n7soldiered - Tumblr blog

[n7soldiered]

i don’t wanna do anything rash or stupid like deleting john or even archiving him unexpectedly but yo, i gotta say, things’ve been p awful irl and i already feel like i have no control over my life.  rp is my hobby and my way of kicking back, but it seems drama has returned to bite john’s ass even tho i was so sure i’d buried all that months ago, when a few of the problem(s) legit left the rpc.

now, i’m not known for drama.  never have been.  don’t post that shit and don’t care for it, either.  even when it’s in the midst of blowing up in my face, i’m quiet.  i don’t like sharing on the dash, and i especially don’t like complaining.  i’m not a fuckin’ child who vague posts or gossips.  i’d pushed through shit and remained active even when i knew certain people couldn’t keep their eyes off john.  i kept going despite feeling uncomfortable, continued creating headcanons and graphics while doing my best to keep up with threads and irl.  nowadays, i don’t post anything anymore, because i don’t see the point if i’m not happy here.

i’m tired of putting this off and i’m tired of putting john off.  i love him too much to neglect him like this for any longer.  so, i’m going on semi ( indefinite ) hiatus ( i’m always logged in so ) until i figure out how to handle his domain.  tbh, i might go under a different url or maybe reboot.  idk yet.  over the next couple of weeks or until my irl shit works itself out, i’ll be cleaning out this blog and soft-blocking anyone who hasn’t expressed much interest in writing with me.  if you try following back, i’ll hard-block you.  no offense, but my unfollow will not have been an accident.  i want my circle smaller.  i just want some control back.  i want john back.

this might sound extreme or surprising to you all, but like i said, i don’t talk shit and i don’t post about drama w other users.  i’m an extremely private person.  when i looked at the calendar and saw that john has been plagued with this fucking drama for 7½ months out of the 8 months that i’ve had him, i realized that i’ve been an utter fool.  i’ve been much too naive and kind and tolerant.  i will not allow others to continue stepping all over me ‘n john.   i am done.

until then, adios. if you still wanna see me on the dash, DM me for the url.

[n7soldiered]

so who else is fuckin' hyped for cyber/punk 2077.

[n7soldiered]

john, every time he returns from another mission and wants to see his L.I:

[n7soldiered]

I am calm. I am calm. It is the calm before something awful.

Sylvia Plath | @thequotejournals (via thequotejournals)

[n7soldiered]

how many blogs do you have

too many

[n7soldiered]

@rcvan​

  "I'm jealous," Revan teased with a fake pout, "most biotics need extensive training to use their abilities. You, on the other hand, can do it without thought-- so much without thought even that you almost blow up the ship!" Once he'd gotten over the shock that Shepard somehow magically gained biotics after dying, it was pretty entertaining watching the Commander accidentally wreck a room by making wide gestures.

                     ❝I DIDN’T EXACTLY ASK FOR THIS.❞   not that he was really complaining, either.  at least, not anymore.  the second he awoke from a two year coma and discovered he now had cybernetics installed inside his body, among other things, shepard had spent every spare moment bitching until the normandy’s paint peeled off the goddamned walls.  chambers had tried her best with weekly counseling, but when he swung an arm out just to grab a ration bar from the supply closet and somehow, ended up blasting the shelves off the frickin’ walls for the sixth time — well.  shepard liked to think he had plenty of reasons to keep stewing.  

hell, not even the illusive man could escape his continuous lectures about the IMPORTANCE OF GIVING CONSENT, how one should always consider the consequences.  especially, when and if one ever had to make life altering decisions for other people.  mission debriefings be damned, the illusive man could take that cigar and shove it up his ass for all he cared.  shepard wouldn’t stay silent, and he hadn’t — and sure, there was also the whole  ‘but shepard, the illusive man saved your life’ thing;  shepard was about as reluctantly grateful for that as he was openly hostile about it.  could you blame him?

it had been a shock, to say the least, and although it’d been months since making his narrow escape from that cerberus facility and receiving the proper training he’d desperately needed, shepard still couldn’t say he was used to it.  his ... biotics, the fact he could crush a man’s rib cage with just the slightest tilt of one hand...  but he wasn’t about to bring that up.  he’d complained relentlessly for the first few weeks, bitched enough to last two lifetimes—considering, he’d have these abilities until the day he died, enough that even he grew weary of hearing his usual litany of muttered curses as he cleaned up yet another mess his biotics made...

