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Map of England, City, and University

Map of My New Home. Create three different maps.  (1) Current map of country with text entry either introducing the reader to boundary changes the country has experienced over time (hint; wars, territory changes, even colonialism, etc.) or a brief history of the country.  (2) Current map of the town / city you will be staying.  Identify key locations that will be relevant to our stay in the country.  (3) Map of your new campus.  Provide some school history and current topics.  It is suggested you compliment your map with photos where appropriate.   Use at least 5 separate sources (these can be listed on a seperate page or on the bottom of the map pages).

Map of England.

Humans arrived at the lands around 900,000 years ago and were considered prehistoric times until the Roman invasion in AD 43. Julius Caesar arrived on the shores of Britain in 55-54BC but the conquest was not successful until 100 years later when Claudius launched a full scale invasion. This began the Britains Roman era. Arguably the most important time period was called the early medieval period. This time period helped form the English identity and language. The medieval times were full of war and plague. This led to castles and monarchies and grew to be a huge influence on English culture. Moving onto the Stuarts period, there was intense religious and political conflicts and shifted the monarchy to parliaments. This time period also sparked a lot of discoveries and innovations in science, architecture, and everyday life. Next is the georgians period and was a key time of the expanding empire. The victorian ages was next. Many achievements from this period are still apparent today. Finally, the 20th century saw 2 world wars with enormous social, political, and religious change. https://www.english-heritage.org.uk/learn/story-of-england/

Map of Birmingham Area

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There are many key places that will be relevant to my stay in Birmingham England.

Main Library, University Of Birmingham- I will definitely be at the library for a large part of my trip. I would use this place to study, read, and write up assignments.

JD Gyms Birmingham- I enjoy working out and would use this place to stay in shape. I would try and be there at least 4 days of the week.

Grange Road Playing Fields- I love to play soccer and would hopefully be able to join a team while in England. If not, I am planning to bring my soccer shoes to shoot around and keep my touch clean. I would try and make it to the soccer fields at least 1 time per week.

Tesco Supermarket- While studying abroad I will be cooking my own meals. I will need a convenient grocery store to pick up food and snacks.

Cannon Hill Park- I plan to take walks in the park and get a good sense of what life really feels like in England. I want to be a member of the community by interacting with others by sparking up conversations.

https://www.birmingham.gov.uk/parks

https://kevsbest.co.uk/best-supermarkets-birmingham/

Map of Birmingham Campus

The University of Birmingham was founded in 1900 and was the new model for higher education. It is England's first  civic university, a place for individuals from all backgrounds. Over the past 100 years the campus has grown 672 acres and also have a campus in Dubai. Today, University of Birmingham are proactive in all aspects of study and life. They have events that students can join and learn about like “The Future Business District in a Changing City Centre”, “Dyslexia: Whats New” and “Climate Change and Criminality”. These events are held online and can be useful for individual wanting to learn more about the topics.

https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/university/history-and-heritage/index.aspx

https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/events/index.aspx

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Blog Post: generalizations and stereotypes

Read MSA 53-59, address the ideas about generalizations and stereotypes that you find intriguing and what challenges you might have when you arrive in your host country.

I believe there will be many generalizations and stereotypes I will have to get used to once in England. The slang words and they way they interact socially will have to be different in some type of way. I have some English friends in the states but I don't notice them being so far out of the normal that they stand out in the group. I feel there is enough common ground between cultures to communicate and flow easily. There may be some variance in cultural from personal to universal behaviors, but that's what I am excited to learn about. 

I am a huge fan of English soccer so I know I will have some background knowledge to make conversation. I keep up with all the current news. I am able to see how the English talk in their news articles and interviews. I am excited to constantly be talking soccer with a bunch of new friends. 

In terms of basic things I should know before going, I definitely need to do some quick research about the governments, leaders, cultural diversity, national holidays, and economic situation. This way I can have my idea of what England will be like and then actually experience it in real life. It could either change or enhance my understanding of the country and see how people report about it. 

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Who Am I?

Before I start this blog post it must be noted that my book has not came in the mail yet and cannot see the diagram on page 44-46. I tried to find an online pdf version of the book and also asked barrow the book from a friend in the class but nothing worked out. 

I am an athlete, a student, an American, a brother, son, friend, and a person interested in traveling the world. All of these could be describe me, Nate Kekelik. As a person I would consider myself open-minded, mindful, and fun. As a student I am hardworking, responsible, and a goal oriented individual. I think these two areas of who I am will allow me to have a successful study abroad experience. I will know and understand that I am in England for school and prioritize that first above all else. I will also be able to make friends and travel around the county and Europe. I am very excited and looking forwards to making friends from all over the world, traveling and understanding new cultures, and learning in a new environment. 

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About the Author

About the Author

My name is Nate Kekelik and I am a senior studying behavioral neuroscience and psychology at North Central College. Traveling the world has always been something I wanted to do and I finally have the chance. Visiting and learning about new cultures will provide me with a new perspective of the world. While studying at North Central College, I have made friends with people from all over the world. I love to talk to them about their cultures and traditions. There is so much to learn about the different ways humans live their lives, it's fascinating.

I love traveling and experiencing new atmospheres. It really does change the way I think about the places and the people that live there. I recently created an Instagram account to post all the cool pictures I have taken across the country. My top three favorite places I have visited are as follows: Long Beach, California; Miami, Florida; and Washington, D.C. I have never been outside of the United States and have been itching to leave.

I chose Birmingham, England as the first place I want to experience outside the U.S. for many reasons. The main reason is because I am a huge fan of Premier League soccer. My favorite team is based out of west London, but I choose to study in Birmingham because it is in the middle of the country. This way it will be easier to travel and experience different teams and fans.

Traveling the world is something I have always wanted to do but never had the chance because of Covid. With the world opening back up, I would love to take advantage and take my first step in traveling the world. I am excited at the possibility of gaining a new perspective.

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SOCCER & MAKEUP

Nate Kekelik

Professor Barber

Interpersonal Communication

28 May 2019

                                          SOCCER & MAKEUP

Viktoriya and I are partners for the comfort zone project. She was going to teach me how to put makeup on a girl and curl her hair, while i was showing her how to play soccer. I talked to Viktoriya before we meet up to complete this project, and she informed me she was not very athletic. This was okay as i was only going to teach her the basics. We meet up in Res to start the project. The first thing we did was a passing drill. The point of the drill is to pass the ball, with no bounce, to the other partner. I set cones up in a triangle and told her to stand at one point, and that i'll stand at the other.  Just as i expected, the ball was going everywhere. It can be a lot harder to play soccer inside on the hardwood floors, but the weather did not allow us to get the full grass field experience. We made the most of the situation.

