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I realised to be authentic in your 20s means to include elements that made you happy when you were really small, mix them with the new interests you got as a teenager, and everything decorated with your current perspective about the world

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Drink more water. Exercise more. Take a screen break. Take some supplements. Go outside. Eat more vegetables. Eat more fruit. Try keto. Try vegetarian. Go vegan. Try harder. Ignore it. Sleep more. Sleep less. Get fresh air. Take a multivitamin. Change your lights. Take a break. Don’t give up. Go for a hike. Go swimming. Try harder. Do some stretches. Do weightlifting. Journal. Be grateful. Pray. Try an ice pack. Try a heating pad. Get a massage. Go to a chiropractor. Relax. Try harder. Go to church. Do cardio. Listen to relaxing music. Try music therapy. Try art therapy. Try aroma therapy. Drink tea. Cut out caffeine. Go to therapy. Get physical therapy. Try harder. Get occupational therapy. Get aquatic therapy. Try equestrian therapy. Find a support group. Do herbal treatment. Use essential oils. Don’t use any aids. Stay active. Get better sleep. Get a better diet. Try harder.

Oh. You’re still broken? Have you tried yoga?

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Y’know what…

Yeah. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of the person who started smoking and kept smoking because they think it looks cool and doesn’t give a shit about all the warnings. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of the person who destroyed their liver because they just love drinking and didn’t stop even if they weren’t addicted. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of the person who never drinks water, only regular cola. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of the person who missed the trampoline when they jumped off the roof to impress their friends. I want my tax dollars to pay for the healthcare of every single person who had to have a surgeon remove something without a flared base from their assholes. I want my tax dollars to pay for all the kinds healthcare needed by all the kinds of people who decided to have sex without any kind of barrier. I want my tax dollars to help fix the teeth of meth users. I want my tax dollars to help everyone who’s been noncompliant with the doctor’s recommendations, everyone who’s been a hypochondriac in the ER, everyone who let things get bad before getting help.

Everyone is deserving. 

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Sometimes abuse is disguised as “punishment”. And I want you to know if your trauma comes from “punishment”, that you are completely valid. You didn’t deserve it.

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that feeling of your heart dropping when you found out something you wish you didn't.

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this might sound silly but when people share pics they took on walks with me i kind of believe in beauty and humanity again like oh? you noticed a small creature? you were in awe of the deep blue of the sky? the way the light touched the houses and reflected off the windows? my heart sings we are alive we are alive we are alive

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I keep looking for you everywhere I hope I never find you

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Joan Didion, from Blue Nights

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there’s a moment when you can’t handle the stress anymore and you can just feel yourself withdrawing back into your own head and sinking into a place far from reality and you can’t crawl out of there easily so you just watch everything fall apart while you’re trapped inside and paralysed.

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girlie that's not a random headache u are dehydrated malnourished over caffeinated over stressed and sleep deprived

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― Ivan Turgenev, Fathers and Sons (translated by George Reavy)

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Your chances for a better life don’t end after your 20s. It’s a new beginning, that’s all. You can still chase your dreams at an older age, you can make new paths, new careers, and you will find new opportunities to improve your life. Growing old doesn’t have to mean becoming obsolete, even if society glamorizes being young. You’re not wasted or useless because you’re older. You don’t have an expiration date set to your 30s, 40s, 50s… because you’re not an object for consumption, so don’t ever let society make you believe that. You’re on this earth to live the best way you can, and you can still change your life at any age, even if other people don’t give you credit because you’re growing older.

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eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.