myysweetpea - Tumblr blog

myysweetpea · 2 days ago

Text

the injury of finally knowing you - clementine ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა ♡

ok so i accidentally deleted the ask like a fool ;-; but this was requested of me to write! >.<

clementine x gn!reader | 3.1k words

“i would soso love to see a twdg fic !!!!! like a clementine/reader fic where they’ve known each other for a while. could be platonic or romantic but like… hurt/comfort somehow. gahh i love her so bad sorry i never see clem fics anymore ;p”

cw: cursing, an attempt at hurt/comfort :'), mentions of character deaths, romantic leaning but it's kinda up in the air :3

˖𓂃.☘︎ ݁˖

relieved is an understatement when trying to describe how seeing the school gates again felt. you trailed sluggishly behind clementine and louis, an ache in your stomach from running so much. you look over at clementine, breathless and exhausted in more ways than just physical, staggering her way forward. louis feels impossible to catch up with, even while holding a very injured aj.

you certainly weren’t in the best condition, but the way clementine swayed in front of you made you worry. your weary legs reacted before your brain could fully catch up, jogging over and offering her support that she dared to weakly decline. how typical of her, to still act so tough despite her dragging her feet as if her legs were made of lead, pained and fatigued winces escaping her lips in sharp hisses. her body ached but she had to keep moving, she had to make sure aj was okay.

“clem now is no time to keep up the tough act. c’mere,” you demand of her, tone coming out a little harsher than you intended. the abruptness of the situation had you distraught, but she seemed too tired to notice or argue any further, simply accepting as you slung her arm over your shoulder.

the next little while was a flurry of rushing around and the sound of panicked muttering, the others emerging and witnessing what was happening. you tried your best to ignore them so you could focus on making sure aj and clementine were okay. they stayed out of the way for the most part, but the bitter voices of some of the more displeased people in the group couldn’t help but find their way to your ears.

you were glad violet had whisked clementine away once she’d regained her strength a little, you’d prefer for her to not hear the less-than-positive reaction to their return for as long as possible. but you weren’t stupid, you knew that clementine was well aware of the pointed glares being sent your way as you all hobbled through the school.

you rest the back of your hand against aj’s forehead, a relieved exhale passing through your lungs when you feel that he is no longer burning up.

“ruby, his fever’s starting to go down,” you alert the redhead standing behind you with a soft smile. it disappears almost as quickly as it showed up when mitch chimes in, angry as always.

“great. we’re just giving them our medicine, too?” he complains.

your head whips around, brows furrowed into a scowl.

“will you keep your voice down!” you’re whisper-shouting, already at your wits end with everything else that’s happening, you didn’t need mitch added to the mix. “i understand why you’re upset, but what’s important right now is that he’s a fucking kid and he’s injured. take your complaints somewhere else, please.”

you couldn’t completely blame him for his anger given the circumstances, but you couldn’t see how aj being this badly injured wasn’t enough to put a stop to his whining.

he looked a little taken aback by your little outburst, scoffing with a shake of his head before retreating to the principal’s office.

your attention turns back to aj, huffing out a frustrated sigh. your mood lightened a little when you noticed him sleeping soundly on the sofa, free from pain for hopefully a few peaceful hours.

“damn, it usually takes me a lot longer to get him to shut up. good job,” you hear ruby’s voice say from behind you. it earns a small chuckle from you before you stand and turn to face her.

“thanks, ruby. sorry about all that, he just… i know what happened with marlon was messed up, but he’s hurt and i don’t know what i’d do if he got worse- what clem would do…”

ruby gives you a sympathetic smile, understanding your frustrations.

“i know, i promise. why don’t you leave this little guy to me, hm? you should probably go make sure mitch isn’t kickin’ up a fuss in there,” she nods in the direction of the principal’s office, a knowing look on her face. of course, you wanted to make sure aj was okay, but ruby knew you were probably going crazy wondering if clementine was alright. she hadn’t known you both for long but she had working eyes, she could see how close you were.

“well, there’s nobody more better suited than you,” you flash her a smile before excusing yourself, leaving her to take your former place by aj’s side as he sleeps.

˖𓂃.☘︎ ݁˖

the conversation you walked in on was uncomfortable, to say the least, raised voices sounding from every direction in the room. people were angry and scared, lily’s plan to attack looming over everyone’s heads.

you truly admired clementine for her ability to command the room despite her not exactly winning the popularity contest amongst the group. by some miracle, and with the imminent danger waiting right around the corner, the group allowed you to stay; at least for a little while.

although you were relieved that you didn’t have to wander aimlessly on the outside, lily and her people weighed heavy on your mind. but with clementine and violet being the most level-headed out of everyone, a plan was finally starting to form.

you all began gathering everything you could find to start building your defences, awkward tension constantly settled over everyone as they tried to focus on the task at hand whilst processing everything else that had happened in the last few days.

who you were most worried about was clementine, almost able to envision a physical weight on her shoulders with the way she dragged herself through the school. it was probably hidden from most of the others, but you had come to learn she was very good at maintaining that hardened demeanour that has been years in the making.

