nctzendreamz

[nctzendreamz]

somewhere between yours, and his

chapter one — what we don’t talk about

summary. you and jungwon are just best friends. housemates. you know, the kind who kiss when no one’s looking. the kind who sleep too close and never talk about it. the kind who swear it’s nothing, even when it’s everything.

then jake’s cousin sunghoon shows up—quiet, sharp, a little too pretty, and acting like he’s above it all. he’s only supposed to be visiting. just passing through. but he stays. and he watches you. and he starts saying things no one else dares to say.

jungwon’s the one who’s always been there. sunghoon’s the one who makes your skin burn. you’re stuck in the middle of something that isn’t quite love—but it’s not not love, either. it’s messy. it’s reckless. it’s kind of a problem. but it might also be the best kind of trouble you’ve ever been in.

pairing. jungwon x reader x sunghoon.

genre. college!au, angst, fluff, slow burn, smut.

themes. love triangle, messy relationships and decisions, love or lust?

authors note. really hope you all enjoy this. i love a good love triangle with a complex plot—nothing hits harder than wanting two people for completely different reasons. this one’s close to my heart, so buckle up. it’s soft, it’s messy, and nobody’s playing fair.

the morning smells like cinnamon, overcooked eggs, and the same damn candle jake always insists on lighting when girls are coming over—vanilla something. you hate it, but you never blow it out.

light filters through the living room windows in wide, lazy rectangles, catching on dust in the air like static. it’s a thursday that feels like a sunday. slow. syrupy. too warm inside, too cold outside.

you’re sitting on the kitchen counter in shorts and someone else’s hoodie. you’re not sure if it’s jake’s or jay’s or jungwon’s, but it’s oversized and smells like detergent and boy, so you keep it. bare legs swinging. phone in your hand. not texting anyone back.

there’s music playing—lofi, soft and beatless—because jungwon hates silence in the mornings.

he’s in the kitchen with you, halfway through scrambling eggs he’s already messed up once. tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek like he’s solving a puzzle harder than breakfast. his sleeves are pushed up. hair still messy from sleep. he hasn’t shaved.

his voice is hoarse when he says, “you could help, you know.”

you look up from your phone. blink at him, bored. “i could. but i like watching you struggle.”

he cuts you a look, quick and half-smiling. he always does that when you flirt with him like it doesn’t mean anything. you do it more than you admit.

“you’re the worst,” he mutters, but he’s smiling for real now. you see the dimples.

“and you love me.”

he doesn’t answer. just hands you the first plate and turns back to the stove.

jungwon and you have this… thing. it isn’t a thing. but it is.

you’re best friends. but not like “haha we’re besties” best friends. more like i-know-how-you-like-your-toast, i-know-what-time-you-cried-last-week, i-know-you-well-enough-to-sit-in-your-silence best friends. you have history, but not the kind you tell people about. not the kind you even tell each other about.

just moments. stacks of them. sleepovers that turn into shared beds. movie nights that end with you curled into his chest pretending not to feel the way he stiffens when your hips shift.

he never pulls away. he also never makes a move.

you bring the plate to the couch, plop down cross-legged. he follows, and sits beside you, thigh to thigh— remote in hand like always, already queuing up something silly on youtube.

“why do we watch food vlogs while we eat food?” you ask.

“motivation.”

“you’re literally eating.”

“doesn’t mean i’m not planning my next meal.”

his knee bumps yours and doesn’t move. you’re not paying attention to the screen. you’re watching his hands.

he doesn’t wear rings like jake or bracelets like jay. just clean wrists, long fingers, callused in the places his engineering tools left behind.

you like his hands too much.

breakfast turns into scrolling. scrolling turns into dozing. you’re not sure who falls asleep first, but when you open your eyes, you’re leaning into him, his head tilted against yours. breathing even. he’s warm. always so warm.

you don’t move. just stay there, eyes half open, watching the soft rise of his chest beneath his crewneck. watching the light move across the floor.

his arm shifts. wraps around you. not tight. just enough. like habit.

like he forgets he’s not supposed to do that.

you stretch. slowly. limbs falling away from jungwon’s like you weren’t just nestled against his heartbeat. like you haven’t had his mouth on yours before.

not that it means anything. just drunk. just heat and music and mouths moving too close.

just that one night in jake’s room after everyone else passed out—when you ended up on top of him, grinding slow to whatever song is playing. his hands stayed on your waist. yours in his hair. his breath breaking when you moaned into his neck like it’s nothing.

or that second night in the hallway, when he kissed you so hard you almost fell over—half-dressed, giggling—until he pulled away too fast and said,

“we should stop.”

so you stop. you never tell anyone. he never brings it up. but it lingers like a bruise you keep pressing.

you blink hard, shake the memory off, and look over at jungwon. his hand rests against his stomach, head tipped back on the couch. his eyes meet yours. soft. unreadable.

the front door opened. you heard it before you saw it.

then a voice,

“yo.” it’s jake.

“couch potatoes,” jake called from the kitchen. “my cousin’s coming soon.”

jungwon grunted. “huh?”

“sunghoon. remember? i told y’all. he’s visiting for a few days. thinking about transferring.”

“oh. yeah.”

jungwon sits up. rubs his eyes with the heel of his palm like he didn’t just almost hold you all the way to sleep. he sees what you’re wearing. the hoodie. oversized and too familiar. not his.

“you should change,” he says.

you raise a brow. “why?”

“you’re wearing jay’s.”

you smirk. “jealous?”

“just saying.”

but there it is. the flicker in his eyes. that flash of memory neither of you ever name.

you pull the hoodie tighter around you anyway.

that moment hums in the space between you. like an unanswered question. like something half-written.

jake walks into the living room like he owns the place. (which he kind of does—his name’s not on the lease, but somehow he always has the aux and the fridge key.)

he’s barefoot, eating dry cereal out the box. he glances at you on the couch, then at jungwon, who’s now pretending he wasn’t just emotionally undressing you with his eyes.

“so listen,” jake starts, crunching mid-sentence, “y’all know that party at gamma tonight?”

you raise an eyebrow. jungwon grunts like yeah.

jake waves it off. “yeah, well, i’m thinking we skip it. bring the party here. you feel me?”

you blink. “wait, what?”

he shrugs, like it’s nothing. “just for the vibe. for sunghoon. bro’s swearing we’re lame over here. like we don’t got it. like this whole school’s boring as hell.”

“so you wanna throw a whole function just to prove a point?” you ask.

jake points at you with a finger full of cereal. “exactly.”

you glance at jungwon. he shrugs like he’s indifferent, but he’s already pulling out his phone to text jay.

“i mean,” jake continues, flopping down into the armchair like he’s pitching a business plan, “we’re already here. it’s our house. no one’s gotta worry about getting home drunk. and he’ll get the vibe. and maybe finally shut up about how ‘lit’ the city is compared to this place.”

“what city is he even from?” you ask.

“malibu, by way of seoul. but, like, the rich part,” jake says, making a face. “he thinks he’s better than everybody.”

“is he?” jungwon mumbles.

jake throws a cushion at him. you dodge it instead.

“nah, he’s cool,” jake says after a beat, “he’s just got that face, you know? the kind you wanna punch even when he’s being nice.”

you snort. “sounds promising.”

“don’t worry. you’ll love him.” jake grins at you. you do not return it.

jungwon taps something into his phone. “jay says he’s down. sunoo too.”

you sigh. “so it’s really happening.”

“oh, it’s happening,” jake says, standing up and already heading toward the bluetooth speaker like a man with a mission. “by the weekend, this house is gonna remind sunghoon exactly why we don’t need to transfer anywhere.”

he disappears down the hall, yelling something about liquor and chips.

you and jungwon sit in silence for a second, and the air changes.

he stretches his arm behind the couch, eyes on the ceiling. “you gonna get cute for him?”

you look at him sideways. “who?”

he doesn’t look at you. just shrugs, like the question was nothing. “the rich cousin.”

you smirk. lean back against the cushion, letting your bare leg press against his jeans. “you want me to?”

he doesn’t answer. but he doesn’t move away either.

the silence stretches.

not awkward. not yet. but thick—like you’ve both just remembered something you’re supposed to forget.

the tv’s still on, playing some random food vlog neither of you are watching. your leg stays pressed to his, warm through the denim. his hand is right there. resting on the couch cushion between you, fingers curled slightly like he’s about to move but doesn’t.

you glance down at it. then at him. his jaw is tight. his eyes are still on the ceiling like he’s trying not to look at you. you slide your fingers across the space. slow. just enough to brush his. and when you feel his pinky twitch against yours—you don’t stop.

your hand finds his. you don’t hold it, not really. just… let your fingers tangle halfway. and he lets them.

his breath hitches, barely audible.

you look at him. he’s already looking at you. eyes low. soft. like he’s scared to blink.

you both lean in at the same time.

no one speaks. your nose brushes his. your fingers tighten just a little. his lips part—just enough. your eyes flick to his mouth.

and that’s when it happens.

his phone rings.

it’s loud in the silence. ugly and immediate. the default ringtone, buzzing across the table like it’s mad.

jungwon jolts back like he got burned. you both jump a little, breath caught mid-moment. he pulls his hand away fast, clearing his throat like it helps.

“…it’s jay,” he mumbles, already grabbing his phone.

you sit back slow, trying to look chill while your heart hammers against your ribs.

he answers.

“yo… yeah, we’re here. no, she’s—she’s right here. yeah, we told her. yeah, it’s fine.”

you stand quietly. walk past him. don’t say a word. you head straight for your room, the door clicking shut behind you.

he watches you go, phone still pressed to his ear, heart in his throat. he doesn’t say it out loud, but it’s all over him. he wishes the phone hadn’t rung. he wishes you had kissed him. he wishes he’d let it happen.

even though you never talked about it, you still slept in his bed that night.

he didn’t say anything when you walked past your room and climbed under his covers—just lifted the blanket like he always does, turned off the light, and let you curl into his chest like nothing almost happened.

he held you all night. he didn’t try anything. he didn’t say anything, either.

but you felt him kiss your forehead when he thought you were asleep. and when he finally drifted off, you stayed awake a little longer, watching the way his fingers twitched against your arm like he was dreaming about holding you tighter.

you didn’t bring it up the next morning. neither did he.

and then last night—same thing. no talking. no explaining. just his bed and his body curved around yours like a habit that never got broken.

now it’s friday, and jake’s tearing through the house like a man possessed.

he’s blasting music from the kitchen, half-dressed, holding two bags of red solo cups and yelling about how no one’s done anything he asked.

“we literally skipped class for this,” he shouts, tossing chips onto the counter like that solves something. “the least y’all can do is act like you’ve been to a party before.”

sunoo is lighting candles in the living room like it’s a spa retreat, muttering to himself about ambiance and scent mixing.

jay in his room changing for the third time.

jungwon’s wiping down the kitchen counters, pretending like he doesn't get the best sleep of his life when it's you on his chest. like he isn't utterly in love with you. it doesn't help that you're still in his hoodie, the same one you've been sleeping in for the past two nights. all he can think about is how you’re so...beautiful, and so his. at least that's how it makes him feel when you crawl into his arms. when you wear his clothes. when you kiss his cheek in the middle of the night because you think he's sleeping. so why can't he just...go for it?

and you? you’re sitting on the edge of the armrest, sipping something pink and dangerous out of a plastic cup, watching the house shift into something new.

the lights are dimmer. the music’s louder. the vibe’s getting blurry around the edges.

that’s when you hear it— the knock at the door.

not loud. just one, then another. like he’s not here to make a scene. like he doesn’t have to.

jake practically leaps across the room to open it, and there he is.

sunghoon.

black jeans, black hoodie, black duffel slung over one shoulder like he didn’t try but somehow still looks better than everyone in the house. his expression is blank. his face is sharp. he gives jake a nod, steps inside, eyes sweeping the room.

and then he sees you.

he doesn’t smile. he just looks.

and something about it makes your skin feel too tight.

you don’t say anything. neither does he. but the shift is immediate. like the air’s not yours anymore.

he’s taller than you expected. taller than jake, even. but lean—built like someone who moves fast but never runs. he doesn’t look like someone you’re supposed to be impressed by. he looks like someone who knows you already are.

his face is sharp. every angle defined like it was drawn with a ruler and no eraser. a high nose bridge. cut jawline. straight brows that make his expression unreadable. but it’s not just the bone structure—it’s the stillness. the way he doesn’t fidget. doesn’t smile too fast. doesn’t feel the need to do anything but exist.

your eyes meet for half a second. long enough to register how clear his skin is. how cold his stare feels. you look away first.

