nanochurch - Tumblr blog

[nanochurch]

DYNO-MIIIIIIITE

That awkward moment your spouse preaches using a story about dynamite and your child writes about it at school. Yes.  We got a note from the teacher.

[nanochurch]

Actual Conversations With My Spouse About Our Daughter

C: :: reads email::

C: Oh good. We don't have to buy the bishop a new table.

[nanochurch]

They’re Just Like Us.  Sort of.

C:  I was seriously like "who are these people? OH"

J: haa

J; two totally normal dudes

C:  THIS IS THE TENTH BISHOP OF THE SEE OF MANCHESTER, SUCCESSOR TO THE APOSTLES: C: IN A TEE SHIRT FROM WALMART

J: 

C: Is that a turtleneck?

C:  do people even wear those anymore?

J:  just a sweater

C:  Pffft.  He's got his collar on.

C: NEXT

J: 

J: Next, indeed

C:  What am I even looking at?

J:  Justin Welby being prayed over at an evangelical conference in Nottingham.

J: I think the background says SURRENDER DOROTHY

[nanochurch]

Actual Morning Conversations

J: So, uh, is this your bottle of port on the dresser?

C: Ooooh yeah! It was leftover from that dinner Tuesday night so I threw it in my purse.

J: Okay. So it's not consecrated or anything, right?

C: What? No.

J: Good. Because when I was ordained I never got that spiritual gift of telling which wine was consecrated.

#justclergyfamilythings #nanochurch #mmmmmport

[nanochurch]

Wasn't There a Shadow Council in Doctor Who?

C: omg there's a shadow council in the church

J: wat

C: http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/shadow-council-speaker-pushed-church-acceptance-of-contraception-gay-sex-98836/

'Shadow council' speaker pushes Church acceptance of contraception, gay sex

J: Right.

J: Here we go again: Western European bishops want to liberalize teaching and praxis. Conservative blogosphere freaks out with name calling and conspiracy theories.

C: But it's a SHADOW COUNCIL

C: THATS SO FUCKING COOL

J: You didn't hear it from me, but they are meeting in the same hotel as the Bildeburger Commission.

[nanochurch]

Asperges Me, Domine

J: So Lydia keeps asking me for a Shower Wow

C: What is a Shower Wow?

J: It's a disco light for your shower: J: http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7Hu_/shower-wow-party-in-the-shower

J: She's asked me twice now. It's really funny.

J: Just seems to pop into her head while riding in the car

C: LOL

C: Wow. That's a real thing.

C: It says it's water powered.

C: Can you mount that on an aspirgilium?

J: I have no clue.

J: ASPERGES WOW

[nanochurch]

Lions and Tigers and Bears

C: check out that lion elevator

J: wow

C: my first reaction is all THATS AWESOME

C: then I realized it was invented so lions would eat us

C: and I was like "Terrifying. But still pretty awesome!"

C:

[nanochurch]

Wait Till It Comes Around Again on the Gee-tar

Courtney: I wish I had written this. It's such a mic drop.

Jason: Very nice

J: It leaves my heart strangely warmed

C: Why?

J: Mostly Mark's footnote that her letter is one of millions

J: Between Pope Francis and Shirley Weddell, you have a movement on your hands

C: Yay?

J: It's good

C: It feels a little like the Alice's Restuarant Masacree

J: Just walk into your priest's office, sing one verse of "come let us use the grace divine" and walk out.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/markshea/2015/05/a-crie-de-coeur-from-a-layperson-to-her-priest.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=facebook

[nanochurch]

One of the most destructive mistakes we Christians make is to prioritize shared beliefs over shared relationship, which is deeply ironic considering we worship a God who would rather die than lose relationship with us.

Rachel Held Evans 

[nanochurch]

Lent Was Hard, Yo

C: I really wish I was good at speed bag punching.

J: I can buy one for the basement.

C: Huh. In bet I wouldn't want to fight about liturgy as much.

J: Facta est.

[nanochurch]

Stealth Child Management During a Choral Anthem

[nanochurch]

How I Feel When Hanging Out in the Sacristy Before A Diocesan Mass

[nanochurch]

I'm dying.

Oh man 

I got an F on my witch test

[nanochurch]

That's Not How This Works

C: So who tempted Jesus in the desert? L: A CAMEL

#conversationswithLydia #Lent

[nanochurch]

Which Quickly Give Way to #OMGWHATAREWEDOING

L: IM GOING DOWNTOWN TO GET ASHES FROM DADDY

L: HES A PWEEST

Queue bogglement from the preschool class

#aaaaaandthereitis #humblepie #catholicschoolisgoingtobefun

[nanochurch]

Moments in Parenting Where You Think #WINNING

L: I WANNA GO GET ASHES!

#conversationswithLydia #butwaittheresmore

[nanochurch]

"Time to burn the palms" -J