ncfive-blog

[ncfive-blog]

Shit College Kids Say

"You want to see how thick I am? Come sit on my face!"

*In a Goofy voice* "somebODY ONCE TOLD ME."

"You can't flex your nuts, dude."

"Like all the girls on Tinder who never reply to me."

"She's not old enough."

"OH SHIT."

"Notice me, Senpai."

"You missed Latin - there was a massive bar fight."

"I just read a facebook post about how Trump is a clinical psychopath and a clinical narcissist."

"Lets just say the greatest president of all time - Andrew Gardener."

"Honestly? Fuck the third declension."

*drunken, off-key singing*

"Once I saw a guy wearing a Nickelodeon-orange suit riding a scooter through west campus."

"I would have voted for Bill Clinton."

"So, I love everyone in this room, but can we never discuss politics again."

"haaaa-AHHHHHHHH"

*yelled a toddler along parade route* "RUSH DELTA CHI!"

"I will beat your ass."

"Where's his dick?"

"Hell yeah! Cock block!"

"Hi, I'm ______ and I'm looking for a daddy."

"Didn't I tell you about Mr. Complicated number three? Check this out-"

"Come on, I heard ______ gives us homemade cookies."

"I only do cocaine on special occasions."

"One of the guys brought a metric fuck ton of pizza - anyone want some?"

"I think I accidentally just joined a cult."

"I mean, there's a reason we're known as 'Alpha Grab a Doughnut.'"

*scream-singing* "TAKE ME OUT TO THE FRAT HOUSE-"

"Wow, ______ go(es) hard."

"Well, I got puked on and lost my date, but it got better."

"Honey, (your) ____ made a lot of bad decisions last night."

"You asked her to haze you by throwing a cupcake at you?"

"It's not hazing - you're not a pledge."

"Even frat parties aren't this bad."

"Well, you know, his dick was, like-" *makes a bending motion*

"I mean, he's her best friend and all their stories start with, 'we were so fucked up,' so I wouldn't expect too much."

"Hi, I'm _____ and I keep my hair long because I like to have it pulled."

[ncfive-blog]

ODAIRING.

       THERE  AREN’T MORE  than  a  handful of  24hour  cafes, so  he  cannot  afford to  be  picky. he’s  grown  used  to  the  tacky  strung up  lights  and  made  a  home of  the  brown  leather  sofa,  acquainted  those  that  rotate the  night  shift. when  five  buzzed his  phone,  it  must  have  been  a  relief she  received  a  reply.  as  demonstrated  by  the  empty  tables  around him,  those  who  are  up  this  late  do  not  waste  their  time  at  a  coffee place.  has  jokingly  crossed his  mind  they  keep  it  open  just  for  him.  

      there  is  no  surprise at  her  explanation—couldn’t  have  guessed  that  is  why  she  is  here now,  but  knows  that  chanel is  a  BITCH.  hasn’t met  her  personally, but  the  girl  clearly has  a  superiority complex  if  she’s  naming  others  after  herself  like  a  QUEEN  in her  little  sorority kingdom.  how  LAUGHABLY  pathetic.  he  figures  five  stays  for  the  same  reason  she  has  come  to  find  him  this  night—has  NOWHERE ELSE  to  go.

      “  did  she  now?  ”

      he  nearly  ignores her  inquiry,  though thinks  better  of  it  (  wouldn’t want  to  hurt  her  feelings,  would  he?  )  and  a  quick  lie  rolls  from  the  silver  tongue with  as  much  ease  as  it  always has.

        “  insomnia.  so,  permanently,  or  just  for  the  night? because  this  might  be  the  best thing  she’s  ever  done  for  you.  she  treats you  like  shit,  you  know.  ”

      a  nod  to  beckon  her  closer.

      “  c’mere,  i’ll  buy  you  some  coffee. ”

          she   wouldn’t   catch   the   lie      -      wouldn’t   question   his   reasoning .      was   merely   glad   that   he   was   there   and   willing   to   speak   to   her .      glad   that   he   had   answered      -      had   allowed   her   to   join   him .      gave   her   somewhere   to   go      -      somewhere   to   be   after   being   kicked   out   of   the   closest   thing   to   HOME   that   she   had   ever   had      -      her   sisters   the   closest   thing   to   family   she   had   when   her   own   parents   hate   her .      didn’t   care   about   her      -      could   be   even   worse   than   CHANEL   at   times .      didn’t   even   attempt   to   hide   their   distaste   for   their   child .

          but   at   least   for   the   moment   HE   seemed   to   care .      at   least   was   willing   to   buy   her   coffee      -      offer   a    s e a t    on   the   dark   leather   sofa   that   she   would   take .      wouldn’t   dare   reject   the   man’s   kindness   when   it   was   the   only   thing   she   had   at   the   moment .      because   sure ,      she   was    c e r t a i n    chanel   would   allow   her   back   soon .      take   her   back   under   her   metaphorical   wing .      because   without   her ,      who   would   chanel   make   fun   of ?      who   would   she   tease   relentlessly ?      of   course   not   number   three .      not   her   right  -  hand   girl      -      knew   she   wouldn’t   put   up   with   it .