“this is my cousin,” jake announces, slapping a hand on sunghoon’s shoulder. “sunghoon. just got here from cali. he’s here for the weekend. maybe longer, if he likes it.”

sunghoon nods. looks around, taking in the living room like he’s scanning for threats. his eyes settle on you again.

“yo,” he says, voice low and casual. he nods once. “you’re…?”

jake says your name at the same time you do. sunghoon’s mouth twitches like he wants to smile, but doesn’t.

“cool,” he says. “nice to meet you.”

his voice isn’t cocky. it’s calm. a little too calm. you just nod. no words. just sip your drink and look somewhere—anywhere—else.

but he keeps looking. not long. not creepy. just… like he sees something he doesn’t quite get yet. and he’s deciding whether or not he wants to.

“you good?” jake asks him, grabbing a cup off the counter.

“yeah.” sunghoon sets his bag down by the door. “just tired. this place is nice though.”

“he thought we were lame,” jake tells you, clearly offended. “texted me last week like, ‘if your school’s so fun, why’s everyone online acting depressed?’”

“i said that once,” sunghoon mutters, taking the drink jake hands him. “and i wasn’t wrong.”

“he’s a hater,” jake says, then points at you. “she’s gonna change your mind.”

you blink. “what?”

“you got main character energy,” jake grins. “you’ll bring him around.”

you scoff. “he looks like he’d hate main characters.”

sunghoon actually smiles at that. just a little. and then he says, “not always.”

jungwon watches from the kitchen, still wiping the same spot on the counter that’s already clean.

he’s not eavesdropping. not really, he just… hears everything.

the way jake’s hyping sunghoon up. the way your voice dips when you respond. the way you don’t say much, but your body shifts to face him just a little more than usual.

you’re still holding your drink. still wearing his hoodie. but it’s like you’ve already floated somewhere else.

sunghoon doesn’t say much, but that’s the part that bothers jungwon the most.

he doesn’t need to. he’s got that look—cool and unreadable, like he knows exactly how he’s being perceived. like he knows the effect he has.

and you’re not falling for it, not really, but jungwon can see it. the little spark of curiosity in your eyes. the way your lips twitch at sunghoon’s joke. the way you sip your drink slower now, like you’re giving yourself a reason to stay planted in that moment.

he presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek.

he knows he’s not allowed to feel some type of way. he had chances. too many. he never says the right thing.

but watching sunghoon look at you like he’s already picking you apart—like he’s interested and not even pretending otherwise—it makes something cold settle in his chest.

he wipes the counter again, but he doesn’t realize his grip on the cloth has tightened. fuck.

[nctzendreamz]

goodnight n go — yang jungwon.

🎧 ➤ goodnight n go by ariana grande

GENRE. FLUFF. down bad for eachother but can’t say it out loud. only with actions.

SUMMARY. you tell Jungwon you’ve always wondered what it’s like to do couple things during the holidays—and without hesitation, he makes it happen.

AUTHORS NOTE. this absolutely warmed my cold heart. This man evokes things out of me I wasn’t aware was still there.

“jungwon, i’m not playing with you!” you squeal loudly, nearly tripping over your own feet as you chase him around the couch. he’s laughing so hard it’s a miracle he hasn’t dropped your phone yet. “damnit, jungwon!”

“you must have been—” he dodges left, then right, “looking at something—” he darts into the kitchen, “real embarrassing to be chasing me like this!”

he finally stops near the counter, grinning from ear to ear and completely unfazed by the fact that you’re out of breath and glaring daggers at him. “i wonder what it could be.” he questions in dramatic fashion, his finger poking his chin repeatedly as he looks into nothingness.

“jungwon,” you warn, hands on your hips, but it’s too late. his eyes land on the screen, and a mix of confusion and amusement washes over his face.

“gingerbread houses?” he says, reading the search history aloud. “how much does a gingerbread house cost?”

you freeze, your face instantly heating up. “give that back!”

he ignores you, his expression shifting into something so genuinely curious it’s almost infuriating. “why were you looking this up? are you suddenly into architecture? or… are you planning to eat an entire gingerbread house by yourself?”

you snatch the phone from his hand, groaning as you clutch it to your chest. “no, it’s not like that.”

“then what’s it like?” he asks, leaning casually against the counter. you so badly want to be upset with him, but his dimpled smile beaming in your face is making it impossible.

you let out a sigh, deciding it’s better to just explain than deal with his endless teasing. “it’s something couples do during christmas,” you mumble.

his brow furrows slightly, and he tilts his head. “couples?”

“yeah,” you say, shifting awkwardly under his gaze. “you know, building gingerbread houses together, wearing matching pajamas, taking cringy pictures… that kind of stuff.”

he’s staring at you now, his amusement fading into something softer, something more thoughtful. “and you wanted to do that?”

“i mean…” you shrug, trying to play it off. “i thought about it. but since i don’t exactly have the other half of the couple, i figured maybe i’d just do it by myself. pajamas and all.”

jungwon doesn’t respond right away. he’s just looking at you, his expression unreadable, but there’s something in his eyes that makes your stomach flip.

if you’re being honest, you don’t know what you and jungwon truly have going on. but it’s not for lack of clarity—it’s for lack of courage. because deep down, you both know. you know it in the way his eyes linger on you a little too long, in the way he remembers every offhanded comment you make, in the way your heart races whenever he smiles at you like you’re the only person in the room.

you weren’t entirely sure at first. jungwon’s the kind of guy who’s sweet to everyone, with a charm that feels effortless. it was easy to convince yourself that the way he treated you was just…him being him. until one day, you casually mentioned hanging out with another guy—a friend from work who’d been pestering you about grabbing coffee. you hadn’t thought much of it, but jungwon froze mid-bite of his ramen, chopsticks hovering in the air like the universe had suddenly paused.

“who?” he asked, his tone deceptively casual, but the furrow in his brows betrayed him.

you laughed, not understanding why he looked so confused. “just a friend,” you said, shrugging it off.

“a friend?” he repeated, his voice pitching slightly higher. he placed his chopsticks down, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. “what kind of friend?”

you blinked at him, unsure why he was grilling you like this. “the normal kind? what other kind is there?”

he narrowed his eyes. “the kind that wants something more.”

your stomach flipped at the implication, but you played it cool. “what does it matter to you?”

jungwon’s jaw clenched, and for a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something. but then he just sighed, shaking his head. “it doesn’t,” he muttered, picking up his chopsticks again.

except it did. you could see it in the way he wouldn’t meet your eyes for the rest of the meal, the way he suddenly got quieter. it was like he couldn’t bring himself to say it, but the weight of what he felt was written all over his face.

and that’s when you knew.

but knowing and saying it out loud are two very different things.

so you kept hanging out, like you always did. no labels, no confessions—just spending time together, letting the unspoken feelings linger in the air between you. and maybe that’s why it works. because neither of you feels the need to rush. you’re slowly falling for each other, piece by piece, day by day.

“what?” you ask, suddenly self-conscious.

“nothing,” he says, a small smile tugging at his lips as he shakes his head. “you’re just… funny.”

you frown. “funny how?”

“i don’t know,” he says, pushing off the counter and walking past you to the living room. “you just are.”

you follow him, phone still clutched in your hand, watching as he flops onto the couch like he didn’t just say something cryptic.

“so, what do you want to eat?” he asks, grabbing the remote and flipping through channels like the conversation you just had didn’t happen.

your brows knit together. “that’s it? you’re not gonna say anything else about the gingerbread houses?”

he glances at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “what else is there to say? if you want to build a gingerbread house, build one. who cares if it’s cringey?”

all you can do is flip him off before plopping down beside him.

a lazy grin rests on his face. “so, food? yes? no?”

you roll your eyes but can’t help the smile that creeps onto yours. “yes. but we’re getting my favorite after the distress you just put me though, twin.”

a couple of days pass, and life goes on in its usual rhythm. jungwon texts you here and there, nothing out of the ordinary. it’s a mix of random memes, updates on whatever he’s doing, and the occasional “you up?” when he’s bored at night. but tonight, his message feels different.

jungwon: what are you doing tonight?

your heart skips a beat, even though you’re not entirely sure why. it’s not like it’s weird for him to ask. still, the question makes your stomach do this weird, excited flip.

you: nothing really. why?

his reply comes almost immediately.

jungwon: i’m coming over. be ready in an hour.

you: should I be afraid?????

he doesn’t answer. instead, you’re left staring at your phone, trying to figure out what he’s up to.

an hour later, there’s a knock at your door, and when you open it, jungwon is standing there with a ridiculously large bag in one hand and a takeout bag in the other. he’s grinning, that dimpled smile lighting up his face, and you feel your heart do that thing again.

“what’s all this?” you ask, stepping aside to let him in.

“you’ll see,” he says, kicking off his shoes and heading straight to your living room like he owns the place.

you follow him, watching as he sets everything down on the coffee table. first, he pulls out two gingerbread house kits, complete with icing, candy, and all the little decorations. then, he pulls out a set of matching pajamas—red and white with little snowflakes printed all over them.

“jungwon…” you say, your voice trailing off as you take it all in.

“and your favorite,” he adds, holding up the takeout bag with a triumphant smile.

you blink at him, completely caught off guard. “what… what is all this?”

he shrugs, like it’s no big deal, but there’s a hint of nervousness in the way he avoids your eyes. “you said you wanted to do all that cringey couple stuff for christmas, right? so… let’s do it.”

your chest tightens, a mix of disbelief and something softer, warmer. “you actually remembered that?”

“of course, i remembered,” he says, finally looking at you. “i remember everything you say.”

for a moment, you don’t know what to say. it’s such a small gesture, but it feels like so much more. like he’s showing you, in his own quiet way, how much he cares.

“you’re so weird,” you say, trying to hide the smile tugging at your lips.

“says the girl who was going to eat a whole gingerbread house by herself…” he trails, his face making an expression that says sureeeee. he sits down on the floor and pats the spot next to him.

“kiss it.” you mutter, rolling your eyes playfully.

“kiss what?” his eyes widen.

“my ass.” you slap your behind for dramatic effect—the sound echoing off your walls. did it hurt? yes. would you let him see that? no. jungwon’s eyes widen, and for the first time, he’s the one that’s frozen and unable to form a sentence. it’s only for a mere second though before he realizes his usually cool demeanor vanished. he shakes his head, as if he’s trying to remove the effect of your words and rubs the tips of his ears that are tinted pink.

anyone else wouldn’t have caught it. but it was you, so you did.

the jungwon, that jungwon wants everyone else to see, starts unpacking the gingerbread kits. you can’t help but steal a glance at him. there’s something about the way he’s so nonchalant about all of this, like it’s the most natural thing in the world for him to show up at your place with matching pajamas and your favorite food.

