narcdoll

[narcdoll]

just woke up from a dream in which “having a two year old alter” was such a common identity facet among the general public that you could buy like mugs and gift bags etc related to this at any walmart or target

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this random but should be heard:

you are not and will never be a bad person for distancing yourself from someone who was destroying your mental health/making you want to relapse. no matter how hard they guilt trip you.

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"not everything is about you" then i'll fucking make it about me get the fuck off my case

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This kinda shit is exactly why we hate y’all. No you fucking can’t just “become a system” holy fucking shit

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npd culture is sitting and admiring your own art like yess. i made that. my art is finally as good as i want it to be, its so perfect. im unstoppable. im surprised people arent obsessed with me yet.

.

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can you explain what an npd split looks like for the pwnpd? what causes splitting, how it feels like, for how long it usually happens. i found articles about it and read them but most of them werent really insight, just how it looks for other people and how to deal when pwnpd split

splitting for pwnpd is usually triggered by a lack of attention/acknowledgement or supply. for me, when my needs aren’t met and I feel as if I’m not being paid enough attention to/people aren’t acknowledging me, I start splitting. keep in mind everyone’s experiences are unique to their own! these are just a few examples I was able to list that could be the reason behind why someone can begin to split

splits can last for hours to days on end, even weeks. keep in mind it’s completely normal if some of your splits are longer or shorter than others!

It’s pretty hard to explain how it feels when splitting, considering you can split for a numerous amount of reasons. sometimes I feel a gnawing sickness and resentment towards the person/thing I’m splitting over, or Instead I feel empty and numb. it really depends on the person and the reason why you’re splitting in the first place

when I’m splitting, I usually try and find something to distract myself with to get my mind off things. stuff like taking a shower, going outside, cleaning, or watching a comfort show/movie of mine always helps to clear my mind. I understand if this might not be helpful for you, and that’s completely okay! there’s plenty of other ways that you can cope with splitting. sometimes its easier to just release your emotions instead of bottling them up. ripping a piece of paper is probably the safest approach when it comes to releasing your anger. breaking or throwing something (safely) definitely helps, too.

I hope this information is helpful enough to you! I apologise if my wording here isn’t that great, I haven’t had the time to respond to these properly so I’ve been writing these on a bit of a whim. if there’s anything else you’d like answered/need advice with, my inbox is always open and I’m happy to answer them. take care!

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ive been questioning whether i have npd or not lately but then its like. im so smart and funny and people find my ego charming and i dont want to try and see what a doctor has to say about it cuz i dont want them to think im not any of those things also they'll probably be wrong anyway.. trying to find npd stuff on tumbr tho

hi! not sure if you meant to send this into my inbox but i'll answer anyways ^_^

If you're looking for recourses on NPD, I'd highly recommend looking through the DSM-5, which you should be able to find online for free! I'd also suggest looking through this and this! theyre resource masterlists on NPD (the diagnostic criteria, definitions, blogs ect).

I hope this was helpful enough for you, take care!

[narcdoll]

things I didn't know could be undiagnosed npd:

(NOTE: this is my personal experience. I am not currently diagnosed.)

HATING being told I was "as good as everyone else." i SEETHED hearing that. I didn't want to be "as good as-" I wanted to be BETTER.

hating HATING everyone who did better than me- they must've cheated. It's not fair.

if someone criticises me, they didn't get the full picture. they'd LOVE me if they did.

constantly feeling like an outsider but ONLY liking people I could see as the same as me. everyone else is a piece of shit.

constantly trying to present myself publicly with a "confident" posture and use "fancy" words to seem more intelligent

exaggerating my self hatred for sympathy and compliments, getting pissed when people don't compliment me for that

getting confused when people don't laugh at my humour because I make the Best Jokes Ever

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not everyone with npd is an awful evil manipulator. but i am. love yall ❤️

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insert something funny here

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executive dysfunction

// fanbrush, ANGST, vent art, prob very ooc (sorry! i'm projecting! smiles)

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i draw

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awww

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random misc

[narcdoll]

Just a reminder

Be the kind of system that feels right to your system. Regardless of what random shit heads on the internet think, it is your system. Your way of moving through the world.

If that means intergration, you do that.

If that means feeling the extremely valid rough feelings that come with being a system, you do that.

If that means making the best out of your situation, you do that.

I am so tired of seeing people say “bEiNg a SyStEm iSn’T sOmEtHiNg yOu ShOuLd EnJoY”

No shit Sherlock, we know the disorder is extremely draining. We know it’s not “only having friends in your head” that doesn’t give you the right to tell other systems they can’t try to make the best out of their situation. Some days are gonna be hard. Sometimes the only people you got are the one “in your head”

So to the systems that are best friends with their head mates, I love that for you.

To the systems that feel like the only family they have is their head mates, I love that for you.

To the systems that bicker with their head mates like siblings, I love that for you

To the systems that fall in love with their head mates, I love that for you.

Having DID does NOT mean living in a constant state of sorrow because people view it as “romanticizing” the disorder. We are well aware of the horrors that come with this way of navigating the world. Just because we don’t want to spend our lives “eternally doomed” doesn’t make us bad people.

Idk about y’all but being sad about having DID or being a system is only helpful for so long. We don’t want to spend our entire lives mourning. We don’t want to spend every waking moment wishing things were different. For us, that would mean our abusers would win. That would mean everything they said we wouldn’t be able to do will remain what ifs. Idk of being happy out of spite is a motivator for everyone so I will just say this.

Be happy for you. Y’all deserve it. Yes you’ll have ups and downs. But y’all are worthy and deserving of peace just like any other physical body. Having DID isn’t a death sentence. It is just another way of navigating the world. Just like with any other neurodivergence.

Stop sentencing people to a life of torment just because you feel that they are “too happy” to have DID. Ever heard of masking? Yeah maybe you should take that into consideration as well.

Be the kind of system that feels right to your system. It’s your life.

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Sometimes wild attraction shit happens when you learn to separate masc/fem from man/woman. I’ve known queer women find the femininity in a man attractive. I’ve known gay men get so hot and bothered by the masculinity of a woman.

There was once a guy who was not really my type but then he did drag and was suddenly wildly attractive to me. And since I’m bisexual it doesn’t give me a crisis when someone is suddenly hot to me in an unconventional way. I used to think this was particularly a bi experience.

Then I’ve met plenty of gay men and lesbians who are also chill about that sort of thing. Sometimes life is like that “oops made out with a twink in Brighton who turned out to be a lesbian who thought I was a lesbian” and sometimes it’s like “hey, I’m not normally into men but this guy has got something hot going on.”