nabiws

[nabiws]

wsbomin​:

Having been relentlessly bullied for as long as he can remember, Bomin has sadly become used to dealing with wrathful fire when it comes to interactions with others. Sure, over the last few years, it hasn’t been too much of an issue since he’s been lucky enough to find people with common interests, ones that he can lean on, but throughout his life, his peers have consistently chosen him to be their coveted punching bag. Hell, even a couple of his close friends have told him that they, too, find him to be pretty ❛ bully-able ❜ because it’s fun to see how he reacts to harsh words, playful jabs, and roughhousing. It’s something that he’s not ever been able to escape or evade, much to his chagrin. Though, the one silver lining to all of this is that these experiences have given him a thicker skin — one that still gets easily scraped and punctured occasionally depending on the severity of the taunting, but it’s far stronger than it was when he was a kid. For that, he’s thankful. However, there’s something specifically jarring about the way that Subin is coming at him. It makes him feel really, really low, and though he tries to take it in stride, the expressions coloring his face are making his feelings quite 𝐎𝐁𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒, and he wonders if his senior is able to pick up on that. Maybe that’s what’s making this worse.

Swallowing nervously, he listens to the berating words that are thrown at him and frowns; his mood and excitement for seeing Sunghoon completely obliterated. ❝ I’m sorry — I really don’t mean to be a bother… ❞ He offers, raising his hands in the air as if they are white flags begging for a truce. ❝ I don’t think what you’re saying about Sunghoon is true… and I don’t know why you’re being so mean to me when I haven’t done anything to you… ❞ Bomin hates that he’s getting so emotionally flooded in this moment since he knows that, if he remained strong and didn’t allow these comments to burn him, he wouldn’t add anymore fuel to the fire. A lump begins to form in his throat, but he ignores it; crossing his arms over his chest in insecurity. He’s afraid of saying anything off-color to his senior as he doesn’t want to seem disrespectful, even if he, himself, is on the receiving end of such 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒 treatment. ❝ How does offering to help you clean make me desperate ? I just don’t want to be rude since I’m taking up space here. Is that not enough to convince you that I’m genuinely not here just to make your day worse ? ❞ Bomin counters, his tone high-pitched and nervous.

He doesn’t know why he follows the older of them into his bedroom, but he does — a little too afraid to leave now that his ❛ services ❜ have been accepted. What’s he gotten himself into ? He has no idea, but he hopes that by being a good sport, he can turn their dynamic into one that’s more friendly instead of entirely malicious. When he’s met with the state of Subin’s side of the room, though, he’s not exactly surprised that it’s so messy, but he does wonder how anyone could feel comfortable living in such a 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂 environment. ❝ Aren’t you going to stay in here and help me, or are you just making me clean your room for you ? I don’t think that’s very fair if that’s your plan… ❞ Bomin can’t help but wonder if his queries will only continue to infuriate his senior or not, but he doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. 

  subin, who was probably born just to be lazy, really picked the wrong profession for someone who hated doing even the bare minimum of tasks. while he had mastered the art of appearing to be energetic and upbeat, especially onstage, it was very rare that he had the energy or willpower to do much of anything when he was behind closed doors. so, while putting on pants was the socially acceptable thing to do in the current situation, his disdain for bending over to pick up a wrinkled pair from the floor was winning. nudging at a pair with his bare foot, and then attempting to pick it up with his toes, he isn’t exactly aware that his actions were odd. and even if someone had pointed them out at such, then he’d be ready to go on a tirade about how he didn’t have to act a certain way to impress them. the funny thing was, that if he were on the outside looking in at his own life, then he’d realize how foolish his actions were. but with his pride blinding him, there was nothing stopping him from acting the way that he did.

