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remember when mahiru stood in the middle of the road to mess with guren like "teehee! i'm in your way! you have to either swerve to the side to avoid hitting me and risk alerting your friends to my presence OR run me over! which will it be? ;)" and guren picked the secret third option which was speed up to run her over faster and alert his friends anyway
#she's so silly like how iconic#if i've made a post like this before no i haven't.#i am so astronomically bored you guys#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#guren ichinose#mahiru hiiragi#i actually didn't understand what was going on here for the longest time like i thought he was trying to avoid her#but no that was the gas pedal he stomped on.
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i drew them...
shinya and his mama.
#been wanting to use that dappled light effect since 1837 bro#it just looks so nice every time#anyway. have you remembered to cry about shinya hiiragi today?#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#art stuff#didn't end up covering him with fabric because. how
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guren consistently saying that this is their "final battle" while he so vehemently denied it in catastrophe... saying that their time stopped back then and they haven't really been living ever since... oh we are in danger


#what if i'm actually scared? lmao#most doomed fucking friend group#perhaps they were never meant to live#(i want them to live so bad)#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#guren ichinose#norito goshi#mito juujou#shigure yukimi#sayuri hanayori#guren squad#gonna kms
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does u like cat
i does! i don't have one living in my home, but there is this little guy

he'd like to know if it's ok if he barks at you like a madman for a few seconds!
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the link preview function isn't working properly right now, BUT i have another little piece of writing about shinya to offer.
there isn't a single mention of guren this time. now you may be wondering, how on earth did she manage that? and the answer is that it's set in 2001, back when shinya is five years old and tucked safely away in his mother's arms.
stuff like this gets buried quite easily since it doesn't show up in any ship tags, so i would be very happy if you left me a little comment!

#honestly no idea what inspired me two write this but i was thinking about what his family might've been like and then it just went on#sigh. my son#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi
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about the maths lesson, wouldn't it be like
guren squad: guren,shigure,sayuri,mito and goshi and guren squad premium: guren,shigure, sayuri, mito,goshi and shinya?
now, now, let's not stroke shinya's ego too much. he might start to think he's worth something.
(i'm just kidding, we probably most likely should stroke his ego i think he could use it)
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Hello, since you're still accepting drawing reqs, may I request a Horn? Just being her gorgeous self (no need for anything fancy and feel free to take ur time :] )
(In another year I will request a Crowley and then the tiddy trio drawn by nayruwu will be complete >:3)
you may. here she is having a little sip! there's totally wine in that glass, don't worry.

i actually have drawn crowley before, but i don't think i ever posted it on here. i'll be expecting you here in a year either way :3c
#i did see the post about your birthday but this already took me long enough LMFAO#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#horn skuld
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welcome to today's mathematics lesson, everyone!
Guren Squad: Sayuri + Shigure + Shinya + Mito + Goshi + Guren
Guren Squad Lite: Guren Squad - Shinya
Shinya and the others: Guren Squad - Guren
make sure to study this until next week. 📚🖋
#there's also a free trial - consisting of guren shigure and sayuri#you'll have to pay extra for the others. yeah sorry it sucks.#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#guren ichinose#mito juujou#norito goshi#shigure yukimi#sayuri hanayori#guren squad
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Haii, thanks for answering my fem mikayuu askk 🥹 I drew genderbend versions of Chess Belle and Horn and....yuu and mika and Ferid and crowley, lol 👀👉👈
you're welcome :3c
help these are so cute😭 i love horn's annoyed face lmfao
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Hmmm any chance you could draw a fem mikayuu sketch 👀👉👈💚💙
i thought you'd never ask.

