naveedhillon

[naveedhillon]

Today someone said that I donot deserve good things in my life ..I cant get things i want..I cant get married to a gud person..why? Because i hav lost my parents and my grandfather..So basically, i m not gud enough to hav anything gud in my life ahead..Is that so???? But i dont think so...

I m deserving of everything the best in my life and I m capable nd I m gonna have the best life ahead!! Divine is unfolding my life in the best ways possible..I m gonna get the best joys of my life...I believe in myself snd I m worthy of everything super best in my life..Attagirl!!

[naveedhillon]

Do I really like to miss someone like crazy when the otherself is not giving a shit about you even in your hardest times..What we can expect of anyone close to us to be with us, to understand us in our harder times.. Is it too much to ask about??? Or may be i shoupd stop expecting from even the closest persons of my life!!

[naveedhillon]

24 july 2020

Just watched 'Dil Bechara' ..A tribute to Sushant Singh Rajput.

It beautifully conveyed the message that we can't chose how to be born or die..but we can definitely chose 'How To Live' ...And the same message has bern conveyed by the life of Dada g- my grandfather....How strongly he lived his life with full zeal and zest even when he lost his own children on the way!!

I can chose how i want to live!! I want to live with dignity and grace...I want to be happy..I want to feel alive ...I want to live each and every dsy of my life to the fullest...I want to laugh and laugh more...I want a happy and a simple life..

I will live my life with the same willpower, zeal and zest as my grandfather lived his life..Never gonna step back from living it fully....All these dreams of becoming successful will be possible surely..but i want to live peacefully and happy despite all the pain...

LIFE IS IMPORTANT!

[naveedhillon]

I AM WORTHY OF EVERYTHING THE BEST....AND I CAN MAKE THE BEST TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!

[naveedhillon]

TIMING!!!!!!!

[naveedhillon]

RAB DI RZAA .....

[naveedhillon]

19 July....a brave, fearless and zindadil soul has gone forever

[naveedhillon]

HOPE AND WILLPOWER

We both will make it through .....Me and Mani

Both of us will do hardwork and beat our destiny

I m do it for myself and for him too. .We r gonna rise together in this battle..

I m gonna lift him up...

We r both gonna make our own destinies !!!!

[naveedhillon]

TRUST

Hey!!! Trust noone except yourself.

Everything u dream of today u will definitely get in your life further.Never stop trusting yourself!

U will be there where u ever want to be..Never ever allow anyone to break you...

REMEMBER! YOU ARE YOU!! AND NOONE CAN EVER REPLACE YOU..YOU R ORIGINAL AND STAY ORIGINAL!! YOU R PRECIOUS AND YOU MATTERS A LOT ..ATLEAST TO ONE PERSON IN UR LIFE...SO, FOR THAT LIFE NEVER EVER LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF AND STAY POSITIVE, CONFIDENT AND DREAMMMMMMMMM BIGGGG!!!!!

ALL LOVE TO MYSELF!!

[naveedhillon]

PERSEVERANCE , HARD WORK , FAITH AND CONSISTENCY.....THATS ALL I'M GONNA HAVE

[naveedhillon]

SELF-BELIEF

I believe in myself

I trust myself

I will stay calm in difficult situations and will handle them

I will fear of nothing now

I will believe in my actions

I will live for my dreams

I will work hard for my dreams

I will work for my dreams until I attain them

I will not be afraid of the world

I will not think too much about the future

I will not be afraid of what people might think about me

I will do what I want to do and follow my heart

I will not get caught in this materialistic world

I will always stay clear in my mind

I m who I m and noone gonna change that

The only thing that would matter to me would be my family and me

No fear of the world

I will definitely win my dreams

I CAN AND I WILL!!

[naveedhillon]

Dont want to go...but have to....seriously the care, love and warmth which i felt here in all these days is priceless nd felt this after a very long time....Really feels gud to be here...

This time shall pass neeru..This is the testing time and this time is for ur hard work and to march towards ur goal..This will pass surely!!!