  despite the fact that he knew nothing about you, subin hadn’t expected you to react the way that you did. he figured that you’d be more the type to laugh off the insults and still try to become his friend. at least that scenario sounded a lot more entertaining than having to put up with your whining. he rolls his eyes, looking away from the floor to meet your gaze. “what makes you think that i’m being mean to you?” he raises his eyebrows before tilting his head to the side. playing clueless was a natural talent of his that he had mastered during his high school years. not that any of his teachers ever believed the innocent act when it was coming from him. if a fellow student came to them bruised and bloodied, then subin was always the first suspect. “last time i checked, you’re the one who made themselves at home where they don’t belong. since you’re obviously so comfortable here, i figured that we don’t have to speak formally to each other.” he blinks slowly, speaking calmly. but there was no sincerity behind his words. “and since we’re just so close, i should be honest with you, right? i should let you know that you should learn some manners before walking into a place that you don’t belong.”

  he’d normally find this all to be so exciting. putting people in their place was, after all, his favorite thing to do. but there was something about your constant rebuttals that was only making his mood sour even more. he’d rather you nod along with everything that he said, and just admit that you were a worthless little pain in the neck. rolling his eyes, he continues to face you so that you could see his expression of annoyance. “yeah, actually, it’s not enough to convince me of anything. because if you were even half-normal, then you’d probably clue into the fact that there’s nothing here for you. but you’re apparently so desperate for company, that it doesn’t even bother you.” he backs up until he’s able to sit on the edge of his bed. he has to squirm up a bit to find a spot that isn’t covered in some kind of debris. “oh, and you’ve already made my day worse.” he puts on a sarcastic smile for only a moment before it disappears and he falls back onto the unkept bed.

  “you’re talking about me like i’m some kind of monster.” he scoffs, now murmuring his words. “do you know anyone else who’d let an annoying stranger into their room? and i’m even letting you move all my stuff around. c’mon, i’m doing this out of the good of my heart since you don’t have any friends to spend this time with.” he juts out his lower lip, his pout meant to be a mocking feature paired perfectly with his harsh words. “the world isn’t fair? if it was, do you really think that you’d still be a pathetic trainee?”

[nabiws]

NABI !

D.D.D  ( single ) Dance Dance Dance 06.23.22

[nabiws]

wsdohee​:

honestly, it was a surprise to learn that nabi had genuine fans. she thinks if his fans had a look at what he was really like behind the scenes, they’d drop him so fast. she wouldn’t want to be a fan of such a conceited, rude idol. she finds it funny that he seems to be blaming her for the negative atmosphere in the room when he’s the one that started it all. taking a deep breath, she contemplated for a moment if she should be the bigger person—like she always had to be when it came to subin—but then she didn’t want to see that grim smirk on his face. the last thing she wants is to think he’s winning. 

“and does your manager know you’re a total dick?” her brows are furrowed together in absolute disgust as she takes a look at his face. she thinks she should add in a fake gag for laughs, but she decides against it. “makes me wonder how many blue.m managers already gave up because of your attitude,” she says with a scoff before making her move inside the practice room. they were still stuck here for a while with the assignment given to them by their respective companies. dohee was still a professional, and she was hoping subin could suck it up for their careers. 

rolling her eyes at his comments, she drops her training bag onto one of the training room sofas before walking straight up to him, getting only inches away from his face. “you wish,” she whispers before eliciting a light chuckle. “would be pretty believable though because there’s no way a pretty girl like me would want to be in your presence for more than a second.”

  being a famous idol was something that subin had dreamt of for some many years while preparing as a trainee. while he had a fair amount of natural talent, that isn’t why he decided to train for so many years. money and fame were all that he was after. he wanted to prove to his mother that he could become something. and while he was getting closer to achieving his goal, breaking his many negative habits hadn’t come so easily. although he was willing to put in the work to appear to be an idol who was extremely professional and proper in front of the cameras, it was when he was left to his own devices that the real subin started to show. 

  he was so used to getting away with his antics, that your opposition annoyed him. “my manager doesn’t know anything that he doesn’t need to.” he replies matter-of-factly, although somewhat cryptically. “as far as he’s concerned, i’m a perfect little angel. you’re the only one who doesn’t seem to think so.” while he feigns being serious, there was an obvious tint of sarcasm in his voice. in subin’s mind, there was no reason for you to dislike him so much. what had he ever done to you? he figured that you just had a crush on him and were too flustered to act normal in his presence.

 he follows behind you, stopping a few steps short before carelessly dropping his backpack onto the floor. why had his manager insisted that he bring it? it wasn’t like he actually packed anything for his time with you. a pack of cigarettes and his cellphone were the only items that subin remembered throwing inside. he narrows his eyes as you approach him, scrunching up his nose afterwards. with a blank expression, he stares at you in silence for a few seconds before slowly raising his hand and reaching out to poke you in the middle of your forehead. “you shouldn’t frown so much. you’ll get wrinkles.”

