nature-played-a-trick-on-me

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A lock of Lucrezia Borgia's hair in a glass case at the Pinacoteca Ambrosiana, Milan, Italy.

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Unfortunately cleaning and tidying do feel useful so guess that's what I'm doing today.

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'la conchita, edward james, xilitla, san luis potosí, mexico, ca. 1945-1984' in my house, my paradise: the construction of the ideal domestic universe - gustau gili galfetti (1999)

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Are you ever consistently so bored it's genuinely making you unhappy?? I don't have /anything/ meaningful to do in my life for real and I'm working towards volunteering but I need support and I'm waiting on the bureaucratic aspect of that.

And idek what to do with my time. Ive a stack of books to read and even more ebooks and I have knitting projects to work on but it all feels rather futile. Like it's nice to have like a few weeks or few months even without pressing responsibilities but I've been drifting aimless for over a year and all my self imposed projects feel dull and NOT stimulating at all. No hobby can fill the void I fear.

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Btw your friends should want to accommodate you as much as they can. Even if it's something "silly" or "small", you should be able to tell your friends if something triggers or upsets or harms you in any way and they should actively want to avoid doing that if they can.

Tell your friends that you have a phobia of jellyfish. Tell your friends that the pattern of mosaic tile in the subway triggers your OCD. Tell your friends that not being able to fit in the seats at the restaurant is uncomfortable as hell and makes you feel self conscious. Tell your friends that you can't eat somewhere if they can't properly accommodate your allergies. Tell your friends that you can't walk as far/fast as them because of joint pain. Tell your friends you have misophonia.

Your friends should care enough about you to want you to be comfortable. You are not putting an unreasonable burden on them by politely requesting that they be understanding of your needs and do their best to accommodate you.

I check the bathrooms in restaurants/cafes/etc. for my friend with contamination OCD who struggles if the bathrooms aren't clean. I volunteer to go around our campsite removing slugs before my friend with a phobia of them comes out of her tent. I look up photos of a restaurant online and check that they have enough space to accommodate my friend's wheelchair without him being constantly jostled. I will call up a place to check their allergen procedures before taking my shellfish-allergic mum out to eat somewhere new. I avoid wearing my moth-print clothing and accessories around my friend who has a phobia because just looking at the pattern of the wings freaks her out.

These things are not difficult or burdensome, they just take a little extra thoughtfulness and consideration of the people I care about and their comfort/wellbeing. If anyone tries to make you feel unreasonable for asking them to do this kind of thing, they are failing you. Sometimes it's not possible to directly accommodate things, but trying is the bare minimum you should be able to expect from people who claim to love you. You're not asking for too much.

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learning that addiction is a progressive narrowing of the range of things that make one happy was kinda life changing for me. i apply it to everything not even just addiction i am always checking to ask if i am narrowing my range of happiness or widening it

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Hey don't cry, okay? We just found Attenborough’s long-beaked echidna, a species thought to be extinct for the past 60 years.

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having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed

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Unique …

Philippe Wolfers (1858-1929), Art Nouveau ‘Glycines’ choker. Gold, carved watermelon tourmaline, carved opal, ruby, garnet; marked Ex: Unique’ for Unique Issue, number 126 of the Catalogue of Unique Items by Philippe Wolfers and numbers 108 and 111 of the workshop Brussels - Designed circa 1900-1901. Fine Jewels Period

Image: © TEFAF 2018

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🍂 🍂 🍂

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'la conchita, edward james, xilitla, san luis potosí, mexico, ca. 1945-1984' in my house, my paradise: the construction of the ideal domestic universe - gustau gili galfetti (1999)

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cross the log with mama

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historical linguistics is so cool/sad. there's just so much we can never know.

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The green haze