there was a tiredness in her eyes that had appeared a long time ago and never seemed to leave. her brows were always furrowed, making her appear older and harsher than she truly was. you cherished the few times you got to see her face relax, her honey-coloured eyes softening in a way that made warmth bloom in your chest. you wished she could look so at ease more often.

a couple of weeks went by, your days spent fortifying the school and waiting anxiously for what was to come. uncertainty is hanging heavily in the air. during this waiting game you were all playing, you’d shamelessly let your eyes wander, settling onto clementine as you watched her go about her days.

there was a gleam in your eyes when your gaze came to rest on her, a spark you couldn’t really bring yourself to deny. it made you feel normal, to have your heart rate spike whenever her hand brushed yours by accident. the pounding in your chest felt good for once instead of the hammering fear you usually felt. you couldn’t help but indulge in it, a guilty little secret that kept your mind occupied as you daydreamed of her.

˖𓂃.☘︎ ݁˖

nightfall comes sooner than you thought it would. the sky was completely void of sunlight now, a dark speckled blanket that cocooned around the school. you wish you could enjoy the serenity of having a sea of stars to admire right outside of your window like this. perhaps the one good thing about the apocalypse is that there was almost zero light pollution.

but you couldn’t. you don’t remember what it felt like not to walk around with a constant pit in your stomach, anxiety constantly prickling at your skin and making goosebumps rise in its path. you couldn’t quite shake the feeling of a presence lingering behind you even though you knew nobody was there, at least for now.

you got the feeling that clementine may be feeling a similar way as the bunk beneath you shifts. you remain as if you were asleep, listening to the soft thud of your door opening and shutting. you strained your ears to hear the deliberately softened footsteps that trailed down the hall.

you had been lying awake for a while so it was definitely the later hours of the night by now, and last time clementine snuck out of your room two people ended up dead. you weren’t taking any chances.

you quietly lowered yourself from your bunk, glancing over at aj only to see that he’s still soundly asleep. a bittersweet smile flashes across your face before you turn away, glad to see him resting. but his recent habit of staying up to “keep watch” had taken a toll on him, his little frame slumped over and exhausted throughout the day.

you tiptoe softly out of your room, following the sounds of floorboards creaking until you reach the outside. you’re greeted by the sight of clementine perched on the steps, head whipping around at the sound of you opening the doors.

“jesus- oh, it’s you,” clementine gasps, jumping a little at the surprise. you wince in guilt for scaring her, a bashful smile on your face as you look away shyly.

“sorry, clem. i didn’t mean to scare you, i just heard you get up and got worried,” you chuckle

she simply nods in acknowledgement but it’s not dismissive, her eyes remaining on you.

“i um… couldn’t sleep anyway, i assumed that might be the case for you too. thought some company would be nice.”

you’re resisting the urge to squirm under her gaze. it’s intense, but not like how it is when she’s standing her ground, demanding the attention of the room and always getting it. her eyes aren’t narrowed like usual, instead the orbs are soft and rounded as she looks up at you. they’re brimming with something but you can’t tell what, their usual icy glaze melted down into something warmer.

“you can come and sit with me if you’d like?” she offers, gesturing to the empty space beside her. you perk up at this, moving perhaps a little too enthusiastically to sit next to her.

there’s a brief moment of quiet as you settle beside one another, waiting for one of you to interrupt the silence.

“so… what’s got you awake at this hour?” you ask softly, voice cautious. if it was anything like your own reason for being up so late at night then you imagined it wouldn’t be pleasant.

clementine looks over at you with hesitant eyes, her stare analytical as she tries to figure out if she should talk or not. she could be somewhat of an open book when she wanted to be, giving you short glances into herself before she closed herself back up again. you understood that, knowing all too well that this world often betrays you when you let yourself be vulnerable; let yourself get attached. too bad you just couldn’t help yourself.

the two of you had been companions for a while now, long enough for you to remember aj being a toddler. naturally, you had grown close as you grew up together in a world turned upside down. she gave you the privilege of knowing her better than anyone else, but talking about her struggles was always a hard task.

“it’s… aj,” she sighs, the mental hurdle she had to push herself over to even speak her worries out loud painfully visible to you. you stay quiet, body angling slightly more towards her as you listen. your knees brush, a jolt of static sparking between the two of you. you try to ignore it, but the twisting of your stomach makes it hard to forget.

“what about aj?” you prod. her brows furrow and she fidgets with her hands for a moment.

“i just… i feel like i’m failing him…” you remain silent, letting her take the lead in the conversation. your heart twists at the way her voice sounds like there’s barbed wire wrapped around her throat; you knew it probably felt that way too.

“he’s still so little, even if he disagrees with me on that. trying to keep him safe but also keep him strong is so hard. he’s just a kid and it’s so hard for him to remember that sometimes.”

she sounds utterly defeated and it shatters your heart. you yearn to reach out, to hold her while you promise her everything will be okay even though you have no way of guaranteeing that.

