narddogbernard
THE NARD DOG!
indie andy bernard from the office. loved by bunny!
95 posts
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Last Seen Blogs
ka-leido
"Foco"
calihooo-blog
Untitled
kiffers
So much dick and so little time!
coloradospringsluxuryapartments
Lark On Woodmen
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anyone want a STARTER from everyone’s favorite nard dog?
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andy: milady, m’tuna
me: soft
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caworkplacehijinks:
❛ i don— is that a movie or something? ❜
“is that a MOVIE or something -- yeah, tuna! it’s only one of the best movies out there! kurt russell, dennis dun,” and then there’s a sensual pause, “kim cattrall. there’s martial arts,” and he mimes some moves, pretending to karate chop in jim’s general direction.
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workplacehijinks:
❛ you’re the prettiest princess at the ball. ❜ there’s a hint of concern under all that sarcasm. ❛ are you okay, man? what’s up? ❜
“you --” hiccups, “think so, tunes?” andy doesn’t really register the sarcasm, bless him. king of missed cues. he’s been going through it, considering everything. . . “i uh,, i dunno, tuna. everything’s been CONFUSING lately.”
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workplacehijinks:
* @narddogbernard said —— big tuna little china
❛ what’s that? ❜
“big trouble little china? what was on your mind, tunes?”
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must resist urge to make a tim murphy from iasip sideblog
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hangover 3,,,, the movie that keeps on giving,,,,
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me sobbing every night at 12 am: ed helms is so talented
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andy is going to occasionally wear glasses because ed looks too good in hangover 3 for me to *not* use it
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narddogbernard:
me @ me: don’t make robert california and gabe
@bobkazamakis @unsettlingcinema
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narddogbernard:
me @ me: don’t make robert california and gabe
@bobkazamakis @unsettlingcinema
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me @ me: don’t make robert california and gabe
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Take THIS TEST for your muse and post your results, tag as many as you’d like!
REPOST.
warmth. 70% supportive, comforting.
intellect. 46% instinctive, unstable.
emotional stability. 38% irritable, moody.
aggressiveness. 30% modest, docile.
liveliness. 70% wild, fun loving.
dutifulness. 74% conforming, traditional.
social assertiveness. 78% uninhibited, bold.
sensitivity. 78% touchy, soft.
paranoia. 26% trusting, easy going.
abstractness. 74% strange, imaginative.
introversion. 38% open, friendly.
anxiety. 74% fearful, self-doubting.
open-mindedness. 62% curious, exploratory.
independence. 18% outgoing, social.
perfectionism. 54% orderly, thorough.
tension. 54% stressed, unsatisfied.
tagged by @workplacehijinks ( thanks, tuna! )
tagging: @blueletterss @icarusinvited @dwightschrxte
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untetheredrage:
“No, bro– you’re not getting what I’m saying. That’s my whole point.” Dennis sighs in agitation and then proceeds to reiterate. “If they fear you, they love you by default. It’s the same thing.” He explains as if that clarifies anything.
A brow of his quirks at the brief mention of needing everyone to like him and Dennis can’t help but snicker. “You need everyone to like you? Well, no wonder you’re not getting it. You’re desperate.”
“ -- -- -- is it?” andy asks with his best thor meme impression. “because it doesn’t seem like that. that feels like it’s getting into a lack of consent. and abuse.” he wrinkles his nose. “i do not like abuse, sir.” he’s been on the receiving end of some toxic relationships. . . angela hurt him deeply.
“yes. i AM desperate, actually. thanks for noticing.”
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this is me trying
“ i’ve been having a hard time adjusting ”
“ i didn't know if you’d care if i came back ”
“ i have a lot of regrets about that ”
“ maybe i don’t quite know what to say ”
“ i’m here in your doorway ”
“ i just wanted you to know that this is me trying ”
“ so i got wasted like all my potential ”
“ my words shoot to kill when i’m mad ”
“ i have a lot of regrets about that ”
“ i was so ahead of the curve ”
“ fell behind all my classmates and i ended up here ”
“ and it’s hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound ”
“ it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you ”
illicit affairs
“ make sure nobody sees you leave ”
“ tell your friends you're out for a run ”
“ take the road less traveled by ”
“ tell yourself you can always stop ”
“ leave the perfume on the shelf ”
“ like you don’t even exist ”
“ take the words for what they are ”
“ and that’s the thing about illicit affairs ”
“ but they lie and they lie and they lie ”
“ don’t call me “kid"
“ don’t call me “baby” ”
“ look at this godforsaken mess that you made me ”
“ you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else ”
“ look at this idiotic fool that you made me ”
“ you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else ”
“ and you know damn well for you, i would ruin myself a million little times ”
invisible string
“ i used to think i would meet somebody there ”
“ were there clues i didn’t see? ”
“and isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me? ”
“ she said i looked like an american singer ”
mad woman
“ what did you think i’d say to that? ”
“ they strike to kill, and you know i will ”
“ fuck you forever ”
“ every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy ”
“ and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry ”
“ no one likes a mad woman ”
“ you made her like that ”
“ they say, “move on” but you know i won’t ”
“ it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together ”
“ i’m taking my time ”
“ ‘cause you took everything from me ”
epiphany
“ keep your helmet, keep your life ”
“ just a flesh wound, here’s your rifle ”
“ sir, i think he’s bleeding out ”
“ some things you just can’t speak about ”
“ only twenty minutes to sleep ”
“ but you dream of some epiphany ”
betty
“ i won’t make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom but i think it’s ‘cause of me ”
“ one time i was riding on my skateboard when i passed your house it’s like i couldn’t breathe ”
“ you heard the rumors from [ name ] ”
“ you can’t believe a word she says ”
“ the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you ”
“ but if i just showed up at your party would you have me? ”
“ would you want me? ”
“ would you tell me to go fuck myself? ”
“ i don’t know anything but i know i miss you ”
“ i hate the crowds, you know that ”
“ plus, i saw you dance with him ”
“ slept next to her but i dreamt of you all summer long ”
“ i’m here on your doorstep ”
“ the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you ”
“ will you love me? ”
“ will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? ”
“ you know i miss you ”
peace
“ i never had the courage of my convictions ”
“ no, i could never give you peace ”
“ but i’m a fire and i'll keep your brittle heart warm ”
“ but i would die for you in secret ”
“ the devil’s in the details but you got a friend in me ”
“ i talk shit with my friends ”
“ your integrity makes me seem small ”
“ i’d give you my sunshine, give you my best ”
“ but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standin’ with me ”
“ all these people think love’s for show ”
“ would it be enough if i could never give you peace? ”
hoax
“ this has broken me down ”
“ your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in ”
“ don't want no other shade of blue but you ”
“ i am ash from your fire ”
“ you know i left a part of me back in new york ”
“ you knew the hero died so what’s the movie for? ”
“ but what you did was just as dark ”
“ you have beaten my heart ”
“ you knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart ”
“ you knew you won so what’s the point of keeping score? ”
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