naupactus

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This has got to be the most incomprehensible thing I’ve ever read this is a reply to a dumbass pick up artist twitter thread but it sounds like a riddle that you’d be given 3 chances to solve before getting thrown in the gallows

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I just think she deserves to be in pretty outfits

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The lamb did nothing of note on Broadway and nothing bad or weird happened

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A bread is one of the most vulnerable animals on earth of all time. It can die in a number of different ways, which include being smashed, being old, being rottened, being crumpled up, getting too hot, having water put on it, and having water not on it but being in the air a lot (the water (mist)). The bread’s favorite way to die is being eaten, but the world is a complicated place, and it does not care for what the bread wants, and so it dies in a variety of ways which are not the preference of the bread.

Humans are considered the bread’s natural predator, and also, are the bread’s mommy (make/give birth to the bread). Humans are a large species of ant or plant or ele phant with two grasping appendages which they use to give birth to the bread. They also have one hole which eats the bread, and some other holes, which the bread is not allowed near, generally.

Some bread can go in the fridge. Some bread has fruit in it. Scientists don’t know why, as putting fruit in the bread is considered yucky, and scientists have difficulty imagining an organism that likes yucky things.

There is the anteater, which is an organism that likes yucky things, but scientists do not need to imagine it, because it is real.

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Hamas, Israel, tank, shells, rockets, quadcopter, F-16, Khalil al-Hayya, Yahya al-Sinwar, Abbas.

My children Hussein (7 years old) and Rajaa (5 years old) do not repeat words of love or play as childhood should, but instead words far greater than their age slip from their mouths.

Their childhood, which was meant to be built on innocence, learning, and connection, has turned into a vocabulary of war that no small heart should know yet it has become their daily language.

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This looks like a dream to me

I want to be warm on blankets in the washing machine so bad

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i love having breasts

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guitars are a species of instrumect most internationally famous for its self-proclaimed aura of mystique and romance, but Did You Know? Most guitars partake in r-selection rathdr than K-selection: that is to say, rather than spending many resources on one or two offspring in hopes that they both survive, these stringed beasts will lay over one thousand eggs every day!

Sadly, the nature of the guitar larva's life means that of every few hundred guitarva, only one will ever reach adulthood, with the rest of its siblings staying in their thin, colorful pupae called a plectrum for the rest of their lives.

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you watch a car commercial and the car is presented as a masculinity carapace and this idea persists as if we don’t all know that the car is actually a second womb and every arrival + subsequent exit from the vehicle is a rebirth — it’s obvious why straight men feel such an attachment, and doubly obvious why they don’t want you to know. the trained eye can locate the mother wound of every car driver within seconds.

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@cat-with-a-keyboard

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Choose one

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