“i just get so scared that i’m walking him down the wrong path, that i’m turning him into a monster like i know some of the others here think. i just need him to be safe, i can’t let him get hurt because i didn’t do good enough.”

clementine is tough, the toughest person you’ve ever met and you’re sure of it, but you knew this must be really getting to her. her eyes are wide and glossy, vacantly staring in front of her at nothing in particular. her leg bounces rapidly and her breaths are shaky and the sight of her feels like a stab to the heart.

it was a topic that was rarely brought up but you knew. you knew the way she was so hard on herself to make sure aj was safe. that little boy was her whole world, but a part of her felt like this was her chance at redemption. to bring herself peace after shouldering the responsibility for the deaths of so many people she cared about.

she was silent now, unable to look at you as she continued staring straight ahead.

“clem…” you call her name softly, beckoning her to come back to you from whatever hellscape her brain was dragging her back into. you gently move your hand towards her, making sure it passes through her line of sight so as to not startle her. you take her hand in yours, a little chilly from the cool night air, and trace light circles over the skin.

you see that she jumps a little, not so much in fear but as if she reconnected with her own body again. she looks between you and her hand in yours, her exterior softening a little as you soothed her. you were always good at that.

“i’m sorry, i know you came out here to clear your own head, not to take a look into mine,” she laughs dryly. you squeeze her hand at this.

“don’t be sorry, it’s what i’m here for.”

this earns a small smile from clementine, her hand squeezing yours in return before you let go. she immediately misses the feeling of your skin.

“are you okay?” she asks after a little while, remembering that you couldn’t have been feeling too great if it led you out here as well.

you hesitate for a moment, but you speak anyway.

“i’m just kinda feeling what everyone else is feeling. it’s not like i want lily and her people to come but… i don’t know, the waiting is making things even worse. everyone’s scared and i can’t do anything about it.”

clementine nods along as she listens, empathetic as she shares that same pit in her stomach that followed wherever she went.

“i hear you,” she replies simply, wishing there was more she could say, more she could promise. but there wasn’t.

“as uncertain as things are though, i have hope that we’ll make it. you whipped everyone into shape, i think. you’re pretty scary when you wanna be,” you giggle softly, the first genuine laugh you think you’d let out all day.

clem raises an eyebrow at this, entertaining your statement.

“you think i’m scary?” she repeats back.

“hmm… no, not to me. but i think other people are intimidated by you, you have a pretty nasty glare,” you tease and it earns a soft chuckle from her. you drink up the sound as if you’d stumbled upon an oasis with an unquenchable thirst.

“really? i guess that’s a useful thing to have,” clementine shrugs at your words. she pauses for a moment, seemingly making a last-minute decision on whether to speak or not. “i’m glad i don’t scare you though. i don’t think i’d forgive myself if i made you feel like that.”

clementine’s voice is a little softer now, quiet as if she didn’t mind there being a chance that you didn’t hear her. but you did.

“i don’t think i could ever scared of you. that glare might work on everyone else but not me. your eyes are too pretty to be scary.”

you talk without thinking much of it, your honesty starting to pour out of you like a faucet. she freezes at your compliment, incredibly unused to receiving them. she doesn’t look uncomfortable though, more like she’s fumbling at your praise.

“oh- um, thank you,” she smiles bashfully. it’s incredibly rare that you see her flustered in any way so you made sure to commit her awkward shuffles and fidgety hands to memory for you to fawn over later. you only respond with an amused hum, tilting your head as you look at her. she seemed a little more spritely now.

“and about what you said before,” you begin cautiously, not wanting to ruin the pleasant atmosphere you’d created but you knew it needed to be said. “you’re doing a really good job with aj, honestly. i’ve been with you guys long enough to know that for sure.”

clementine’s posture is tense but it’s more anticipatory, hanging on to your every word like they supplied her oxygen.

“but you need to know that as much as it sucks, you can’t shield him from everything. the world’s not how it used to be; it’s hard to keep the balance of making sure he gets to enjoy being a kid while also teaching him to protect himself.”

clem simply watches you with furrowed brows and an expression so vulnerable that she looks like a kicked puppy.

“i think you’re doing the very best you can with that, don’t let people who have no idea what it’s like tell you any different.”

you watch as she exhales slowly, all of the tension slowly leaving her body as she lets your words soothe her forever-worrying mind. wordlessly she scoots closer to you, your head instinctively meeting her shoulder as she lets herself enjoy this closeness with you.

“thank you,” she speaks in an earnest whisper. you turn your head to place a gentle kiss on her jacket-clad shoulder, your cheek squishing against her as you nuzzle into her side. your position prevents you from seeing the rosy flush that blooms across her cheeks at the gesture, but you’re content enough where you are. you hoped you’d helped in distracting her from the noise of her own head.

“like i said, it’s what i’m here for.”

˖𓂃.☘︎ ݁˖

a/n: i’m scared this is kinda bad, i don't have much experience writing angsty stuff </3 but to make something good i have to make it exist first, maybe i’ll come back n rewrite some of this someday :D i hope you enjoyed regardless!

