naibselesbian - Tumblr blog

[naibselesbian]

Ship dynamic unlocked: Sadistic bitch from a weird family x Golden retriever who can kick ass

[naibselesbian]

[naibselesbian]

what if we kissed in the library

check more of my work on instagram // buy prints here

[naibselesbian]

Being gay can be so painful. There is no peace.

You can meet someone who swears up and down that they support you and then they'll call you a slur when they're mad at you or reference your sexuality in a demeaning way.

You can meet someone who swears up and down that they support you but that's only because you don't "act like other gays". You're not too feminine and catty. You're not a disgusting butch.

You can meet someone who swears up and down that they support you but actually they just fetishize you and let you hang around them to be a "gay bff" who says "yas queen" and knows all about fashion and will totally talk about boys with them. They don't see you as a person but as an accessory.

You can meet someone who says that they don't care if you're gay so long as you don't touch them or flirt with them. We're only fine so long as we're indistinguishable from a straight person. Only fine so long as our homosexuality is a footnote.

A Chinese woman was just jailed for ten years for writing a gay story. Let me repeat. This woman was not engaging in homosexual activity, she was arrested for writing about it. People hate us so fucking much that even us being in the pages of a novel is grounds for the author to be stripped of their freedom.

There are states where gay people will be put to death for their homosexuality.

In the United States, people who claim to support us are saying that we have a genital preference and we're genital obsessed freaks like that's NOT what we've been hearing for years. Like that's not what we've heard in conversion therapy. And they have the fucking audacity to call us the hateful ones.

The fact that "corrective rape" is a term and something that actually happens.

The fact that there are gay people who have fled their countries for the sole fact that it's terrifyingly homophobic and they're fearing for their lives.

It's just so hurtful and painful and tiring. I'm honestly so tired.

[naibselesbian]

Liberals will berate you for saying "lame" because it's a violent ableist slur and then turn around and call you queer

[naibselesbian]

comphet is probably the worst feeling EVERRR!!! I just want to be happy and okay with my sexuality without having to second guess myself and wonder if I still like guys just because I want attention from them and how i’ve always wanted a bf but never had one bc i was always overweight as a child and thought no one could ever love me bc the one time i had a crush on a guy he embarrassed me and made fun of my weight in front of the whole class.

[naibselesbian]

so if you have a crush on an unattainable woman, does it not count? do celebrity crushes on women not count? by your logic that’s fake attraction

Lmao it's entirely different because I have genuine attraction to women and not to men. But I literally don't have to explain my attraction to women to you, a stranger on the internet, for my sexuality to be valid lol.

Mind your own business next time? I know my sexuality and don't need you trying to invalidate me or trying to disprove my "logic"

[naibselesbian]

why do you identify as a lesbian if you’ve had serious physical attraction to famous men?

Comphet. attraction to famous and fictional men doesn't count as real attraction because they are completely unattainable. I identify as a lesbian because I am a lesbian, I'm physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to women and nblw but not men.

I'm also assuming you're asking cause you've seen my post about it but let me just tell you that was a while ago and my attraction has changed.

[naibselesbian]

growing up as a lesbian woc

the gold star lesbian discourse around comphet is really …. something

i just wanted to give my two cents as 2nd gen immigrant and woc. In my culture, and many of our families (mine being West Asian) being queer is genuinely not an option, whether that be because of years colonialism stripping us of queer history, religion’s impact, or both. It still stands that being queer is unacceptable or unheard of. I was always curious about queer history in the Western Asia, and would ask if we had any queer folks/suspected queer folks in my family, I was told “that doesn’t exist in our race/ethnic group”.

We not only aren’t allowed to exist, we aren’t expected to.

I grew up not even knowing I could be lesbian. I tried my hardest to like men, I never noticed any feelings I had for women. If I liked a girl, it was because I wanted to be friends with pretty people “that’s normal” i thought, everyone wants pretty friends. At one point I was 12 and I remember being jealous of this girls dog because I thought “he gets to spend time with her” …. and I still didn’t put it together. I went years picking crushes, telling people I liked certain guys, to the point where I started believing it and getting anxious around them. I would mistake my literal anxiety for feelings.

When I was 14 I decided, okay I have to be asexual, because I just don’t feel attracted to men, and being with them sexually disgusts me. However, I thought, “I like YA novels with these straight couples, so that must mean I can romantically like men, if not sexually”. Again being attracted to women never came to my mind, it just wasn’t a part of my reality. But interestingly, I remember I would wish I liked women, I thought “life would be easier if I liked girls”, because I genuinely was terrified of the notion of even having to eventually spend my life with a man (as was expected of me).