          .“      yeah ,      but   she’s   my   sister      -      it’s   just   how   it   is .      ”.      what   she   always   told   herself      -      was   certain   that   if   another   chanel   was   chosen   she   would   no   longer   be   a   scape  -  goat   to   the   others .      might   finally   earn   their   RESPECT   if   she   played   her   cards   right .      .“      and   i’m   sure   she’ll   let   me   come   back   soon      -      maybe   tomorrow .      normally   it   doesn’t   last   long .      ”.      not   that   it   improved   her   current   situation .      “      but   thank  you ,      i      -      really   appreciate   it .      ”.

[ncfive-blog]

continued.  {  @odairing.  }

      “  OH  I’LL  FIND  my  way  back  there  soon  enough, five.  ”  

     A  JOKE that  would  be  more  amusing to  himself  than  his  QUINTUPLET FRIEND.  it  is  no  secret to  ANYONE  he  sleeps around,  if  not  WHY.

     but  even  UNKNOWINGLY  telling a  prostitute  they  SHOULD BE  IN  BEDis  like  telling a  woman  to  get  in  the  kitchen,  so  a  smile  is  drawn  at  the  DOUBLE  ENTENDRE  before gaze  lifts  from  the  ink  stained  leaves of  a  notebook. he  will  NOT  sleep, does  not  WANT  to  submit  to  TERRORS  of  the  night  once more. how  RELENTLESS  they  are  tonight. though  weariness  veils  his  composure, catlike  eyes  will  meet  blue  with  a  raise  of  brow,  jaw  resting  in  the  palm  of  his  hand.

     “  what’s YOUR  excuse,  then?  don’t  PRETTY  GIRLS need  their  beauty sleep?  ”  

          she’d recoil at the jeer.  KNEW he was kidding when he called her pretty.             knew she never would be.  would be alone forever.  something that kept           her up at night.  the thought that nobody would ever love her.  that even           as a kappa,  she was  d o o m e d  to forever watch her sisters find love.             never find her own.  

          so what was the point of beauty sleep?  she’d be ugly with or without           concealer-covered bags under her eyes.  was lucky that anyone even           TOLERATED her.  tried to ignore the cruel jokes at her expense.  had           hoped the presence of pledges would lessen the anger directed towards           her,  but of course it didn’t.  was doomed to be torn down either way.             but instead,  she’d try to be STRONG.  attempt to brush off the words           as she moved to sit on the other side of the couch.  knew she shouldn’t           be there,  but didn’t have anywhere else to go.

                    .“  chanel told me to leave.  ”  figured it’d be easier to OBEY than                          fight her.  wasn’t in the mood to be screamed at.  would leave it                          to number three to comfort their unhappy president.  “  i didn’t                          know where else to go,  so i’m here.  ”  gaze would fall to the                          notebook.  couldn’t make out the words.  wouldn’t try.  instead,                            would return her gaze to his own.  “  besides,  if i were pretty,                           i’d be up for a  c o m p l e t e l y  different reason.  ”  spoken with                          a slight laugh  -  meant as a joke,  though it was true.  “  so,                            what about you?  ”

[ncfive-blog]

ᴊᴀᴄᴋ sᴘᴀʀʀᴏᴡ sᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs ;;

❝ I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly stupid. ❞

❝ Nobody move! I dropped me brain! ❞ 

❝ The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand? ❞ 

❝ You need to find yourself a girl, mate. ❞ 

❝ I’ve got a jar of dirt! ❞ 

❝ Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again. ❞ 

❝ If you were waiting for the opportune moment… that was it. ❞ 

❝ Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate. ❞ 

❝ Savvy? ❞ 

❝ My spirit will live on. ❞ 

❝ Why is the rum always gone? ❞ 

❝ Why fight when you can negotiate? ❞ 

❝ If you choose to lock your heart away, you’ll lose it for certain. ❞ 

❝ This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught ___ ❞ 

❝ My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are in trouble. ❞ 

❝ I regret nothing, ever. ❞ 

❝ You’ve stolen me and I’m here to take myself back. ❞ 

❝ Did no one come to save me just because they missed me? ❞ 

❝ Close your eyes and pretend it’s all a bad dream. That’s how I get by. ❞ 

❝ For instance, I can let you drown. ❞ 

❝ You’re the ones in need of rescuing and I’m not sure if I’m in the mood. ❞ 

❝ I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by. ❞ 

❝ You may kill me, but you might never insult me. ❞ 

❝ Hide the rum! ❞ 

❝ Shoo. ❞ 

❝ Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. I know I’m crazy, therefore I’m not crazy. Isn’t that crazy? ❞ 

❝ Cruel is a matter of perspective. ❞ 

❝ The world’s still the same. There’s just less in it. ❞ 

[ncfive-blog]

‘ Gordon Ramsay ’ Quotes Starters

Warning!! A lot of cursing.