15 notes · View notes

myysweetpea · 3 days ago

Text

a real tried and true guide on how to survive hogwarts

part i , disclaimer, context, credentials

hi. if you're reading this, you're either about to shift into hogwarts, you already have and need help, or you're nosey and looking for gossip. all three are valid.

anyway. this isn't a spellbook or a diary or whatever. it's just a guide. a stupid little guide written by a girl who shifted into hogwarts the summer before her seventh year. that girl being me. obviously. hi hello.

i'm half veela. i'm a gryffindor. i'm a pureblood and head girl. technically (allegedly) related to russian royalty (dad's side, no one fact-check that, thanks). also james potter's cousin, which is either a blessing or a lifelong comedic hex. we'll get into that.

currently, in my dr, it's march. it's 1977. yes, it's the marauders era. yes, it's sadly as complicated as you've been told. so i've been here long enough to know what's worth your time and what isn't.

this guide isn't anti-anything. it's not anti-harry era or pro-marauders or whatever tribal loyalty people feel the need to swear by. and i'm just a girl who saw a castle full of moving portraits and violently unregulated boarding school dynamics and thought, hm. better write some of this down.

expect inconsistencies. expect ellipses. expect brackets and edits. this isn't a perfect object. it's not even aesthetic. it's information, tempered with experience. and a little whining. and a lot of caps lock. i'm not neutral but i'm fair. if i tell you to avoid a corridor, it's because i tripped there and dented my knee against a suit of armour. if i tell you not to trust the astronomy tower at night, it's because i've been dragged out of it by two prefects and a howler.

– e.

part ii , the houses. dos, don'ts, notes, secrets

okay let's get one thing cleared before the owl post starts piling up: none of the houses are better. i wish. not in the way you think anyway. they're just differently annoying. it's like living with four different niche twitter cults who all think they invented......anything. you're not here to choose the best one. you're here to learn how to survive the neurotic interior of four medieval social experiments without losing your wand or your mind. so. welcome. let's start breaking this down. house by house. alphabetically. fair's fair.

　　　　　　gryffindor ,

　꒰ gryffindor ꒱　do:

know who you're friends with. the tower has cliques like it's a bloody court. if you're not in the quidditch lot or the prank lot or the girl-in-the-bathrobe-eating-dried-figs lot, you'll get lost. and trust me, once you're cast out of the rhythm, it's impossible to catch up without some kind of public redemption arc.

keep snacks under your bed. someone will raid your trunk. it'll be your fault if they find nothing. chocolate frogs disappear fastest. bertie botts are currency during exam season.

back your friends in public. you can fight in private, that's what stolen bathroom mirrors are for. loyalty here is loud. you defend your people or you find new people. it's that simple.

get good at hexes. not big ones. just enough to make a point. people respect a girl who can disarm someone.

　꒰ gryffindor ꒱　don't:

ask about the portrait passwords more than once. people will think you're daft or a spy. or worse, a ravenclaw.

ever speak badly of lily evans within earshot of literally anyone. ever. even if she's wrong. she's not wrong. even when she is.

think you're above house drama. it will find you. it's like poltergeist fog. you breathe it in.

try to make peace between sirius and james when they're having one of their competitive breakdowns. just leave the room. leave the building. floo somewhere else.

　꒰ gryffindor ꒱　notes:

our common room smells like treacle, smoke, and someone's broken dream journal. the rug hasn't been cleaned in 40 years. it's alive.

you'll develop an immunity to boys screaming at 3am. embrace it. eventually you won't hear it. it becomes ambience.

at least three people have kissed on every windowsill. probably more. watch where you sit.

there's a secret corridor behind the second years' dormitory that leads to a trapdoor in the library. don't ask how i know. just be careful. it squeaks. use it for late-night escapism or very niche dares.

if you lose a sock, check the fireplace. the raccoon has black friday sales.

　꒰ gryffindor ꒱　secrets:

the first year with the biggest eyes is usually the one who will hex you first. don't underestimate them. especially if they knit.

someone once summoned a raccoon into the tower. it lives in the fireplace. we feed it sometimes. it knows too much.

marlene mckinnon's perfume has been banned on two floors. still not sure how she made it. allegedly involves rosewater.

there's a love letter carved behind the girls' staircase. it's in latin. no one knows who it's for.

　　　　　　hufflepuff ,

　꒰ hufflepuff ꒱　do:

be honest. they'll know if you're fake. they're terrifying like that. they read body language.

bring extra quills. someone always forgets theirs. and they'll remember if you helped.

help clean the common room when they ask. it's a test. pass it and you're in.

compliment their plants. especially the named ones. yes, the ones with names. and histories.

　꒰ hufflepuff ꒱　don't:

mock herbology. not even as a joke. you will be hexed with something fungal. a boy sneezed spores for a week.

try to flirt during study time. they have boundaries. it's revolting. save your seduction for the courtyard.

underestimate their memory. they remember everything. birthdays. betrayals. your essay title from october. you'll be confronted.

mess with their food. they will find out. they will seek revenge. it will be edible. and poetic.

