ndasmupeang - Tumblr blog

[ndasmupeang]

Xendit

22th of january 2024 - it just happened. 25% of us got laid off. It was the second round (1st one was 2021)

This was actually the first time from a long time that i encountered unemployment hehehe. What did i feel? relieved. What did i plan? none. Did i still want to play around startups? none sure. maybe yes. they pay well. Do i need those kind of salary? yes and no. to be bluntly honest i wanted to get out from IT area (yeeeeee FnB i want i want!) These time around i met some random people, from soccer, pubs, apps. And yes i was working out alot (hit my -4kg in 2 months lol) I couldnt say if it was stress-ness or i was just succeeded :) But anyway, i feel "lighter" now hehe. Oh i met this random guy also. this guy talk shits alot. "lets drink" "lets sing" "lets meet" "lets share this that" fuck you dude (lol fcking intermezzo) By today (its been 2 months), finally i changed my linked status to open-to-work. Kinda feel empty not doing work-related-day-to-day stuff for quite some times. Wish me luck boisss girlsss <3

[ndasmupeang]

[ndasmupeang]

Life

Just wait. Once i realize that i can't control the things outside of my control. And i can only control how i respond to those things, i'll be back!

[ndasmupeang]

I am me

If i have to describe what kind of person i am, me. Unconfident and confident at the same time. Ugly but beautiful. Total evil and super kind. Like being controlled and love controlling things. Love being alone but don’t wanna left alone. Super lazy but ... no but.

[ndasmupeang]

Getting Bored

Of my most favorite game.

Of my favorite sports.

Of my job.

Of me.

[ndasmupeang]

[ndasmupeang]

2019

Have you ever feel like everyone you used to be so close with, slowly dissapear. And you got no power even to tell them that you ve missed them so bad, because you are very happy and sad at the same time, like .. Im happy ( i swear to God, i am ) they have someone or something important they looked for, more than my friendship-feel-ness, but, i miss them.

Selamat Natal.

[ndasmupeang]

Once again i declined 50% coz i think they are no better

Evan

[ndasmupeang]

question

what would you feel if the last person you trash-talked die right a-day-away-after you do it ?

[ndasmupeang]

amen

teringatnya tahun baru new hair new job new bf kwkwwkkw

lucu kali ya

[ndasmupeang]

kalau aku ga ungkapkan semua

mati

[ndasmupeang]

kalau aku bertahan

mati

[ndasmupeang]

kalau aku menyerah

mati

[ndasmupeang]

And someday we’ll say  “We ve been there, a long long time ago”

[ndasmupeang]

Take it or leave it

Suatu hari ada seorang anak yang bercerita tentang masalahnya. Dia cerita tentang hidupnya, dia cerita apa yang dia lakukan, apa yang akan dia lakukan, rencana-rencananya. Seorang anak lain juga bercerita. Cerita yang mungkin belum pernah dia ceritakan kepada orang lain. Bukan belum pernah, mungkin cara dia menceritakan tidak pernah sesenang ini rasanya. Saat itu dia putuskan, dengan gegabah mungkin, tetap dengan perasaan nyaman dan senang, dia akan menceritakan segalanya pada satu orang saja, mungkin untuk seterusnya. ya, kepada seorang anak itu. Terjadi beberapa cerita dan pertemuan yang membuat mereka semakin yakin untuk melanjutkan ke perkenalan lain. Cinta, kasih, obrolan, masalah, maaf, perkenalan lebih lanjut, indah. Suatu waktu, mereka tetap bercerita, dengan suatu hal yang tabu. Ya, tabu. Karena tanpa batasan. Salah, karena menyangkut masa lalu. Sekarang ini salah satu dari mereka berpikir untuk enjoy-this-present, menyesali keingintahuannya sehingga cerita itu tersampaikan. Pahit. Sungguh pahit. Seorang dari mereka tak bisa menerima. Tangis. Kemarahan. Rindu. Penyesalan. Pelarian. Sementara dia sadar ini kesalahannya. Dia ingin menerima. Dia ingin memaafkan. Tapi tak bisa, atau belum bisa ? Siapa yang tau ? Dia ingin berhenti. Sebelum terlalu jauh dia ingin berhenti segera. Ya, kenikmatan yang mereka alami mungkin bisa tetap terjadi tanpa hubungan apapun. Pemikiran anak anak ? Ya semoga. Campur rindu ? Bisa jadi. Dia mungkin belum dewasa, dan tampaknya memang begitu. Dia mungkin butuh belajar banyak hal baru, dan tampaknya memang begitu adanya. Atau sudah ? 

[ndasmupeang]

A moment a love A dream aloud A kiss a cry Our rights Our wrongs #SweetDisposition #sisaliveig

[ndasmupeang]

"It maybe years until the day. My dreams will match up with my pay" #supershortcover #cover #feist #mushaboom #hearthesoundofwater #future