After the passing drill, i introduced her to the concept of juggling a soccer ball. This is where you keep the ball from hitting the ground by kicking it in the air. You can use your foot, knee, thigh, chest, and head. Of course this can be very difficult for a beginner. I instructed her to start by holding the ball in her hands and dropping it on to her thigh. She was able to get 3 consecutive juggles before the ball fell for the first time. This was pretty good for the first try. I suggested that she should try and pop the ball higher in order to have more time to get ready for it to come down. She did so and instantly improved. By bouncing it higher, she was able to catch her balance and pop it higher and higher every time.

Next, we decided to play footgolf. This is basically playing golf with a soccer ball. You start at one size with cones being the target. The point would be to pass the ball and make it stop rolling as close as possible to the object. Then from there, you must roll it to and around the next cone. After that was the final cone. The point would then be to try and hit the cone with the ball. The whole idea of this drill is to improve passing accuracy along with working on pass power. Viktoriya struggled with this drill for many reasons. She was unable to comprehend how hard to kick it as she is new to this concept. This resulted in the ball going a lot farther than anticipated. Since it was inside, the ball felt like it was rolling forever. Even with the smallest of touches, it would roll to the other side of the basketball courts. This drill is very difficult to do inside for that reason. We decided to take away the golf course aspect of it and decided to just try and hit the target. This is where she started to improve. At first, everytime she would kick the  ball it would curve to the side. I told her it was because the upper part of her foot was making contact before any other part of the ball. That by using the more solid part of her ankle will help. And sure enough it did. She was able to kick it harder, straighter, and with more control. She soon go the hang of this game.

After that we moved on to penalty kicks. This happens when there is a foul inside the goalie box at the opponent's end of the field. The result is a free kick from the penalty marker being only one versus one with the opposing team's goalie. These are very easy for the kicker as it is only 12 yards away. The only thing that makes them hard is the pressure. All the eyes on the kicker can make a simple situation very hard. Viktoriya was able to do good in this situation. We set up 2 garbage cans as a goal while counting 12 yards back. I would stand in between the garbage cans while she would shoot. At first she was shooting like she passes. That is not always hard enough to get past a goalkeeper. I then showed her how to kick it with her shoe laces and it made an instant difference. She would shoot the ball past me without a problem.

After this drill i asked her if she had any other questions about soccer and she said not really, probably because she was not sure what to ask about. So i just gave her some basic rules that every play learns at the beginning. The first rule i told her is to never sit on a soccer ball. This will ruin the ball and turn it into an egged shape. After that i explained offsides to her. It was very difficult to understand at first, but after a few examples, she was able to catch on right away.

Doing makeup was A LOT more complicated than i anticipated. I never realized how many different steps and techniques are used. Not going to lie it was very frustrating as it seems so simple but really is not. Viktorya and I decided the best place to do it was at the top floor of the science center for better natural light. I have three sisters so i was not completely foreign to all the concepts, but by the end i realized how far wrong i was for thinking that i even had a clue.

The first thing we did was add primer as the base of it all. This was not terrible. It just felt like was covering the whole face without much technique. Then we added foundation with a brush. It caught me off guard when i found out there were specific way to get the make up onto the brush. It is better to do it in a swirl motion. She couldn't stress enough the importance of taking the bruch down to the neck and behind the ears. This is to prevent any harsh lines. Which is understandable. It is unattractive when girls wear too much makeup without blending everything in.

Next was concealer. This was for under the eye circles and any blemishes on the face. The best way to apply was putting stripes on the cheeks and chin. Then blend in. Translucent loose powder and bake was put on after. This blocks the oily skin. She then explained the spoolie for eyebrows and suggestested starting from the arche and down the tail. For a better outcome i used light feathery strokes to fill in. I then used contour under the cheekbones with a light brow color. In the same spot i used hila bronzer with the fluffer brush. And once again i spread it down to the neck. The blush was put on the apples of the cheeks. After that was complete i sprayed setting spray to let everything settle and set.

Then came the most difficult part of it all, the eyes. She let me pick any color i wanted so i when with red. I put this in the crease of the eyes. Then put a darker shade on the the outer “V” of the eye. I took a darker purple and mixed it with burgundy pink and put it in the same place. After that a red blend was placed down to add more warmth. To do the specific part of the eye with glitter we used the setting pray. I learned that fallout was when the eye shadow falls onto the under eye. Then i just had to connect the colors at the bottom of the eye. Finally i took dark brown eyeshadow and put on the lower eye lashes, followed by highlighting the inner corner of her lower eyelid.

The last thing we did was hair. She decided she would teach me how to curl her hair into a nice beach style. That mean not super curly but more of a wavy flow.  The first thing we did was put heat protective spray down and then brushed it. This was so the wand would not damage her hair.  We divided the hair into three sections: top, middle, and bottom. We started with the bottom and took small amounts of hair. I wrapped the hair around the heating wand, all consecutively the same way to allow it to flow better. I held it there for 20-30 seconds each time in order to get the beachy look.  

Personally, the hair was the easiest part for me. It was a lot easier to do as i do not have the steady hands for the close design works. I think the hair turned out best of all the things i did. The most difficult part was definitely the eyes. I felt like i was going to stab her in the eyes at all times and felt bad. She did one side of her face while i did the other. This made it easier to see what it was supposed to look like and how it actually turned out. On the eye that i put makeup on, it looked like there was a mountain of eye shadow. As much as i blended it together, nother got better… Only worse.

This was a very interesting experience as i never thought that into how much goes into putting makeup on. I did not realise the amount of focus and effort was needed to do such a task. In the future, it will definitely make me appreciate a girl who knows how to put everything together.