　꒰ hufflepuff ꒱　notes:

the dorms smell like parchment and cinnamon and sometimes....... chalk? don't question it.

there's a tunnel behind the fourth table in the dining hall that leads straight to their kitchens. don't try it. you'll be caught. and possibly recruited.

their prefects have a secret meeting schedule. not even mcgonagall knows it. or she does. she's just letting them win.

they trade biscuits. it's currency......kind of? shortbread is the galleon. oatcakes are for petty debts.

　꒰ hufflepuff ꒱　secrets:

the password to their common room changes based on mood. it's... sentient?? or nosy. possibly both.

they keep an unofficial journal of the year's drama. it's charmed!!!!!! to be invisible to outsiders.

if you ever cry in their bathroom, someone will hand you a full skincare kit within minutes. i don't know how they do it. it's disturbing.

one of them dated a ghost once. no one talks about it but we all remember. it was a phase.

they've won the secret best-kept dorm award six years in a row. not officially. but we all know.

　　　　　　ravenclaw ,

　꒰ ravenclaw ꒱　do:

knock before entering. even if it's a public space. just do it.

carry a notebook. not to write into it to pretend you have thoughts. doodle some runes at least.

memorise the library's quiet zones. they will excommunicate you. and hiss.

fake knowledge about obscure magical theory if cornered. confidence is key. say "as aquinas wrote" and walk away.

　꒰ ravenclaw ꒱　don't:

correct them. even when they're wrong. especially when they're wrong. and if you do well.....godspeed idk. be ready to have a debate.

joke about rowena. seriously. just don't. you'll be hexed. and then footnoted.

ask to copy their notes. just no. they watermark them. you'll be exposed.

try to bond over books unless you've actually read them. they'll test you. it'll get socratic.

　꒰ ravenclaw ꒱　notes:

their dorm smells like ink and lemon tea and something vaguely metallic. one time it smelled like ozone. still no answers.

they hex their door with riddles. if you fail one, you have to wait. yes. really. it once took me two hours to get in.

some of them live like victorian ghosts. shawls. candles. unexplained sighing. and yet somehow........chic?

the girls' dorm has a wall that writes back.

　꒰ ravenclaw ꒱　secrets:

there's a ghost cat that only appears during exams. pet it for luck. avoid it if you've cheated.

the top floor of the tower hosts midnight debates. you need an invite. and a thesis.

someone keeps rewriting hogwarts: a history with footnotes and scandal. it's 400 pages now.

the portraits in their corridor gossip. say anything near them and it'll be everywhere by breakfast.

they have a drawer of confiscated enchanted pens. don't ask and don't take.

　　　　　　slytherin ,

　꒰ slytherin ꒱　do:

keep secrets. even dumb ones. it'll earn you points. they clock loyalty fast.

make allies, not friends. at least at first. friends come later. after the blood pacts.

know the rules better than they do. use that. loopholes loopholes loopholes.

compliment their robes. they'll pretend it doesn't matter. it does.

　꒰ slytherin ꒱　don't:

mention gryffindor.

ever say the word "mudblood." even here. especially here. that's not clever. that's outdated. and stupid.

try to sneak into their dorm. it'll spit you out. and then curse you. and then tell everyone.

touch anything labelled in green ink. it's not for you.

　꒰ slytherin ꒱　notes:

their dorm smells like stone and mint and disappointment. it's weirdly comforting.

their beds have curtains so thick you could murder someone and no one would know. not saying anyone has. just saying they could.....

their prefects are terrifying. but also hot??? unclear.

they have a mirror that tells you things you don't want to hear. avoid. unless you hate yourself. then it's a party.

　꒰ slytherin ꒱　secrets:

the lake window shows things that aren't real. or maybe they are. depends on who you ask. or what mood the squid's in.

someone keeps brewing perfume in the potions room. smells like rain.

one of them cursed the scales to always say 7lbs less. nobody's fixed it. people just plan outfits around it now.

if you bring them blood pops, they'll tell you anything. literally. even who snuck into the staffroom last tuesday.

there's a staircase behind the second potions closet. it leads nowhere. or somewhere. or maybe just down.

part iii , the core classes

okay so let's talk about classes. like yes you're here to learn magic blah blah but also. you're in a castle full of kids with issues and sugar highs and everyone's wand is like one wrong flick away from becoming a sentient hazard. the classes are where the chaos concentrates. the professors are mostly unhinged. the curriculum makes NO GODDAMN sense. sorry. ahem. half the textbooks contradict each other. some of the ghosts help. some of them haunt.

this is the 70s so everything's about ten years out of date. the robes itch. the desks have been cursed at least once. and everyone is tired. so. here's the guide.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　transfiguration , professor mcgonagall. icon. terrifying. if you don't cry at least once in her class you're either soulless or very very lucky. she does NOT tolerate lateness or whispers or incorrect posture. but if you're good at it, she'll like you. and if she likes you, you're safe. for now.

　꒰ do ꒱　 sit near the front. show you're serious. even if you're not. practise every day. it's not a theory class. it's kinetic. your wand hand will ache. embrace it. volunteer answers. even if you're guessing. she respects boldness. it's gryffindor-ish. learn the difference between switching spells and vanishing spells. FAST.　

