nayruwu

[nayruwu]

if the next chapter doesn't magically fix the entire story i might actually have to force myself to hyperfixate on my little pony or some shit because it's just so far off from what i expected/wanted i can't justify reading this to myself or others anymore lmfao

[nayruwu]

lost count of how many times i've drawn him with a hole in his chest i think it's a coping mechanism at this point

[nayruwu]

Was thinking about it, and what Shinya is to Guremahi parallels what Shinoa is to Mikayuu. As in Guren will always choose Mahiru in the end, and Yuu will always choose Mika.

They twinning fr

[nayruwu]

May I offer you a silly phone doodle in these trying times

you may😔😔 thank you so much😔😔😔😔💔

[nayruwu]

hi. after an earth-shattering migraine, several sick days at work and almost an entire week of trying to regain my composure, i think i'm ready to talk about this month's chapter. because what the actual fuck was that.

the lack of acknowledgement of the happenings in the prequel novels has bothered me for a WHILE, but with guren and mahiru riding off into the sunset together for all eternity we've just reached a new low and at this point i'm beginning to lose all hope i may have had left. i don't even know where to begin.

(i want to say that i don't think guremahi's plan is going to work out given some statements regarding mika/yuu/shinoa's future in world-saving, shinya's tendency to interfere with mahiru's ideals and the fact that there's no way kagami would sacrifice mikayuu - but the writing has been so incredibly inconsistent and characters have gotten so reduced to cardboard cutouts that my trust is near zero. i've never been this upset by a story for this long in my life.)

inconsistency, regarding mahiru. catastrophe paints the image that she is incredibly ambitious, that her one goal in life is to break free from the shackles shikama placed on her, and that she will do anything to achieve this, even give up on/cause harm to her loved ones, shinoa and guren. she has also mentioned that she wishes to be reborn as a normal girl, which could be possible considering it's now confirmed reincarnation is a thing in this universe. so why is she suddenly completely fine with staying a demon, being trapped without agency for all eternity? (wifey @esquefae also pointed out that a few chapters ago, when they were fighting krul, guren mentioned that they could just die and it'd be fine, in response to which mahiru gets upset saying "no!! we've come this far!!!!" - now it's mahiru who suggests dying and guren who tells her no, it's already decided. what? huh?)

shinya losing his role entirely. from ca16 to the prison scene after the anime to chapter 83, shinya was always understandably suspicious of mahiru. he was her counterpart in the novels after all, always telling guren to go right when mahiru told him to take a left. he got extremely upset when he realised she was manipulating guren, even telling her "get away from him or i'll kill you" (which is quite embarrassing for him honestly but. not the point.) when he saw her for the first time. but now? he treats her like anyone else. he just goes along with their plans, not questioning anything, still smiling like there's no worry to be had here. even if the documents they found in the love hotel were convincing, i refuse to believe all that distrust and conflict could just evaporate so instantly. it's jarring.

the fucking disrespect towards the guren squad girls. this is a gigantic slap in the face in the form of confirming that mito, sayuri and shigure are in fact only 'convenient' fleshy sex dolls for guren to reject. can't even really describe the visceral feeling of horror that went through my chest when i saw it. everyone involved in the making of this should be ashamed of themselves i'm not even kidding.

the complete erasure of the events of catastrophe at sixteen?? now, i've said this before. many times. that it's extremely weird that the manga shoves dead shinya flashback after dead shinya flashback down your throat and yet never mentions who actually caused his & the other's deaths. that it's always guren blaming himself for the end of the world, and mahiru just stands off to the side looking at him sympathetically like she wasn't the one that murdered his friends and thus pretty much forced him to shoulder that sin. that it just seems like she's helping him, supporting him and even willing to be punished for eternity by his side, out of love for him. in the novels she was a terrifying 'monster' that killed and abused and manipulated and was very likely the one that came up with the idea of having guren's father executed. in vampire reign, she's simply supporting him. and i thought it was incredibly weird when guren told her "we should have died together with everyone, eight years ago", even though none of them would have had to die had it not been for mahiru. but i was convinced that this dissonance would be adressed eventually. that there would perhaps be some grand reveal, because if not, why keep it a secret in the first place?

inconsistency regarding guren. he used to seem more aware of all of the above. he acknowledged that mahiru caused his "life problems", always accepted her touchiness but never initiated it. but in this chapter, he's holding his hand out to her, smiling, and they walk off into the distance arm in arm. it doesn't feel like a resigned acceptance of his punishment, stuck with the person that terrorised him for the rest of time - what it feels like is a bittersweet happy end between equals.