#all hail the yuri#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#mikayuu#art stuff#next up is big boobied horn#sexy woman here i come
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spent like an hour today scrolling through my ons save folder on instagram. all posts from like 2015-2022. at this point i don't even care if they mischaracterise the fuck out of shinya i miss the seraph of the end fandom 💔💔💔
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Do you still take drawing requests? :3
yep!! of course i can't promise how fast i'll do anything but i'm always open for inspiration💕
#i actually still have a 'draw rainbowdash snoring' request in my ask box which i'm scared of because someone told me it's probably a fetish#i'll do it. one day.
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decided to take the rest of guren squad and turn them into ponies too, cause it was really fun the first time and i wanted to see if i could cartoonify it a bit more.
first up is mito! be careful. she kicks.
#the juujou family was cursed with red-roanness it's tragic#i wasn't too sure about the cutie mark#because i couldn't remember if she actually has a strong sense of justice#or if i just made that up.#but well! scale!#i was thinking of doing shigure next but i'm open for suggestions#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#mito juujou#guren squad#isn't turning her gauntlets into leg wraps such a big brained idea?
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full entire analysis of The Shinya Scene in chapter 83
... because in all my years of being here i've only ever talked about it in bits, but now that he's back and my demons have caught up to me i guess it's time to look at the whole thing combined.
and yes, i will be talking about guren. a lot. because whether you like it or not, guren is the main character, and shinya's role to an extent revolves around him. yes, i also wish we knew more about him outside of that, but it is what it is. i'll work with what i've got.
i actually recently saw someone who was wondering why people shipped gureshin, or why they believe shinya is in love with him - and since this chapter was my personal 'awh fuck i guess this is what i'll be constantly thinking about for the next 6+ years'-moment, perhaps when you see someone wondering the same, you can send them this.
let's start with the basics! in case you forgot it all starts off with shinya asking byakkomaru for more power to try and save guren.

yay for character exposition!
normal people's personality traits aside, shinya largely turned out the way he did because of childhood trauma. if your friends are constantly taken away from you, eventually, you're gonna stop caring about others. if emotions like sadness or fear of death will make you more vulnerable to attacks, you're gonna stop being afraid out of pure necessity. the training facility required shinya to care about no one but himself and go through there with an absolute calmness and rationality that protected him but also turned him into an empty unfeeling husk that doesn't really know why it's even alive.
also, lovely touch that it's just always raining inside his heart. i'm sensing he might have experienced sadness of some sort.
don't really appreciate the "yet you still hold burning desires" without any indication of what they might be, although you can guess looking at the following pages.

i'll talk about this topic some more a few pages down, but it's quite interesting how shinya believes reaching for impossible goals is meaningless, pretty much says 'no one cares that you tried if you don't succeed', while simultaneously admiring guren so much for never giving up.
"Though you never managed to make mahiru yours, you still feel nothing." shinya expressed some jealousy in catastrophe about having his government assigned fiancée constantly talking about another kid, but he seems to acknowledge that such a feeling is useless, and eventually drops it. which is also probably how he could talk about it so freely to guren instead of letting it fester and turn into bitterness.

"It is believing that way which fulfills your desires." he knows it's not the only way to think, but it acts as a sort of defence mechanism which spares him a lot of the pain people that experience emotions normally go through. i imagine it feels quite relieving, to be able to save yourself from it.
and oh! byakkomaru asks him a question about himself and shinya grins and tells him he doesn't need to ask these things, because he's his demon, he already knows everything about him! how interesting. let's call back to that later.

interesting comparison here. i think what it really comes down to in the end is passion.
to be quite frank, shinya's entire existence is downright miserable. he was entirely on his own for most of his life, having no one to depend on, being constantly reminded of his worthlessness and stuck in that horrible place he knows he can't get out of. but that's just it. he knows there's no way out, and he doesn't question it anymore. he's accepted it. he doesn't outwardly want or strive for anything. (although of course, byakkomaru needs to draw power from somewhere. so we can assume those other 'burning desires' are sitting somewhere very, very deep inside to the point where he can't even put them into words - considering that when asked about his biggest wish in the official fanbook, he can't think of anything, and instead chooses something that might make guren happy. whatever he wants himself is probably so impossible to him he wouldn't dare reach for, or even dream of it. if you can't get it, 'the effort is meaningless'.)
meanwhile guren, despite the general degradation of the ichinose clan, starts out with much more, a clan that supports him fully, a parent that loves him, devoted followers and a beautiful home - which is all violently ripped away from him one after the other. he suffers so so much within the story, and yet he never stops trying, never falls into that sad routine, never accepts defeat, always burning 'like the sun' in a way shinya can't. and because he knows he can't, never could, he tries to help. he bases his entire self worth on supporting someone he believes to be good.