　꒰ don't ꒱　 bring food. once a kid brought a treacle tart and transfigured it into a ferret. interrupt her. you will be called a disgrace and compared unfavourably to a rock. try to cheat. flirt in class. she will hex your lips together. happened last year. we remember.　

　꒰ notes ꒱　 the desks shift. don't ask. just sit quick. the textbook is full of lies. go off the blackboard. her animagus form has been known to spy on us. act accordingly. transfiguring live animals is banned. for good reason. no one wants a hamster lamp situation again. 　

　꒰ secrets ꒱ if you leave her a good cup of tea in the classroom before a test, she grades softer. the back left drawer in her desk has notes from when she was a student. cursed notes. there's a transfigured toad in the wall. it sings. no one talks about it.　

　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　charms , professor flitwick. tiny. delightful. will take points and still smile at you. he's got a high tolerance for chaos but not for rudeness.

　꒰ do ꒱ sit in the middle row. safest zone. practise wand movement until it's muscle memory. ask questions. he LOVES them. bring colour-coded notes. he will notice. he will coo.　

　꒰ don't ꒱ speak over him. ever. skip homework. he checks. obsessively. mock his height. obviously. you'll regret it. laugh during levitation lessons. the feathers have feelings.　

　꒰ notes ꒱ he sometimes gives extra credit for neat handwriting. his quizzes are riddles disguised as instructions. his lessons are fun until someone's eyebrows get set on fire. which is often. he names the classroom objects. the chalkboard is mildred.　

　꒰ secrets ꒱ he collects chocolate frog cards. if you gift him a rare one, you're untouchable. there's a charm that makes ink smell like anything. he'll teach it if you ask nicely. once levitated an entire row of desks during a duel demo. wore a bowtie. if he whistles during class, it means he's about to call on you.　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　potions , professor slughorn. obsessed with potential. if you have a famous relative, he knows. if you have talent, he wants it.

　꒰ do ꒱ show up early. claim the good cauldron. befriend the slytherins. they get the best ingredients. pretend to be modest. he loves a "humble genius." write neatly. sloppy handwriting = disappointment.　

　꒰ don't ꒱ question his methods. he gets pouty. bring weak ingredients. he'll sniff them and go "oh dear." mock the slug club. even if it's stupid. breathe too loud when he's mixing.　

　꒰ notes ꒱ the classroom is too warm. always. cauldrons WILL explode if you stir wrong. someone lost eyebrows. slytherins run the room. navigate with caution. start dating one, you'll be fine. why do you think i started dating coryo?? love? soulmatism? please. i need a passing grade. the fumes are mildly hallucinogenic. it's fine.　

　꒰ secrets ꒱ he keeps a vial of unicorn tears in his pocket. always. the third shelf has a jar labelled "confiscated." don't touch it. if you write your essay on bezoars, he'll nod like he discovered them. once cried during a lesson. said it was allergies.　

　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　defence against the dark arts , professor merrythought retired last year. current one's name changes like every term. this year it's professor dorian clare. new. weird. probably cursed.

　꒰ do ꒱ act impressed. he eats it up. ask him about his travels. he WILL monologue. copy his notes exactly. he marks for phrasing. be ready to duel. at all times.　

　꒰ don't ꒱ mention previous professors. especially if they died. point out when he contradicts himself. duel unless you're ready to be humiliated. fall for him. i beg. it's not worth it.　

　꒰ notes ꒱ his lessons feel fake deep but the spells are real. the classroom changes temperature based on vibe. he's allergic to frogs. unrelated but fun. he quotes poetry in lectures. ignore it.　

　꒰ secrets ꒱ keeps a cursed locket in his desk. once sparred with mulciber and won. barely. the mirror behind his desk isn't a mirror. rumoured to be part veela. denies it. suspiciously well.　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　herbology , professor sprout. earth goddess. mum. will help you even if you're awful. but don't touch her plants without asking. seriously.　

　꒰ do ꒱ wear gloves. always. label everything. she loves organisation. work with hufflepuffs. they know things. compliment her earmuffs. she has twelve pairs.　　

　꒰ don't ꒱ laugh at the plants. fake knowledge. she'll know. mess around with mandrakes. even baby ones. steal seeds. that's a one-way trip to detention.　　

　꒰ notes ꒱ the greenhouses are HOT and GODDAMN HUMID. dress light. the dirt is charmed to not stain. mostly. screaming is normal. ignore it. sprout hums when she's in a good mood.　　

　꒰ secrets ꒱ there's a cactus that predicts rain. don't ask how. she grows peppermint near the windows. it's enchanted. one of the plants eats essays. it's contained. mostly. the watering cans are alive. they judge.　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　history of magic , professor cuthbert binns. maybe this will be biased but i liked history of magic.........

　꒰ do ꒱ sit near the door. for a fast exit. write the date at the top of every page. it's the only thing that'll make sense. learn names and years by brute force. use flashcards. hex them to float around your bed. sleep learning. it's the only way. bring food. binns won't notice. or care.　