“so,” he says, breaking the silence. “are you ready to lose? because my gingerbread house is going to be way better than yours.”

you laugh, shaking your head. “we’ll see about that.”

jungwon carefully tears open the packet of icing, his brows furrowing in concentration. “you have to massage the icing bag first, you know. to warm it up,” he says, squeezing it between his hands like a professional baker.

you raise an eyebrow. “oh, so you’re a gingerbread house expert now?”

he looks up at you with mock seriousness. “obviously. you’re looking at the reigning champion of the 6th grade holiday fair. i crushed the competition.

“wow, i’m so intimidated,” you deadpan, ripping open your own icing packet with way less finesse than him.

he leans over slightly, just close enough for you to catch a whiff of his cologne—subtle, clean, and entirely too distracting. “you should be,” he murmurs, a teasing lilt in his voice.

you roll your eyes, but there’s a warmth spreading in your chest. this is how it always is with jungwon—light, playful, easy. but underneath all the teasing, there’s something softer.

“okay, watch and learn,” he announces, picking up one of the gingerbread walls and carefully piping a line of icing along the edge. “this is how you lay a solid foundation.”

“foundation?” you scoff. “it’s a gingerbread house, not a skyscraper.”

“and that’s why you’re going to lose,” he replies smugly, pressing the pieces together with meticulous precision.

you pretend to be unimpressed, but you’re secretly charmed by how seriously he’s taking this. as you attempt to glue your own walls together, one of them immediately collapses, the icing smearing all over your hands.

“oh, no,” you groan, holding up your sticky fingers.

jungwon looks over and snickers. “what happened to ‘it’s just a gingerbread house’?”

“shut up and help me,” you grumble, trying to balance the pieces with one hand while reaching for the icing with the other.

he scoots closer, his knee brushing against yours as he steadies the walls for you. “you have to hold it like this,” he says, his voice low as his hands gently guide yours.

the proximity makes your heart stutter, but you do your best to play it cool. “you’re just trying to sabotage me so yours looks better,” you accuse, glancing up at him.

his eyes meet yours, and for a second, neither of you says anything. there’s a flicker of something unspoken in his gaze, something that makes your breath catch.

“maybe,” he says softly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

you clear your throat, breaking the moment. “well, it’s working. i can’t focus with you this close.”

“then i guess i’ll stay right here,” he says, his tone casual but his eyes lingering on you a little too long.

you huff, turning your attention back to your gingerbread house. “you’re insufferable.”

“and yet, here i am,” he quips, settling back into his spot but staying close enough that your shoulders still brush occasionally.

as the night goes on, the competition turns into chaos. jungwon gets icing on his nose at some point, and you laugh so hard you accidentally knock over one of his walls. he retaliates by flicking a piece of candy at you, which starts an all-out candy war.

“truce!” you finally gasp, holding up your hands in surrender.

“only if you admit my house is better,” he says, his dimples on full display.

you roll your eyes but lean in closer, inspecting his work. “it’s not bad,” you admit, reaching out to straighten one of the candy canes on the roof.

your hand lingers a moment too long, and you realize just how close you are to him. he’s watching you, his expression soft, like he’s seeing something he can’t quite put into words.

“what?” you ask, your voice quieter now.

“nothing,” he says, but the way he looks at you says everything.

the moment stretches, filled with a warmth that feels almost tangible. and though neither of you says it out loud, it’s there in the way he gently nudges your shoulder, in the way you lean into him without even thinking.

“so,” you say, breaking the silence with a grin. “are you going to admit that i won?”

“pictures or it didn’t happen,” jungwon declares, pulling out his phone and snapping a dramatic photo of his gingerbread house. “look at this masterpiece. the symmetry, the structure—pure genius. i think i could sell this design.”

you lean over, squinting at the screen. “symmetry? jungwon, one of your candy canes is literally sliding off the roof. are you going for a modern look or just chaos?”

he gasps, clutching his chest like you’ve just mortally wounded him. “chaos? this is art, y/n. you just don’t get it.”

“right,” you drawl, crossing your arms but fighting back a smile. “you keep telling yourself that.”

jungwon shakes his head, clearly unimpressed with your critique. “okay, then let’s get the artist and the critic in one shot. come on.”

“what? no.” you lean back, shaking your head as he switches his phone to selfie mode.

“yes,” he insists, already angling the phone to get both of you and your gingerbread houses in frame. “this is for the archives. future generations need to know who built these masterpieces.”

“future generations are going to laugh at yours,” you shoot back, but you lean in anyway.

jungwon tilts the phone slightly, and you realize how close you are when your cheek almost brushes his. your laughter dies down, replaced by a warmth that makes your stomach flutter.

“okay, smile,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost like he’s talking to himself.

you glance at him instead of the camera, and for a split second, you wonder if he’s feeling the same thing you are.

then he snaps the picture and grins, pulling you out of your thoughts. “perfect,” he says, showing you the photo.

it’s cute. annoyingly cute. and the way his arm is casually slung around your shoulders doesn’t help the situation.

“all right, we’re done,” you announce, trying to shake off the tension.

jungwon raises an eyebrow. “done? we’re just getting started.” he uploads the picture to his finsta without hesitation, captioning it: couples who build together stay together.

your jaw drops, and you swat at him. “jungwon, what the hell?!”

he laughs, easily dodging you. “relax, y/n. it’s just my finsta. nobody cares.”

“oh, nobody cares? what about the word couples, huh?!” your voice pitches slightly, your face warming.

“what about it?” he counters, his expression too calm for your liking.

you pause, trying to think of a response, but the weight of the moment settles between you again.

“i—whatever,” you mutter, turning your attention back to the gingerbread kits to avoid looking at him.

jungwon watches you for a moment before grabbing his phone again. “okay, now let’s do this properly,” he says, standing up and heading toward the makeshift tripod he set up.

“do what properly?”

“matching pajamas, full couple vibes,” he explains, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “you wanted the experience, right?”

you huff but head to your room to change. when you come back, jungwon is already posing dramatically, pretending to lean on his gingerbread house like it’s a prize-winning sculpture.

“wow, someone’s really feeling himself,” you tease, but you can’t help smiling.

he flashes you his dimpled grin. “well, someone has to make this night memorable. now, get over here.”

you join him, and as the camera clicks away, you feel yourself relaxing again.

“these pictures better not end up anywhere else,” you warn as he scrolls through the shots.

jungwon just hums, clearly not listening, before setting his phone down. “hey,” he says suddenly, his voice softer now.

“what?” you ask, turning to look at him.

“thanks for letting me crash your night,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “i know this was kind of random.”

“are you kidding?” you laugh lightly. “you showed up with food, matching pajamas, and gingerbread houses. i should be thanking you.”

he meets your eyes then, and for a moment, it feels like the air is too thick to breathe. the playful banter fades, leaving only the unspoken tension that’s been building for weeks.

you open your mouth to say something, anything, but jungwon beats you to it.

“do you want to watch a movie or something?” he asks, his voice casual, like he’s trying to defuse the moment.

you nod, swallowing hard. “yeah. a movie sounds good.”

jungwon settles onto the couch first, stretching out like like a baby . “come here,” he says, opening his arms like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

your breath catches. you’ve sat close to him before—legs over his lap, arms brushing, sharing blankets during movie nights. but this? this is new.

“you sure?” you ask, your voice quieter than you mean it to be.

he gives you a look, half amused, half serious. “i wouldn’t have asked if i wasn’t.”

with a small nod, you sit beside him, easing into his arms like you’ve been doing this your whole life. his chest is warm and steady beneath your cheek, and you can feel his heartbeat—a calm, unhurried rhythm that contrasts the storm swirling in your own.

you don’t realize how tired you’ve been until you let yourself relax against him. maybe it’s the rush of the evening catching up to you, or maybe it’s just jungwon. he has this way of making you feel safe, like nothing else in the world matters when you’re with him.

his fingers trace absent patterns along your arm, sending a quiet hum of comfort through your body. you yawn, trying to hide it, but jungwon chuckles softly.

“sleepy already?” he murmurs, his voice low and teasing.

“shut up,” you mumble into his hoodie, your words muffled but not entirely untrue.

he doesn’t respond, just pulls you closer, his chin resting lightly on top of your head.

the world narrows to this—his warmth, his scent, the way his chest rises and falls beneath you. you don’t even notice when your eyes flutter shut, the exhaustion winning over.

a moment passes, or maybe more. you’re not sure how long you’ve been drifting when you feel it—a gentle, almost hesitant pressure against your forehead.

you stir slightly, but you don’t open your eyes.

then, the kiss comes again. firmer this time, confident. jungwon’s lips linger just long enough to make your heart skip.

your eyes flutter open, and the world feels softer somehow, like everything has shifted in the quietest, most significant way. jungwon’s face is close, his eyes searching yours like he’s trying to figure out what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling.

you don’t know who moves first. maybe it’s him, maybe it’s you. but the space between you disappears, and suddenly, his lips are on yours.

it’s soft at first, like he’s testing the waters, but when you kiss him back, the hesitance melts away. the kiss deepens, slow and sweet, carrying the weight of every unspoken word, every stolen glance, every moment that’s led to this.

when you finally pull back, your forehead rests against his, both of you breathing a little harder, a little shakier.

“so,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “does this mean i won the gingerbread competition?”

jungwon chuckles softly, his fingers brushing against yours. “yeah,” he says, his voice warm and steady. “but i think i won something better.”

your heart stutters, his words washing over you like a confession wrapped in simplicity. you meet his gaze, and the way he’s looking at you—soft, steady, and so sure—makes it hard to breathe.

you don’t reply, because what could you possibly say? instead, you lean in, closing the space between you, your lips finding his again. it’s unhurried, sweet, and everything you’ve been too afraid to admit until now.

[nctzendreamz]

HEATED KISSES — Heeseung, Jake, Sunghoon, and Jungwon ♡

You know, those times where the kisses get heated…

Heeseung

It started at the arcade the two of you went to, per your begging, where Heeseung couldn't seem to let you go anywhere without him lingering on your backside and burying his nose in the nape of your neck. You knew something was on his mind, because he usually did a good job of keeping himself composed around you especially in public, but you couldn't tell if he had just missed you a lot, had a bad day, or both. Even on the way home was his large hand gripped on the inside of your thigh, rubbing gentles circles while he pressed gentle kisses on your forehead.

You wanted to look in his eyes so badly, but the way you had been pooling all day due to his constant affection towards you, you knew you could easily lose control and the two of you hadn't taken things to that level yet. Neither of you wanted to feel like a piece of meat, and both of you wanted the other to know how serious you were about each other.

"Can Y/N come inside for a bit, hyung?" Heeseung asks sweetly. He's trying so hard to contain himself and keep his voice light, but all he could think about was placing you against the nearest surface and connecting his lips to yours.

"Yeah, but keep it down. Be back in 20 minutes." His manager playfully presses his point finger to your head and shoves gently, causing you to giggle.

Heeseung walked inside first, removing all the garments he wore to protect his identity, and you did the same. You weren't sure if the other boys were out or asleep, but the dorm was extremely quiet, leaving the two of you with some privacy.

You followed your boyfriend to the kitchen and leaned against the counter, not knowing exactly what to do or say because all you could feel was your heartbeat pulsating, and not just in your chest. It was almost as if Heeseung could hear it too, judging by the way his eyes were piercing into you. It was odd how you could always read him. While you didn't know before, you definitely knew now that his lingering touches were because he felt the exact same way you did.

