mythosphere

[mythosphere]

scrunkly blorbos except they’re a nuanced dead person that you need to handle with care like a fragile package

[mythosphere]

2020 : oh i probably shouldnt make headcanons regarding a fictionalized version of a historical figure that can come off as weird and disrespectful :[

2025 : i know petronius snores loud as fuuuuuuck

[mythosphere]

If you're feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics tonight remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. the more information you ingest as you scroll the calmer you will become

[mythosphere]

The "historically accurate" movie: Bleebus and Blorbus were fast childhood friends, but grew apart in adulthood due to political differences, eventually becoming bitter enemies who led opposing armies at the Battle of Shitty Hill, an era-defining conflict which culminated in a one-on-one confrontation between the two, who wounded each other grievously and died arm in arm.

Actual history: Bleebus and Blorbus met once when both were in their thirties. They had functionally identical politics, though they regarded each other with mild distaste because one of them spoke French. The Battle of Shitty Hill was a relatively unimportant border skirmish in which Bleebus died from falling off a horse; Blorbus didn't show up at all, dying ten years later of complications from syphilis.

[mythosphere]

[In a room where it's all quiet]: Wow it's like a western front in here

[mythosphere]

when jorge luis borges wrote in a copy of beowulf that he was working on translating, “beyond my anxiety, beyond this writing, the universe waits, inexhaustible, inviting.”

[mythosphere]

put my hand down his pants call that seizing the means of production

[mythosphere]

love starting a war show they just throw 25 identical looking guys at u and then leave u too it. they don't even wish u good luck or nothing just. here have the lads. its like getting into a new kpop group

[mythosphere]

She kata on my basis till my soul descends to Hades.

[mythosphere]

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

[mythosphere]

ok. not to be petty and a hater. but it's pretty funny to see epic the musical fans insisting that any extra-homeric myths about odysseus don't count because "the odyssey is canon"

[mythosphere]

reading a letter that pliny wrote to his wife calpurnia while she was away from home and on its face it's very sweet (he talks about walking to her room out of habit and then remembering she's not there and how he feels like he's a jilted lover) but also it's extremely funny to imagine a guy getting paraclausithyron'd in his own house

[mythosphere]

Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.

[mythosphere]

being an actual classicist online is like. no that's wrong. that's not true. that's inaccurate. that text is considered spurious by literally everyone. hi beautiful mutual. that anecdote is not real. that's a misconception. you fundamentally misunderstood the text. not wrong but expressed badly. that's wrong. hi mutual. is this taking the mf historia augusta at face value?? wrong. misinformed undergrad hubris. politically heinous. hi other beautiful mutual. wrong. you made that up. wr

[mythosphere]

[mythosphere]

oh come on. when cassandra's screaming about how the house of atreus smells like slaughter and she can see children holding their own entrails on the roof of the stage building-- right behind the theater of dionysus is the altar of dionysus. where they have been killing animals and roasting their entrails for the dionysia. the smell of blood probably really was coming from the direction of the stage building.

[mythosphere]

pulling my teeth out, throwing up, jumping off a bridge, getting a lobotomy after reading this and thinking how little of henry & sidney is left