                ❝why would you be jealous of someone who can’t even control their biotics, anyway?  i’ve been training for months and look where it’s gotten me.❞  shepard said in an even tone of voice, ever the pragmatic.  ❝i’m a hazard, rev, not a prodigy.❞

[n7soldiered]

ｊａｎｅ

with a long, drawn-out huff jane rocked back on her heels shoulders slumping to her sides as she gazed ahead with unabashed disinterest. She always did hate his commando voice…you know the one… right, the one he put on when he was giving some awe-inspiring speech, talking to a reporter, or accepting some new fantastical award. she didn’t have one of those, and that’s the way she liked it. jane’s voice was crisp with being whatever she was, she supposed it did change an octave when she was staring into the eyes of the enemy though. it was just so jane to spout a daunting one-liner seconds before headbutting a merc into unconsciousness. jane’s steely-eyed gaze locked on the children was empty in truth because she didn’t really want to be there. she’d only sort of agreed…also partly volun-told to be here. but…she wasn’t one to complain, stubbornly refuse to cooperate? perhaps…but whining and complaining weren’t worth her time. ’great, now I’m even starting to sound like a drill sergeant’ jane thought, casting a disapproving accusatory glare at the back of johns close-shaved head.

she should’a known it would be exactly like this…taking her back to her days in N school. way back when she wasn’t good enough to break the rules and she was tough there was only ever one way of doing anything: the alliance way. whatever fits under their pretty little regulations. some people were okay with that…and her brother had been one of them. hell, had things changed since then…she didn’t want to go into that now. green eyes cloudy below the surface with intense though looked ahead coldly and unamused, staring through the recruits and off at god-knows-what. she blinked back to the present as her brother addressed her, then jerked her chin in a nod of acknowledgment at the very least. her attention floated away once again however once her brother went back to droning on and sounding more uniform than EDI, an actual robot. better him than her.

her face remained angled forward, but she watched her brother out of the corner of her eyes while he sized them up. she didn’t bother because she knew the alliance would have conditioned any impertinence out of them by now, whether it was for better or worse.

jane had stood with her arms folded squarely across her chest this whole time, biting her tongue. she had plenty a’ thoughts, she thought that she’d better be sir, and he’d better be ma’am respectively. she wondered why they were training N1′s anyway, they could’ve put them up a little higher on the totem pole.

and then there it was. the big ol ‘cross a line and you can’t go back’ thing. she supposed she could give John the benefit of the doubt and say he made it sound good, but rather she’d smirk at the memory of herself being the wiseass who answered that with a ‘well, technically you can if its just a line… it’s not that hard’ or something equally insufferable.

she had been good up until her brother took on that awful tone and stance, she became immediately aware of her cheeks flushing red against her pale freckled face when she tried and failed to hold in a snicker.

she pressed her lips into a tight line and composed herself, shaking her head at her outburst, but nodded in answer to her brother’s question. she took half a step forward, an half serious. she knew the looks that would be waiting for her on the other side of such famous last words but that could hardly stop her.

❝i am now accepting bets on who you think is going to puke first.❞

jane quipped brazenly, shifting her weight into one hip as it jutted out to the side to complete her poor attitude.

she looked in feigned innocence at her brother…

❝what??❞

it seemed like he expected her to correct herself…so she did.

❝right, we‘re accepting bets.❞ and she couldn’t help but grin at that one.

              THE SECOND JANE OPENED HER MOUTH   and words began spilling from her lips, john almost threw his head back to stare heavenward and ask why.  why did he have to ask that?  why couldn’t he have just done the talking for now?  after all these years of knowing jane, it seemed he hadn’t learned a damned thing.  but didn’t she understand that this was a serious training course for future N7 commandos, complete with life-or-death scenarios that shouldn’t—couldn’t be taken lightly, and especially, when future lives could be at stake?  john could hear the blood pounding in his ears when the redhead concluded her statement, sounding like she was at ease with her blatant breach of protocol—not that her flippant demeanor wasn’t at all an uncommon display.  he had learned long ago that jane was just like that;  regardless of her audience, she spoke to these dedicated men and women the same as she spoke to the bloody citadel council.