He didn't speak but slowly began to walk towards you until his slim figure towered over you. Your eyes refused to leave each other, and you could feel his shaky breath screaming for release.

"I'm sorry, baby. There's just something about you today... I can't control myself. But I'm really trying."

It was adorable how disappointed in himself he sounded. You placed your hands on the bottom of his shirt, causing his breath to hitch. As you began rubbing near the belt of his jeans, his lips connected to yours in a kiss more intense than you had ever shared before.

Heeseung's lips were soft but insistent, moving against yours with a fervor that sent shivers down your spine. His hands roamed up your back, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed tightly together. You could feel his heartbeat pounding against your chest, matching the wild rhythm of your own.

A soft moan escaped his lips, a sound so beautiful it made your knees weak. You tangled your fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss as his hands found their way under your shirt, caressing the bare skin of your waist. Every touch ignited a fire within you, making you crave more of him.

Heeseung's kisses trailed down your jawline to your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he murmured your name. The sensation was almost too much to bear, each kiss sending waves of pleasure through your body. You arched into him, your hands exploring the contours of his back, feeling the muscles tense and relax under your touch.

His hips began to grind against yours, the friction driving you both to the brink of madness. You matched his pace, your bodies moving in perfect harmony, lost in the moment. It felt as if fireworks were exploding inside you, each spark fueled by his touch and his taste.

Just when you thought you couldn't take any more, Heeseung's hands slipped inside your shorts, while yours found their way into his jeans. The sensation was electric, and you both gasped at the intensity of the connection. His lips captured yours again, the kiss more urgent, more desperate, as if he couldn't get enough of you.

Your hands explored each other with newfound boldness, touching places that had only been left to the imagination before. Heeseung's kisses grew hungrier, more demanding, and you responded with equal fervor, your bodies moving together in a dance of passion and desire.

Heeseung's moans were music to your ears, his voice a perfect blend of need and pleasure. His touch was driving you wild, and you felt as if you were about to explode from the sheer intensity of it all. Just when you thought you couldn't take any more, his phone began to ring.

He struggled to pull away from you, his breath ragged, his eyes filled with frustration. "It's been 20 minutes," he breathed out, still frazzled from your interaction. "I'm... I'm sorry, I know that we—"

You pressed a kiss to his lips once more, silencing him. "I love you, Heeseung. I'll text you when I get home."

Jake

“Do I look good? Hmm?” you asked, your voice tinged with playful curiosity. You can’t help but notice the intense way Jake is eyeing you, a dangerous glint in his gaze. He leans against the doorframe of the dressing room, arms crossed, as you try on the dresses he had meticulously picked out for you. Each outfit seems to draw his attention more, his eyes roaming over every detail, making your heart race.

He chuckles, and it warms your body that’s revealing itself little by little as you take off the last dress you were trying on in this store. “Good as hell, love.” He utters in a low voice, his aussie accent thick.

“Yeah?” You tease.

“Yeah.” He affirms.

You grab your jeans and attempt to put them on, until you feel Jake's cold fingertips stop you in your tracks. He steps closer, his breath hot against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You can feel the tension building between you, an electric charge in the air that's impossible to ignore.

"Jake..." you whisper, but your words are cut off as his lips crash into yours, urgent and demanding. His hands slide down to your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepens.

Your hands tangle in his hair, and you can feel his heart beating just as fast as yours.

The world outside the dressing room fades away as his lips move against yours, the kiss growing more heated by the second. His touch is everywhere, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. You break apart just long enough to catch your breath, foreheads pressed together, the air thick with desire.

"Control yourself." you murmur, a teasing smile on your lips.

Jake's eyes darken with a smoldering intensity as he leans in for another kiss, his answer clear in the way he devours your lips with renewed passion.

“You make it impossible, being all sexy and shit like that.”

Sunghoon

"So you're telling me you don't see that?" Niki whispers to you quietly, a sly smirk on his face.

The "that" he was referring to was Sunghoon allegedly staring at you from across the room, with what Niki described as a look that could best be described as "pure hatred" towards your playful interaction. The moment you turn around to look at Sunghoon, because you never were the type to back down from him, you think he's going to turn away in shame, but he doesn't. He holds your gaze, unflinching.

"Go ahead and lie. Say you don't see it," Niki emphasizes. This snaps you out of your trance, causing you to whip your head back to him.

"Sunghoon could care less about me and what I'm doing," you utter. "Sometimes I wonder if he even likes me."

You don't mean it. You don't think? He could just be too... cool when it came to you sometimes. So much so that you had to double-check with the members to see if he even liked you for real. You weren't flirting with Niki by any means, but you'd be lying if you said Sunghoon's seemingly angry glare didn’t make you feel…good.

"Uh oh," Niki mutters, swiftly walking away from you.

Before you can even turn to see why he pulled a disappearing act on you, you feel Sunghoon's hand grabbing your wrist tightly and pulling you down the hall to the bathroom. He shuts the door swiftly before backing you into it, his eyes burning with intensity.

Without a word, he presses his lips to yours in a jealous rage. The kiss is fierce, filled with a possessiveness you've never felt from him before. His hands grip your waist, pulling you closer, and you can feel the raw emotion in his touch.

"Sunghoon," you manage to gasp between kisses, but he silences you with another searing kiss, his lips moving against yours with a desperation that takes your breath away.

He pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, his voice low and rough. "I care more than you think. And I don't want to see you with anyone else."

Your heart pounds in your chest as his words sink in. You reach up, tangling your fingers in his hair, and pull him back down for another kiss, this one softer but no less intense. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as if he's afraid to let go.

In that moment, all your doubts and insecurities melt away, leaving only the heat of the kiss and the undeniable truth of Sunghoon's feelings for you.

Jungwon

You and Jungwon's drunken giggles filled your apartment as you both struggled to stay upright, stumbling and swaying with each step.

"How did we let this happen?" he wheezes, collapsing to the ground just as you did a few seconds ago-the cause of your seemingly unstoppable laughter in the first place.

"I give up," you sigh, letting yourself drop beside him, nuzzling into the side of his neck. His body melts into yours instantly, his arm wrapping around your waist to pull you closer.

Your eyes are mere inches apart, and his dimple appears, his eyes conveying his love for you without needing to speak a word.

Both of you had always been so shy with each other, but the alcohol in your systems had dissolved those barriers.

"I want to kiss you," he utters softly, his breath warm against your skin.

Your heart flutters at his words, and you feel a surge of affection. You tilt your head slightly, and as your lips meet his, what starts as a tender, hesitant kiss quickly ignites into something more intense. The world around you fades away as the kiss deepens, a spark of electricity passing between you.

His hand moves to cradle your face, his thumb gently caressing your cheek before sliding into your hair. Your own hands find their way to his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken under your touch. His lips press harder against yours, parting slightly to invite a deeper connection. You respond eagerly, your tongues meeting in a passionate dance that sends waves of heat through your body.

Jungwon's other hand slides down to your waist, pulling you even closer until there's no space left between you. You can feel the warmth of his body against yours, and the sensation is intoxicating. Your fingers trace the lines of his jaw, committing every detail to memory as the kiss continues, each moment more fervent than the last.

When you finally pull away to catch your breath, his eyes remain locked on yours, dark and filled with desire. His forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing heavily, the air charged with the intensity of the moment.

"I love you," he whispers, his voice husky and filled with emotion.

"I love you too," you reply, your heart swelling with the undeniable truth of your feelings.

In that moment, surrounded by the remnants of your laughter and the warmth of each other's embrace, you realize that this love, so long unspoken, has finally found its voice in the most beautiful way.

[nctzendreamz]

As Mark lies next to you, you can't help but smile adoringly. He's exhausted, yet he's battling the slumber that's attempting to take hold of him, just so he can affectionately gaze into your eyes. Every few minutes, his eyelids close and his head begins to sink into your couch, but he quickly catches himself, startling awake.

His hands are at a respectful place, your left hip, and yours have been caressing his cheek, scalp, and neck since the minute he laid down. This moment, although it won’t last long considering he has to leave in the morning, is so fulfilling.

“Go to sleep.” Your try your best to make your smile warm and inviting. You continue rubbing gentle circles onto him, but on his earlobe now, hoping it will be even more confirmation for him that you’re not upset at his exhaustion. His hand lifts from your hips for a mere second in protest, and you smile deviously as you know his resentment is coming from a place of deep comfort. The longer you rub, the more tired he gets, and he doesn’t want to be tired.

“I’m good. Let me just enjoy this, please. I haven’t seen you in way too long.” He wines, scooting closer to you. Your nose is on his now, and you can’t help but giggle as he begins to wiggle his eyebrows at you, as if that’s going to make you stop your antics.

“Utterly in love” is the term to describe the warm and fuzzy feeling you get whenever he’s around. He’s as perfect as a human being can be, and you’re not sure if he’s in love with you too yet, but you really hope he is. He has to feel something deeper than like with you at this point, considering instead of going back to his dorm and collapsing due to his intense schedules, he called you, begging to lay up with you because “I just wanna feel you in my arms tonight.”

You force him down on the sofa and climb on top of him, pressing his soft cheeks into your palms. In a delicate and encouraging kiss, your lips meet his, and he melts into yours. His breathing is slow and easy as his strong arms wrap around your waist, drawing you in as close as he can.

“Rest.” You giggle once you pull away. Your fingertips try to close his eyelids, and for a brief second, you believe you've won, but his doe eyes open at you again. He swallows hard, as if he had a secret to reveal but doesn't want to be judged for it.

“Say it.” You whisper encouragingly, although you have no idea what he could have on his mind. You know it will be sweet and romantic—definitely along the lines of him telling you how much appreciates you for always being so understanding, but he always says things like that to you. So what can it be?

“I think—I really think I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

Your heart stops for a split second before restarting. You're sweating profusely and itching all over, but you can't scratch because you don't want Mark to see how he's eroding your frigid aura day by day.

"I know I'm head over heels in love with you." You exclaim, exhaling a breath you weren't even aware you were holding.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Nothing else needs to be said after this. Mark smiles at you in a way that you’d never seen him look at anything before, not even himself in a mirror. His hands are on your cheeks now, pulling you in for a kiss that shows you that there is no question about it—he’s in love with you too.

[nctzendreamz]

THIN APOLOGIES / PART 1

SUMMARY ✰ Mark is your boyfriend, and Vernon is your best friend. You're sick of Mark not treating you right, and Vernon is too. He's also sick of watching from the sidelines when he knows no one can make you happier than him.

PAIRING ✰ Idol!Mark x Idol!Reader x Idol!Vernon

GENRE ✰ ANGST & FLUFF

NOTE ✰ This is actually the first story I ever wrote in my entire life three years ago. It’s my baby. I said to myself, I should rewrite this because the original version was written like the beginner I was at the time. I hope you all enjoy. It’s so good.

© moonlightdreamzz

Blonde by Frank Ocean has been playing on loop for hours over your speakers. For what seems like days, your gaze has been fixed on the candle blazing in front of you. There are numerous reasons why you can't take your eyes off its flame—the first being that if you do, you'll be forced to see all of the decorations and food you prepared for Mark, who has decided for the third time in a row that you aren't important enough to show up for. All of his favorite things are strewn throughout your living room, unused.

The second reason you can't tear your gaze away from the flame is that you're intrigued. The lavender-scented wax is nearing the end of its life after being used for so long. What happens when there’s none left? Does the flame die peacefully? Or does the jar burn and combust, leaving you regretting not extinguishing the flame sooner?