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blog 9

While setting up my schedule for the 2019 spring term, this was by far the scariest class in my schedule. I absolutely hated the idea of having to give presentations and public speak. I forced myself to take a speech class so i can just get it over with. I knew there was no way to avoid this curriculum, so i just accepted to face this fear. I was originally in the public speaking 100 class but soon changed when i realized there was an alternate class that filled the same requirements. I looked up numerous youtube videos about how to deal with and conquer the fear of public speaking. This was weeks before the class even started, but still the anxiety continued. Finally spring break came to an end and i knew what this meant; it was time to fight or flight Interpersonal Communication. The first day of class i showed up early just to make sure i could pick a seat at the back of the class. I walked into the classroom and knew no one. This made everything even worse. I thought if i had at least one friend i would be able to talk to and make the class not as stressful. DUring the first day, i found out we were getting assigned into groups and that the seats we picked did not even matter. I hated to hear this as i might get put in the group at the front of the class. When class started it was hard to focus because of all the stress. When the intermission came after about an hour into the class, i saw a bunch of people walk out with all of their belongings. I sat there debating if i should be one of the kids who just walked out and never came back. I really was debating it for most of the class and thinking about the pros and cons of doing this. I knew this class would teach me valuable skills that are very important to have, but having to constantly deal with large amounts of stress could possibly ruin my spring term. Thankfully i looked at the better side of things and stayed in the class. I was able to meet a lot of great people and develop friendships with individuals outside of my regular friend group. It was truly a great learning experience.

Obviously i was able to bear through the class and maintain a grade i'm happy with regardless of all my anxiety. We did a lot of different activities, speachess, and group projects that really developed me as a group member, student, and friend. The speech that made me a lot less scared of public speaking was “My life is a lie”. Normally the night before any presentation, i would be freaking out not getting much sleep. Terrified i would look stupid or say all the wrong things, it would stick in my head and pick at me till the presentations was finally over. Something was different about this speech though. I was able to keep my cool, even the night before. I kept telling myself “it's only 30 seconds to a minute long, it could not go terribly wrong even if i tried.” I had to do a major project at the end of the second term that was much more serious than just explaining the times i've lied on social media. After i realized this, i was a lot more calm and prepared. I was not as anxious as normal the night before and had a more laid back feeling about presenting. It also helped seeing everyone else present and explain how they have lied before too. I just remember thinking that it was nothing to sweet about, as everyone else were flying through it very fast. This was the biggest turning point for me in the class i think. After i gave my speech, i realized that presenting is not as bad as i have always made it out to be. I was able to approach every other speech i presented in that class with confidence and faith.

Working in the group projects introduced me to a variety of different types of working styles. I am not the type of person who like to work on something last minute and am very grateful no one in my group was wither. That would have led to the constant feeling of being rushed and unprepared. In fact, my group was so proactive that it took me by shock. After a long week of classes, friday night is usually when i will want to relax and not think about school. But in this group, we more often than not schedule meetings on friday or saturday nights. This is usually when i will be out or hanging with friends. This was very unusual for me as i would usually work with a group on sundays or nights during the week. This was something i definitely had to get used to. It taught me alot about different ways of living and studying. It was interesting to see how focused and determined each of them were after a long week. Of course i was not going to complain or be absent to the meetings, so instead i showed up with an open mind. As much as i did not want to go when all my friends were hanging out, it taught me to be a better team member.

Finally, the final group project was where i tried to show how much i have adjusted to being in the class. After the first project, we were all instructed to be more assertive when it comes to speaking. We all let Bella take the front roll and do a majority of the talking. For the last group project, i tried to take it upon myself to take a bigger role. When we would meet, i would volunteer to be more active in the talking process. Although i agreed to read the basic poster off to the class, i also volunteered to be the sample robot. This was when i really just said full send and gave it my all. I was able to get Tobias to come be apart of our project and act like the buyer. When i walked in to act like the build a bro i tried to be as loud and lively as possible. As much as that is out of my character to do, i did not want to let the group down. Before i came running in, i ran to the water fountain took a sip and took a breath. That is when i realized i was not very nervous at all. I was more interested in seeing how this will go. I thought it went very well as it seemed to make people laugh. When helped the most is when Tobias group brought me to the front of the class during their project. I was able to get a feeling of what it would be like to be in front of everyone without having to perform too much. Even there, i did my best to be as loud and extra as possible as their group was depending on me to not mess something up. This made everything easier for when it was actually my time to present.

I was happy that i was able to build up this type of confidence throughout the course of the class. If someone where to have told me that by the end of the term i would be volunteering at the front of the class to help another group out, i would not have believed them at all. I would have called them crazy. I am happy that i stayed in the class even though it gave me stress. I feel it has helped me deal with my stage fright tremendously. Not only that but i was able to learn how to deal with problems and communication. This benefits me when talking to friends, teachers, coaches, or even strangers.

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Blog 8

My current role at this point in my life is to be a college student, brother, and a teammate. Each role is different but when all combined, it makes me who i am. Starting with being a college student. I am studying and furthering my education in order to set myself up for a better future. This proves to be a positive role as it allows me to set up a foundation for a career. Achieving high grades in classes, such as all A’s, has driven me to focus on this role very hard. It is very important to me and i continue to see the work pay off. My second role is being a brother. When home for summer or breaks, i try my best to try and get along with my family. This does not always go well. When it does, i'll take my siblings out for ice cream or play sports with them. This promotes my role in the family. When i become the scapegoat, i usually tend to withdraw from the family. This is when i fail at my role. I will avoid and ignore all forms of communications in order to prevent the self fulfilling prophecy. Finally, the other role that is a big part of my life: soccer/ team member. This role is important to me as i tend to try and appear as a soccer player even off the pitch. I will wear jerseys, talk about teams, and watch professional player highlights. This is all part of the role in order to stay connected with the sport. Watching soccer with a  friend or the team is all very common. In addition to knowing everything about the sport, staying in shape is part of the role. Working out to stay fit, being able to run miles, and be fast is all very important aspects to being a player and team member.

After reading about this chapter, i have been able to better understand how a family system works within my life. I have been able to recognize the importance of a families system through personal experience. In my family, i feel it is very unique when compared to my friends or cousins systems. In the situation of hosting a party at our house, the system works well together. My mother is usually the one who will cook the food. My father will be the one to go to the grocery store and get all the supplies ready for the get together. He will buy the alcohol, ingredients for the food, and the supplies for the table. This works out perfectly, as when he get home i will unload the car and bring everything inside. I will then put everything away or where it is needed; in most cases i would bring the food straight to my mom for her to start cooking. That is when my youngest sister will take all the necessary items to set the tables. The other younger sister will be helping the busy sisters by picking out their clothes, getting the nail polish ready, and having the hair curler hot and ready to go. While all this is going on, my oldest sister would be cleaning and wiping everything down in the house. This will allow for everything to be set and ready by the time guest are over. It has been this way for as long as i can remember and just happened this way naturally. While in contrast, i know my cousins family system is very different. My uncle will cook all the food while my aunt will clean the house. The two cousins will do the setting up and folding of tables. I feel each family is very unique when it comes to how it works. Each system is fit for each individual to master their task in order for the family to successfully get what needs to be done on time.

