nandermoin

[nandermoin]

I have the biggest dick in 40 square miles

[nandermoin]

Just a little nandermo for tonight

[nandermoin]

I'm sorry but if they don't find a way to make Guillermo immortal my buddy Nandor is inevitably watching the sunrise on that man's grave to make sure they are gone together

[nandermoin]

top "Nandor being down for Guillermo" moments (in no particular order):

asking Colin Robinson to take a picture of him having fun, so Guillermo knew he didn't miss him at all

saying "I've been very unhappy since you left" and him practically begging Guillermo to come back

wanting to turn Guillermo in his homeland (romantic much)

giving one of his male wives the coin, because he defeated him, whilst with Guillermo he looks waaaay into it.

making a glitter portrait of them both as vampires

asking him to be his best man before he even had a bride to be. bonus: he was inspired by "The Wedding Planner", in which the groom ends up marrying his wedding planner. subtle.

being disappointed that Guillermo wasn't jealous anymore

going to freaking space for him

asking for Guillermo whenever he is distressed

honestly, just him in his coffin in 5x01, the definition of heart eyes

keeping a card Guillermo gave him 13 years ago. does he have a special box with everything Guillermo has given him over the years? he memorized that card. he mouthed the words along.

clenching on his sweater, looking absolutely miserable

[nandermoin]

Can we talk about the parallel between Guillermo's turning and un-turning.

His turning went so wrong, it wasn't what he wanted at all. We know our crazy, dramatic baby. He wanted a ceremony, he wanted it to be romantic and soft, he wanted vows and sacred words. He wanted to slowly expose his neck, he wanted whispered words, he wanted to feel safe and cherished. He wanted to be asked and be held and be seen and be accepted.

What he got instead was a badly lit horrifying ordeal. He had to take charge. Derek had no idea what he was doing. It happened in a backroom of a store, they kept getting interrupted by Derek's boss asking him to clean out toilets. Derek fucked up his bite. He almost died. "Have you done this before". Derek fainting. Blood everywhere. Anticlimactic, disappointing, not at all the culmination of his life long dream, of decades of service and love.

His un-turning on the other hand.

Oh Nandor knows him. He made up a ritual for him with a suitably dramatic name: "The Ceremony of Vampiric Transmogrification". He dressed him in robes which he put on him so softly and spoke to him so kindly beforehand. He got all the other vampires ready for him. He hung banners and lit candles. He wrote and spoke vows and sacred words to him. He gave him a choice and asked him a question. And when he got his answer he took charge and made sure everything went exactly as it should. He made Guillermo feel seen and loved and accepted, even if it broke his heart.

[nandermoin]

i’m jumping on the “nandor will turn guillermo in a few years once he feels ready” train for THREE reasons.

1. i cannot fathom a world where they are not together and happy forever and ever

2. if guillermo is turned but refuses to kill humans, nandor bringing him cups of blood or whatever would parallel guillermo’s duty of bringing food to the vampires for so many years

3. it would be gay and fun and they could have a vampire wedding

this is not really a theory more just what i want to happen. i am not normal about them or about this show

[nandermoin]

hold on. are you telling me that nandor held off turning guillermo for 13 years because he knew guillermo wasn't cut out for vampirism. he knew being a vampire was guillermo's greatest dream and he didn't want him to be disappointed. he didn't want guillermo to lose his dream. I'm going to be sick

[nandermoin]

tying Guillermo's robe. "don't be nervous we've all been through it". "nothing you cannot handle". putting together the whole ceremony. "you wanna be a human, there's no shame in that". "we're gonna make it happen". "you want me to do it?". "I don't know" "I do". keeping Guillermo's old glasses in his pocket. "I'm sorry, Guillermo. that was the only way for you to figure out what you actually wanted". hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "it was a horrible and hard decision. I think you made the right choice".

[nandermoin]

The whole “it’s illegal for Guillermo to be turned but it’s okay if he kills 70 vampires!?” Is not a plot hole, they’re both illegal but Nandor found the killing one hot so he excused it

[nandermoin]

[nandermoin]

Saw this on Twitter and needed to share

[nandermoin]

A little too familiar...

My contribution to @wwcitszine volume 3! Was going to post this sooner but I got too busy and forgot... It was a really fantastic charity zine though! Thanks to everybody who purchased it!

[nandermoin]

boop :)

[nandermoin]

he must have tried it on right

[nandermoin]

I don't know why people are shocked that Nandor Still-Has-Cards-Off-His-Mum-And-Even-Rival-Armies The Relentless kept Guillermo's card?? Like look how happy he is over an actual piece of junk mail he was sent

He's a sentimental bastard, it's no wonder he had that card memorised! It was probably the nicest thing anyone had given him in hundreds of years

[nandermoin]

i can't believe this is canon

[nandermoin]

"Guillermo has always been completely loyal to me."

Because he HAS.

Because Guillermo has never even considered forcing the bite. He's never hurt a vampire in anything but self-defense. The only time his power wasn't to protect Nandor, it was to beg something of him: 'don't leave me behind.'

"I know you better than anyone."

Because he DOES.

He knew Guillermo was nine or ten when he realized he was... He knew how to push Guillermo into a fight to test his resolve. He didn't know Guillermo's last name, none of them did, but when he learned it he tattooed it into his brain and made sure he said it right, used it to make Guillermo feel like a knight.

"I can't believe you remember that."

'I can't believe that mattered to you. I can't believe I mattered to you. I would never have done this if I knew it mattered enough to break your heart.'