[nabiws]

wshayan​:

subin clearing his throat caused angel to look away from his phone again, returning his attention to the other for a moment. he noted the redness of his face, causing him to raise a questioning eyebrow but choosing to not point it out with words — mostly because he couldn’t remember the korean word for ‘blush’ all of a sudden.

with a roll of his eyes, angel’s attention returned to his phone, though it wasn’t as entertaining as it was mere seconds ago. “who cares? they’re pretty.” though he only knew a part of phoenix’s discography from being a back up dancer for them, he figured the comment would get under subin’s skin, with how he spoke of the other group. “you both come off as try-hards; i figured it was just a yuseong thing.”

at the other’s question, angel couldn’t help but let out a laugh. usually, the question of what he wanted from somehow would be warranted but with danny, angel had no intentions — not that subin knew that, of course.

“attention.” he answered easily, shrugging as he finally gave up on his phone and let it slip out of his grasp and onto his lap. “i’m like tinkerbell — i’ll die without attention.” he smiled, leaning against the side of the couch to get a better look at the blue.m member. “and we were from the same company before he joined yuseong.”

  what emotion was he supposed to be feeling right now? his mind instantly went to anger or irritation. those were usually the feelings that came naturally, at least. but something about this encounter was different. there was something about you that gave subin the feeling that he didn’t have the upper hand for once. was it the realization that he clearly wasn’t the wittiest guy in the room? whatever it was, it made him feel inferior.

  that’s when the nerves came in. slightly swaying back and forth in place, he brings a hand up to his mouth and starts to chew on his nails. it was an old habit that his mother always criticized him for. he had finally managed to stop only when she had resorted to slapping the back of his head whenever he gave in. as if the regular consequence was somehow a possible threat, he swiftly returns his arm back down to his side and instead shoves his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. 

“pretty?” he raises his eyebrows and scoffs loudly. there was only one member of phoenix that he could picture right away, and pretty was the last word that subin would use to describe him. “did you accidentally wander in here, or something? i mean, your eyes must be pretty damaged if you think that they’re pretty, so i wouldn’t be surprised if you got lost. should i call someone to come pick you up?”

  maybe his initial impression of you had been overly dramatic. you were starting to come off as delusional rather than superior. then again, anyone who thought differently than him was instantly written off as weird to subin. “so, what you’re really saying is that you’re desperate. nobody else will give you any attention, so you have to hang out with an annoying guy like danny.” he clicks his tongue, giving his head a single shake. “man, here i was thinking that you were all that. but you’re just spending all your time following some little kid around.”

[nabiws]

       na subin — class of 2016

  when he first entered high school, he was the quiet and goofy looking kid who kept to himself. but going home each day to a dysfunctional home caused him to break. since he couldn’t be in control at home, he’d demand it at school. his classmates began to fear him and it made him feel powerful. as soon as he entered the school grounds, he wasn’t the pathetic and puny kid that his mother always told him he was. he was someone to be feared.

[nabiws]

wsdohee​:​

despite what many people think of her, dohee’s not actually on a mission to have everybody in the industry love her. what people within the industry think of her doesn’t matter to her. at least not as much as how the public or her fans perceive her. it’s not like fellow idols or staff members are the ones buying or streaming her music. 

nevertheless, she does her best to keep up a respectful and polite image because she knows that’s what kills an artist at the end of the day. while she needs her own time to recharge and everything, she still pushes herself to be kind to those around her. or as much as she can manage. but her buttons have been getting pushed by a certain blue.m member who seems to have a vendetta against or something. doesn’t help that their respective companies seemed to have some kind of agreement in getting them to continuously work together. 