❝ It’s fucking RRAAAWWWWW! ❞ ❝ Fucking idiot. ❞ ❝ You best be jokin’. ❞ ❝ Don’t billshit me! ❞ ❝ Donkey! ❞ ❝ I wouldn’t feed that to my dog. ❞ ❝ I wouldn’t serve that on DEATH ROW! ❞ ❝ Come the fuck on! ❞ ❝ FUCK OFF! ❞ ❝ Tastes like it’s been microwaved. ❞ ❝ ITS FROZEN AND RRAAAWWWWW! ❞ ❝ YOU CAN’T STORE COOK MEAT AND RAW MEAT TOGETHER YOU FUCKING IDIOT! ❞ ❝ THOSE POOR BASTARDS! ❞ ❝ Disgusting! ❞ ❝ In fifteen minutes, I will clear all that furniture and put it back in my van. And this shit here, I’ll put it back in there. ❞ ❝ How the fuck did you burn ice-cream?! ❞ ❝ I’ll get you more pumpkin, and I’ll ram it right up your fucking ass. Would you like it whole, or diced? ❞ ❝ There is more olive oil on this than Popeye’s dick! ❞ ❝ You put so much ginger in this, it’s a Weasley. ❞ ❝ ____, You’re a first class cunt. ❞ ❝ Hey! Excuse me, Madam! Fuck me?! How about fuck you! ❞ ❝ I swear to god, this is the kind of shit you expect Tiger Woods to T-off with. ❞ ❝ If I tell you to get out there I don’t give a fuck if you got a thong up your fat crack. GET OUT THERE! ❞ ❝ Don’t whistle at me I’m not your fucking dog, you look more like a dog than I do. ❞ ❝ You’re cooking in a burned pan you fucking dick! ❞ ❝ I’m watching you like a fucking hawk, you know why? *Whispers in ear* I want you out. ❞ ❝ You seriously surprised me…. Of how shit you are. ❞ ❝ You act like the female version of Hannibal Lecter. ❞ ❝ I’m done standing here with a bunch of idiots. Fuck you all. ❞ ❝ What we are waiting on? I’M ON SOME FUCKING TALENT!! ❞ ❝ I’m calling out orders, and you’re confused! And you’re confused! And you’re at the end of your dick! ❞ ❝ It’s like a bison’s penis! What is that shit?! ❞ ❝ Right now? I rather eat poodle shit than put that in my mouth. ❞ ❝ Where’s the lamb SAUCE!? ❞ ❝ Fuck off you useless sack of fucking Yankee Danky Doodle shit. ❞ ❝ Fucking sue me. ❞

[ncfive-blog]

✰ * º ❛   buzzfeed unsolved sentence starters.   ❜

         (   part of the youtube starter series   )

‘  i told you, it’s not as magical as it sounds.  ’ ‘  oh boy, did he not like his box and he spent years in his box not liking his box.  ’ ‘  you have a habit for citing movies as evidence.  ’ ‘  kids kind of all look the same.  ’ ‘  when babies are born, everyone goes, ‘oh, what a cute baby’ eh, it’s a baby either your baby’s ugly or normal.   ’ ‘  i was a very ugly baby.  ’ ‘  i have the mind of a detective.  ’ ‘  you don’t have the mind of a detective, you just stumbled upon a good question for once that, you know, actually pertained to the story.  ’ ‘  what do you have against pennsylvania?  ’ ‘  it’s quite up there in pennsylvania, people to too much free time. you know what happens next.  ’ ‘  how’d that turn out? do we have any pictures of that?  ’ ‘  that’s not something you really tell someone in passing.  ’ ‘  who sold his son? he sold his son!  ’ ‘  anytime you have to say ‘it’s not incest, technically’ – that’s not great.  ’ ‘  did you just realize something? what just happened?  ’ ‘  did you not realize that until now?  ’ ‘  did i just solve something? i may have just solved something!  ’ ‘  the day you solve something, i’ll give you $500.  ’ ‘  $500 real dollars? i could go with disneyland on that kind of money. that’ll last me a couple days maybe.  ’ ‘  i’m not a sick-o, i’m just interested in– okay, maybe i’m a little weird.  ’ ‘  i love this right off the bat.  ’ ‘  i love it when serial killers have a fun little thing. i don’t approve of serial killers, but i think – if you’re gonna kill a bunch of people – you might as well have some fun with it.  ’ ‘  they don’t make serial killer baseball cards though, do they?  ’ ‘  everybody had an axe back in the day, huh?  ’ ‘  sometimes, even the most beautiful places, hold the darkest secrets.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna look up a slouch hat because that sounds like something i need.  ’ ‘  this guy sounds like a villain from rocky and bullwinkle.  ’ ‘  jazz it! honey, you gotta jazz it. i’m not gonna throw out this axe, so we better jazz it.  ’ ‘  let’s see how many of these fuckers i can make dance.  ’ ‘  i think, just, how about don’t kill people?  ’ ‘  i thought we were here to get into the mind of a serial killer.  ’ ‘  no, no, no, no. just a theory? it’s dumb.  ’ ‘  he seems like a cool dude.  ’ ‘  i think he just did it because he’s a badass.  ’ ‘  what’s so funny about that? he has a bomb.  ’ ‘  –you think james bond ever wore a clip-on bowtie?  ’ ‘  it seems like a bad idea to make your get-rich-quick scheme to be to impersonate a criminal  ’ ‘  which makes this, most likely, complete horseshit.  ’ ‘  they just said ‘unidentified object or some stupid shit like that.  ’ ‘  that’s interesting… if that’s true, that is interesting.  ’ ‘  cool guy. coolest guy in history. nice sunglasses. wow! bourbon’s great.  ’ ‘  and then he died?  ’ ‘  and then he died. talk about a guy who appreciates a cliffhanger.  ’ ‘  you don’t wanna make enemies of the deep state.  ’ ‘  he’s kinda starting to sound like an idiot.  ’ ‘  he’s a big dumb-dumb.  ’ ‘  that’s a good point. i never thought about that!  ’ ‘  in a lot of ways this dog is the real hero of this story, it seems like.  ’ ‘  i’d like to have something happy about this story and the dog is a regular lassie.  ’ ‘  oh. well, that’s a weird childhood.  ’ ‘  i can’t say i feel exhilarated right now.  ’ ‘  just try to picture one of the most famous people in the world trying to sneak into the tsa with a glued-on mustache and thinking that it’s gonna work out. i can’t believe he was even considering it.  ’ ‘  that’s avalanche of ‘he-done-it’ right there.  ’ ‘  oh boy… that’s uh… holy shit! is all i have to say.  ’ ‘  from my knucklehead perspective, this looks very bad.  ’ ‘  he dr. seuss’d his way out of a murder.  ’ ‘  this episode is bumming me out.  ’ ‘  you’re really hitting at their heart right now. keep going, keep going. maybe you’ll make a difference.  ’ ‘  i don’t like this guy.  ’ ‘  people were murdered… and this guy’s playing dress up?  ’ ‘  i feel dirty. i feel like i need to take a shower and then a bath and then another shower.  ’ ‘  i need a drink.  ’ ‘  don’t cite the internet.  ’ ‘  i mean, could you even detect ‘fruity garlic’ if it came down to it?  ’ ‘  i’m… li– if i were to– what is– what?  ’ ‘  shut up, you idiot. we’ve already decided!  ’ ‘  so you think this was all an elaborate hooky scheme.  ’ ‘  yeah, i don’t know, man. it’s just fucking weird.  ’ ‘  well, i think this theory is bullshit, but… anyways.  ’ ‘  it’s a real thing, pal.  ’ ‘  the whole idea of hysteria is that you don’t realize it. you’re not like ‘yeah, we all participated in a mass hysteria, it was a real riot. man, she got fucked up. she was having a great time. what a fun hysteria that was.’  ’ ‘  …and you don’t believe this, because?  ’ ‘  oo, this goes all the way to the top! i don’t know if we should be looking into this. some stones are best left unturned.  ’ ‘  meanwhile, they’re playing hot potato with a poison syringe.  ’ ‘  okay! you just shut your mouth. i’m done.  ’ ‘  i mean… shut up, you’re– i can’t even– this is… i thought you were like, on the level on this one.  ’ ‘  can you say, definitively, that she was not abducted?  ’ ‘  that’s it? fuck you! that definitively did not happen.  ’