i do appreciate a good Guren Roast. guren acts strictly on his feelings, which is confusing but incredibly endearing to shinya, who would be long dead if he'd acted the same. which i suppose is why he's looking at him like... that™. a little reminiscent of shinoa longingly staring at yuuichirou and thinking "teach me more", except shinya is a guy, so he's not allowed to blush about it.
he then very casually mentions that he hates idiots, so therefore he hates guren. note this down.

and here we have it. the fucking "person who is a stone cold rationalist but suddenly throws all logic out of the window when it comes to love" trope. in MY shounen manga. fucking wow. all that talk about shinya not feeling anything and only ever acting logically but when it comes to guren he starts contradicting himself. that's certainly not suspicious at all.

alright here we go fuck you fuck you fuck you.
i've yapped on an on about this page way too much, but just for completion's sake:
byakkomaru uses the word "恋" (koi). and i'm not japanese, i don't speak japanese, but my embarrassingly extensive research has concluded that as opposed to "愛" (ai), which is the stable, general and intentional feeling of love you hold for family members or your actual romantic partner, koi is an exclusively romantic term for when you've fallen in love with someone without meaning to, and whom you're not in a relationship with. or - oh dear! - "It can also have a meaning of longing for something or someone." sounds oddly familiar, maybe?
because what shinya actually responds here in the japanese original is "it's just 憧れ". and while this little fucker of a word can be translated to 'deep admiration' (which, of course, fits quite well), it can also be translated to 'longing' or 'yearning' - which is a word that has also been used to describe guren and mahiru's feelings for each other, in which case it has always been translated as longing. huh. funny that.
other than that, let's look at it in relation to what else has happened in this scene!
first off - "you're my demon, you know that!" byakkomaru doesn't need to make assumptions about him. he knows shinya better than anyone else, probably even shinya himself. knowing that, it seems more like he's trying to make shinya acknowledge it, perhaps to pull out more of that desire that he needs out of him, rather than an actual 'well MAYBE you're in love just saying. it's entirely irrelevant but it kinda popped into my mind right now'.
secondly, shortly before byakkomaru's statement, shinya does that cheerful intentionally-lying-through-his-teeth, stating that he hates guren because he hates idiots. which is obviously fucking bullshit, and everyone knows it. he knows it. byakkomaru knows it. guren knows it. hell, my fucking grandmother that i haven't seen since i was seven years old knows it.
but seriously - he spouts obvious lies in a sing-songy voice and laughs off everything byakkomaru throws at him. and we know smiling is shinya's way to deal with stress. (it's quite obvious, but was also explicitly mentioned in catastrophe). acknowledging something like this outright, that you might be in love with your best friend who's also your ex-fiancée's ex boyfriend, that'd be incredibly stressful, perhaps even scary, wouldn't it? especially for someone like him who we just established has survived by not growing attached to people and locking away all strong feelings for most of their life. who's to say that his "it's just 憧れ" isn't also just a lie meant to avoid a direct confronation about his own feelings that is obvious to byakkomaru but not to the reader?

once again we're talking about guren's passion and the fact that shinya really, really wants to help him. awesome.
what's also interesting to note is the part where he says "i completely understand why mahiru chose him over me". something similar is said multiple times in catastrophe, where he goes on about finally understanding what mahiru sees in him and why she loves him. could be 'girls love this guy that's so much better than me i wish i could be like him'. could also be kagami trying to sneak "SHINYA'S FEELINGS FOR GUREN = MAHIRU'S FEELINGS FOR GUREN" past censorship. who knows. not me. i'm just cleaning personell. anyone seen the broom closet?