when she walks into the yuseong practice room, she’s not at all surprised to hear his cold words. wouldn’t be the first time. as she put down her personal bag, she rolled her eyes, trying her best to not let her get to her mood. not when they would have to be working together. “did someone piss in your coffee this morning? what’s up with your attitude,” she fights back nevertheless. someone not liking her is one thing, but subin seems to have some kind of problem when it comes to conversation. he can’t rally a simple hello or good morning. “if you want to leave so badly, nobody’s stopping you.” false. their respective companies are stopping them, but she’s not about to walk out of a room she just stepped into. if he has such a problem, he can move.

  maybe it was because he was forced to be around you so often that caused subin to so outwardly dislike you. it probably wasn’t much of a secret that he didn’t like to be told what to do, even when it was by his own company. so whenever someone had suggested that the two of them work together, he had faked a smile while dreading the next time that he’d have to see you again. he’d like to think that if their first couple of interactions have been more relaxed and casual, then he’d be able to get along with you just fine. of course, that was completely delusional. he’d find another reason to hate you just as much. 

  already convinced that you had been the aggressor in this situation, he lets out a loud and humorless laugh. giving you a weird look, he looks you over a couple of times. “my attitude? what’re you talking about? everything was cool until you came barging in here with your rude words. does your manager know that you use that kind of language?” 

  it seemed unlikely that a member of a popular girl group would get away with swearing in such a professional setting. maybe he’d have to make some kind of formal complaint. that’d get you to treat him better, wouldn’t it? he raises a hand and places it on his chest before tilting his head to the side. “are you making it your personal mission to break my heart, dohee? is that why you came here today? you’re just so cruel. should we write a song about you breaking my heart and perform it onstage together? i know that you’d just love to get in a dating scandal with me.”

[nabiws]

wselliot​:

♡closed starter for @nabiws.♡

at his very core, elliot was nothing more than an excited little puppy dog of a child. he was the type of person who managed to find joy in very single situation, no matter what. in his mind, it was great. who could hate someone for being happy? he didn’t even notice the answer when it was sitting right across from him. na subin. , if you were to ask el, him and subin were best friends, obviously. they lived together, worked together, they did everything together. that meant that they were bffs! unfortunately for nabi, that was the side effect of elliot’s obliviousness. wandering into subin and minho’s shared room, elliot was very quick to make himself at home. after all, it technically was a part of his home, wasn’t it? curling up on the beanbag shaped object that was subin’s pile of unwashed laundry. he let out a dramatically loud groan, stretching himself out on the lumpy object. he was sure that he was interrupting something, given the strange look on subin’s face, but that hardly put a damper into elliot’s plans. “binnie.” he whined, pouting in the direction of the other boy. “will you watch a movie with me? i’ll buy us snacks to go with it.”

oh, god. why did your presence always feel unannounced? even when you hadn’t just burst into his room without any notice, there was some sort of unsettling and chaotic aura that seemed to always follow you around. whatever it was, subin wasn’t a fan. maybe that was why he tried to avoid you whenever possible. what was he afraid of? he wasn’t entirely sure, but the constant uncertainty of you next move made him feel uneasy. so when decided to make yourself comfortable on a pile of his sweaty and soiled clothes, subin couldn’t help but swear under his breath.

  didn’t you have other people that you could be bothering right now? danny seemed like the prime candidate for that. subin would never complain about having two annoying people out of his hair for the day. he continued to stare at you with a blank expression, hoping that if he didn’t give you enough attention, then maybe you’d move onto your next target. “i’m pretty sure that we don’t like the same kind of movies, you know. so the whole thing kind of sounds like an inconvenience, don’t you think?”

  if there was a god, like the one that they talked about in church whenever his mother forced him to go as a child, then you’d agree with his point and leave him alone for the rest of the day. “besides, didn’t you know that han was looking for you?” he looks back to his phone, kicking another few dirty articles of clothing off the bed and onto you. “yeah, he said that he was waiting for you to show up in one of the practice rooms. you should probably go deal with that.”