Sick isn't the word to describe how your boyfriend has made you feel over the past few months. You’ve tried to see the positives of his absence right now, but it’s utterly impossible. What could you say to yourself? At least you got ditched in the comfort of your own home this time, Y/N? And not in a restaurant, or a random parking lot his manager drove you to?

Mark always has his excuses of course. His favorite one to use was that you don’t understand the sacrifices it takes to be an idol. When the two of you first began to have issues, you took those words to heart. You know how much he’s sacrificed to be where he is, and you never wanted him to think you were that girl—the girl who got in a relationship with an idol and acted like she didn’t know what she was signing up for. As time passed, you realized that he was just manipulating you.

He’s so good at it too. Or maybe he’s just an incredibly beautiful man, whose doe eyes could convince anybody that he indeed is a good person—he just doesn’t think sometimes. You just wish he’d understand that you indeed do understand his life, it’s simply his unfulfilled promises that are so incredibly frustrating. Summer Walker once said, “it doesn’t matter how hard I I try, I say it nice, yell it out loud, write it down, I’m tired.” She damn sure was right.

“Why plan a date you can’t come to? Just tell me it’ll be awhile before I’ll see you again.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I thought I could make it.”

Your phone begins vibrating on your coffee table infront of you, interrupting the reflecting that you’re tired of doing anyways. You know it’s Mark, back again with whatever his reason is this time for not showing up. For a second, you consider not picking it up. Maybe if he knew what it felt like to be abandoned, he’d stop doing it to you.

You inhale deeply before picking up the phone, surprised at whose name is popping up.

“Vernon?” You whisper to yourself. You feel a brief burst of happiness before immediately shifting to concern due to the time of night.

You and Vernon have been close friends since debut. Some would say it’s because you two are the English speakers of your group, but you only saw that as a plus in your friendship. In reality, Vernon was a quirky, artsy, adorably curious boy, and you always felt this weird urge to…protect him. You figure he was drawn to how you never judged him, and how open you were about what you referred to as “Vernon’s philosophies”. He got your jokes, and you pretended you understood his. The rest is history.

Laughter escapes your throat, scaring you simultaneously as you can’t remember the last time you genuinely found anything funny. In the midst of your giggles, Vernon begins to FaceTime you, and you don’t hesitate to answer the phone.

You can see through the phone how hard he’s trying to be irritated with you, but you also notice how bad he’s failing at doing so. The corner of his pink lips are twitching, and his hooded eyes are melting along with it as neither of you break virtual eye contact with each other. This only makes you laugh even harder. His flawless features don’t hold long, and he’s smirking boyishly now.

“You really think this is funny, huh?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well you know what I think is funny right now? You’re alone right now.” He jokes.

“Ha ha,” You laugh sarcastically, “Am I really this worthless? Like be honest.” You question, a sad smile naturally creeping onto your features as reality attempts to set back in.

Vernon’s eyes roll aggressively, followed by a deep inhale. You know him. He wants to tell you about yourself, and remind you of all the times you promised him you’d have more confidence, just to end up asking him questions like this in the end. It takes him longer than you expected to find kind words to say to you, but you appreciate the fact that he cares enough to spare you, because he wouldn’t do it for anyone else.

“Don’t ever call yourself worthless. He’s the worthless one. If he can’t see how amazing you are,that’s his problem and you shouldn’t just sit here and take it, Y/N. That’s not even like you.”

“But…I love him.”

“Yeah...that always sucks doesn’t it?” He says, almost as if he’s speaking to himself and not you. “I know it’s late, but how about I come keep you company Y/N?. You deserve to be happy for at least a few hours don’t you think?” He chuckles.

He’s no longer looking directly at you. He’s looking at whatever is below him now. Vernon coming to keep you company isn’t a terrible idea. Right now, you so deeply crave to be around someone who actually cares about you, and he’s a clear candidate.

“Yeah! Let me get dressed and I’ll come pick you up.”

“Do really think I’d let you leave your house at this hour to do anything for me?”

“Well, how else are you gonna get here? You don’t have a car and I know your manager is knocked out.”

His boyish smile returns, and you already know a sarcastic comment is closer than around the corner. “You ever heard of uber?”

Now you’re the one rolling your eyes. Was this okay? I mean, the two of you are only friends, but Dispatch nor fans would care about that if they so happened to be stalking you. Him coming over late could turn into a whole situation that you aren’t in the mood to hear about.

“What if you get caught?” You question, although unconsciously do you begin to tidy up in your living room.

“I didn’t.”

He didn’t? Was he already—

Your doorbell ringing interrupts your thoughts.

“Vernon!” You scream through the phone, so many questions running through your mind.

“Are you going to let me in, or are we gonna hangout from outside the door?” He snickers slyly.

You should have known he was up to no good the moment you couldn't identify where he was from his surroundings. All you saw was darkness, but you imagined he was walking around his neighborhood or simply in the dark, because that was so Vernon.

With precision and quickness, you run to the door and open it. You’re still dolled up; face beat like it’s prom night from the date you should’ve been wrapping up by now. Vernon steps in, and for a second it seems like he’s frozen in place. It’s embarrassing, as you often got reactions like this when you dressed up because without an occasion, you were going to choose sweatpants, a graphic tee, and crocs everytime.

“Woah.” He utters.

“What? You just saw me on the phone, Vernon.” You question amusingly before walking to your kitchen to grab him a water.

“Thank you.” He whispers as he takes it out of your hand. “It’s just…you’re so…ugly.”

You know that he thinks you’re going to hit him immediately, so you wait an extra second before punching him lightly in his stomach.

“Shut up!” You laugh, loudly this time. It’s a rare occurrence these days for anything to unconsume your mind of Mark Lee, but Vernon’s doing that with ease right now. “You stay your ass right there and I’ll be back. I should probably take all this off.” You whisper while pointing to you and all your current glory.

“Take your time.” Vernon utters, no funny business in the room now. His smile is gentle as he nudges you towards your room.

You began walking in slow motion down your hallway. “Oh trust me, I will.” It doesn’t take you long to strip down to your natural state. You remove your clothes first, settling on a gray t-shirt you’ve had for years. If you didn’t have company, you’d stop it at that. You decide on some matching gray pajama shorts. The sight of Mark’s clothes in the drawer pisses you off all over again. As you remove your makeup, you can't help but squeal with delight. The wipes that you bought in replacement of the ones that took way too many to clean your face, was worth the investment.

The final touch is your bonnet, which you slip on your head with ease. Your icy feet drag over the hallway floor, a flood of fatigue washing over you.

“Awe.” Vernon coos when you reappear. In the midst of you getting ready for bed, he carefully placed all of the decorations you left out for Mark out of sight in the kitchen. He really wanted to throw it away, but that wasn’t his decision to make. Netflix is waiting for two of you.

“Don’t awe me.” You plop yourself on the couch so hard you’re pretty sure Vernon levitates for a second. You push the button to recline your seat, shutting your eyes right and leaning your head back with a sigh. “Thank you, Vernon.” You say the second you realize he cleaned up your clutter. The room feels less heavy now that you’re not forced to look at your wasted hard work. You feel his gaze on you, but energetically, you can’t interpret why he’s staring at you. You’ll settle on pity.

“Ah, I haven’t done much. Plus, you’ve always been there for me.”

Your comfort turns into guilt, recalling all the times you haven’t been there for your close friend in the midst of you and Mark’s relationship crashing. “Not like this.” You utter.

“Well, no you haven’t surprised me with a big box of donuts and a new video game,” He chuckles, “But you’ve been there for me. A lot of times unknowingly, if I’m being honest. Your presence alone…does a lot for me—I mean, for people.” He rambles. “Plus, I’m one of a kind, anyways.”

A smile creeps onto your features at him teasing you lovingly. You’re beginning to doze off, which typically makes you stare at things unintentionally. Your target tonight is Vernon, who is sitting extremely close to you right now. Your hand begins to entangle themselves in his locs, causing his eyes to flutter in relaxation.

“Enough about me.” You protest softly, “What’s going on in the life of Hansol, hm?”

“Nothing much,” He whispers, enjoying the feeling of your hands running through his scalp. His eyes are stuck on the ceiling, but you know he’s still listening to you. “I’m like a robot these days. I wake up, go to practice, go back to the dorm, sleep, repeat.”

“Why didn’t eat make the list?”

“Oh yeah, that too. But you know me. If I have to pick between sleeping and eating, I’m picking the first option.”

“Oh I know.” You can’t count on one hand the amount of times you scolded Vernon for sleeping too much, even though you do the same thing the second you get a break from schedules.

“Too much of a good thing, is a bad thing, Vernon.”

“Not everything.” He whispers, seemingly dazed out now. You’re ceiling wasn’t that interesting. He has something on his mind, but you’re not sure if you want to pick his brain. If he wanted you to know what’s on his mind, he’d say it. At the same time, you’re his right hand woman, and he’ll just have to deal with you being in his business.

Your eyebrows raise in an interrogative fashion. “Give me an example?”

“You.” He says simply. His eyes lock themselves into yours confidently, but you’re unsure how to feel. What was he trying to say? Is he flirting? Is he just being kind? It’s always been so hard for you to understand him when he gets like this.

“What about me?” Is all you can manage. You’re not sure why you’re nervous now, but you are. You hope you’re not making it obvious that his comment has made your breathing unsteady.

“I’m just saying it’s impossible to get tired of you. ‘Too much’ of you,” he air quotes, “would make the world a much better place.”

“You think so?” You question genuinely. “Mark doesn’t seem to think so.”

“Mark is a fucking idiot.” He spits out.

“I’m not gonna disagree.”

“I mean look at everything you did for him today, just for him to not show up?” Vernon begins to frantically point in all directions of your home, including at yourself as well as your kitchen. “What kind of boyfriend doesn’t come home to this?”

Silence is the only thing you can provide right now. One because he’s right, but two, because you’ve never seen Vernon so riled up on your behalf. He was the one always talking you off cliffs, not the other way around.

“Sorry,” He clears his throat. His voice is back to his regular tone now.

“Don’t be. Thank you for caring about me.”

You don’t know why, but you feel a desire to nuzzle into Vernon’s shoulder, so you do. Naturally, he wraps his arm around your shoulder to allow you more comfortability. Maybe it’s wrong, maybe it’s not, but it doesn’t feel wrong being in his arms right now. You know if you consider Mark, you should pull away, but when’s the last time Mark considered you?

“Is this okay?” He questions, his tone a mixture of hope and concern as he’s likely reading your mind right now. He had a knick for that when it came to you.

“It’s okay.” You decide. I mean, who’s going to catch you?

The two of you lay like that for the remainder of the night, watching a movie that Vernon puts on, but you can't concentrate. All you can think of is how you're lying in the arms of another man, your heart fluttering. That isn't supposed to happen. However, your thoughts are brief because you quickly find yourself dozing off in his arms that feel as if they never want to let you go.

It’s the wee hours of the morning when your phone rings, and then vibrates, indicating someone has called and texted you.

You and Vernon sleep through it.

TO BE CONTINUED

© moonlightdreamzz

[nctzendreamz]

baby, it’s cold outside

in the midst of an intense snow storm you and sunwoo are trapped in tbz’s dorm together, giving you two nothing but time to talk about any and everything - including his feelings for you.

pairing: sunwoo x black!fem!reader

genre: very fluffy!! with slight angst. and slight smut at the end. hehe.

sigh. how did you not know that it was going to snow today? specifically the winter storm you had a front-row seat to, courtesy of sunwoo’s gigantic window that allowed you the perfect view of city.

the wind is blowing hard, forcing the white flakes to move around in a hectic manner. the streets are already beginning to go from black to white, all in thirty minutes. you had so many plans tonight, for one, not being stuck sleeping on sunwoo’s couch. you were separated from your bed by miles in the double digits, yet you could still hear it calling your name in desperation.