"Do you intend to die here?" - "Good question." Thank you Shinya very cool.
he really just doesn't give a shit does he. insert another paragraph about how he doesn't have anything to wish for or look forward to. guren come get your passively suicidal emotional support animal.
the statement of never having had a reason to live despite him outright telling guren that his life had meaning because he got to meet him implies that this realisation only came as he was dying. he had to die to be able to see any meaning to life. which is really fucking sad if you ask me, but it lines up with his development in the novels - as soon as you accept weakness you accept that it will kill you. as soon as it all makes sense, it's over. can't have shit in owari no seraph.

despite everything, shinya hates losing to guren. this is something that's always been difficult for me to understand because i can't relate at all and it just seemed kind of childish, but we can actually explain it pretty easily by looking at the circumstances of his upbringing once again. shinya grew up in an environment where not being the smartest, fastest and most talented, where losing meant immediate death. if he's the best, he gets to survive. if there's someone better than him, he'll be disposed of. of course someone close to him that's a better person, is easily loved by so many different people (especially mahiru, who from shinya's point of view was the only reason he was even allowed to exist), can feel like a threat. it's what makes his characterisation so fun to me, because if i just look closely enough, i can explain most of what he does and says. i am nowhere near as good at understand whatever is going on in guren's mind.
aaand this actually concludes my little essay! thank you very much for coming everyone. it was a blast. feel free to leave some marzipan in the tip jar by the door. toodles!
anyway. do i think shinya is in love with guren? yes. i don't think any author would put this much thought into something that in the end is just there for shits and giggles. there's the drama cd too, where shinya uses a phrase that is commonly used in writing to subtly confess to another person (i actually only recently realised it was used in The Stranger by the Shore as well, which is straight up queer literature). his fanbook entry states that he is not interested in women. he can neither sit nor stand up fucking straight. there are so, so many hints if you just look for them. now, do i think it will lead anywhere? although i wish it would, nope. everything that nods to romantic feelings is from shinya's side exclusively, and he's far from the only one that fell for guren. but what i am certain of is that he is meant to be read this way.
my personal interpretation of him and his feelings in general is that he is aware of them, and although initially it might have been terrifying, he eventually came to accept it as Just The Way It Is. i don't view it as unrequited love in the "senpai will never love me back😭💔" way, because i don't think in this universe he'd ever allow himself to even consider the thought of his feelings being reciprocated (and in the end he is loved back, just differently), but perhaps they're an assurance that deep down he is still human and able to feel like everyone else. of course it's natural that you'd want to be loved back, so we can put that on the "and yet you still hold burning desires" shelf. but well, this isn't based on facts, it's just what i personally find the most endearing to think about!
#started making it. had a breakdown. bon appetit.#doing this made me realise i also have to make a post about byakkomaru's odd behaviour.#because i wanted to write about it in here but it would have gotten too long and i ran out of picture space#and i'd have had to incorporate panels from other chapters which really wouldn't have made sense.#so like get ready for that or something#picture quality is all over the place because i had to edit several pages together to fit everything in 1 post#it's rough out here.#this turned out so fucking long.#can't believe it took me this long to do it honestly.#when you're peacefully writing a shinya hiiragi essay and conan gray starts blasting through your earphones😑😑😑#didn't help. neither did gigi perez#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#guren ichinose#gureshin#mahiru hiiragi#byakkomaru#sorry
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would u guys be mad at me if i talked about chapter 83 AGAIN
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i would like to thank my mother, my father, our holy lord in heaven, that carpenter guy with the bread, buddah, beyoncé, athena, mother earth, angela merkel and mohammad for the divine blessing that has been bestowed upon me
#FIVE AND A HALF YEARS......#y'all do we get a reward for sticking it through?#HE'S NOT EVEN UGLY I'M CRYING#my body feels light as a feather all my worries have been lifted#u guys don't even understand..#owari no seraph#seraph of the end#shinya hiiragi#guren ichinose#RAAAAAAAA
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