After reading about the different family communication patterns i began to notice the type of my family. In my family, there seems to be more conversation but will lower levels of conformity. This is from my own personal experiences. My sister may believe there is higher conformity orientations. Anyways, from my perspective, i feel my parents always do a good job of talking about a variety of situations. They will speak their beliefs about the situation but will not force conformity upon me. The easiest example i could think of is my tattoo. My parents hate tattoos, which is why i believed it was such a biased thought when i asked them if they like my design. Neither of them have tattoos and could not stress it enough how much i would hate it when im older. Of course i took this into consideration but still went my own path and got it. They did not force me to conform to their beliefs, but simply explained their thoughts about it. These actions and styles of parenting seems to fit the pluralistic side of the family communication chart.

Types of friendships was also another very interesting topic. I was able to relate to many of the different types of friendships. For example, i have a “youthful versus mature” type of relationship with a buddy back home. We grew up on the same block and would always hang out when we were younger. As we entered middle school we began to experience and develop new friendships with different groups. Although we do not currently belong to the same social friend groups, we are still very close. When we are both back from college we will hang out and chill like the old days. This made me realize the types of friendships that are long term and short term. He would be considered a long term friend as we grew up together and will stay connected. A short term friendship would be, for example, the guys on my dorm floor. We are all close now that we live with each other, but a few years from now i could not imagine developing a long term relationship with each and every one of them. Finally, the last type of friendship that i noticed having a huge impact on my life was task oriented versus relationship oriented. A Lot of the people at my work are all task oriented friends. We bond and revolve around the tasks we have to do at work. On the other hand, i have friends that i met in high school that have become relationship oriented. We were on a team together at one point in time, but we chill together outside of soccer and enjoy the emotional support from one another. We talk about music, our problems, or even future plans.

The relational turning point that i remember the clearest was with my second girlfriend. We sat next to each other in english class my senior year and vibed really well together. We started to hang out and get close after texting and snapchatting for weeks. It was pretty clear that we were going to eventually date as we were holding hands in the halls. Homecoming was coming up and someone told me she wanted me to ask her to the dance. I was excited as she was a very pretty girl. We went to the dance and had a good time. Then we went to her friends after party, and that is when i got mixed signals. It got pretty uncomfortable when i found out her past friend with benefit was there even though we were not dating. She ended up ignoring me the whole weekend. That was when i realized there was a relational turning point. It was pretty upsetting until i made it clear i was not happy with the whole situation. She was very sorry and explained how much she liked spending time together. She then invited me over to have dinner with her parents, another relational turning point, to show that we was serious about keeping out relationship. It turned into a romantic relationship soon after. There were a lot of different turning points in that relationship which i did not notice at the time, but now can easily pick out and recognize.

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blog 7

I use communication every day to either build off an existing relationship, or start a new one. The communication skills i used to build all my relationships with family, friends, and superiors all went through the same process. Although, no relationship is the exact same. I feel like this is partly because of the first stage of any relationship. The first stage is called initiating and i feel is most important. This is where i can really tell how strong someone wants a relationship with me. If they are every enthusiastic and show a lot of friendly expressions it is clear to me that they want a strong connection. Now that i have learned about this, i can look back and realize all my initiating stages either went positively or negatively. All the positive initiating stages are the people i see and wave to, or can pick up a conversation very easily. On the other hand, the people that gave off a negative type of communication are the ones i will rarely talk to even though i see them various places. It is funny thinking back to the moment when i could tell in each and every relationship if it was going to be a strong connection or weak.

Predictability-novelty dialectic is a very important term i feel that everyone should understand. In my opinion, i feel like this alone is what can end most relationships or even marriages. When you know someone so well it becomes unpredictable. You could ask them what they think about a certain situation or for some advice, but you already know the general response you will get. I feel like this is very dangerous for any couple or friendship because sometimes you are looking for a different answer or want a different point of view.  It can get very boring if you only go to one friend for help in all situations. This is why i think that most relationships end. Not that people are not good together, it just becomes too predictable over time. From personal experience and stories of other friends, every romantic relationship is really great for about the first six months. After that, it almost feels like it starts to fade. Of course every situation is different, but from my perspective of my own and other couples, this seems to be the case.

I have noticed some of the relationships i have made this year in college are greatly affected by the culture. On the soccer team there are a variety of international students. There are so many different cultures all placed into one team and it was a really interesting experience. For example, i am really good friends with Andreas, a student from Norway. The way we talk, hang out, and respect each other are one hundred percent completely different in comparison to my friends from Illinois. For example, the party culture here is nothing like in Scandinavia. I would never ask him to come out to a party with me mainly because i know for a fact he does not like the party culture here. I've talked to him about it many times mainly because it is an interesting concept. The usual response is that here in America it seems like people are drinking alcohol just to drink it. That americans just drink as much as they can as fast as they can just to blackout and not remember much. I thought this was an interesting topic so i asked him how it was back home. He explained that instead of just chugging everything their culture like to enjoy the good times. They will drink with friends and be more focused on having fun in comparison to trying to get as drunk as possible. Another example of culture affected relationships is with another foreigner on the soccer team. He is from china and is very focused on school. My relationship with his is drastically different to both american and norwegian relationships. He is very focused on his end goal of being successful and i always see him giving one hundred percent effort in everything he does. He is a really good friend but yet again i feel as if the cultural differences are present. He is always thinking about the end goal and focused on being successful. I feel like this is what is always on his mind. It is definitely a different perspective that i must keep in mind when interacting with him.

I have also picked up on, without knowing there was an actual term for it, that people will pay attention to what i am saying if they care. This immediacy is an important role in every communication. If i am talking to someone and they are not making eye contact or have no expressions on their face, it is easy to assume they are not listening. This can be very frustrating if i really need to say something or get some advice. Usually what ends up happening is i do not go back to that friend for help. I comprehend them not interacting as them not caring. On the other hand, when someone is really engaged in what i am saying it makes me feel as if they really want to help me with my problems.

Repeated relational transgression is what forced me to break up with my highschool girlfriend. We would always argue about how to act in certain situations and i would explain to her how it made me feel. When i thought we had the problem solved, prom weekend she did what she promised she would stop. This lead to a horrible few days which eventually lead up to our break up.  Her constant way of acting in certain situation would let me down causing stress and a toxic relationship.