　꒰ don't ꒱ ask questions. he won't hear them. and if he does, he'll ignore them. raise your hand and he'll glide through you. try to take notes the normal way. you'll lose your mind. make eye contact with a hufflepuff. they're always asleep. it's contagious.　

　꒰ notes ꒱ binns is a ghost. died in the staff room. came back to teach and never left. the room is always cold. bring layers. he doesn't breathe so the lectures never pause. it's like being waterboarded with centuries. no one knows how he grades. the essays just come back. marked in blood? ink? ectoplasm? unclear.　

　꒰ secrets ꒱ sometimes he mutters things not in the syllabus. listen closely. once he whispered about a goblin conspiracy and the fifth floor mirror. another time he named a centaur like he was in love. if you answer one of his rhetorical questions, he nods once. that's how you know you're still alive.　

part iv , the electives

so. electives. you don't get to pick them straight away. you're like fourteen when they hand you the form. and if you're me, you picked based on what sounded the least like maths. or what your cousin dared you into. or because someone older said something cryptic in the common room and you spiralled. whatever........... point is, some people treat electives like side quests. they're not. they're real. they eat your timetable and your sleep and sometimes your dignity. choose wisely. or don't. i didn't. and i'm fine.

except divination. divination has personally ruined my life. but we'll get there.

　astronomy , professor sinistra. who is indeed very peculiar. ("wait wasn't she from the golden trio?" YES. and i still scripted her in).

　꒰ do ꒱ bring your own star maps. the school ones are outdated. selwyn does not teach by textbook. she teaches by memory, myth, and whatever the hell she scrawled in the margins of her doctoral thesis. sit at the front of the dome if you can stomach vertigo. the best angles are up there. know your greek. know your roman.　

　꒰ don't ꒱ mention horoscopes. mention "mercury retrograde." mention co-star. i beg. this is astronomy. not tiktok's pet branch of astrology.　

　꒰ notes ꒱ the observatory is always cold. dress accordingly. do not fall asleep during moon tracking. she'll mark your chart in blood-red. she brings coffee in a thermos shaped like saturn. this means nothing but also everything.　

　꒰ secrets ꒱ the notes she gives are coded. not metaphorically. actually coded. she uses constellations as mnemonics and once buried a test answer in a kepler footnote. one time, she said she'd been to the moon. didn't elaborate. someone found a vial of moon dust in her drawer. it glowed.　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　ancient runes , professor vesta rowan. terrifying. dressed like a victorian librarian who survived ragnarok. smelled like ink, iron, and lightly scorched vellum.

　꒰ do ꒱ memorise your alphabets. all of them. futhark, younger futhark, anglo-saxon, proto-cuneiform if you're ambitious. she doesn't believe in "translation." only "unveiling." sit near the fire. you'll need the warmth. copy her annotations exactly. they read like spells and might be.　

　꒰ don't ꒱ joke about tattoos. do not try to "guess" meanings. if you get it wrong, she'll break your quill. happened to me in november.　

　꒰ notes ꒱ there's a crow that sits by the window during full moons. we do not acknowledge it. the runes etch themselves into your memory if you study hard enough. sometimes literally. 　

　꒰ notes ꒱ there's a drawer in her desk full of unsolved inscriptions. you can look if she likes you.

　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　divination , professor selwyn. she's loco in the coco. no notes.

　꒰ do ꒱ act respectful. she reads doubt like others read palms. bring your own tea leaves. school supply is weak. nod even if you don't understand. especially then. her lessons are 70% metaphor, 30% trauma flashback. 　

　꒰ don't ꒱ mock the art. she'll say "not everything real is rational," and stare until you feel medieval. don't fake visions. she'll know. don't ask her to predict grades. someone did and got told "do you want to die before june?"　

　꒰ notes ꒱ she burns herbs for clarity. you'll cough. she says that's part of it. the crystal balls are real. they reflect your fear. her deck of tarot is older than the castle.　

　꒰ notes ꒱ once wrote a prophecy on the ceiling and erased it the next day. no one knows why. she once said "the tower will fall." no one knows what tower. we pretend it's metaphorical.　

　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　　　and here comes the word of mouth editions !!!!

　care of magical creatures , kettleburn. missing half a leg. and most of his patience.

you will get clawed. bit. burned. one student got winged in the face by a hippogriff. another fainted at the sight of a thestral. kettleburn says things like "well if it doesn't kill you, it teaches you something." he is not joking.

　꒰ student reportings ꒱ bring raw meat to class. not as a snack. as a shield. bow properly. always. every creature is either insulted or flattered. there's no in between. 　

　꒰ lore ꒱ there's a forest ledger. kettleburn updates it by hand. not magically. with a pen. says the trees don't trust charms. the creatures don't listen unless you do the voice. what voice? you'll know.　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　arithmancy , from the archives of the insufferably bright (my boyfriend's yappings)

professor vector is mean. but fair. but mostly mean. she teaches like she's on a clock. possibly literally. the math is real. the stakes are theoretical. the board changes mid-equation. if you don't get it, she doesn't slow down.

one time, someone cried into their notes and they rewrote themselves in binary. vector called it "progress." there's no spell in the curriculum. it's all logic.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　ghoul studies , student consensus: what the fuck but also....... maybe genius?

　　professor: finch. first name unknown. maybe doesn't have one.