[nabiws]

wsbomin​:​

It was 𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑 to be alone in a dorm that didn’t belong to him — much less one where he wasn’t super familiar with any of the members save for one or two — and yet here Bomin was: awkwardly taking up space on the couch in the shared living area of Blue.m’s living quarters, his curious eyes noticing the differences between this apartment’s design, and the one that he and the other trainees from Angelfish Entertainment live in. Honestly speaking, while they didn’t look incredibly similar as far as layout was concerned, they had a very familiar vibe to one another — causing him to feel a bit more ❛ at home ❜ despite the circumstances. He didn’t think that he would be left to his own devices as he waited for Sunghoon to get back from his schedules. It seemed like a good idea to wait for him here, but now that he’s been sitting idly for around thirty minutes, he’s starting to feel antsy; almost as though he’s intruding or overstaying his welcome. Maybe he should just come back later and grab a bite to eat in the meantime ? Honestly, that seemed like a solid plan, and as he stands up to show himself out, he turns his head and catches sight of the collective’s multi-talented Na Subin, otherwise known as Nabi, carrying laundry in his arms, and dressed in nothing but his underwear, and it causes the younger of them to freeze.

A blush of deep scarlet paints over his cheeks, his heartbeat escalates, and he doesn’t know what to do. While he knows that it might be best to flee the area to prevent any awkward encounters, it’s difficult when he feels like his shoes are glued to the floor beneath him, and before he can actually act on his instincts, his senior absentmindedly wanders into the living room in his current state, and when the two of them meet eyes, Bomin’s pupils both dilate, and immediately fall to the floor — not wanting to appear rude by staring at Subin’s 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 musculature.

❝ Uh — I’m sorry, I guess I didn’t think that anyone else was here… ❞ He answers, not really a great start to explaining his presence. Glancing up slightly, he reconnects their eye contact — not wanting to talk to him while staring at the ground. ❝ I’m, uh… I was told that I could wait in here for Sunghoon to get home; I didn’t mean to disturb you… especially if it’s laundry day ! ❞ He tries to lighten the tense mood that swathes them, but has no idea if his attempts will be futile or not. ❝ If you don’t want me around, I can always leave and try coming back later… or I can help you with your laundry if I’m allowed to stay and wait ? ❞ Bomin offers, his lips slowly pulling into a smile; hoping his response doesn’t perturb the older of them even further.

  if someone were to ask subin why he disliked you so much, the lack of a good reason would probably just make him hate you more. why did he have to be like everyone else and melt at your cute face or adorable antics? the both made him sick. nobody had any business being that endearing, and just looking at you almost made him sick to his stomach. and while that likely sounded like some sort of over exaggeration, it was exactly how subin felt. with the absence of most enjoyable emotions, it only made the negative ones that much more extreme. they acted as a sort of shield— keeping how he really felt hidden away from the rest of the world, and perhaps most importantly, from himself. so, of course he felt completely justified in his hatred towards you. how else was he supposed to feel?

  what was with his groupmates and inviting people over when they themselves weren’t even around? didn’t they realize that subin was almost always cooped up in their dorm? did they even stop to think about how he might want some time to himself? of course they didn’t. did they even remember that he was a member of blue.m at all? always jumping from one extreme to another, subin found himself getting even more frustrated with the current situation. the sound of your voice didn’t help either. he rolls his eyes before scoffing, glancing to the side. was he really hearing you right? unbelievable. now glaring, his eyes return to you. “oh. so if you didn’t think that anyone else was here, then why are you here? last time that i checked, there weren’t supposed to be any pathetic trainees living here.”

  his insults were certainly ironic, given the number of years that he was stuck as a trainee. but self-awareness wasn’t exactly one of his strong suits, and it worked to his advantage. or so he thought. he furrows his brows while looking you up and down. were you capable of doing anything that wasn’t obnoxious? well, he’d have to find out. 

  after staring at you for another moment, he clicks his tongue. “why are you so desperate to stay here? sunghoon’s probably not even gonna show up, you know. he’s probably hoping that you’ll give up and leave before he’s even done practicing.” he murmurs under his breath, unbothered by the fact that you might not be able to hear his harsh words. although part of him hopes that they were just loud enough to be understood. running his hand through his messy bedhead, he rolls his eyes again before turning around, ready to leave you behind without another word. if you were really able to be happy 24/7, then you’d be able to live with sitting alone until sunghoon eventually came back. 

