n0eyed-taissa

[n0eyed-taissa]

misty quigley in every episode

1x04

[n0eyed-taissa]

[n0eyed-taissa]

[n0eyed-taissa]

Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice. -Robert Frost

[n0eyed-taissa]

at least van got her pretzel

[n0eyed-taissa]

looking at the ways in which the characters in Yellowjackets try to embody the people they've lost. aka wearing their clothes. mimicking their personalities or roles. i think its worth saying lottie was the first to do this, and not just in wearing laura lees dress. when laura lee dies, lottie takes on the same form of faith-based suicidal ideation laura lee displayed.

reminds me of a story my nana used to tell me about when she was a little girl growing up in a very catholic corner of tyneside during wwii. her neighbour, who had lost both her sons in the fighting, wouldnt evacuate her home during the bombing raids. claiming it was 'gods will' if she died. eventually one night her house was leveled by bombs. and she did die. unfortunately so did her own daughter and a number of the neighbours, including my great grandfather - they died trying to convince her to join them in the bomb shelter. faith-based suicidal ideation often works this way. you cant ask or plan for death, suicide is sinful, so you have to lean into dangerous circumstances that allow you to pretend you were never truly seeking death at all. you were just seeking an answer. but, to quote john fowles (who we know at least somewhat inspired yellowjackets with his books), "an answer is always a form of death". as we know, people with faith often end up putting others in harms way in search of their "answers". as lottie does.

lottie saw that desire to die in laura lee. i think thats what her forseeing both of their deaths during the baptism is really about. because that was the moment their deaths became intrinsically linked. as sure as cause and effect. lotties search for death began the moment laura lee died, and she takes the same path to it - death through faith. even knowing what happened to jackie, lottie cuts herself and allows herself to pass out in the snow. if mari and akilah hadnt found her she would have died that night. she seeks out shauna at her angriest, and asks her to hurt her. and it nearly kills her. its why she then encourages the violence further. incorporates the hunt into her belief system, when originally she was horrifed by it. every time the cards are drawn, she looks disappointed not to be chosen. she seeks out callie, the girl who shot her, a girl she sees the potential for incredible violence in. she even sets out the candles ready, leads callie to the top of the basement stairs, antagonizes her. and when shes finally pushed, she smiles. its the same as what laura lee did. throwing herself headfirst into the shallow end of a pool. choosing to try and fly a plane that was so clearly deteriorated.

when lottie has her vision in the snow she tells laura lee "i dont want to leave you". its a veiled but fairly direct way of voicing that she doesnt want to live. that she values laura lee more. so its no wonder she spends the whole rest of her life chasing death. for lottie, her connection to faith is laura lee and therefore to reach for death/laura lee/faith is all one and the same. they are her own personal holy trinity. its why she sees laura lee at the moment travis dies. he was trying to do the exact same thing - to reach out and touch death, supposedly leave it all in the hands of a higher power (the wilderness' hands. lotties hands. its the same thing. they are the wilderness and it is them), all whilst denying his active choice to die. its why the moment lottie sees laura lee in that scene contains a quick flash of lotties swollen bloody face after shauna beats her almost to death. it would be the first time lottie deliberately invoked violence in her pursuit of death/laura lee/faith.

but its also perhaps why that version of laura lee is decaying and screaming at lottie as travis dies. just like she yelled at lottie to leave. to go get warm. when lottie was passed out in the snow. deep down lottie knows this is not what laura lee would have wanted for her, for any of them. what lottie puts her faith in isnt laura lee anymore, but some rotting, demonic imitation of her. its too late though, the compulsion to chase death is too deeply imbedded. to lottie, its the only way she can reach laura lee, and in doing so reach the comfort and security in faith that she offered. ultimately just searching for somewhere she feels safe after a lifetime of being misunderstood and alienated in her illness.

[n0eyed-taissa]

something really interesting about akilah feeling that the fact she killed her own goats is evidence that her vision was false (autonomy, which contrasts with her conception of faith in the wilderness) and lottie pushing back that, no, this doesn't matter because the vision was actualized regardless.

always find it fascinating how lottie isn't really preying on passive people or assuming that everyone around her is a pawn, like it sometimes gets implied. she seeks active players (natalie, shauna, travis, akilah). it's an interesting thought exercise to wonder how she considers free will and predestination, or how she may have had to adapt her beliefs around this since she so often loses time & control as her lucidity wains in and out.

she seems to gravitate toward people who will eventually resist her and take their own charge, like there's something in that chase that is fueling her and keeping her tethered to the task at hand.

[n0eyed-taissa]

TRAVLOT + murder attempts for @bandydear

[n0eyed-taissa]

‘van is a wolf this’ ‘van is a wolf that’ no, you are all wrong. van will forever be a silly orange cat.

the resemblance is uncanny

[n0eyed-taissa]

Yellowjackets reached peak comedy when Lottie expressly asked Taissa if she was outside eating dirt and Taissa going "the actual fuck? no" and just dipping. Nothing will ever top that

[n0eyed-taissa]

I know her ass was constantly getting carded for fouling the other team’s offence

[n0eyed-taissa]

Laura Lee holding Lottie's hands when her prayers don't work during the crash. Lottie never really believing in anything but Laura Lee. Oh, they were each other's god.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and what else has Lottie Matthews ever hoped for aside from the ability to trust herself? An ability that seemed impossible but was given to her by Laura Lee. After all, it was never the wilderness that chose Lottie to be a prophet, it was Laura Lee.

[n0eyed-taissa]

im gonna pass out

[n0eyed-taissa]

do ya’ll think travis ever had to wear crop tops n booty shorts when the lesbians took all his boy clothes from the community pile

if there weren’t already two pairs of khaki pants, they’d fight over the one like siblings

[n0eyed-taissa]

throwing up. crying. throwing up again.

[n0eyed-taissa]

not me going galaxy brained over shauna putting the heart necklace on people who are marked for death (jackie indirectly & then the hunts- natalie and mari), but that's not the only meaning of the heart necklace.

jackie gave it to shauna for safety, as a gesture of love, on the plane. nat wore it throughout s3 as leader. ben continued to wear it while they coveted him as the bridge. (could even argue that during the hunt, it's a show of good luck to the person being chased, but shauna doesn't get it.)

it doesn't mean what you thought it meant. 🚬

[n0eyed-taissa]

don’t even wanna think about how devastated travis must be that he played a role in mari’s death… he couldn’t even go through with the hunt yet still has blood on his hands