“you know,” sunwoo interrupts your thoughts. he hasn’t taken his eyes off you since the moment he realized you wouldn’t see or feel them burning holes into you. “staring at it isn’t going to make the storm pass by any faster.” he chuckles.

you were so precious, and you weren’t even trying. you never tried. everything about you was so effortlessly beautiful. he can’t lie - he’s a little hurt that you don’t seem ecstatic about being trapped in here with him, but what could he say? you weren’t his girl; he just wanted you to be. even so, his heart can’t but feel drained in his chest—as if it was tired for beating for you.

he had learned a long time ago that he needed to embrace your relationship for what it was instead of mourning what he felt it should be. you were his best friend, and he was yours. the two of you had an uncanny amount of things in common, but even in your differences did you two manage to grow together.

it has to be freezing outside with the number of layers you have on. your outfit consists of all black, minus the fuzzy beanie you sport on your head and your signature brown uggs. your hat is a jade green, a color the two of you agreed a long time ago was yours to own forever.

"i might as well take all of this off, hm?" you chuckle in subtle disappointment. your hat goes first. you swiftly toss it to sunwoo, knowing he will catch it with ease and he does. next is your coat, followed by your hoodie that you added for extra protection, and lastly your boots.

"don't sound so excited." sunwoo can't help but mock. he takes all of your belongings to the main closet, which was to the right when you stepped into the dorm. he didn't even have to press his nose to it to smell the sweet, yet citrus scent that always lingered on your soft skin. sometimes, he truly believed that you weren't real—that you had to be an angel on a secret mission to bring comfort to others on earth. to him.

meeting you was a complete accident. a beautiful one, but an accident all the same. he had relived the day in his dreams so many times and he could never forget not even the smallest detail when telling the story to another.

it was backstage at music bank, and sunwoo was in a hurry to get back his dressing room as the boyz were up next to perform. the only problem was, he had completely forgotten how he found the bathroom, and where the bathroom was in conjunction to his dressing room. he was drinking water as he frantically ran around—receiving all kinds of odd stares from stylists and idols, but he didn't care. thinking he may have found his way, he turned the corner sharply only to bump into you. his water bottle completely tipped over; spilling all over your shirt and pants.

God had to be on his side, right? i mean, what are the chances that the first time he’s seen you in awhile due to his hectic schedule, a snowstorm says … surprise!

what are the chances of this being the one time sunwoo didn’t go to practice, meaning no one was in this dorm except you and him. the members were currently stuck at cre.ker, and he could tell they were not happy about it the way the his phone has been vibrating aggressively, non-stop since you got here.

“thank you.” you are still standing near the window, and sunwoo can’t help but let out a chuckle.

“you know you can sit right? why are you acting like this is our first time meeting? we’re best friends, big head.”

your infectious laugh begins to fill the dorm, so much so that for a second sunwoo’s forgets that it’s only the two of you in here. he can’t help but smirk at you. inside, he was smiling, but he could never do that for you. if he looked at you with the power of what he felt for you, his secret would be blown.

“sunwoo.” you’re snapping in his direction repeatedly, and now he’s embarrassed. he was always in a daze when you were around.

“you were not calling me.” he defends quickly.

“i absolutely was, big head.” you mock as you plop down on the couch, swinging both your legs over and closing your eyes. “but I’m not surprised. you never listen to me.”

you loved to offend him. “i always listen to you.” he confesses. there had to be some type of poison in the snow. his usual tough exterior was softening and you had only been here for thirty minutes. yes, your gorgeous features were enough to make any man or woman drop at first sight, but sunwoo had trained himself well. his number was rule was to never show you too much emotion—well, at the least not the kind that would lead you to believe he was in love with you.

“you tired?” he questions from his position on the floor. his legs are crossed as he holds his weight in the palm of his hands.

“more like over it.” you sigh, “but I came over here to see you. I’ve missed you. we’ve both been so busy, but i still feel like the worse friend ever.”

“you’re the farthest from a bad friend. why would you even say that?”

“what type of best friend ghosts her own?”

although you couldn’t help your coping mechanism, that didn’t mean you didn’t feel horrible about it. especially with sunwoo considering he was your ride or die. he deserved better from you.

“we all have bad days y/n. shit, bad weeks, bad months. as your best friend,” sunwoo rises off the floor to rest beside you on the cozy couch. he could see in the way you loss focus on the conversation that you were reminiscing on false memories. “it’s my job to understand you, and know that you don’t hate me or anything when you go quiet sometimes. i know that’s just how y/n is.” he hits your knee affectionately.

he looks up at you now, even though it makes him feel nauseous. you feel even worse. you hated making eye contact with others, especially him. you can’t speak. his sultry eyes have always had the ability to put you in a trance. you’re trying to find the words to respond to him, but it’s like you can’t move.

the way you always get lost in his eyes would make any one else brag, but sunwoo never allowed his ego to be too inflated by it because he knew it had nothing to do with you sharing his feelings.

“how many times have I sucked as a friend? hm?” he speaks once more.

“never.” you gasp in offense. “can you be a meany sometimes? absolutely. but sunwoo,” you grab his already sweaty hand, and he can’t help but feel itchy all over. this was another quirk of yours—your affectionate nature. he knew he would never be able to adjust to it, though. “you are always there for me. all those nights I was calling you to rant about chris…I know you were so damn tired of my ass, but you answered every-time. you can’t say the same about me.”

he was so happy listening to you talk before you mentioned your dickhead of an ex boyfriend.

he never liked bangchan. you and sunwoo had both agreed a long time ago that he had the ability to read people, and he usually wasn’t wrong, but because he loved you so much he wanted to be wrong about the guy. you looked at him with those doe googly eyes of yours. all you did was text him, stay on the phone all night with him, and all the other stuff that sunwoo wished you did with him instead.

he genuinely thought he was going mad, but he couldn’t shake the feeling. even the members thought he was crazy.

“tell me he doesn’t throw you off.”

“listen, I don’t know the guy, sunwoo.” kevin sang politely. “he seems like he could go 50/50. he’s either the best person in the world, or the worst.”

“kevin!” sunwoo yells, stopping him and jacob in their tracks.

“sunwoo!” they yell back in unison.

“50/50? this is y/n we’re talking about right now. like, our y/n? the one near and dear to our hearts? the—

“one you’re in love with?” jacob interrupts with a smirk, not able to harbor even the tiniest bit of irritation towards his member in this moment.

sunwoo is the one haulting now. “what?”

well, they were right. kind of. he came to realize his deep angst towards you and your australian lover was partly due to the fact that he was jealous and in love with you, but he still was completely right about bangchan. he was every distasteful thing sunwoo knew him to be. and he had completely shattered your heart. you—his angel’s heart.

“you aren’t talking to him again, are you?” sunwoo whispers. his right leg begins to tap in anticipation. he loves you to pieces, but you had this weird habit of giving some of the worst people second chances.

“of course not.” you laugh out loud.

phew.

“after cheating on me, and barely being remorseful, fuck him.” you raise a middle finger in the air for good measure.

“i’m just sorry you had to go through that. you didn’t deserve it. you didn’t deserve any of it. the inconsistent behavior, the ghosting and coming back, him fucking on girls that could never even compare to you. he never deserved you.”

sunwoo wants to say more. he wants to go on and on about how lame he is. but he knows you, and he knows that if you want to talk about it you will. plus, he was out of your life now. sunwoo wasn’t going to let any of his energy back in.

your heart feels comforted, yet sore from sunwoo’s caring words. he always gassed you up, on your good days and bad. if someone was going to remind you of your worth, you could count on him. but even his kind words couldn’t make you feel better about your sometimes terrible taste in lovers.

“thank you.” you mutter, breaking eye contact with him finally. “you know, the same can be said about you and yoona.”

oh, yoona. just like sunwoo never liked bangchan, you never liked her. probably because she made it clear she didn’t like you, but everyone always tried to convince you that you were just upset that you had finally been replaced. you never understood the jabs, because you and sunwoo had never dated. he never has had feelings for you.

how do you know that? was always the question. and you’d always have the same answer.

“because when sunwoo wants a girl, he gets her.

was sunwoo really good to you? yes. was he always there when you needed him? of course. but what was a true bestfriend if they did not have these characteristics? you were so thankful to sunwoo, because he’s the closest thing you’ve ever had to knowing what love should feel like. the sweet words, feeling genuinely encouraged no matter what you are about to face, the little gifts that reminded him of you.

“yoona,” he chuckles, reminiscing on how genuinely insane she was. he liked it though. maybe because his down right shameful attempts to show you how he felt about you never gained him anything, so when she was so crazy in love with him, it felt rewarding. you hated her though. shit, he did too…kind of? it was toxic as fuck.

sunwoo has a history of toxic relationships. you always tell him he deserves better. he always wanted to say you were the only better he would accept. that whether a girl was sane or insane, the toxicity would never end because he would be in a relationship while in love with another person. he wanted to emphasize the fact that it wouldn’t be fair to his lover because it could be the day of his wedding day—if you ever even uttered something along the lines of “I want to be with you”, he would run away with you without thinking twice.

but instead he always settled for a plain “mhm.”

“you remember when I was busy practicing for kingdom?” he begins, barely being able to hold in his contagious laughter.

your eyes go to the back of your head immediately as you recall the story he was about to tell. you also realize that you are still holding his hand, so you swiftly let go as you try to get comfortable on the couch. now your palms are sweating. sunwoo has the softest hands in the world. the anxiety you did not realize you had been harboring in your belly has dissolved.

sunwoo’s heart stings when you pull away, but he’s used to the feeling. “don’t roll your eyes at me.” he teases somberly. “a wise woman once told me that you have to laugh through the pain.”

“finish your story.” you roll your eyes again, but this time with that beautiful smile of yours fighting to hide.

he laughs a couple more times before finishing. “and she went through the building asking every single person, even the trainee’s where I was. so fucking embarrassing.” he face plants. maybe he can laugh so hard because she was long gone. or maybe he needed help. regardless, the story was worth telling again because even you are laughing now.

“cheers.” you announce, faking as if you have a shot glass in your hand.

“cheers, but for what?” sunwoo questions.

“to us both being best friends, and having the worst taste in lovers.”

“less talk about them, and more talk about you.”

“it shouldn’t be just about me. i mean, I am in your home.” you sing.

“well i don’t want to talk about just me.”

“so let’s talk about us.” you say, not even realizing what those words did to sunwoo. he was doing so damn good. you were attempting to hypnotize him with those beautiful features of yours. your plump lips, your beautiful melanated skin, your pretty brown eyes, your enchanting smile, and your beautiful braids that had recently got redone.

“I like your hair.” he whispers. fuck it. if you two were stuck in here all night together, he was bound to fall in love with you all over again anyways.

“do I look good, mr. armstrong?” you quote, throwing your braids over your shoulders with all the confidence in the world resting on your finger tips.

he wants to tell you that you are the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen, but once again he refrains and settles for a sly smirk instead.

“oh-“ you sit up promptly, inching your face closer to his, “I asked you a question.” you tease.

he hates how much he loves you. he hates how nervous you make him.

now there’s a silence. it’s peaceful, yet so many things can be heard. even through the storm there are cars on the road trying to get to their destination—honking and swerving along the way. he can hear the heat blowing throughout the dorm. sunwoo can also hear you breathing. he can tell you are relaxed, and yes, you are still so close to his face.

“i’m not moving away until you say yes.” you breathe right on his earlobe.