shepard took a moment to thank his lucky stars anderson wasn’t standing in for this orientation.  although the admiral might never admit the fact, he was intensely sentimental of the program, as he was one of the first ever N7 graduates.  he understood anderson’s deep, nostalgic pride and the desire to see the academy thrive under the meticulous instruction of his two finest soldiers within the alliance ranks…  but now, he could only think of the look on his father’s face, as jane smeared his legacy with a few careless words meant to make light of the mood:  pinched, with one thick brow hiked up so high, it touched his hairline;  anderson’s expression would speak volumes to him, like always, and john, helpless to such a galvanizing emotion bearing down on him, would have to biotically charge at jane before she could do more stupid shit.  or something.  maybe not a biotic charge, since john had a hunch his father wouldn’t approve of that, either.  a full-body tackle?  hm.  alright, so, maybe his imagination went a bit astray there, but he could hardly bring himself to think twice about it when he knew jane was well aware of her actions.

only sheer willpower held john’s tongue in his mouth, checking himself from interrupting, snapping at her to stop it already.  arms crossed over his chest, his lips flattened into a thin line before the storm-blue gaze flicked to the rows of soldiers, and to john’s utter surprise, they… were grinning — not all of them, but more than a few recruits donned a simper or a smirk.  buncha shit-eating grins, if john had any opinions to bear.

        ...oh.  oh, god.  why.  his look of utter bewilderment quickly shifted to exasperation and he blew out an imperceptible sigh.  great.   ❝no, we are not accepting—❞

               ❝50 creds says kerruso’s gonna hurl five hours in,❞  came the voice of a confident high roller, one that he couldn’t pin amid the vast lineup of supposedly battle-hardened soldiers.  ❝fuck that!  200 says harper’s gonna hurl in two.❞  although the immediate cry of offense was of no surprise to him, the sudden uproar, however, nearly bowled him over.

            rule one: never lose your military bearing — your commanding officer won’t.

john’s sharp bark boomed throughout the hanger, silencing them all at once.  a few scrambled back in line.  was this jane’s effect on people?  ❝are we friends now?❞  john snapped, marching over to the first row, metal boots slamming the decks with such vigor, the dead silence seemed all the more deafening.  he thought the alliance sent them the best of the best—or had someone fucked up and sent them cadets as green as grass?

shepard’s scowl deepened, disappointment pulling down the corners of his mouth.  ❝here, your current military rank is inapplicable, irrelevant.  here, under my instruction, you’re back to square one.  we aren’t friends.  now, get down and grab some real estate, privates!❞  to john’s minor relief, they hit the deck in a heartbeat and stayed wordless as they powered through their punishment.

❝jane.❞  when her bright green gaze met his, he quirked an eyebrow, half-smiling down at her.  despite everything, john wasn’t angry with her, only curious.  ❝this isn’t good-cop, bad-cop, you know.❞

[n7soldiered]

    ❝they've been to HELL and back for each other ,             and i think they'd both be willing to take a SECOND travel if they had to.❞

               //  15  /   ??

[n7soldiered]

i know exactly zilch about mass effect and mr John Shepherd, but from an outsider's standpoint, you are an absolute delight on the dash with your portrayal! the detail and elaboration on his thoughts, feelings, and the general atmosphere around him is always fun to read, and even not knowing much, i feel like i am given an inside look every time you post. it's fun to see how you bring in NPCs to flesh out his world and add to his character, and it's an all around 10/10 experience on the dash.

i know i didn’t state this in my tags, but i normally don’t ever post the asks i receive because i’m someone who genuinely enjoys keepsakes ( i seriously keep them forever ), but i just about melted reading this because i almost can’t believe you’ve bothered reading my content when you don’t even know about the franchise??  the general world of mass effect??  SLKDF

thank you so, so much for this ask, wow.  i don’t even know how to express my sincere appreciation, because not only did you follow shepard, a muse you know zilch about, but you’ve actually stuck around, too??  …w0w  aaaaa  i’m sorry i’m just so stunned by this!  again, thank you so much!!  :’)    @agonybow

[n7soldiered]

cerberus grunt:  is this the part where you say if i hurt her, you’ll kill me? john, indifferent:  no.  if you hurt my sister, she’s perfectly capable of killing you herself.

[n7soldiered]

tell me your honest opinion of my portrayal

[n7soldiered]

“The floor is lava!!”