          (   videos:   one,   two,   three,   four,   five   )

[ncfive-blog]

halsey (badlands) / starter sentences.

❛  sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise.  ❜

❛  i’m headed straight for the castle.  ❜

❛  they wanna make me their queen.  ❜

❛  there’s no use crying about it.  ❜

❛  do you feel like a young god?  ❜

❛  the two of us are just young gods.  ❜

❛  don’t get cut on my edges.  ❜

❛  my tongue is a weapon.  ❜

❛  if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight.  ❜

❛  i keep a close watch on this heart of mine.  ❜

❛  i walk the line.  ❜

❛  i’ll admit that i’m a fool for you.  ❜

❛  they’re coming for me.  ❜

❛  my mind’s like a deadly disease.  ❜

❛  i’m meaner than my demons.  ❜

❛  who is in control?  ❜

❛  i couldn’t stand the person inside me.  ❜

❛  i turned all the mirrors around.  ❜

❛  goddamn right, you should be scared of me.  ❜

❛  can’t help this awful energy.  ❜

❛  are you insane like me?  been in pain like me?  ❜

❛  do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?  ❜

❛  you run on gasoline.  ❜

❛  i think there’s a flaw in my code.  ❜

❛  these voices won’t leave me alone.  ❜

❛  are you deranged like me?  are you strange like me?  ❜

❛  my heart is gold, and my hands are cold.  ❜

❛  keep on haunting me.  ❜

❛  you put a fever inside me.  ❜

❛  i’ve been cold since you left.  ❜

❛  i’ve done some things that i can’t speak.  ❜

❛  i found god.  ❜

❛  i found the devil.  ❜

❛  we’re lost somewhere in outer space.  ❜

❛  i’ve got a lover.  ❜

❛  it’s coming down.  ❜

❛  i’m such a fool to pay this price.  ❜

❛  i found a martyr.  ❜

❛  i found the savior.  ❜

❛  everybody wants to know.  ❜

❛  that’s the beauty of a secret.  ❜

❛  i don’t have to fucking tell you anything.  ❜

❛  these days i can’t seem to get along with anyone.  ❜

❛  you’re only happy when you’re sorry.  ❜

❛  i hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old.  ❜

❛  you’re dripping like a saturated sunrise.  ❜

❛  you’re spilling like an overflowing sink.  ❜

❛  you’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a masterpiece.  ❜

❛  you were a vision in the morning when the light came through.  ❜

❛  i know i’ve only felt religion when i’ve lied with you.  ❜

❛  i’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you.  ❜

❛  everything is blue.  ❜

❛  i’m searching for something that i can’t reach.  ❜

❛  i don’t like them innocent.  ❜

❛  what happened to the soul that you used to be?  ❜

❛  do you remember the taste of my lips that night?  ❜

❛  i stole a bit of my mother’s perfume.  ❜

❛  i remember the fear in your eyes.  ❜

❛  feet first, don’t fall.  ❜

❛  keep close, stand tall.  ❜

❛  all we do is drive.  ❜

❛  all we do is think about the feelings that we hide.  ❜

❛  all we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign.  ❜

❛  would it really kill you if we kissed?  ❜

❛  what kind of dough have you been spending?  ❜

❛  what kind of bubblegum have you been blowing lately?  ❜

❛  we are the new americana.  ❜

❛  my demons are begging me to open up my mouth.  ❜

❛  i sold my soul to a three-piece.  ❜

❛  hold me down.  ❜

❛  knock me out.  ❜

❛  throw me in the deep end, watch me drown.  ❜

[ncfive-blog]

◆ ◆   (   AN  ASSORTED  SENTENCE  STARTER  PACK. 