  but maybe there was something that he could get out of this. letting out somewhat of a dry laugh, he raises an eyebrow before glancing over his shoulder at you. “you’re really offering to clean? holy shit, you really are desperate, aren’t you?” oh, the irony. shaking his head a few times, he starts to walk off in the direction of the room that he shared with minho. while the other’s side of the room was well-kept, subin’s was— well, the opposite. with dirty clothes strewn about floor and countless bowls of instant ramen scattered around, there wasn’t much room for anything else. reaching down to pick up a t-shirt, he raises it to his nose before shrugging. “why don’t you make yourself useful and do something about this?” he casually gestures to the littered area before sliding the dirty shirt on. now the search for a pair of shorts commenced. 

[nabiws]

subin expected the blue.m dormitory to be the one place where he didn’t have to worry about how he presented himself. after all, why would there be people there besides the other members? they could all handle seeing him at his worst. there wasn’t the need to put on a front like he did for the cameras whenever they were promoting. so on that day, like so many before it, subin was casually walking around the space in his boxers and nothing else. if han had a problem with it, then the older male would have to wash his dirty laundry because that chore wasn’t something that was high on subin’s to-do list.

  but he was feeling generous today, so without a second thought, he scoops up a pile of clothes from the floor of his room and casually walks them down the hallway before tossing them onto the bed of blue.m’s leader. there, now half of the job was already done. subin would be expecting a genuine word of thanks later on.

  but for now, there were other things to do. while staring down at his phone screen, he slowly makes his way into the kitchen. there were bound to be some leftovers in the fridge, and as long as they hadn’t grown any mold yet, then subin was ready to dig in. but something caught his eye. assuming that he had been alone this whole time, catching a glimpse of another person in the dorm caught him off guard and instantly soured his mood. there were only a few people that he’d be willing to welcome at this point, and it likely wasn’t whoever you were.

  dropping his arms down to his side, as if to personify his distaste and annoyance, he finally looks in your direction. oh. it was you. was one of your pastimes dropping in without notice? because subin certainly wouldn’t have invited you over. there was something about you— something that he couldn’t pinpoint— that drove him crazy. maybe it was the way that you were apparently incapable of feeling anything other than sheer happiness that made him want to claw his own eyes out. whatever it was, it didn’t make subin happy to see you.

  “why the hell are you here? does it really look like i’m in the mood to have guests?”

  @wsbomin​​

[nabiws]

haneulws​:​​

out of all the members of blue.m, subin was probably the one han was the least close to but that didn’t mean he wasn’t just as in tune with his moods as he was the rest of the members. subin was just … harder to approach, and the leader usually left him alone until the other approached him, which didn’t happen often.

he’d noticed subin’s mood souring over the past week, but had had no clue what to do to help the other, other than to continue to feed him and wash his clothes for him. he’d been more laxed with subin than he normally was, but it seemed like the other needed the space.

sitting on his bed, he frowned at the small thunk against his door. after a second, han shrugged and returned to his phone, but quickly put it back down as subin walked into the room. before he could even get a word in, subin managed to break han’s heart with just a simple question.

“i don’t know, binnie.” he answered softly, placing his phone on his bedside table and moving to the edge of his bed, motioning for subin to come sit next to him. “what’s going on, jagiya?”

  somehow subin could stomach his explosive emotions when they were fueled by anger and pessimism. it had become his normal state of being. but this shift that had suddenly taken over— the crippling sadness that had been keeping him from doing anything without feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders— he couldn’t take much more. there was a constant lump in his throat, as though he’d lose all control if someone were to even look at him the wrong way. he had become used to feeling worthless, but that concept had suddenly grown tenfold. 

  in his weakest moment, he wanted to call his mom. he wanted for her to tell him that everything was going to be okay. but who was he kidding? she’d call him every name that she could think of. he’d end up hanging up and throwing his phone across the room before tearing his hair out in frustration. all he wanted was to be loved. how broken was he that his own mother didn’t even care for him?