“then I guess you’ll be sitting right here all day.”

he could barely get that out without choking.

you begin to nod your head before speaking, “okay…I see how it’s gonna be tonight. you’re being tough on me, even though I drove all the way over here just to see you—keep in mind that time you spilled water all over my outfit at music bank.”

he’s smiling now. he’s fucking smiling because like he mentioned before, this was his favorite story to tell.

“it was an accident.”

“then why do you look like you’re about to bust out laughing, sunwoo.” you punch his arm lightly, like a child, and he breaks.

sunwoo always said he loves your laugh, but his was even more infectious. maybe it was because seeing him genuinely find something funny was a rare sight, or maybe…you didn��t know what that other maybe was. you knew you would do anything to see him laugh though.

“oh my God.” is all he can get out, still trying to calm down from his laughing fit.

“it was never that funny.”

“then why are you laughing too?”

good point.

“sunwoo,” you speak when you can finally catch your breath, “how am I going to sleep here? i have no bonnet, no night clothes, not a damn thing.”

“well, i may not be able to fix all of that, but I do have clothes. come on.” he gets up from the couch, placing a hand out for you to join him. in reality he just wanted an excuse to hold your hand again. it always calmed his anxiety down.

you don’t hesitate to grab it before allowing him to lead you to his room. this wasn’t your first time in here. back before you started getting booked for more make up gigs, you and sunwoo would hide from the world here quite often. you always asked him did the other members hate you.

“of course not. no one could ever hate you. it’s like, scientifically impossible.” he would always say.

sunwoo directs you to sit on his bed as he squats down to get to his drawer.

there it is again. the peaceful silence. for sunwoo, this was something that could never go unnoticed. he just wished there was a way he could get the balls to confess to you, and that although you didn’t like him now, that you would be open to letting him show you what real love feels like. he wasn’t always the most confident even though he pretended to be, but there was always a small part of him that wished you just give him a chance.

you were literally his peace. how could he ever be with someone else when they could never make him feel like this?

sunwoo grabs one of his graphic tee’s and some basketball shorts. he would’ve gave you some sweatpants, but you hated sleeping in pants especially in a warm environment.

“thank you baby boo.” you blow him a kiss before getting up to go to the bathroom to change. it doesn’t take long for you to switch clothes, and you can’t help but chuckle as you observe the messy bathroom you were in. boys.

there have been plenty of times where you sported sunwoo’s hoodies and jackets, but his entire wardrobe was a first. you walk out, all of a sudden feeling a wave of embarrassment run through you.

why were you so cute? you’re waddling back to him, his clothes doing their best to fit your body.

“cute.” sunwoo mutters. while you were in the bathroom, he was trying to figure out a way to turn his pillow case into a scarf for you. he had no idea how any of this worked, but he knew silk was important for your hair. he also knew you were gonna start crying soon when you had to mess up your freshly done hair on top of being stuck in here with him.

“thank you.” you mutter back, but you turn around as if you forgot something in the living room. you had to have ran the way you reappeared so quickly, this time with a bottle of wine in your hand.

“where did you get that from?” he scoffs. “alcoholic.”

“i prefer the term, extremely stressed.”

sunwoo attempts to stand, “let me get us some glasses or something.” but your hand sharply grabs his wrist to hault him.

“sit down. are we not best friends? we’re just gonna share it.”

this was so embarrassing. this was the closest to kissing you he would ever know, hm?

before he can blink the bottle is open and you’re downing it like you hadn’t had liquid in your body for 48 hours — nothing unusual from you. he takes the bottle from you after you chug it and does the same. he had never had this wine before, but it was good as hell. it was sweet, but citrus at the same time—wait.

“this is going to sound so weird,” he begins, “but why does this wine taste how you smell?” he chuckles.

“you’re not already drunk are you, lightweight?” you’re smiling at him again. you were always fucking smiling at him.

the night goes on, the two of you drinking more and more of the bottle until it’s empty, simply a weapon for an intruder. you had no intentions of doing this, but fuck it. you can’t lie, the room is spinning. you take a look at sunwoo who’s already looking at you.

every time you got drunk with each other and made eye contact like this, you felt it. you had always tried so damn hard to not feel like this, but how could you not? look at him.

he was so perfect. his skin always looked like it had been made love to by the sun. his teeth were perfect, his face was sculpted to perfection. he was fine as hell. you may have been able to push down everything else you felt for him, but that was something you could never deny.

but you knew him. and you had given up the dream of the two of you ever being a thing when you saw how he acted with girls he actually liked. he oozed with confidence, because just like you knew he was fine, he knew he was fine too.

did sunwoo show you how a woman should be treated? yes. but that’s what real men did. they became your examples so that you never have to be confused when you actually date. truth be told, all of his members had their moments where they did nice things for you.

now sunwoo is snapping in your face. he’s so damn drunk, and he knows it because he can’t stop giggling like a middle schooler who was sitting beside his crush for the first time.

his thoughts are running wild right now. there’s so many emotions bouncing from wall to wall inside of him that he genuinely feels like he can explode. your beauty has intensified by a thousand even though his vision was not as clear as it was before. his love for you, although he didn’t realize it was possible, has gotten even stronger in a mere thirty minutes. his length is twitching and his mouth, unbeknownst to him, was watering ever so slightly as he looks at you.

the two of you have been drunk together before, but it was always a gigantic group of people around, so what’s about to happen, could never happen.

it’s as if sunwoo no longer has control of his body. his left hand slowly creeps on your knee and he begins to rub it ever so gently. his eyes have yet to leave yours. he’s afraid he’ll blind you with how intense he’s glaring into you, but he can’t look away. he feels like he can see through you.

you can’t stop him. truthfully, him caressing your knee was nothing abnormal, but this time it feels…different. and the way he’s looking at you—you can’t help but squeeze your legs together. you don’t know what else to even do in this moment.

now sunwoo is moving closer to you. he expects you to start moving back, and it was at that moment he was going to excuse himself, but you don’t move. your breathing that was previously relaxed is now unsteady, and he swears he can hear how loud and hard your heart is beating.

“babygirl.”

he presses his plump lips to yours, and it’s as if time stops.

you know how they say when you have a near death experience, your life flashes before your eyes? well, that’s what the two of you were experiencing right now. this was the death of your friendship, now being reborn into something even deeper, although the two of you weren’t sure what that meant.

it’s like a projector is replaying every moment the two of you have ever had for the both of you to see. his lips are still connected to yours—your eyes seemingly wired shut as you’re forced to watch the movie that was your life.

sunwoo sees music bank, he sees himself frantically apologizing until he looks up, wondering what a beautiful girl like you was doing back here around all of these judgmental people. he sees the first time the two of you ever hung out. tbz had thrown a party at their dorm, and through text you had told him you didn’t have any friends and he was determined to change that. even so, the two of you decided to stay in sunwoo’s room, refusing to be rowdy like everybody else. you talked for hours about everything and nothing at the same time. that was the first time sunwoo realized he was falling in love with you.

you see every single time sunwoo has been there for you—no matter the time, place, or reason. how, even when you made the poorest of decisions, he rode for you. you see every kiss to the side of your head, every gift, every hug. most importantly, you unlock a feeling that you had been keeping hidden for an incredible long time; the fact that you wanted him to be more than a friend to you. you had no idea why you never allowed the feelings to be freed. maybe you were scared. you damn sure didn’t think you were good enough. but sunwoo is kissing you right now. and through his lips can you feel every single emotion he has been hiding from you as well.

it’s as if someone smacked sunwoo on the back of his neck. he pulls away quickly, his eyes widening in horror, but then his brain reminds him that he’s not sober, and it’s now or never.

“y/n,” he begins, cupping your fluffy cheeks that he loves so much. his tan skin always looked so pretty against your choco colored. “i’m—i’m so drunk right now.” he chuckles sadly, “like genuinely I’m such a fucking mess, but that kiss…that wasn’t because I’m drunk. well, it was, but these feelings are real. they’re so fucking real and I’m sorry that I’m doing this, but I’m so in love with you. and please don’t think that I realized this over the course of a night. for the past two years that I have known you have I been allowed the pleasure to grow in love with you. more and more everyday.”

sunwoo is crying now, which is something you had never seen him do. you place your hands in his wrists as they continue to hold your face—rubbing gentle circles into them.

has sunwoo really felt like this all along? have you really been wasting your time dating shitty people, when the man of your dreams has been sitting here for two years wanting to be with you all the same?

“sunwoo i—“

“just let me finish,” he wipes the tears that feel like they will never stop falling before continuing his drunken rant, “i know you don’t feel the same. you don’t have to tell me. and I know I probably ruined every bit of friendship we have built all this time, but I think I’m at my breaking point y/n. it’s so hard, holding all of this inside of me.”

you want to let him finish, but you can’t. you want to feel what he just made you feel by pressing his lips to yours again. everything happens so fast. your lips connect to his in a passionate romance, and he haults for a second before returning the fire you were putting on his lips. both of your clothes are coming off too quickly to remember where you guys are throwing them. you’re grinding on his length, moaning loudly at how big he is. sunwoo is whimpering and the tears are still flowing because, this can’t be real. you feel so fucking good on him as you grind your panty covered pussy on his dick.

as drunk as the both of you are, you’ll never forget this. the both of you fall back on the bed, and like a movie, the scene blurs out.

sunwoo makes love to you that night. he makes love to you over and over again. if there was anybody even remotely close to this dorm, they heard it, but he doesn’t care. he wanted everyone to hear him moaning out your name because you are so fucking beautiful and you make love to him so good. and he wanted them all to wallow at the fact that he was the one making you feel this damn good.

scream my name, babygirl. he remembers saying passionately to you in every position. the both of you hear it in your dreams too. you see it all in your dreams. his confession of how patiently he had been waiting to make love to you like this. how gorgeous your body was even with every mark you have on your body. your beautiful hyperpigmentation that you have always been insecure about.

how in love he is with you.

you begin to feel your five senses again; you can feel the sun, although she’s not warming you up any due to the cold weather that’s still prominent, your eyes are starting to gain vision again, and you stretch your entire body feeling pleased with all the cracks you hear. you feel sunwoo’s arms around you, which causes your heart to stop beating for a mere second before your body forces your entire body to start sweating.

he looks so at peace as he sleeps. his arms are wrapped tightly around your waist as his leg is placed right under your womanhood. yours is wrapped around his waist. you remove the cover ever so slightly to take a look at him in all his glory. he was so beautiful. his body was beautiful, and you no longer had to imagine what it would look like in a moment like this.

sunwoo begins to wake up too. it’s almost as if he’s still drunk with how at ease he currently feels. he can smell you before his eyes even open. the smell of love still lingers in the room. before opening his eyes, he can’t help but to pepper kisses all over your face, neck, and chest.

now his eyes are open and enchanted by yours like they always are, but this time it feels different. it is different. sunwoo doesn’t know what to expect. he doesn’t know if you’re going to say you regret it. he’s honestly petrified right now.

but then you do it—you smile. that heart warming smile that always made him melt is resting on your face, and he knows.

you don’t regret it at all.

“what do we do now?” you whisper so innocently. the sun is assisting with your natural glow. your voice is raspy, but it’s music to his ears. your bare body is really here for him to respect, worship, and love. it’s right here in front of him.

“i meant it, y/n. everything I said.” he presses his forehead to yours.

“i know. me too. even though I didn’t say much.” you chuckle, moving to put your head in his chest. you didn’t even care about the fact that you slept with no scarf last night. this moment overthrew that.

“i love you.” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he always does. “and I wanna show you that I’m all you need.”