Still I would force myself to flirt with guys, I remember my first kiss (after having run away from and dodged every single other guy that had tried). The kiss felt like nothing, so boring, I thought “why do people like doing this”. Starting from that point on, my high school experience was me getting drunk going to parties and trying to see if I could feel attraction to men. Drink after drink, nothing made a difference— I could not bring myself to kiss another guy again. So I led people on, faked crushes based on conventional attractiveness, felt nervous around said “crushes”.

I was inexplicably lonely in my experience.

I remember once at an all girls party when I was 17 and sober, I really had the urge to kiss this girl, I just wanted to be near her. When I heard her compliment me, it made me feel something for the first time in my life. And do you know what came to my mind? “I must be really lonely, I need a boyfriend”.

I didn’t realize I was a lesbian until I moved out at the age of 20, fell in love with a woman I didn’t realize I had feeling for until my heart was absolutely broken.

Anyways, I find it extremely unfair to say that lesbians that experienced comphet through perceived crushes on men, are “fake” lesbians. Our expierences are not the same because our lives are not, our cultures are not. The Lesbian masterdoc genuinely helped me put the pieces together, so even shitting on it irks me (* clarification, you can have issues w it but to discard how much it has helped people is ?). Not every single lesbian’s experience is going to be the same.

(disclaimer: when i mention option, it in no way means being queer or lesbian is a choice, i mean it in the context of being queer not existing within our reality ie being told and taught that being queer is a western concept. many of us are raised believing the only thing that exists is heterosexuality which plays into us not being able to understand our feelings towards women ie thinking or even contemplating that we are gay, is not an option).

[naibselesbian]

I've noticed even since the creator of the "comphet masterdoc" came out as bi, fauxbians are still trying to justify it by saying "well sure it contains some bisexual experiences, but it still really resonates with lesbians and helps people realize they are lesbians" and I guess other fauxbians are eating it up. I don't know whether to laugh or cry

They'll make literally any leap of logic necessary to justify continuing to insert themselves into lesbian spaces and to continue appropriating the identity of the very people they oppress.

[naibselesbian]

[naibselesbian]

[naibselesbian]

less “therapy is for everyone!” more advice on how to recognize when therapy is helping you and when it is harming you, more educating people on their rights and what they can do when their rights have been violated, more advice on navigating finding a therapist that isn’t only applicable to private practice situations

less “don’t forget to take your meds!” more sharing of studies on the effects of psychiatric medication (wanted and unwanted/positive and negative), more discussion of how to document your experiences on medications so you can understand how they are effecting you, more support for people struggling to navigate getting prescribed/using/going off of psychiatric medication

less “always reblog the suicide hotline!“ more sharing information on what happens if you do actually call one of these lines (i.e. will they send the cops to your house), more teaching individuals and communities how to help someone in crisis without involving police or hospitalization, more open discussions of how to share what we feel and make others feel seen, understood, and supported when it comes to extremely difficult feelings and situations

[naibselesbian]

There’s no such thing as a “comphet crush.” Getting crushes on or being attracted to men is not a lesbian experience. No actual lesbian has ever been attracted to a man, fictional, unattainable, celebrity, or otherwise. If you’ve had a “comphet crush”, that means you’re not a lesbian.

[naibselesbian]

“People found it hard to believe that a babe like Jennifer would associate with a dork like me.”

[naibselesbian]

Girlhood is going from being a little girl to getting catcalled almost over night.

Girlhood is bleeding through your pants in elementary school because you got your period earlier than the other girls.

Girlhood is breast pain that comes with the over sexualization from your early development.

Girlhood is the boys smacking you on the ass in the hallway as his friends laugh. Your best friend says it means he likes you.

Girlhood is having the rape talk before the sex talk.

Girlhood is invasive.

Girlhood is tampons and fingers and comments that leave a weird feeling in your stomach.

Girlhood is feeling like you don’t own your body.

Girlhood is being scared you’re pregnant at 14 because your boyfriend coerced you into sex.

Girlhood is unwanted hands, speculums, and cold doctors offices.

Girlhood is getting your first vaginal exam and birth control prescription at age 11 because your periods were heavy.

Girlhood is longing, hurting, bleeding, suffering.

Girlhood is NOT about wearing dresses and bras and being pretty.

I’m sick of our struggles being appropriated and practically mocked by sick, mentally ill, perverted men.

[naibselesbian]

I cant help but look at him and feel pity AND also cringe. Like dude you look like a 11 year old telling shitty jokes and checking who laughed