[naveedhillon]

DARR

Kyi kyi vaar bht dar lgda time to...es samein to..Boht kuch khoya sade to es samein ne. Jdo v kde koi gal krde aa purani tan aivn lgda h k eh tn hje kal di tn gal h , jfo mummy daddy hunde c te apa eh karde c oh karde c....But eh time bht zalim h...jdo kde v kuch yad aunda pichle beete time da tn dil ch kde v himmat nhi paimdi oh sab yaad krn di...aivn lgda k eh sach m ajj v accept ni kr skdi mummy daddy da....eh gal sochi vni jandi kde kde k oh sade kol ajj nhi h...ja chuke h hmesha lyi te kde vvapis mud k nhi aunge...Bas anjaan ban k zeona hi hun asan lga bina kuch soche beete time bare te sirf sochna apne ajj te future bare...kynki mera dil ajj v mammi nu yad krn di himmat nhi rakhda...hmesha anjaan ban k rehna choni aa k bs mainu jivn zpne mummy daddy bare kuch pta hi nhi...ohna nal jo time bitaya ohnu apne dil ch hmesha smaa k rakhna choni aa...but aje v ohna nu yaad nhi kr skdi khul k..himmat nhi h mere vich!! Kynki main kamjor ni pai skdi hun har vaar apne dukhan nu yad kr k...es lyi anjan bnya hi chnga..

Par, mainu hun v es samein to bht dar lgda..hun mere kol piche khon nu kuch reh v ni gya enna...But, fr v mainu dar lgda jdo kde kise di dhille hon di khabar sundi aa...Sab samne h but fr v dar lgda bht bb chache nu khon to...apne ton door jaan to..bht shikyatan ohna nal..but fr v main ohna nu enni jldi khona nhi chondi.

Bhut dar lgda kyi vaar apne pyaar nu apne to door hon to..Lgda k sare bht swaal krnge mere to...bht ungla uthangia mere te...te pta nhi koi baah fdu v k na...par, bht dar lgda ohde bina rehn to...Main apne app nu, apni kismat nu hmesha cursed hi manya k mainu zindgi ch kde koi oh cheez nimilu jo mainu dilo bht pasand h...Te ohda milna mainu bht aukha lgda...M bina ma baap di dhee te utto sab to vaddi eh kadam chakugi tn sare pta nhi ki sochnge mere bare.. Lokan to enna dar nhi lgda...Dar lgda daddy de jaan mgro ode naam de khrab hon da ....J daddy hunda tn shayd mere chbjt himmat honi c...hun pta nhi kyn lgda k mere ch himmat nhi ayu....Par, eh sab krn to phla m zindgi ch kuch banna choni aa..apni ijjat kmona choni aa...tn jo mere kol atleast ik cheez tn hove jo mainu thoda upper utha ske mere zindgi diya kamian cho...

Pta nhi es zindgi ne kitho tak lai k jana...kuch pta nhi aggo ki hona...aivn hibadkismati chldi rhu..k ya koi sachha sukh v milu zindgi ch...Umeed bht ght h zindgi ch kuch achaa hon ya miln di but hai jroor umeed...te eh m kde nhi chadna chondi..kynki ehi mera shara h zindgi ch agge vdn da!!!

[naveedhillon]

BIG TURN

And there life takes us now...Today for the first time i took a stand for the right thing ...but this action brings a huge sadness...literally donot know wt to write but i just want to pour it out...cant take inside me this anymore...feeling disgustimg...feeling separated...feeling the unknown feeling....feels like i lost the most imp person in my life....But, what i did was for the cause of truth and this was the right thing to do....

But i did nt want that person to b hurted a lot....it feels like a forever friendship has come to an end which it should nt have...

But may be how things were supposed to be ended....But i believe it strongly inspite of all what have happnd today is we r gonna meet once again in our lives.....with more open hearts,with more purity, with more stronger bond......He s gonna come back i know it for sure nd for that tym things are gonna be refreshed totally and may be we can start from a new phase then with no hesitations nd ill will about each others.....Definitely i m gonna wait for his self realization and a new comeback!!!! But now i m feeling disgusting like hell!!!

[naveedhillon]

I m gonna do it!!

Here, today i m confessing something.. I always remain stressed over the loss of mummy and daddy....i stress about our home....i stress about my future, my brother nd sister s future, I stress about my future and marriage with gabbar, I stress about dada dadi, I stress about getting a job nd whetger i will b something in my life??????

I stress about not being able to study during last 4 months

I stress about giving my tine to everyone but not giving it to myself

I stress about not doing any efforts nd not being positive towards life

I stress about not prioritising myself ever

I stress about always talking and wasting my time and not doing abything.....

I literally want to do it now...want to work hard for my future...for my dreams.....i want to revive my dreams......i want to live to make that dreams happen......i want to live my dreams. .....