gureshin conflict may just stay forever unresolved. for me, probably the most interesting thing about guren and shinya's dynamic after the apocalypse, and also shinya's character as a whole, was the prospect of him eventually finding out what happened and the internal conflict that would follow (of course this would include guren's other friends, but there is the topic of shinya potentially being able to find out without exploding due to him being resurrected by ferid, not the experiment itself). because shinya in the novels expressed adoring guren because he was selfless, because he was good, which is such a stark contrast to everything he's ever known. to find out that that person that you've been holding to those high moral standards was actually the cause for so much misery? it's such an intriguing concept to me. and that's not even all! there's the added layer of guren doing all of it because he just couldn't live without his friends! he's actually an awful person, but he did it for you! i can't even begin to imagine how someone would react to that. there's been so much build-up too - their fight in the prison, in the car and later the scene where guren avoids kureto's questions because shinya is right there and "something disadvantageous would happen" to him if he answered. so much tension that shows such a high level of thought and complexity put into these characters. it's what got me so invested in this duo in the first place. and now you're telling me guren and shinya will never see each other again? guren just plans to run off to immortality, no realisation, no confrontation, nothing? excuse me while i go search for a clown nose big enough to convey how big of a buffoon i am.

the complete lack of emotion. guren doesn't take one last look at his friends, doesn't bat an eye at parting with shinya for what's meant to be the last time. these are his friends, his reason to live, his "precious things", as mahiru put it, and he doesn't express any sort of hesitation or sadness at the thought of never seeing them again. it seems like he doesn't care anymore, happen to them what will, it doesn't matter to him because he's going to leave them anyway. you've taken my traumatised scaredy-cat and turned him into an apathetic piece of ass.

you know, ideally shinya is just smiling to cover up his actual thoughts as usual, and he's not planning to go along with guren and mahiru at all. ideally, someone tells him trying to take him out of the equation and he remembers dying, remembers the sight of everyone else's decapitated bodies. ideally he stops guren and beats sense into him.

maybe "that idiot is trying to save the whole damn world by himself again" means something.

maybe "i will never give up on guren" means something.

maybe "maybe there are other special heroes out there who'll do something about the world" means something.

maybe "all the same, when guren looked at shinya's smiling face, he felt like he might yet be forgiven" means something.

or maybe it doesn't. just like mahiru's actions have meant nothing.

hater out

[nayruwu]

this was supposed to be my Scars entry for gureshin week last year but i couldn't finish it in time and then it collected dust on my tablet for [checks calendar] 8 months. hashtag oops

anyway i think if shinya survived being resurrected again he should have scars on his chest and back

[nayruwu]

remember when mahiru stood in the middle of the road to mess with guren like "teehee! i'm in your way! you have to either swerve to the side to avoid hitting me and risk alerting your friends to my presence OR run me over! which will it be? ;)" and guren picked the secret third option which was speed up to run her over faster and alert his friends anyway

[nayruwu]

i drew them...

shinya and his mama.

[nayruwu]

guren consistently saying that this is their "final battle" while he so vehemently denied it in catastrophe... saying that their time stopped back then and they haven't really been living ever since... oh we are in danger

[nayruwu]

does u like cat

i does! i don't have one living in my home, but there is this little guy

he'd like to know if it's ok if he barks at you like a madman for a few seconds!

[nayruwu]

the link preview function isn't working properly right now, BUT i have another little piece of writing about shinya to offer.

there isn't a single mention of guren this time. now you may be wondering, how on earth did she manage that? and the answer is that it's set in 2001, back when shinya is five years old and tucked safely away in his mother's arms.

stuff like this gets buried quite easily since it doesn't show up in any ship tags, so i would be very happy if you left me a little comment!

[nayruwu]

about the maths lesson, wouldn't it be like

guren squad: guren,shigure,sayuri,mito and goshi and guren squad premium: guren,shigure, sayuri, mito,goshi and shinya?

now, now, let's not stroke shinya's ego too much. he might start to think he's worth something.

(i'm just kidding, we probably most likely should stroke his ego i think he could use it)

[nayruwu]

Hello, since you're still accepting drawing reqs, may I request a Horn? Just being her gorgeous self (no need for anything fancy and feel free to take ur time :] )

(In another year I will request a Crowley and then the tiddy trio drawn by nayruwu will be complete >:3)

you may. here she is having a little sip! there's totally wine in that glass, don't worry.

i actually have drawn crowley before, but i don't think i ever posted it on here. i'll be expecting you here in a year either way :3c

[nayruwu]

welcome to today's mathematics lesson, everyone!

Guren Squad: Sayuri + Shigure + Shinya + Mito + Goshi + Guren

Guren Squad Lite: Guren Squad - Shinya

Shinya and the others: Guren Squad - Guren

make sure to study this until next week. 📚🖋

[nayruwu]

Haii, thanks for answering my fem mikayuu askk 🥹 I drew genderbend versions of Chess Belle and Horn and....yuu and mika and Ferid and crowley, lol 👀👉👈

you're welcome :3c

help these are so cute😭 i love horn's annoyed face lmfao

[nayruwu]

Hmmm any chance you could draw a fem mikayuu sketch 👀👉👈💚💙

i thought you'd never ask.

[nayruwu]

spent like an hour today scrolling through my ons save folder on instagram. all posts from like 2015-2022. at this point i don't even care if they mischaracterise the fuck out of shinya i miss the seraph of the end fandom 💔💔💔