nathanwendel-blog

[nathanwendel-blog]

The UnKnown

pending medical clearance, I am going to Albania on January 15th, 2018. The past year has been nothing short of planning, worrying, & losing hope over my future. I’ve experienced disappointment, mercy, love, and redemption. I’ve gone from knowing exactly what my future would look like to being lost in a sea of confusion. I’ve experienced more grace than I deserve, but through all, God’s will be done. 

Yes, my future seems to have some concrete plans as of now, but I’ve learned to hold those plans with hands wide open. Instead of fretting over my future as I grasp on as tightly as I can, I’m learning to live with my future & hands open towards heaven. Ultimately, I do not control my future. But I can rest in the promises of the one who does.

And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

more to come, pending medical clearance. 

Cheers

[nathanwendel-blog]

today is the day

As I type this, I should be boarding a plane to being my journey to Botswana for the next two years as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Instead, I am sitting on a couch with a little weird looking dog. The past few weeks have been strangely difficult. I haven’t been struggling with not being able to go to Botswana. I haven’t been struggling with the fact that I failed the NCLEX. But I have been struggling with the fact that my apathy towards studying for the NCLEX has completely changed the next two years of my life. At first, I was completely reassured that it was going to be for the better and that God was going to use it for His glory. And I truly believe that He will use my circumstances for His ultimate glory. But I can’t help and wonder what I & the others that I would have been living with are going to miss out on because I’m not going to be there. I imagine this will be something I continue to question over the coming months.

However, today will not be a day of sorrow, but one of celebration. Yes, I am not going to Botswana, but I am going back to Colorado. I have reapplied for the Peace Corps & while I feel that God is leading me towards this new position with the Peace Corps, I am not limiting my future to this one position. I have no idea what the next few years are going to hold except that God will be glorified. If I get accepted into this new position, I would leave early January 2018. But like I said, I have no idea whether or not this is going to work out. But while in this period of waiting, I have decided to spend the fall semester with Camp Timberline (EXP). This means I’ll be living up near Estes Park, CO for the next few months, helping run the camp as we have various retreats come up to camp.

The big question. Why don’t I go work in a hospital as a nurse till I figure out what I'm doing with my life? Well, this has crossed my mind multiple times, but as I won't be taking the NCLEX again till August 1st, I wouldn't be able to start working for a few more weeks (if I found a job) and then the hospital would spend weeks to months orienting and training me. By the end of my training, I would be weeks to maybe a month away from moving on to whatever comes next in my life. I’m not sure that any hospital would hire me with the life of my job being only a few weeks to months after getting out of training. But, this is not the biggest issue. I want to do something in the fall in which I will be surrounded by other believers who can continue to encourage and speak truth into my life as I prepare for the next season of life which could possibly be very void of other believers (country I am applying for has a very very small population of believers).

Like I said, I feel as if God is leading towards the Peace Corps & this new position, but I am not so set on this, that I am not open to other possibilities. Whether the Peace Corps or not, my plan is to have something lined up by early 2018. If anyone knows of organizations or opportunities overseas that involved nursing, mission, or preferably both, I would love to hear them!

Cheers

[nathanwendel-blog]

SORROW + JOY

The other night I planned on sleeping in my van at a trailhead in Rocky Mountain National Park. Around 10:00 pm I got out of my van to go to the bathroom, when I came back to the van, it was locked; along with my shoes, socks, blankets, and anything else that was going to keep me warm. I spent the next 9 hours trying to stay warm in the trailhead restroom, longing for morning and the warmth of the sun.

During those 9 hours, I kept repeating the words in my mind, “sorrow may own the night, but joy comes in the morning.” I knew that no matter how miserable and cold I was, the morning would come, I would be fine, and soon, it would be only a story to tell. However, as the hours rolled by, my perspective started to shift. Yes, I was still freezing, but like I said, I knew morning would come. My mind went to the millions of people living in constant pain, in constant sorrow, not knowing if, or when, morning will come. I realized then, that joy does not come in the morning. Joy is a choice. It is always present, waiting for us to choose it. However, in my life, I only seem to choose joy in the morning, or when pain & sorrow are absent.

I say all this because I recently found out that I failed the NCLEX. I have to wait 45 days before I can take the test again. But the group for Botswana leaves in 30 days. This means that I can no longer join the team going to Botswana. I had to withdraw my application. I had to leave behind something that I’ve spent the past six months anticipating and preparing for. I grieve the loss of what could have been. I may not have known the village I would live in, the people I would encounter, or the relationships I would develop, but Botswana somehow already felt as if it were a part of my life. While it feels like I’m in one of the darkest nights, I can rejoice knowing that my story doesn’t end here.