So I want to really work hard for my goals.....whether its late; But sure its not too late...I still have 2 months....I still can do it...I still have a chance......No Comparisons ......just want to give tgem a really hard shot!!!!

Waheguru is gonna help me in this!!!! I believe that

StartNow

StartToday

StartForYourself

SelfDetermination

StrongWillpower

I m gonna stay back until i does nt make them happen; my dreams to b true💪

[naveedhillon]

FAITH

When so much happens with you in your life...then there is a point or always there is a time when a thought struck in your mind then you are gonna lose which is left in your life.......You are not gonna lose anything again THIS TRUST OR FAITH is difficult to maintain again in your life.......

Always when you are alone or not feeling gud, a thought comes in mind ..actually a negative thought which tells me tgat WHAT IF this happens in your life WHAT IF you lose more people in your life???????....

Having these questions in mind makes me lose my mind , hopeless , weak , alone ,emotionally stranded , heart sink and much more anyone can think about...

Then after some things..i have tocollect my thoughts and make me realize myself that Neeru nothing bad is gonna happen now or will never in future......

Then this mind thinks and asks.. REALLY?

Then u have to assure him that yes yes...everything is gonna be fine...everything is gonna be normal....

Then mimd thinks ..WHICH NORMAL????NORMAL LIKE IT WAS BEFORE MOM AND DADDY DIED? NORMAL LIKE BEFORE MOM DIED???????????

Then my geart replies ...YES IT WAS NORMAL ONLY WHEN MOM AND DAD ND EVEN NANI THREE OF THEM WERE THERE........AFTER MOM IT HAS NEVER BEEN A NORMAL LIFE....ND AFTER NANI LITTLE NORMALCY WHICH WAS LEFT IN LIFE HAS GINE TOO.....ND NOW AFTER DADDY THE SITUATION IS WORST.......NO NORMAL LIFE.....ND MAY B NEVER WOUKD BE.....

Then a thought strucks in mind again and asks me HOW IS DADA AND DADI'S LIFE NORMAL AFTER LOSING ALL THREE OF THEIR SONS..........HOW CAN THEY LIVE FOR US?????HOW THEY CONTAIN SO MUCH TOLERANCE AND PATIENCE IN THEMSELVES AFTER SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED TO THEM??? HOW?? HOW THEY CAN STILL HAVE HOPE AND LIVE FOR US?????? HOW????? IMAGINE YOURSELF LOSIMG YOUR THREE CHILDREN IN A ROW ND THEN THINK ABOUT LIFE'S NORMALCY.....

I know My Life is not same as others ..But I should see towards Dada and Dadi and learn to live for them and my brother and sister.....Nd WHAT FEARS I HAVE GOTTEN IN MY MIND THAT I MIGHT LOSE ONE OR BOTH OF THEM SOME DAY LIKE MOM AND DAD AND AFTER THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SURVIVE ANYMORE...............THIS IS THE THING WHERE I LOSE ALL MY FAITH AND TRUST IN GOD........

Then Mind nd heart both tells me tge one thing ," Dont lose hope..dont lose trust...dont lose faith....may be losing your parents was in your destiny...but my destiny does not end here...there would be lot of good things that woukd happen in fiuture.....only deaths are not your destiny...U GOTTA BELIEVE THAT!!!!!!!!

13 march 2020

[naveedhillon]

When Life Sucks!!!!

Today i m writing this wjile sitting in a salon in mohali while gaggu is taking spa.......

What I think about my life actually

I think that i m a failure....i will never be able to reach my goals in my life

My goals which may have become lame due to my less self confidence, less self lovend more mental stress

Goals which i chose for myself at some point of my life now seem worthless...actually i feel myself unworthy of my goals

Feels like I will never be able to feel happiness in same way as i used to feel before....

Seems like i will always be sad..not happy woth life...where i will do no efforts to go somewhere in my life...

Where this mental sadness will never gonna leave me...its gonna ruin my health , my career and my happiness

Dont want to feel sad anymore...but i feel it everyday every hour of the day....its eating me from inside

People say its gonna be ohkay...but for me it seems like its never gonna be ohkay

The more i want to feel good and confident and normal...the more i feel sad about myself

When all this gonna end????

I m not happy.....not happy anymore.....

But i want to feel happiness to the fullest again

Amd this time it feels so difficult to b fully happy and normal again!!!!!