                     ❝ NO, THE FLOOR IS NOT LAVA , ❞   john shepard corrected patiently before he sent his sister a chiding look, one that said:  please stop fucking around already.  ❝as i was saying, welcome to the interplanetary combatives academy, a.k.a I.C.T or N-school, where your courses don’t consist of training grounds filled with lava.❞  the man ignored the rather indignant noise that burst from under jane’s breath.  ❝i’m commander shepard, and this,❞  he gestured to the redhead standing at his side,  ❝is also commander shepard.  —  no, we aren’t married.  we’re twins, so don’t try it.❞  as expected, there wasn’t a peep from the lines of soldiers standing at attention.  shepard nodded.  good to know they weren’t handed dumbass recruits to train.  or worse, a bunch of wiseasses who thought they could step out of line just because they were given this honor.

❝we will be your instructors for the entirety of your N1 training.  to differentiate between us, you may address us as sir or ma’am respectively.  if you need to get specific, address me as commander anderson.  am i understood?❞   john pushed on as they dropped their salutes.  ❝i’ll make this simple.  for the next six months, your training will consist of scenarios personally experienced by me, commander jane shepard, and the elite units of most land-based armies.  starting tomorrow, you’ll be clocking in 20 or more hours a day.  note that those hours may differ according to performance.  how well you do out on the field will determine how long you stay here.  if you aren’t up for the challenge, i suggest you leave now, while you still can.  i can’t drag your ass back to your comfort zone once you’ve crossed this point.❞

the spectre waited, but only hardened expressions stared back at him.  lacing his fingers behind his back, john spread his legs and stood at attention, his voice booming now, echoing in spades in the hanger.  ❝mission types will vary from leading small units into combat over hostile terrain with little sleep or food to defusing cobalt-salted micro-nukes.  trainees who do well are awarded an internal designation of N1 and will be invited to return for N2 courses.  those who return to school will focus on their combat class.  have i made myself clear?❞

the immediate salutes and resounding ‘yes, sir’ was answer enough.  john stepped back, his gaze veering to his sister.  ❝anything you want to add?❞

@littleredrenegade​​

[n7soldiered]

                                OPEN.

      AFTER A MOMENT’S HESITATION ,   curiosity claimed shepard’s brow.  ❝my past?❞  he echoed, taking the bait and turning a small, curious smile toward them.   ❝people have said a lot of things about me.  you’re going to have to be more specific.❞  for the most part, newscast’s published accounts featured only their moderate success at obtaining the entire story.  however, such reports hadn’t been entirely far off from the truth, either.

commander shepard of the alliance:  N7, captain of the normandy SR-1, the ship of legends;  hero of the skyllian blitz;  savior of the citadel;  the first human spectre;  the soldier who had DIED, and returned from the dead ...             shepard had figured long ago, that perhaps, to the average civilian, his increasing ledger of ‘achievements’ helped lend a certain impression.   ❛BREAKING NEWS: COMMANDER JOHN ANDERSON SHEPARD IS A STARK RAVING LUNATIC❜.   and yet, if any stuck around long enough to exchange two words with him, they might discover shepard was just like any other man.

❝i’m fine with answering any questions you have.  just know that i probably can’t answer all of them.❞  john shrugged.  ❝classified — for your safety, not mine.❞

some of the persistent chatter about his efforts to cure the genophage had recently filtered back to him, but the famed commander wasn’t one to bother with discouraging passing rumors.  the raised awareness simply provided him reason to bolster a firmer line of defense against well-meaning concern and intrusive rumor alike if—or when—mordin’s research ever came to completion … one more story, budding to bear juicy fruit.

[n7soldiered]

littleredrenegade‌:

Attention dash!!!

Vin deserves a star from the sky. He is one of the most genuine people I know and he is incredibly passionate and loyal. He truly inspires me, and everyday I talk to him I get closer and closer to coming back to this account. The work he has done on john is unbelievable, and his content will always stand out as unique to him no matter what. Not to mention, Jane just freaking loves her brother with her whole heart, okay!?!? (Just don’t tell her I told you that or she’ll kick my ass). You should obviously go follow @n7soldiered if your still reading this and you aren’t already. Thank you and that is all for now, carry on and have a lovely week.

[n7soldiered]

i have a 3 day weekend coming up.  just gotta get through today, and we’ll be good to go!

[n7soldiered]

Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you'll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you'll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?

                   ❝i suggest you try taking a breath before speaking.❞

[n7soldiered]