And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

I can no longer join the team to go to Botswana, but that does not mean that my story with the Peace Corps is over. I truly feel that the Peace Corps is something that God is leading me in and instead of viewing this as the end, I choose to view it as a minor setback in the grand scheme of things. I will be applying to another country, but at this point, I do not know what God has in store. I do know that He is faithful and that, in my waiting, and in the night, I will choose Joy. // James 1:2-4

[nathanwendel-blog]

what on earth am i doing?

On July 21st, I depart for Botswana as a Peace Corps Volunteer for the next 27 months. I will be a part of the Health & HIV/AIDS Capacity Building Specialist: Clinic and Health Team. If you don’t know where Botswana is or what it means to be a part of a Clinic & Health team, you are not alone. Botswana is located in Southern Africa. It is the country about South Africa and is landlocked. Some important info about Botswana: it has the second highest prevalence of HIV/AIDS in the world, while they are a developing country, their economy is growing and their biggest setback has been the HIV/AIDS epidemic. If you want to learn more about Botswana, I’ve found that Wikipedia does a decent job of summarizing. // https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Botswana // 

On to what I’ll be doing while I'm there. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. And it will most likely stay this way until I arrive in Botswana. What I will be doing completely depends on where in the country I am placed as well as the needs in the community. However, I will most likely be working in a small village (or at least, that’s what I’m praying for) and I will either be placed in a clinic, health post, or District Health Management Team (DHMT). While I did graduate with my BSN and hopefully will become a registered nurse shortly, I will not be directly serving in a nursing capacity. Here is a list I was given of possible ways that I might be serving:

HIV prevention, community health education, community outreach

Promotion of HIV programs and services, including HIV testing, prevention of mother-to-child transmission, HIV treatment and adherence, early infant diagnosis of HIV, safe male circumcision, home-based care and orphan care 

Support for people living with HIV/AIDS and those affected by HIV/AIDS 

Gender awareness and girls’/women’s empowerment 

Augment the School – Health Program 

Youth work through Life Skills education with in- and out-of-school youth

Food security through permagardening and nutrition education 

Capacity building of clinic/DHMT staff and systems strengthening, including logistics and supply chain management; All CHT Volunteers are trained in supply chain management 

Reporting, monitoring, and evaluation of HIV/AIDS Programs 

Participation in the District Evidence-Based Planning for the HIV response

Network building, patient tracking, and referral systems 

Malaria elimination (if placed in a malarial area)

When I arrive in Botswana at the end of July, I will go through 3 months of intensive training that will include cultural training, job training, safety, and language training. After three months of training, I will be placed in a village (based on the needs of the village and my skill set) where I will be the only Volunteer. While there are continued training and opportunity for language lessons, by the end of training, I need to sufficiently speak the language, Setswana. Does it blow my mind that in less than 5 months, I will be speaking a new language? YEAHHHHHH. It’s crazy scary, but also, crazy exciting!

Other things: I may or may not have electricity in my home. Even If I do have electricity, it most likely will not be reliable. I may or may not have running water. I will be living at the level of the community, not above them. So I will not be staying in a nice hotel or facility but will live in the same type of housing as those in the community. This will most likely be a small concrete house, or mud hut (I absolutely LOVE that I get to live with the people and not above them. It will better help me understand what they go through on a daily basis and will better help me integrate into the community. This is a volunteer position, so I will not be getting paid for the next 27 months. I will get money for food, housing, transportation, etc... But again, It will only be enough to live at the level of those in my community, not above them. I will have internet access. However, as to whether that will be daily, weekly, or monthly is TBD. It purely depends where I’m placed and the internet availability in those locations. I will be able to continue running. The people of Botswana are extremely friendly from what I’ve heard. During the three months of training, I will be with upwards of 50 other volunteers that will be serving in Botswana in various roles. Alsoooo, Botswana has freedom of religion so sharing the gospel has a big fat green light!

While I am filled with JOY of what’s to come, the past few weeks have also been filled with fear of the unknown. I am walking into a 2-year long position in which I am nowhere near ready to take on. I am leaving to fly across the world and live in a country I’ve never been to and move into a village that currently is unknown. While fear seems to be by my side wherever I go, It is immensely comforting to know that my God is already in the “unknown” He is already there with the people and He will be by my side every step of the way. There is no promise in the bible that our lives will be filled with comfort and ease. However, when we walk through trials and battles, we ARE promised strength to get through the day. We are promised continual strength to keep going. BUT that strength can only be found in God. This is where my heart must be over the next months as I prepare and head into Botswana. I already know I don’t have the strength or courage to move forward. But I can rejoice knowing I serve a God that will continually grant the strength and courage to keep moving!

Can’t think of anything else to say as of now. But I will be posting updates/blogs/whatever fairly often. Some may be funny, some may be serious & sad, some may be long, while others short. But whatever it is, I plan on being honest and sharing not only the joys of joining the Peace Corps but also the struggles. I will be sharing all the posts on facebook, but you can also follow along at // https://nathanwendel.tumblr.com/ //

Cheers