Finally, the most important aspect of any relationship is the maintenance. I have to constantly keep up with and provide ongoing attention to specific relations in order to keep them successful and entertaining. There are many different ways to keep everything running smoothly. Personally i try and always keep it a positive climate so there never has to be awkward repairs. But that is not always the case. It is good to be open within the relationship so that it can be clear what my friend and i are looking for. By staying open, we can talk about whatever it is even if the climate did turn negative. I usually show signs of assurance if there does happen to be a disagreement. I will do this through constantly trying to meet up and figure out the problem. If that does not work, i will attempt to change the topic to something we did in the past to just remember the good times we have together. I have never had a situation where that did not indirectly work. Having the same social networks really helps improve relationships. I am friends with by buddies girlfriend so she can usually be neutral in our arguments. We will both explain our sides of the story and she will analyze and break down the pros and cons of each argument. This has helped in so many ways throughout being friends that this is usually our first resort. Finally sharing tasks is another way of helping ensure a positive relationship. I remember while working at panda express that everyone was always helping each other out. This helped me provided a strong relationship with everyone in the environment. Doing this will not only improve the environment but also the overall relationships with others. The type of help i will provide for one group usually makes me more open to provide help for other groups as well.

[natekekelik-blog]

blog 6

Nate Kekelik

Professor Barber

Interpersonal communication  

5 may 2019

I was able to relate to the term convergence in many ways. I adapt my speech style in every single form of communication. The most common situations i notice it in is with family, my friends, and school. When im with my family i have to use a style to speaking that will not offend anyone. I usually avoid saying bad words, don't make unnecessary jokes, and use a good tone that is respectful to everyone. This all helps keep the conversation climate fun and interactive for everyone. This, however, is not the case when i am with friends. When i am with friends i do not worry about monnorating what i say as much as i do with my family. Although i do try and focus more on the climate of the interactions. What i mean is that ill make jokes, curse, and use sarcastic tones but with respect to that individual. It usually becomes clear when someone goes too far or says the wrong things. Everyone just takes note of that and carries on. On the other hand, with my best friends, we are all just open with each other. We dont take alot of considerations when speaking. It is more of a free for all roasting each other and whatnot. Its all in good fun as we are all close and don't really what was said. Finally, school is the last major speech convergence i've noticed. When in class, unless i have a close friend, i will not really talk much; mainly because i was taught that the class room was not a place to be social. When i do, it is usually small talk about a recent test or upcoming projects. These different speech styles are all important as they are my unique ways of communicating.

I also noticed that nonverbal communication is another major part of my life. It is everywhere i go. I did not realize till after reading this chapter how common this type of communication was in my daily life. Whether it's during soccer, with friends, or even just walking down the street, nonverbal actions can say alot. When i am walking and i just had a bad day, i will most likely be slouching and have my head down. But on a good day, ill be strutting while looking up. It is such a important communication that even strangers can pick up on my mood even if i have never talked to the before. During soccer this can be a huge team factor. If i have a bad attitude it will probably show with my nonverbals. This could contribute to other teammates feeling the game is hopeless and that we are going to lose. Another example would be if i am making a run looking for a pass, and my teammate loses the ball, i could throw my hands in the air to show i am not happy with his mistake. That would not be positive as it could also provoke other teammates to get frustrated. On the other hand, if we as a team have good momentum, and come close to scoring, i could clap my hands to give the team a positive message to keep working hard.

Paralanguage is not as common as i feel i should make it in daily life. Emphasizing specific words in a statement could be really helpful when expressing my feelings. It could describe my true thoughts on a situation a lot more clearly. I could say something as bland as “i really like your shirt”. The receiver will get the message and feel good. But if i were to stress the “REALLY” when saying it to them, the receiver will definitely be able to tell that i honestly meant it. It is a good way to prevent miscommunications and express deeper emotions.

I noticed how much of an impact haptics make when communicating a message. In soccer, when someone gets subbed off the field, giving them a high five or fist bump will indicate that i think they did a good job. Giving contact is a good way to provide a deeper meaningful message. Same for the negative message. Just saying they need to work harder will not always be the most impactful. If the coach then grabs ones arm and then squeezes is, it stresses his importance. Outside of soccer, this can help improve romantic relationships. A simple kiss while fighting was always the right thing to do when me and my ex were in a disagreement. It would assure her that i still cared even though we did not see eye to eye.

Physical space is probably the most important and relatable term we learned about. There has to be a distinction between family, friends, and lovers of how close to get. I cannot stand when someone i just meet starts getting too close to me. I do not know them like that and when they put their arm around me like we are friends makes my blood boil. I guess it is fare to say that everyone is different and has their own opinions about personal space. I feel it is common for everyone to get uncomfortable when strangers do not know the social distance. Intimate distance is the only relationship that i feel comfortable with being close to. Even with close friends or personal distances i hate when people get in my space. Social distance is the most common that i personally feel like i encounter on the daily. when i go to the store or eat at a restaurant this is the space i feel most comfortable with. It is a respectable distance that does not invade on either parties territory. Finally, after learning about public distance, i realize that has been a huge part of schools. Teachers who lecture are always at this distance in order to one, include the large amounts of people, and two, to avoid any dialogue. After learning about this i began to think back and realize how true this was. I had a lot of different teaching styles throughout high school, and now college. Each one of them where either standing close, or at a further distance depending on their specific style. The ones who just wanted to use powerpoints and lecture the whole times were often further away and did not ask a lot of questions. The other teachers would stand closer and often provide a variety of activities. Most times this involved a lot of participation and interactions.

Chronemics is also part of everyday life. The major responsibilities that come with our cultures chronemics that are in my control is how fast i respond to my parents, coaches, or friends text messages. If i respond right away to a friend they might get the impression that i am bored and have absolutely nothing else to do. But, if i were to respond immediately to my coach, he might see it as me being responsible and making sure i get business taken care of. Chronemics can be a huge impact of what people think of me. I never realized that until now as i would usually just respond or get back to someone when i get a chance. By being on time, or not, it can greatly change the way one thinks of me. The final example i can relate back to my life is with soccer. If my coach texts me and tells me to bring cones, pennies, and balls to practice, i could either see it and bring the equipment, or respond to let him know i saw his text on time.