  although no tears had fallen, subin can’t help but sniffle. it was his attempt at fighting back the inevitable. he wanted to look you in the eyes, but he was afraid of the repercussions. maybe you’d end up laughing in his face. crossing his arms against his chest, clinging to himself tightly, he hangs his head in shame. he wanted to be whole. he was tired of being broken.

  keeping his silence, he drags his feet towards the bed, sitting down next to you a moment later. his eyes were burning. he wanted to say something. anything. that it was all some kind of cruel joke that you had fallen for. if only that were the case. he lowers his head to the side until it rests on your shoulder. 

  how was he supposed to answer that question? was he only upset about moonsik, or had that encounter only caused him to finally break down after years of keeping everything to himself? “i hate myself so much, han—” his voice cracks, his lips quivering. 

[nabiws]

blue.m's nabi wipes out during vlive!

this is why nabi doesn’t even try anymore. the one time that he decides to turn the camera on to talk with his fans, it instantly backfires on him. as soon as the livestream started, he tried to make it a worthwhile experience by dusting off the camera lens so that the fans had a clear view of their favorite idol. maybe it was his ego that hindered his view. nabi could’ve sworn that the chair was right behind him. apparently it wasn’t.

[nabiws]

wshayan​:​

angel didn’t often make his way to the blue.m dorm. as much as he loved danny and enjoyed sunghoon’s company, the open hostility that some of the other rookie group members had towards the trainee was enough to keep him away from the apartment as much as possible. occasionally though, he’d fall for danny’s whining and pleading, sucking up his distaste and finding himself in the slightly unfamiliar dorm.

with danny off in the shower, angel found himself curled up on the couch on his own, scrolling endlessly through his phone as he waited for the other to reappear. he didn’t expect the front door to open and for another member of blue.m to enter the space, one he was a lot less familiar with. 

navi? nagi? his brain uselessly tried to supply a name to the face, but came up short. he’d crossed paths with the other at least once or twice, but not enough for the two to have any type of rapport with each other. not that angel wanted one, especially with how he was addressed by the other.

yet. angel wanted to laugh, to make a comment that the ‘yet’ would probably never come, but he kept his mouth shut, simply returning his attention to his phone. “if i wanted to steal something valuable, i would’ve gone to phoenix’s dorm.” he replies with a scoff, practically willing his friend to reappear. “i’m waiting on danny, so you can go about … whatever it is you do.” 

  as he studied your face, subin became certain that you had enough visual power to defeat the entirety of blue.m. his mouth nearly fell open after getting a clear look at you. what was that sensation that he felt? his face was red and burning, causing him to hastily look away from you. he wasn’t sure if he should run back out the door that he had just walked through, or angerly demand that you leave and go be beautiful somewhere else. neither seemed like a viable option. he was at an impasse. 

  loudly clearing his throat, his attempt at making the awkward silence disappear, subin places his hands on his hips and looks just past you at the wall ahead. of course you were here because of danny. even when the younger boy wasn’t around, he still managed to find a way to get under subin’s skin. 

  “phoenix isn’t as popular as everyone makes them out to be. you know, some people consider them to be our competition, but i’m pretty sure that if you asked a room full of people, they’d say that they prefer our music.” it was a bold claim from someone who didn’t even consider the songs that his own group released to be real music. “phoenix just comes off as a bunch of try-hards, don’t you think?”

  was he rambling to keep the dorm from becoming deadly quiet, or had his brain been turned to mush simply by looking at you? subin didn’t even know the correct answer, and he probably didn’t want to. “you don’t seem like the type who’d want to hang out with danny. what’re you actually trying to get from him?”

