nat20critfail

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no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

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the prophecy of pete conlan from those irish immigrants has me actually weeping what do you mean the fae folk told his ancestors to look out for him, what do you mean “he will walk all ways of life and his name will be known to himself before it is known to any other” and his long dead ancestors immediately knew and trusted him and had been awaiting him

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olympic gold in hitting christian babies with a bat

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self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

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some of you aren’t even perverts you just have normal sexual desires that you are ashamed of

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"If I were orpheus I wouldn't look back"

But we look back everyday- rechecking emails, making sure a friend is still behind you, checking to see if you remebered to pick up your keys. It's second nature, a habit of care.

It was second nature for him too. He looked back, not out of weakness, but love. For what is love, if not to look back?

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RIP 4Chan, i'll never forget this post that instantly cured my social anxiety upon reading it 🫡

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literally any upper middle class tiktok self-identified ‘that girl’ in a pastel workout set with a thirteen step skincare routine and a green juice is a million times closer to being patrick bateman irl than any self-identified sigma film bro

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british fantasy name: wicklebort smee

american fantasy name: aethiraimia “mia” windfeeler

chinese fantasy name: zhang youming (minimum two pages of in-text etymology about why they’re called this)

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Game Changer - "One and Done"

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Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

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Bro, we are cooked. The knight that dogs the prince's shadow like a dark and silent wraith just knelt to press his forehead to the prince's hand. Yeah, now he's uttering a prayer whose recipient is ostensibly God but in reality is the deified version of the prince that exists only in his mind. Aaand the prince just caressed his cheek to preemptively grant him absolution. I gotta... I gotta get out of here.

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I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

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I cannot stop thinking about this article. It has enchanted me.