[natekekelik-blog]

Blog 5

This week in class we discussed chapter 8 and it was all about listening. The chapter provided a lot of useful terms that can be found in everyday life. Most terms, i did not even realize had such an important role in every conversation. We also did a very interesting activity with using the whiteboard to draw and one person to describe a picture. It was a fun and interesting way to look at listening.

The drawing game showed my how frustrating it can be if one is not given the right guidance and explanation. I saw my team struggling to get the correct picture drawn even though the speakers was explaining the picture in great detail. The tactics that seemed to work the most effective to me was when the reader would break down the picture into sections and coach the drawer on each individual line. I learned that it is easy to predict that everyone else can see exactly what i am describing when that is not the case. Of course everyone knows how to draw a duck or some object, but the hard part is getting the individual to see the duck in the same shape, size, and perspective as me. This drawling or duck can be a metaphor for any other situation that i am trying to communicate. I can experience something and try and explain it to everyone else, they just know what i'm saying. They don't understand the emotion behind it. After this activity, i realized that in order to have someone fully understand whatever it is i am trying to communicate, it requires a full break down of the situation. That i should go more in depth about the little things to help them be able to perceive what i am trying to say on a greater level. It was a very interesting activity that taught me a lot along with being fun.

We also talked about mindless listening. I notice i do this a lot more than i think. Everyday when i see a friend, ill ask them “whats up” or “how are you”. Its such a conditioned conversation that i feel most times people are not even listening. They could say, “pretty bad” instead of the usually, “pretty good”, and i would not even register it. I would carry on with my day and not even think twice about the usual conversation. This made me realize that the more mindless listening i do, the more it turns me into a zombie. Making it mindless listening a bad part of my communication skills.

Unfortunately i did not realize this until i was writing the blog right now, but about 20 minutes ago my friend came down to talk to me. He just came back from a crazy weekend at his friends college. I came down to a quiet space to do this blog. When he came down, he was very excited to tell me about his crazy visit. I was determined to get this done. I closed my computer and started to talk to him. He went on to tell his story. I was giving him small responses but still made it appear i was actively in the conversation. When he was talking i was pseudolistening. I did not fully care about his crazy weekend as i was more concerned about fulfilling new and improved requirements for the blogs. He might have been able to see i was not fully engaged in the conversation because soon after he just told me to come chill with him when i was done since he was going to leave and let me finish homework. I just learned that even if i put on an act to get the best of both worlds by listening to his story and thinking about what to write in the blog, it may result in my friend not caring to tell me a crazy story he has. It he can see i am not as excited about everything as he is, this might make his less likely to tell me stories in the future.

One term that stood out to me the most was ambush listening. I realize i do this so much. I possibly learned it as a self defense tactic from growing up with all sisters. They would always bother me and try and get me in trouble. I would not say much to them in an agreement but would take everything they said in. I would store it in the back of my mind so when they go to tell my parent on me, ill have some of the exact words they were saying before. This way i could either catch them lying or make them turn the trouble into nothing. I even notice i do this to this day. Whenever there is an argument i instantly go into a quiet but attentive state and just absorb all that i can. This way, if someone tries to turn the tables on me i'd be able to divert their attention from me back onto themselves. Even with an argument with my dad yesterday, he has said something to me in the past about the topic we were arguing about. I remembered what he said and explained its just like what he said to do. He got quiet and just let it be. He did not know what to say because i had just shown him it was something he did as well. The topic then got changed and so on it went. It is interesting to think that even the most random terms like “Ambush listening” have names and are common. I never looked at my listening style as a future ambush attack, but more of just a way to catch people changing their stories.

Finally , prompting was another term that stood out for me. It is a great way to keep people comfortable and to talk more. I am studying to be in some psychology field and i feel this is a key term. In a counseling session, if the trained professional is just sitting there with a straight face and no feedback when an individual is telling a story, it makes the individual feel like they are describing an unrelatable situation. By giving simple head shake and the occasional “uhh huuh”, it encourages the individual to keep talking and explaining how they feel. Even if the trained professional cannot comprehend what the individual is describing to them, by prompting them, they could possibly learn more about it. It works both ways, if the professional was constantly like “wait what” or “really?” if would discourage the speaker to continue. Everyone wants to have the feeling like they are understood and that's when they become comfortable. This is such an interesting term to see in everyday communication as i feel like it is the key to getting more depth and detail from any story. If you were to say “‘oh yes i understand“, when someone just finished telling a story, they will most likely re-explain the emotion they felt. It is a great way to make someone feel comfortable and understood even if you cannot fully understand the situation. I will definitely have to use this some point in my career and it is interesting seeing it in a book about everyday communication.  

[natekekelik-blog]

Blog 4

Nathan Kekelik

Professor Barber

Interpersonal Communication

20 April 2019

Week 4 Blog

The main concepts this week’s class focused on was improving communication climates and managing interpersonal conflicts. Both have proven to be very important in daily life and can be very simple to master. Communication climate is basically the emotional tone of the relationship or friendship. This is vital because every relationship i have is a different one. Managing interpersonal conflicts also plays a big role in my social, work, and school life. I learned it is very important to choose a adequate conflict resolution style as conflict can arise anywhere.

Starting with managing my interpersonal conflicts, I find myself in an argument every once and a while with some close friends. We have completely different ways of looking at certain topics just in general. I argue my side and he will argue him. We usually get pretty headed with each other as it can sometime be hard to walk a mile in their perception. Of course, the situation usually ends in a huge argument. This is where I have started to notice the class playing a role in my life. Since there have been many occasions we fight, I now notice all the different conflict styles I used. I think the very first time we had these types of talks that turned into a fight i used the avoidance style. We were not very close at the time so we did not want to completely give bad impressions of ourselves. We both had our separate views but did what we could to avoid a huge conflict. The second time was different though. We knew each other for a longer period of time and where not as concerned with how the other person felt. We stood up for our opinions a little bit stronger. Although we were being more aggressive, we still did not want to come off as a jerk to each other. In this situation we used the collaborating conflict style. We both decided that our views were different but neither one of them were the correct way of looking at the topic. We decided that we both won mainly because it was the differences in our perceptions that made us think that certain way. And finally, the most recent fight. This was the worst of them all. We have become so close of friends that we didn’t worry about the other person's feelings. We were standing one hundred percent four our own thoughts and ideals. The argument styles changed from innocent and working together to fighting and competing. We were both fighting to be right like it was the most important competition. There was cursing, name calling, and much more just to defend our opinions. It was a very interesting night. We also might have resorted to this style because it was very late at night when this happened. After last week's class and a few days to really think about all the lessons, i was able to realize conflict style is constantly being used when people disagree.