　꒰ heard ꒱ it's not about ghouls the way divination isn't really about teacups. it's about haunting, but in the bureaucratic sense. ghosts are romantic. ghouls file paperwork. there are theories. finch talks a lot about "undead sociology" and "post-human civic integration."　

　꒰ report ꒱ the textbook is three inches thick and mostly footnotes. no gossip to read here, everyone comes out of that classroom a shell of themselves.　

do not skip class. the ghouls will notice. and they keep attendance. somehow.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　┊

　muggle studies , aka the elective people took when they thought it'd be "easy." they were wrong. professor ellis. ex-ministry.

it's not about what muggles are. it's about what wizards think they are. which is worse. half the class is just unlearning magical propaganda. ellis starts every term with "muggles invented plastic. your wand can't do that."

(i got lazy, you're not getting alchemy. but then again literally does anyone take alchemy?)

part v , the before-part

let's pivot back a bit. because before you're elbow-deep in essay deadlines or crying in a third-floor girls' bathroom because someone transfigured your quill into a metaphor for emotional repression...... you have to actually get there. hogwarts doesn't just scoop you out of your boring little life and plop you into an enchanted sociopolitical fever dream without a little foreplay.

so here's everything you need to know before you even step foot on the school grounds. this is the real prologue. the chaos before the curriculum. the orientation they don't put in the welcome packet because they assume you'll just... "figure it out." okay.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⋆　　˖　　౨ৎ　˚

　　꒰ step one ꒱ the letter. theeeeee letter. it's not a prank. yes, it looks like one. yes, it arrives via bird. yes, the handwriting is suspiciously nice. still not a prank. if you're muggle-born or raised, act surprised. it gets deliver weird.　　

it'll be on heavy parchment, folded with unnecessary drama, sealed with red wax. you'll get a supply list. there will be no prices. they assume you're either rich or resourceful. start budgeting now.

　　꒰ step two ꒱ diagon alley. ok. here's the dealio. diagon alley is like a magical version of a tourist trap. except you're the tourist and the trap is very real. bring someone who knows the layout. or fake it. walk fast. look busy. pretend you've been there before. where to get your shit:　

robes and uniforms . . madam malkin's. yes, she will pin you too tight and ask rude questions. survive.

wand . . ollivanders. awkward. you will knock something over. they'll clap.

books . . flourish and blotts. expensive. the discount section is cursed but manageable.

cauldrons and glassware . . bring gloves. the shop reeks of vinegar and broken dreams.

pets . . no one cares if you don't get one. don't let them pressure you into buying a frog. frogs are maintenance.

which shops are scams , most of knockturn alley. anything with a name you can't pronounce. any place that smells like burnt thyme. if someone tries to sell you "dragon essence," walk away. that's not dragon anything. that's snake oil. or worse...........piss.　

how not to get mugged , keep your coins hidden. don't pull out your pouch in public. don't say "i'm new here!" like it's cute. it's not. you'll be followed. talk less. glare more. especially if you look rich or muggleborn or lost.　

　　꒰ step three ꒱ platform 9¾. yes, it's a wall. yes, you walk through it. no, you're not being hazed. the trick is momentum. commit.　

how to find it , go to king's cross. look for platforms 9 and 10. find the barrier. wait till no one's watching. walk into it. trust physics. or magic. same thing here.　

who you’ll see there , purebloods with overpacked trunks. muggleborns with fear in their eyes. one kid with a suitcase shaped like a coffin. he's fine. just dramatic. prefects pretending they're too cool for this. families crying. families not crying. someone's owl is always loose. someone's cat has trauma. everyone looks vaguely amish.　

　　꒰ step four ꒱ the train. welcome to the hogwarts express. you'll be sitting on a train for about.....7 hours. with no radio. no wi-fi. everyone's too loud. someone's crying. 　

first-years get shuffled around a lot. no one wants to sit with the wailing ones.

upper-years claim their spots fast. if a seventh year tells you to move, move. unless you have an older brother who is scary and has hexed someone.

prefects sit together. mostly.

slytherins take over the last three compartments. don't barge in unless invited. seriously. gryffindors are loud and snack-heavy. sit with them if you want gossip. or a biscuit.

trolley etiquette , the trolley witch is unbothered. she takes no sides. but she's not stupid. don't try to rob her. pay exact change. don't haggle. and don't order everything unless you want to be known as "that kid who puked before scotland." 　

train politics , stuff happens on the train and it never leaves the train. alliances form. breakups occur. this is your soft launch. people will remember your entrance. so sit well. speak carefully. don't cast. and never admit to bringing contraband in your trunk. they search randomly. and mercilessly.　

and part two is incoming. sometime. 😀

636 notes · View notes