❝ Of course it hurts, it’s a spanking. How else would it work? ❞

❝ The only reason we die, is because we accept death as an inevitability. ❞

❝ If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn’t be so anxious. ❞

❝ I am the excuse you give when you cannot follow the rules. ❞

❝ You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world! ❞

❝ I’m about as intimidating as a butterfly. ❞

❝ You and what army could possibly rescue her from my clutches? ❞

❝ You look better in my clothes than I do. ❞ 

❝ We’re searching for things we should be running from. ❞

❝ When it’s cold, I’d like to die. ❞

❝ The world is full of unrequited love. ❞

❝ Maybe love and pain are synonyms. ❞

❝ I would rather be strong at heart than strong at mind. ❞

❝ We are all just dead air. ❞

❝ Now you got us whammied with the curse of squirmy death.. ❞

❝ If it doesn’t sweat, jiggle, or pant, it’s not alive. ❞

❝ I love glitter, I’m not a quitter. ❞

❝ I have never met anyone who didn’t like gargoyles. ❞

❝ People who always arrive early aren’t worth waiting for. ❞

❝ Look up, always. Look back, never. ❞

❝ In order to do the unthinkable, do not think about it. ❞

❝ Funny how you’re dead, people starting listening. ❞

❝ I can’t save you unless you save me, too.. ❞

❝ Well, if there’s anything worse than a whore it’s a bore. ❞

❝ Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode. ❞

❝ Everything’s just fucking Disney with you. ❞

❝ I think you’re maybe reaching for something that doesn’t exist. ❞

❝ I’m so scared of commitment that I even hate stickers! ❞

❝ Kindness, motherfucker, kindness. ❞

❝ I haven’t even caught your name or your number. ❞

❝ Oh, the dilemmas of a teenage psychic. ❞

❝ Party at in my mind, you’re place sucks. ❞

❝ You want to kiss me, don’t you? ❞

❝ You could have had anything else in the world, and you asked for me. ❞

❝ Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck. ❞

❝ I’m beginning to think I should make that the title of my autobiography. ❞

❝ Another thing I don’t want on my tombstone. ❞

❝ I’m going to try not to make an ass of myself. ❞

❝ You’re on fire. You do know that don’t you? ❞

❝ If you answered no, please exit the building. ❞

❝ You’re still mad, I can feel it through the phone. ❞

❝ If I had a dollar for every time you said that, I would be rich. ❞

❝ Murder is all around me, striking everyone except me. ❞

❝ Give me one good reason why I should believe you. ❞

❝ Since when does that mean you have to kiss my ass? ❞

❝ I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a fully loaded weapon next to you round the clock. ❞

❝ I think it’s time you flipped this little scenario in your head. ❞

❝ The road to Hell is paid with good intentions. ❞

❝ Trust starts with truth and ends with truth. ❞

❝ I will look for powdered donuts in the wilderness. ❞

❝ Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. ❞

❝ I don’t know how to tell you what I feel. ❞

❝ I think the word for how you usually are is ‘reckless’. ❞

❝ Gratitude builds a bridge to abundance. ❞

❝ Scars are just another kind of memory. ❞

[ncfive-blog]

acts   of   affection   /   platonic   edition.

specify   which   muse   preforms   the   action!

(   ☂   )   one muse gives the other their umbrella.

(   ♬   )   one muse sings or plays a song on an instrument for the other.

(   ✿   )   one muse hands the other a bouquet of flowers.

(   ☼   )   one muse puts sunblock on the other.

(   ✂   )   one muse puts a band-aid on the other’s cut.

(   ❤   )   one muse pulls the other into a tight hug.

(   ❦   )   one muse reads the other a book.

(   ✵   )   one muse brushes the other’s hair.

(   ♨   )   one muse cooks for the other.

(   ✧   )   one muse adjusts the other’s necktie or jewelry.

(   ✎   )   one muse gives the other a picture they drew.

(   ✪   )   one muse puts their head on the other’s shoulder.

[ncfive-blog]

continued.  {  @thefineartofbitchcraft.  }

[text to minion 5]: fine, whatever #5.

[text to minion 5]: have fun sucking in life without me.

[text to minion 5]: because that’s what you are going to do. suck and go unnoticed.

{  text:  ♛ chanel ♥  }

          at least i won’t have you screaming at me the whole time.

          what happened anyways?  you used to be way cooler           before you became president.

          or at least less of a massive bitch to no. 3 and i

[ncfive-blog]

hydrophobiic.

     it wasn’t that johanna minded nicknames — in fact, she often gave them to people, usually without their permission or firsthand opinion. calling someone by an already-existing name that wasn’t theirs, however, with an added number to it, felt as if it were a bit much to johanna, though. she’d rather stick to actual names for the time being. 

     “ all right, then, ”  johanna would glance between her notes ( rather hastily scrawled and in bold letters that seemed to shift in capitalization at times — johanna’s signature handwriting ) and the other girl.  “ well, i’m just gonna stick to libby for now, if you really don’t mind. it feels a little more natural. ”   it was a perfectly fine name that didn’t involve too many syllables. easy to be spoken verbally, quickly and loudly, as johanna oft did speak in such a manner.