This lead to my coming of age moment with communication climate. The day after with huge argument that went way too far was kind of awkward. We both knew what we were saying was what we’ve always been thinking, but never should have been said. I learned that just because somethings need to be said does not mean they need to be heard. The climate of the communication we had for the few days after was tense. We did not really reach out to talk to one another but we were not avoiding each other at the same time. It was weird. The climate was so out of step that we did not know how to even try and fix it. It was the first time we were not able to be bros without having some weird vibes in the way. This made me see how important the climate of any relationship is. I started to learn from this and analized other relationships thinking of ways to improve them. I started to talk to teammates and coaches in a more friendly and goofy manner. I did this thinking that although it’s all business when it come to game time, but we can still have fun on the side.

What ended up happening with my friend was that we both acknowledged that it was too much said the night before. We dealt with it as simply as never speaking about it again. We both know that night happened, so any time something along the line of what was being said, we just carefully avoid it and mind our own business. After that there was no real conflict. I will not lie we have not get back to the same level of friendship we were before, but it is slowly getting better.

I could possibly use the saving face technique that was presented to the class by group 3 to resolve some of the conflicts. The behavior already happened so i would have to start with the interpretation. I could describe how the way he was acting and the behaviors he was displaying made him look like a jerk. I would then be able to include how it made me feel. By doing this i would explain that we could retain the high level of friendship we had before the whole situation. I would also explain how if we did not sit down and talk about it out friendship will just slowly get back to hopefully where it was. Finally, i would explain my intentions of just becoming close friends again with no bad blood.

[natekekelik-blog]

Blog 3

Nathan Kekelik

Professor Barber

Interpersonal Communications

15 April 2019

Blog 3

This week of class was very different in comparison to all the other weeks. We started the chapter presentations and got through two groups. My group was the first group to go and went on Tuesday. The second group presented the following class. There was a lot of different things I learned within week 3. The main things I learned and can connect to my daily life is as follows: different public speaking skills, perception checking, working with different types of people to get a project done, and more.

I am starting to learn and notice that public speaking is a skill that only get better with practice. If someone were to tell me i was going to have to give a 30 minute presentation before the interpersonal communications class started, I prolly would have freaked out. After doing a couple small speeches about my life and got comfortable, I realized that public speaking is not the worst thing in the world. I began to reflect back on why and what would cause me so much stress from them. I think the idea of saying the wrong things, spacing out and forgetting everything, or something along those lines is deep down everyone's fear. Now i realize all that could easily be avoided. Days before i had to give the speech i made sure that i knew exactly what i was going to talk about. This alone eliminates a lot of that fear. I practiced saying it outloud or in my head randomly throughout the days before the speech. This gave me the confidence I needed to not be nervous while walking up to the front of the class. Not only this, but i also learned that before presenting, i must check every possible thing that could go wrong; just to make sure it doesn't. Unfortunately i learned this the hard way. We forgot to check the volume of the computer before presenting.  So when we started playing the videos, it was very hard to hear and caused us to panic. We soon fixed the problem, but it could have easily been avoided. Finally, I learned that I have to speak up when during a group presentation. Yea it would be nice to let the outgoing people speak all the time, but that just reflects poorly on myself. I realized that all the days i spent practicing was time wasted as i did not show my intelligence about the subject. Next time giving a speech with a group,  i will have to stand my ground and make sure i come across and an expert on the matter that im presenting.

This week i also learned about the importance of perception checking. I never realized how important this was. Now that i take a step back and see, it is apart of every single interaction with family, friends, and coaches. There are so many different ways a message could be misunderstood. Although there may be a lot less miscommunications with people i interact with on the daily, it is a very important skill to have when dealing with everyone. Something as small as a tone of voice could have a completely different meaning when taken out of context. Just by noticing the behavior, comprehending it as two or more possible meanings could make the world of difference. Although a lot of people do not like to deal with confrontation, just by asking for a deeper explanation of the action could save one’s reputation, first impression, or future conflicts. There are alot of other factors such as nonverbal actions, cultural rules, and previous encounters with a person that could impact an action. That is why i realized it is better to be safe than sorry and just asking for clarification. Before I learned about this, i had an incident on the soccer team with my coaches. Freshmen were assigned to bring all the equipment needed out for practice (cones, balls, goals, and bibs). As a freshman i completed the duties assigned and went to practice. During practice we noticed that there was no water bottles to drink from after each drill. The coaches explained that having water bottles was apart of our duties even though it was not mentioned to us. If i were to have noticed the importance of this checking skill earlier, we would not have ran into that inconvenience. I would have double checked with the coaches exactly what they meant by equipment.

Finally, I learned that working with a group of strangers for the first time usually requires sacrifice for the greater good. My group wanted to get a head start on the project, which i thought was a great idea so we did not have to cram. They were set on having meetings on Friday and Saturday nights. Personally, I would have like to meet earlier in the day so I can relax and hang out with friends at night. Of course I was not going to say, so i looked at the bigger picture and accepted that it would not be a big deal to miss out hanging with friends. Although it was hard to stay focused on a friday night, our group was able to accomplish a lot. This taught me alot about working with groups. I learned that everyone has their own perception of getting things done early. I saw their perspective of why they wanted to get a jump start on a friday instead of taking a few days off from school and coming back to it. I realized that all the information we were going to talk about was fresh in our minds so it would only make sense to do it as soon as possible.  It was an interesting experience that i will not forget for future projects.

[natekekelik-blog]

week 2

Nate Kekelik

Professor Barber

Interpersonal Communication

8 April 2019

Blog week 2

This week in class we had a lot of personal activities that helped make us be more comfortable with ourselves. The two projects were called “Who I Am” and “My Life is a Lie”. I think they were put in a good order as of when they must be complete mainly because the first project helped me realize who i really am. Then the second project made me realize I should not have to lie about my life as everyone has stuff they are dealing with. They both brought valuable lessons.