“i love you too, sunwoo.” you beam, “and I want you to show me.”

this moment—it’s so sweet, and gentle. just like you. the entire room is at ease. birds are singing outside and sunwoo has no idea whether it’s still snowing outside or not.

a knock on the door interrupts the beautiful moment.

“so um, I let you guys have your moment and all because whoop whoop! so happy that the two of you realized you are madly in love with eachother, but can the two of you please put some clothes on so I can come in my room?” kevin sings behind the door.

fuck! the two of you both say in unison before laughing uncontrollably. you and sunwoo get out of bed to put your clothes back on, but still don’t take your eyes off eachother. you can’t.

all sunwoo could do now was thank the heavens, for they allowed this snow storm to blow the two of you in each-others arms.

authors note!! i really hope you guys loved this. sunwoo…that’s my man my man my man! im so in love with him I had to get it out haha. kisses love you all hope you’re having a good ass day. stay beautiful.

© 2022 moonlightdreamzz. no one has permission to steal my work in any way, shape, or form.

[nctzendreamz]

sigh, I feel horrible that I haven’t had the motivation to post here for so long. i feel like I’ve been gone for so long that my followers have also stopped using tumblr as well 🥲 how are you guys doing? what’s new for you guys?

[nctzendreamz]

guys why aren’t my posts showing up in the tags anymore? sad face.

[nctzendreamz]

TOXIC — Choi San (Part One)

Request: San has been with a toxic waste hazardous chemical of a gal for a while and you (having been best friends with San for a long time) take matters into your own hands after hes constantly refused to listen to your pleads to break up with her… I’ll leave the rest to you.

It was painful at this point - watching the two of them in action.

“San, I’m hungry.”

You could see it in his face—he was confused. It was the way his eyebrows scrunched together so quickly, but just as fast washed away before she could catch him. Considering you were all at a house party, where food surrounded the place, this should be an easy problem to solve, right?

“Okay. There’s some more chicken—

“Did I say that’s what I wanted?”

Ah, there she is. Such a ray of sunshine. This is the part where San, although he knows he didn’t do anything wrong, begins to feel guilty. His doe eyes start to cower to the floor trying to scheme up a plan to prove himself to his love. He doesn’t know what she wants, but he knows he needs to be careful with his words… or else.

Keep reading

[nctzendreamz]

Dating Kim Jungwoo ♡

The two of you are inseparable.

You are 100% that couple that are attached at the hip.

Even if Jungwoo looks like he’s by himself, you’re coming around the corner.

And vice versa.

Jungwoo man...he loves you so dearly.

And you can feel every ounce of it. He’s so good at showing you with his words and actions.

For example, every Friday he sends flowers to your job.

You would always joke with him, explaining that while you do enjoy this tradition, it has to be costing him time and money.

“Do you not think you’re worth it, hm?”

“Well I didn’t say that...I just...”

“You just?”

And now he’s looking at you with those eyes. You know, the eyes that can literally drop you to your knees in less than a second?

“I’m worth you.” You explain, “But I mean what I say.”

“I’ll buy you a rose for everyday if you let me. I love you and there’s no running from it. Periodt.”

Yes, he uses your slang too often.

If you say anything—and I mean ANYTHING, his response is always the same.

“Period pooh.”

And you literally die of laughter every damn time.

Also that couple that is having a whole throw down in the corner at parties.

He lives for random twerk sessions in the kitchen.

Jungwoo has rhythm, so don’t even try to accuse him of not being able to handle you.

Because he will prove you wrong.

:)

He depends on you a lot.

Similar to Mark, you are his #1. When he has a problem, he goes to you. He doesn’t even think about anyone else.

Is all over you whether you like it or not.

Kisses and hugs literally can make him so happy.

He always feels like the two of you fit together so well, and also similar to Mark your skin color wouldn’t cross his mind like others.

If anybody tries to disrespect you he will deadass pop them in the mouth like he's their fucking father.

He’s always so sweet and nice, but when it comes to you, he doesn’t play at all.

Not possessive of you at all. Of course he always keeps secret eyes on you, but he’s not at all that guy that tries to control what you do.

He actually enjoys seeing you leave the house in clothes that compliment all your beauty.

And he thinks it’s hilarious how other guys believe they can take you from him.

Such jokesters.

Speaking of jokesters, the two of you who are already extremely goofy, will be intensified by 1000.

Sometimes the members hate when the two of you come over because they can’t get on Jungwoo like normal.

So like, for example, Haechan will try to make a sly comment about Jungwoo’s outfit choice for today, but as soon as he sees you also in the living room he will wish he kept that comment to himself.

“Boy I’m bout to cook you!” Jungwoo squeals, and the two of you will just go back and forth exposing him. All jokes and love of course.

You're not safe either, he'll just go lighter on you.

Yes, your forehead is always going to be the butt of the joke. That's just how this works.

Loves hearing you say "I love you."

It's his main way of knowing if he's still loved or not, so don't you dare not utter that sentence unless you want trouble.

Swears everyone who has anything negative to say about you is a "bum hater", another saying you taught him.

Jungwoo loves the fun times the two of you have, but he will also love the serious moments.

Appreciates that you don't force him to be silly when he doesn't want to be.

Loves the days where you two just cuddle and do your own thing; you scrolling through TikTok while he does the same, or you sleeping while he catches up on his favorite shows. The two of you will barely talk, but so many things will be said at the same time.

Please cook for my baby he loves your food so much no matter if it's fine cuisine or not.

Wants to be there for you in those moments where the racial injustice in the world is too much to think about. Those days where you just cry because nothing is fair with the skin color you have.

"You are an angel. I know people try so hard to hold you down, but you're my go-getter. You are a fucking queen baby. What do I always tell you? Show them that no matter what they do or say, they'll never hold you down."

He doesn't even have to try to be romantic. Every thing he says came straight out of teen flick.

Will never lack in telling you how much you mean to him. Ever.

Always finds a different, yet beautiful way to remind you that he loves your melanin.

"Is that my baby, looking like a sexy tear straight out of God's sun?"

All in all, you and Jungwoo have that relationship that everyone wants. It all is just way too perfect. Even in the worst of it is it still so much love between you two and he will kill someone before he lets them hurt you. You will forever be his world and his bestfriend.

[nctzendreamz]

Love, Doyoung.

[nctzendreamz]

[nctzendreamz]

[nctzendreamz]

how has everyone’s day been?

[nctzendreamz]

BTS Love Life Tarot Reading: July 2021 ☆

Disclaimer!!! this is all allegedly for entertainment purposes only. i am only saying what the cards are saying to me. no one can know for sure if this is 100%.

Feel free to send me any requests about any group or idol!

Jin - King of Cups + Religious Factors:

It seems to me that Jin is currently single, but ready to mingle. The “King of Cups”, represents a very emotionally mature male who is also very compassionate and caring. Jin may not be in a relationship in this moment, but he definitely is ready for one. He may be even going on dates or talking to people he’s interested in, trying to weed them out based on what he wants. What he’s looking for is someone who is aligned just like him. Someone who has the same spiritual/moral values he was raised with. When he find that person, he will 100% give them his all as he is completely prepared for love right now. Someone is about to get very lucky.

Yoongi - Wheel of Fortune + Past Life Relationship :

Whatever he has going on, he’s extremely satisfied and the relationship is also in a really good place. This may be a fairly new situation. He is in his good luck phase of love whether it be just a companion he’s found or someone he’s actually in a relationship with. This is someone Yoongi has known in past lives. They give him that sense of safety that you feel when you’ve known someone for years. I see a lot of laughs and good memories being made. I see someone he feels makes him better. This relationship may not stay this way forever, since the Wheel of Fortune is a card of change and can go from good to bad in a split second, but for now, he’s in the positive aspect of it. A very fun and light hearted relationship. Friends but lovers at the same time.

Hoseok - The Hierophant + Wedding + Heart to Heart Conversations:

Immediately when I saw this come out for him, I thought conformity and a relationship that is “playing it safe” or that he’s in because others think the person is good for him, not necessarily because of how he feels about them. Then, in my romance deck “Wedding” and “Heart to Heart Conversations” came out, which unfortunately confirms that Hoseok may or may not be involved in an arranged relationship where he is being pushed to marry this person, even though that’s not what he wants to do. It could be a relationship with a family friend, or just someone he was introduced to, but the people around him are way more satisfied with this relationship then he is. It seems to me that he wants to sit down with this person and see what their real feelings for eachother are before they’re coherced into walking down the aisle with each other just for the sake of what will make others look/feel good, or what seems like “the best option”. The Hierophant is all about keeping tradition and having certain beliefs. Seems to me like Hoseok would rather step out of his comfort zone in love a little, but is scared.

Namjoon - Eight of Pentacles Reversed + Flirt:

100% single, and not really looking for anything serious. Namjoon feels that a relationship isn’t it his best interest right now from a creative standpoint. He has a lot of ideas that he wants to turn into something tangible, and he knows that if he adds a significant other into that he won’t get anything done. He’s content with occasionally flirting with people and being entertained, but he doesn’t seem to want an actual relationship right now.

Jimin - Four of Cups reversed + Free Yourself:

Jimin is also 100% uninterested in romantic relationships right now, but not because of work. There is someone from Jimin’s past that has a strong hold on him, and he cannot let go of them enough to think about another. The Four of Cups reversed can mean finally getting out of your funk, but it can also mean extensive negativity and also being dealing with depression. I don’t know who this ex is, but the cards are trying to tell Jimin to free himself from the grip they have and go live his life. Not exactly sure how he will do this, but he needs to if he wants a shot at being happy. This could be a toxic person he’s still involved with, or a toxic someone who left him who he still wants to be with. It also could just be an ex it didn’t work out with, but my intuition is telling me that there’s some toxicity involved in his situation. Someone who plays with his emotions.

Taehyung - The Tower + Forgiving and Learning:

The Tower is always a sign of complete chaos, destruction, disaster, and sudden change. It seems that Taehyung recently went though or is currently going through a really tough break up that has completely rocked his world. This person didn’t even necessarily have to be his girlfriend/boyfriend, but he was very romantically involved with this person and loved them. The relationship falling apart like this can be a sign that it wasn’t that stable to begin with, but only he would know that. Now, he’s just trying to focus on what he can learn from the situation, and as the card says “As you release and heal the past, you experience more love in your present moments.” I think he will be okay and obviously he will find another, or maybe even reconcile with this person. He just needs to take the appropriate time to heal from this tower finally being set aflame and begin to rebuild a more stable tower when he’s ready.

Jungkook - Knight of Swords Reversed + Reconciliation:

Jungkook is not really behaving like his best self right now, and seems to be acting out in a bad way. I’m not sure if it’s because of romance or something personal going on that’s triggering him. He’s not in a relationship from what the cards say, but he may be getting re-involved with an old flame very soon. The Knight of Swords reversed is usually a very impulsive, aggressive, rude, and argumentative person/partner, I’m not sure if this person from his past is bringing this out/will make it worse, or if this person is being sent to calm him down and humble him because they have heard about the energy he’s been giving off to others recently. This could even be a person he keeps getting back with even though he knows it’s a toxic situation, which in return is making him project. Regardless, what he needs is someone to bring him back to earth and encourage him to be more emotionally available and open to conversation. Hopefully this returning flame will help him, not hurt him. Love you JK.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far! Once again, remember that none of this is 100%, and this is all allegedly for entertainment purposes!! Feel free to ask me to elaborate more on any of this or separate readings. <3

[nctzendreamz]

i miss you guys so much how are you doing? pls talk to me 🤍

[nctzendreamz]

Could you do one on Jaehyun??? ❤

coming right up 😘