[nabiws]

  subin barely understood any of his emotions anymore. half of the time he didn’t want to be alone, but as soon as anybody came close to him, he wanted to disappear. is that why he had become so volatile? after all, how was someone who couldn’t even get along with themselves expected to get along with others? there was a constant battle going on within himself, and no matter how hard he tried to overcome it, he was always on the losing side.

  but still, whenever there was a camera pointed at him, subin would smile brightly and joke around with his groupmates. he’d playfully tease them, allowing the audience to believe that they had the closest of relationships. and maybe some of the members even thought that too. but as soon as he didn’t have to be nabi anymore, the act was up. he became cold and distant. there was a general distaste for everything around him.

  so was it surprising that, as he sat in the main room of the blue.m dorm, doing nothing in particular, a negative aura hung over him? he sat frozen, staring at the television screen in front of him. but if someone were to ask subin what show was on, he’d be unable to answer. only when he heard the sound of footsteps getting louder did he bother to shift his glance. it was you.

   staring at you blankly, seemingly inconvenienced by your presence, he raises his eyebrows after another second. “what? if you’re here to tell me something, then you should probably open your mouth and spit it out.” that’s all their relationship really consisted of, it felt. you’d relay some sort of message to him and subin would have no issues with blatantly ignoring it. sometimes he’d pretend to be somewhat civil, but that was only when han was with them. otherwise, all bets were off. “did all that hair dye kill your brain cells, or something?”

  @sunghoonws​

[nabiws]

if spring is all about new beginnings, then why do i still feel like the old me?

                               everything around me is blooming but i’m wilting away—

[nabiws]

  torture. that’s what this whole thing felt like to subin. being dragged out of bed by his manager was bad enough, but being here with you— it was basically the word case scenario. there was nothing that he dreaded more than these uncomfortable encounters. was it obvious that he didn’t enjoy your company? probably. it wasn’t like he kept his thoughts to himself or even tried to hide the rolling of his eyes or sarcastic expressions. he couldn’t understand why the company was seemingly trying to push the two of them together. 

  but then again, why wouldn’t yuseong have them work together? their voices did complement one another, and it probably didn’t help that, when other people were around, subin acted like you were his best friend. he’d wrap an arm around your shoulder and pull you close, joking around with everyone nearby that you’d probably end up in a dating scandal with him one day. and this time was no different. meeting your gaze while walking into the practice room, he glances at his manager before offering you a warm smile and a quick wave. “ah, c’mon. you don’t have to follow me everywhere, you know. i made it, didn’t i?” he says to his manager, offering the older man a pat on the back. only when the man left the room did subin’s smile automatically disappear.

  letting out a long and agitated sigh, he looks back at you with a grimace. why did you have to show up? his day would’ve been a lot less painful if it weren’t for your presence. being near you almost made his skin crawl with annoyance. approaching you as slowly as possible, dragging his feet across the floor, he crosses his arms across his chest. “do you really want to be here? wouldn’t it be easier if one of us left?” he raises an eyebrow, gesturing towards the door behind him. the point of this lesson was to work together, a skill that subin clearly didn’t possess, and one that he wasn’t in a rush to improve upon. “don’t you have better things to do?”

@wsdohee​

[nabiws]

NABI OF BLUE.M COVERS 'SHOOT ME' BY META

  debuting had been his dream for so long, and despite the years of practice that he had endured as a trainee, he couldn’t figure out if it had all really been worth it. but what was the problem? wasn’t he living the kind of life that he wanted? getting to perform in front of thousands of fans and being relatively popular? sure. so why did he still feel so empty inside?

  maybe it was because he was scared of who he really was. so many secrets, so many repressed feelings that never saw the light of day. it was exhausting putting on a fake face whenever the cameras were on or whenever he was surrounded by his colleagues. the main vocal of the upbeat boy group wasn’t what he presented himself to be.

  instead of blooming and shining, he felt himself wilting away. there was a part of him that wanted to be true to himself. he wanted to follow his heart. but who would be by his side then? they’d all look down at him for being different. it would just be easier if he were like everyone else. to be able to enjoy those around him and handle whatever life threw at him. instead, there he was. singing songs about finding love and dancing through life.

  so was it any surprise that he had yet to enjoy one of the songs that blue.m released? it didn’t feel like real music to him. it wasn’t how real life worked. there were always more tears and heartache then there was being in love and smiling. that’s probably why shoot me had become one of his favorite songs. now that was a song he wouldn’t feel like a fake for performing.

  it gave him an excuse to run away for a day, and it ended up being the most alive he’d felt in months. he was finally able to use his skills and love for performing as an outlet for all the feelings that had been bottled up inside of him. for a while, he wasn’t nabi, but just subin.