     “ what’s life in kappa kappa tau like, anyways? ”   the question’s asked out of real curiosity, the inquiry made in an attempt top get a better grasp of just who she was working with. conversation and friendliness really weren’t johanna’s strongest points, but there WAS something in her that cared, something that wanted to make the effort to engage with others.   “ is it any fun? ”

          it was almost strange being called by her name.  would find herself           inwardly  c r i n g i n g  at the sound of her name.  began to hear           just how disgusting it actually sounded.  perhaps understood just           why chanel hated it so much.  why from the moment they met she’d           refused to call her by her name.  but of course this was no time for           self-pity.  no time to feel sorry for herself when she was LUCKY            to be in kappa.  to be at the absolute  t o p  of the metaphorical           food chain.

          so what if one person chose to call her by her name?  it wouldn’t           matter.  not in the long run.  after all,  johanna wasn’t part of a rival           sorority.  she didn’t spend time at frat houses or with anyone actually           important.  so why bother  a r g u i n g  about it?  all she had to do           was get through the project.  after all,  she was sure the other didn’t           want to spend any more time with her than necessary.   something           that was true for a lot of the students more  i n d i f f e r e n t  to the           implicit social ladder there at wallace university.  but at the question,             carefully groomed brows would lift slightly.  she’d shrug.

                   .“  it’s GREAT when everyone’s getting along.  ”  or rather,                           when chanel wasn’t on one of her more ABUSIVE power                         trips.  “  it’s pretty fun,  though. we throw the best parties.                         and,  as i’m sure you’ve seen,  the house is gorgeous.  ”                           wouldn’t mention anything bad about chanel or the others  -                         couldn’t.  after all,  with all the murmurings behind their                         backs,  number five figured that they had enough to deal                         with.

[ncfive-blog]

hydrophobiic.

     the world of sororities and fraternities was one johanna hadn’t ever particularly cared to join. she didn’t have anything against it all, of course; not wanting to partake in them personally didn’t mean that she was opposed to working with – or even visiting the house of – someone in one. kappa kappa tau’s REPUTATION, while prominent, was something johanna wasn’t overly focused on. once johanna and her new project partner had settled in the room, johanna took a quick glance around the room before her eyes flitted to the blonde more commonly ( and peculiarly ) referred to as chanel no. 5.   

     “ so, i’ve got a shit ton of notes written down. i don’t normally do that, but since we’re supposed to work together, i figured it’d be best to do that whole… teamwork thing. ”   a shrug followed.   “ um, do you want me to call you by your actual name? the whole number-and-somebody-else’s-name thing is kind of weird. no offense. ”

@ncfive

          a slight NOD at the mention of notes -  would begin sorting through           her own.  ( despite what  o t h e r s  may say,  she really did pay           attention in her studies and tried to do well.  )  having outsiders           in the chapter house on nights not dedicated to parties was rare.           typically because they preferred to keep others out of their           business, but also because chanel DID tend to chase away           most anyone she didn’t approve of.  (  and god knew she           wouldn’t approve of johanna in the condition she was in now.             though,  libby did happen to see some potential in the other.  )

          but then the question of her real name.

          she’d grown so used to being called    “  chanel number five  ”            that it felt nearly  n o r m a l  by now.  didn’t raise any uncertainty           or question.  didn’t have to think about responding to it any more.             had even begun to introduce herself under her given nickname.             wore it with HONOR for what it meant.  but at the other’s mention           that it was  w e i r d,  she’d give a small shrug.

                   .“  you can call me libby,  if you want.  ”  a name chanel                             (   and plenty of others  )    made fun of when they                         heard.  said it sounds stupid.  especially so her last                         name.  found herself almost relieved when even                         professors began calling her chanel number five.                           would save her the LOOKS from the class.  “  it                         really doesn’t matter to me.  ”  a pause as she took                         a deep breath  - brushed thick,  golden hair back                         behind her ear as she opened her laptop.  “  really,                           though, it’s not too weird once you get used to it.  ”

[ncfive-blog]

"Life sucks, but at least I have my Poptart."

as heard in real life.

          it was moments like this that made her realize just how much she really did ENJOY being a part of kappa.  reminded her that perhaps it wasn’t all about popularity.  a title to have added onto your name.  that maybe  s o m e  of it was about sisterhood.  sitting there at the long dining room table to her sister’s left.

          a nod.  looked back to her own hands where she held her own.  would offer a soft,  relenting sigh as she held out her own to the other girl.

                   .“  here.  you can have mine,  too,  if you want.  ”

          an  a t t e m p t  at an act of kindness.  unsure how it would be received.  was certain her attempt at generosity would be thrown back into her face,  but wanted to try.  after all,  when it came down to it,  chanel was really all she had.  it wasn’t as if her parents really cared about her.  and sure,  she had number three,  too,  but that was a stranger relationship.  more distant.  closed off.  tended to band together strongly only when absolutely necessary.  joined in their love of kappa and CHANEL.

          because chanel was really it,  wasn’t she?  the glue that bound the sisters together,  cruel as she could sometimes be.  it was something MORE than admiration that libby had for the other girl.  something different than the sisterhood she felt for three.