The first project this week was “Who I Am”. We had to make an accurate description of our lives based on who we feel we are. The positives and the negatives. Some of the most important reflections of myself that I put down were “I’m not very close with my family”, “I am not a good public speaker”, and “I am quiet and shy”. These are pretty important in my daily life so I only felt it would be right to add this to my project. The responses I received where awesome. A bunch of people explained how they too are very reserved and quiet. Some even explained how their level of shyness affects their relationships until they become comfortable. A whole bunch of others respond to how they are not great public speakers as well. Their advice was that practice makes perfect. Lastly, I had a list of responses to my reflection about family. I did not realize how many other people where in the same situation as I was. This helped me be able to look around at other and realize everyone has problems of their own. It taught me that it is important to not judge the book by its cover. For example, there were some people in the class that I never would have guessed would be dealing with the problems they have. This was an overall great project as it taught a lot of different lessons about myself and others.

The second project we did this week was a good add on to “Who I Am” project. The point of the assignment was to present to the class multiple occasions where we lied on social media. Although it may sound bad, it was not too hard for me to find examples. This is not mean i’m an impulsive liar, I like to think of it as stretching the truth about things that don't matter at all. My examples where about me saying i was 21 years old in my twitter header in order to make it seem like I am older. This seemed like such a small innocent thing that I did not think of it being too big of a deal. Next i talked about how i put my location in california for an instagram post with my friends. Again, I thought it was just funny because i was nowhere close to where i would have liked to have been. I was just in some boring Indiana backyard. Finally, I showed an example of text messages to friends. I lied about not having money to hang out with them but in reality i just did not want to go. I realize this is a more serious lie and it is actually affecting people versus my previous lies on social media. This project helped me realize that although the lie i might tell does not seem serious to me, it can really affect how others look at me after they find the truth. It also made me realize how many people lie just in general. I thought others were going to have a hard time thinking of examples, but everyone in the class had great situations that they explained. This shows me that everyone lies in one way or another. They may be innocent white lies but can change the whole reality of the situation.

Both of these projects helped everyone in the class realize that we all have problems to deal with. That no one is perfect and most of us are dealing with similar problems. I thought it was brilliant how we started off the week with describing who we feel like we are through self reflection. It gives a different perspective from an outsiders view that helps understand why someone acts a certain way or carries themselves. This activity is one that I feel everyone will remember years from now. It's not often that you have to explain positives and negatives about yourself to a group of people AND then all of them being able to relate to you. Even if they were not able to relate, they offered some advice and a positive attitude to help make a better you. This project was just a huge confidence booster as no one was in the classroom with a judgmental attitude. This lead to the “My Life is a Lie” project. After everyone got comfortable with each other in the previous class, we were forced to explain unnecessary lies. I thought this was cleaver because it helped me realize that you don't have to lie in order to seem cooler that you are. We all learned the previous class that we are all ordinary and aren't perfect. Something clicked in my mind after Thursday's class as i realized there is no point to lie on social media. We all just learned the previous week how similarly unperfect we are, so what's the point of trying to hard to seem cooler than anyone else. This was a very interesting week as there was a lot of great lessons learned.

[natekekelik-blog]

week 1

Nate Kekelik

Professor Barber

Interpersonal Communication

1 April 2019

Interpersonal Communication 200 seems like a perfect class to get me out of my comfort zone. I am terrified of public speaking and contemplated dropping the class because of this reason. I was emailing my advisor days before the class even started hoping I would be able to replace it with a more comforting class. I read the syllabus and instantly started having anxiety, seeing how many presentations the class requires. When the first day of class came, I woke up about 2 hours early to mentally prepare for what the first day would consist of. I showed up about 20 minutes early just to make sure I got a seat in the back of the class. I did not know anyone in the class so it forced me to become more outgoing and talk to people i've never met before. At the end of class I realized the course should not be terrible as long as I stayed on top of the reading and assignments. Before we left I was told we had to perform a skit at the beginning of next class with our newly assigned groups. Instantly became anxious again. Even though it was a small and easy task, I automatically freaked out. This time, instead of contemplating dropping the class, I decided I would suck it up and fight through the fear of public speaking. The skit turned out to be pretty successful and was not as bad as I thought it would be. After that, I came to a realization that I can always run and be scared of public speaking, or I could fight through it and practice the skills that will only better me in the future. This is the first way the class has already impacted my life. Just through the small and silly exercise, I was able to see how much of an impact this class can help me. I already feel more confident for future presentations.

After just one week in the class I have learned how much communication matters in everyday life. There is communication everywhere I look, signs on a streat, media, TV, newspaper, and, of course, face to face talking. I never realized how important communication was to physical needs. I communicate every time I ask my friends if they want to go get food, if they want to go play soccer, or even just to have someone to talk to. It has also showed me that the way i speak is the way I identify myself. How i say something, what words i use, and even the tone I use can all be traced back to who I am and what i believe as a person.  Without it, i would become socially withdrawn. I socialize with others in order to be happier. When i walk to class i would rather be able to say “hey” to friends and peers rather than just walking with my head down not knowing anyone. Being able to socialize with new people makes life a lot easier. It is easier to be happy when there are a variety of people to talk to. Not only helping my physical, identity, and social needs, communication has helped with practical goals. I was able to tell my parents i need some extra money for books, or tell my coach where and how my injury is. Communication happens everywhere and is becoming more clear because of this course.

I now realize the linear communication model is everywhere. The television is a great example of it. It sends a message without being able to receive any information. This is true whenever i listen to music as well. The transactional model is easier to explain in my daily life as it is all interaction on the daily basis. If i am loud enough my message can get through the noise and to the person i am trying to talk to. I've found it is easier to talk to someone face to face rather than over the phone or at a far distance. It is easier to pick up on body language and facial expressions. I have to use different environments when talking to different people. I have to understand that certain people have different environments. I cannot talk to my buddies the same way i would talk to my coach. This would most likely get me into trouble as he has authority over me. Where as my friends would be in the same environment grouping that would allow a more slang way of talking and communicating. This class has also helped me understand that i need to carefully plan my words. Sometimes i may unconsciously murmur words after talking to someone. Whether it is good or bad, the way the person interprets it is key. It may come across as rude or negative. The person might not always respond to my murmur, but they will definitely comprehend it as a message. The next time they see me they might have a different impression of me based on their interpretations of the previous encounter. A similar situation i have been in before was at a soccer party. I walked in and saw a bunch of friends. I said hey to most of them but one of them was in a conversation with someone i did not know. I did not want to be rude and interrupt their conversation. So i decided i would eventually see him later on in the night and say hello then, but as i was walking away he called me out. He got very defensive and said it was rude how i come into his house for a party and don't even say what's up to him. I tried to explain my thought process to him but he did not seem like he cared. He just ignored it and carried on. Now that i have learned from this experience i will definitely try and analyse any future situation similar to this one.