                   .“  whatever happened,  it’ll get better.  you’ve still got us,  right?                        you’ve still got KAPPA.  ”

[ncfive-blog]

"Stop breathing so much."

as heard in real life.

          a slight FROWN as she looked up from her phone and to her sister    -    knew it would be best not to argue.  would instead resign herself to taking a deep breath.  looked back to where chanel had entered.

                    .“  is something going on,  chanel?  ”

          insult expertly ignored    -    shrugged off.  something she had grown good at in her years living with the other girl.  knew that  t y p i c a l l y  there was at least some reason why when chanel was this irritable.  typically something involving chad.  and really,  libby didn’t understand  w h a t  chanel saw in him.

          well,  she  s u p p o s e d  she did.  he was rich.  attractive.  but so was  s h e.  and chanel could have anyone she wanted if she set her mind to it.  so why didn’t she go after someone else?  she was sure there had be someone else who was similarly rich and attractive on campus.

                    .“  is it chad again?  ”

[ncfive-blog]

😢

angst prompts.

63.  “I’m trying to fix you!”

         FIX HER?  oh,  she wasn’t  s t u p i d.  she knew she wasn’t pretty.  knew the only reason she’d been accepted into the prestigious kappa kappa tau was because her mother had been a sister.  because she was a legacy and blonde and perhaps one of the less UGLY pledges that year.  but of course chanel had no say over that.  both had rushed in the same group,  after all.  and of course now chanel would never let her FORGET her flaws.

         sure,  the other sisters had never been kind to her,  either,  but from chanel it felt more personal.  no longer mixed into a group of other girls who were also being abused,  but rather taken on like a baby bird under the metaphorical wing of a CAT.  sitting there,  waiting to be DEVOURED the moment it was convenient.  preening herself to her queen’s every whim.  and finally it was too much.  too HUMILIATING.  too i n h u m a n e.

.“  well,  maybe i don’t want you to fix me,  chanel.  ”

         a high-pitched CRY as fists balled at her sides.  nails dug into the flesh of her palms as she forced herself to hold her ground.  tried to force back tears at the other’s CONSTANT CRITICISM of everything wrong with her.  

                   .“  maybe i’m DONE being your personal  m a n n e q u i n.                           and    -    and maybe i’m  O K A Y with being ugly and fat                         as long as i don’t have hear you say it all the time.  ”

[ncfive-blog]

                                                  can anybody hear me?                                                    am i talking to myself? 

      Indie  &&  Selective          Chanel  No.  5        (  Libby Putney  )

[ncfive-blog]

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  getting the fuck over things is the best!  ’ ‘  i love the concept. never tried it, but it’s a hell of a concept!  ’ ‘  you know that feeling you get when you’ve just showered and you crawl into a soft bed with clean sheets and you just feel safe and calm? that’s how i want my heart to feel.  ’ ‘  when dogs say boof instead of barking. reblog if u agree  ’ ‘  where does a mansplainer get his water? from a well, actually.  ’ ‘  do girls really mature faster? or do we just excuse boys’ immaturity longer?  ’ ‘  if i had to pin point my biggest flaw, it would probably be me.  ’ ‘  will anyone ever fall in love with my boring ass???  ’ ‘  date a girl who keeps a post-it note over her webcam bc the government is watching her.  ’ ‘  the difference between 4 a.m. and 5 a.m. is late as fuck and early as hell.  ’ ‘  does anyone else get language cravings? like you’re doing the dishes and suddenly feel an irresistible urge to learn a little danish.   ’ ‘  kinda want a relationship. kinda don’t ever want to give someone the power to hurt me.  ’ ‘  fuck boys, I only trust rice.  ’ ‘  whoever i end up marrying is going to be lucky af cause i got so much love to give.  ’ ‘  luke skywalker is relatable because he did a couple days of exercise and was like “actually i’d rather go die in a war.”  ’ ‘  mood: saying “mood” to everything.  ’ ‘  i’m really bad at conversations. sorry if i’ve ever talked to you  ’ ‘  share a coke with the indescribable, omnipresent feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach.  ’ ‘  the struggle between me wanting to be successful and me wanting to lay in bed 24/7.  ’ ‘  i’m at the “we’ll see” stage in my life. with everything and everyone. we will see.  ’ ‘  while extroverts get their energy by being around other people, i (an introvert), get energy from being hit by a train. more or less.    ’ ‘  a cup of hot tea really heals ur soul this is true science.  ’ ‘  i’m going to cry i’m so lonely now and all i have is this fucking cup of leaf water.  ’ ‘  why do superheroes care so much about their cities? its always “i have to protect this city” or “people of this city will die” like chill, i mean shit i don’t even know who my mayor is.  ’ ‘  when i say “the other day” it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.  ’ ‘  YOU KNOW WHAT’S EXTREMELY TOXIC? JEALOUSY, turning saints into the sea. swimming through sick lullabies. choking on your alibis, but it’s just the price i pay  ’ ‘  two years i ago i was a fucking mess and now i’m a fucking mess, but at peace with it and i’ve found a bunch of great music.  ’ ‘  move, greg. i have depression and i want the pasta. it’s an emergency.  ’ ‘  life problems i anticipated as a child: quicksand, ghosts. life problems i did NOT anticipate as a child: the crushing sense of failure associated with botched social interactions.  ’ ‘  i get so excited when i can’t remember the name of someone i knew in high school it’s like i’m one step closer to being fully cleansed.  ’ ‘  what do u mean i don’t have a social life??? i just went grocery shopping with my mom.  ’ ‘  i’m a laid back person with a ton of anxiety.  ’ ‘  i can’t hear you over how much i hate my town.  ’ ‘  i accidentally vented to them so now i can never speak to them again.  ’ ‘  oh sweet, sweet sounds of 80s synthesizers, alleviate me.  ’ ‘  “i’m trying my best!!” i say as if my best didn’t pack up and leave me in 2012 without any warning.  ’ ‘  we all went through something when they played hallelujah in shrek.  ’ ‘  imagine getting a mental notification for every single time someone thought about you… it’d still be dry like my phone.  ’ ‘  it’s funny because even online i find it hard to be social and make friends.  ’ ‘  bamf: bad at making friends.  ’ ‘  i hate when someone turns my music down in the car to speak… u think your convo is more important than this absolute banger??? get out!!  ’ ‘  (to the tune of the final countdown): it’s a mental breakdown!  ’ ‘  rip doesn’t even mean rest in peace anymore, it’s just rip.  ’ ‘  if you wanna be my friend you gotta put up with me disappearing for weeks at a time and my inability to make emotional connections so be prepared.  ’ ‘  “it’s uncool to tie your jacket around your waist” is straight propaganda and they might have to carry theirs around but we don’t.  ’ ‘  why do tv shows get canceled like finish what u fucking started.  ’ ‘  the number of messages i’ve failed to answer across all my devices and media platforms will be weighed against my soul on judgment day, and i will be cast into hell.  ’ ‘  i’m really boring if i’m not comfortable with you.  ’ ‘  do you fake conversations in your head of you venting to someone??  ’ ‘  just cus i cant live off pasta doesnt mean i wont live off pasta.  ’ ‘  i need a small loan of $1,000,000.  ’ ‘  i’m not the same person i was 2 minutes ago.  ’ ‘  where can i find this friendzone i need some friends.  ’ ‘  i have an idealized version of myself in my mind and she’s really pissed off at my life choices.  ’ ‘  i like staying up at unhumanly hours but i also like getting 12 hours of sleep do u see my problem?  ’ ‘  i hate how when ppl get in an argument they start using big ass words, like how u go from a meme loving fuck to an english professor in 2 seconds.  ’ ‘  when someone calls u their best friend out loud > romantic love.  ’ ‘  sometimes u just have to say ‘tragic’ and move on.  ’ ‘  if u can afford to spend 12k on a festival to see blink 182 u can afford to die there.  ’ ‘  i feel like i’m in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed.  ’ ‘  my kink is having absolutely no one from high school know anything about me or what I’m doin now lmao  ’ ‘  dont ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean im ignoring like 8 ppl right now but still ???  ’ ‘  people who suggest getting breakfast together as a hangout plan are the kind of people you want to hang onto.  ’ ‘  my specialty: the accidental 12-hour nap in broad daylight.  ’ ‘  i think what’s wrong with me is that i don’t live secluded in a hut in the woods. i don’t bang enough rocks against enough things. i just haven’t forged any swords.  ’ ‘  whoever invents headphones that are comfortable to sleep in will get so rich.  ’ ‘  i’m an angry person and i want to let it out and be an asshole but i’m also a nice person and i don’t want to actually hurt anyone’s feelings. do u feel me??  ’ ‘  your smile makes any day a thousand times better.  ’ ‘  hey hmu if u wanna fall in love with me.  ’ ‘  90′s babies… we getting old.  ’ ‘  stay safe because I like being alive at the same time as you.  ’ ‘  i love my solitude but i was meant to be a lover.  ’ ‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’ ‘  i really do mean all those things i say to you. i hope you know this.  ’ ‘   there’s something so nice about friends who tell you they love you. ’ ‘  i love the moon!!!! she follows me everywhere to make sure i’m safe.  ’ ‘  brah fuck it i’m just die.  ’ ‘  i won’t hesitate (to love you unconditionally) bitch.  ’ ‘  i’m kiss deprived.  ’ ‘  i just want someone to kiss my neck, cuddle me, and play with my hair.  ’ ‘  me, two days into spring: do you remember the good old days when all the bugs were in hell where they belong?  ’ ‘  je suis,…. how do u say it……….. ready 2 die.  ’ ‘  not putting a case on your iphone is like not putting a baby in a car seat.  ’ ‘  if i want you, never worry about who wants me.  ’ ‘  calling me baby makes me so freakin weak.  ’ ‘  i’m a solid 2/10 but i’m kinky and loyal so hmu.  ’ ‘  watching documentaries and making out on the couch is my kind of date.  ’ ‘  space pisses me OFF the sun is TOO large and black holes are TOO mysterious and aliens are TOO sneaky.  ’ ‘  date someone who makes it feel like there’s a sunset in your chest every time you look at them.  ’ ‘  push me onto the bed and climb on top of me.  ’ ‘  hearing “i love you” from the right person feels like a big warm hug.  ’ ‘  all the love songs are becoming about you now.  ’ ‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved.  ’ ‘  avatar: the last airbender (2005-2008) would never have let me down like this.  ’ ‘  first of all i love tiddies so jot that down.  ’ ‘  fr tho, communication is so important to me. tell me what u want from me, tell me how i make u feel, be real with me, be real with ur soul.  ’ ‘  i really need to be fucked by something other than life.  ’ ‘  you are good and kind and the sun shines differently on you.  ’ ‘  goin home to be ugly in peace is one of my fav things to do.  ’