ndrmda

[ndrmda]

milk : joining the ooc bandwagon to say that unfortunately i am down with a bad cold, and it looks like it’s here to stay for a day more or two. that’s to say my writing will probably be affected but i will try my best to get to plot dms and some threads i owe people ( don’t kick me out just yet pls ). anyway, my dms are always open and so is my disc so feel free to bump me anytime as you please for checkmate things or if you just want to shout at me.

[ndrmda]

seunghan

( ... ) he pillows the confession with a polite smile and presses on, “and if you’ll have me, i can help you win.” he pauses, flits his gaze and tilts his chin towards yoojin as she begins to make her way to centre stage, “…over her.” seunghan brings his eyes back to jihye, his expression unchanging, “what do you say?”

“aren’t you, like, in love with hyungseo?” jihye scoffs. one can never know if it’s a jest or an observation verbalized. however, it is certain that she knows he doesn’t want her. kim seunghan is far from the shakespearean protagonist he pretends to be. she can tell how every syllable that comes out of his lips gives way to a keen nonchalance that puts this dull gathering to shame. but, he certainly wants something from her — that, she can also tell.

disenchanting as his manner of confessing is, there is a proposition that dangles with it, and it is at least compelling. chivalry is not dead; it’s just reinvented. jihye supposes it is true for the case of her pursuers from the king’s club, wherever their intentions may lie. that there seems to be no grander gesture to win her favor than helping her inherit the queen’s throne. sadly for seunghan, that alone will not eclipse the frontrunner.

“you do know that you’re not the only one who has promised me that,” she divulges as she straightens her back and points her nose towards wonbin’s placement. “what could you possibly give that he cannot? he’s the king.”

there’s the clincher. the challenge. men love wars. they live for it. they die for it. and sometimes they do it for women. as such, at the crux of the war menelaus and paris created is helen, a woman. while the genesis of it did not include her waging the war herself, jihye purposes to rewrite the proverbial tale. why? just to see the lengths these men would go for her.

men love wars. they kill for it.

“you need to think of a better proposal than that, seunghan. help isn’t a guarantee now, is it?” she simpers, stoking some more of that fire. as yoojin is about to perform the pas seul, it is undeniable that the tension in the room grows more palpable by the minute. “what do you say?” she’s not fully desperate. not yet. but grisly ends require grisly means, and if seunghan really wanted this, he might have to do more than speak in flowery tongues.

[ndrmda]

miyeon ♡

[ndrmda]

seunghan

( ... ) “jihye,” he calls, her name falling with the sigh. seunghan slides into the vacant seat to the left of her. there are two champagne glasses balanced in his hand, both freshly poured, and he slides one over to her. he clinks the glass, he takes a sip. “i take it you’ve received the lilies i delivered to your room this afternoon?” seunghan props his elbow on the edge of the table and rests his jaw on his fingers. “you look beautiful tonight,” he compliments behind the tempered smile.

the evening’s affairs have been nothing short of a quadrille. from her peripheral, jung yoojin, ever the poseur, adds more spring to her jeté. clearly, what makes up for her rival’s lack of sophistication is profound gall, and jihye knows underneath the affable veneer lies a ticking time bomb — a sinister plot for tonight’s grand finale. not very far off, jihye distinguishes her collaborator, her supposed partner in this dreary dance. wonbin is a gentleman, but too much of being is his bane, as is the inevitability that other men will eventually flock to disrupt remedy her solitude.

case in point: out of the blue, kim seunghan makes a glissade to her proximity — too close for comfort really — but he lands right on the spot where wonbin should be. if she were to play games, she would have to have recourse.

“seunghan,” jihye nods as he finds no difficulty occupying the empty seat next to her. she, on the other hand, finds no difficulty flitting her eyes across the room to see if wonbin is watching this performance transpire. she requires the audience, after all. “oh, you did?” she humors, returning her gaze to her fellow initiate. jihye surmises he’s wheedling, but flattery is the currency of a woman of her stature. and lilies? someone did his research well. “i was somewhere else.” she lets her fingers skim the stem momentarily, then takes a sip, but not too much, lest she lose her wits for the ritual ( as one did caution ).

kim seunghan is such a wildcard. out of the three, it is him she would least suspect to cultivate, let alone express, an interest in her. so it goes without saying that her curiosity is considered piqued. jihye plants her elbows in the same manner that he did and rests her chin too, atop entwined fingers, mirroring him. “what is it that you want, kim seunghan?” she flutters her eyelashes, patronizingly.

[ndrmda]

wonbin

( ... ) ‘i’d caution drinking too much just in case you need your wits about you and y’know it won’t hurt drawing up some alliances.’ he glances down at the rolex that gleams on his wrist. they say he’s carved out of something selfish but he’d like to think that somewhere in the engine of his destiny, there is room for another. ‘do you trust me?’ he asks suddenly, his expression softening once he meets her eyes.

consorting with han wonbin is a fairy tale at best. just like in every story, the handsome prince comes swooping in to the maiden’s rescue, donning her with his oath as her staunch vanguard, and the maiden, an orthodox victim to the clutches of peril, gives credence to every silver-laced utterance he bestows on her because he is her savior, as such is the way it is penned. how it has always been.

however, fairy tales are naught without their ultimate truth-teller: they are fairy tales.

at worst, consorting with him is a blind declaration of fealty, in which her apprehension lingers. jihye cannot ascertain where this sliver of distrust is coming from, not when there is no one she has ever been more unequivocal about marrying than wonbin. there he is in all his princely glory, leagues away in faculty and refinement from all others on her lengthy list of suitors. she would be damned not to hold him in high regard. even to a layperson, wonbin is as perfect as a man could get.

and still, that belies a total sense of trust, for he is a man at the end of the day, and a man could only want one thing from a woman. she’s sure as hell that it isn’t what ruminates inside her pretty little head.

jihye is cognizant of the workings, but be that as it may, what is reason to a little bit of thrill? there are certain implications when a man and a woman choose to tuck themselves away from the prying eyes of the collective. implications that might entice those who are craving to see their ruination. jihye’s couth is wise enough to forbid her from satisfying them, but musing on some possibilities is entertaining without a doubt. despite her notions about him running through her mind incessantly, wonbin is still quite the charmer, even at his sternest.

so when he asks her a question about trust, she tries her best to stifle a giggle. ironic how potent her thoughts could be to manifest them as the ultimatum of this rendezvous. jihye closes the gap between them with her index finger, playing along the buttoned placket of his shirt. as tense as he may seem, wonbin’s eyes are gentle. imploring. coyness tugs at the corners of her lips. “you tell me. are you going to save me if i drown?”

[ndrmda]

yunhee

( ... ) she  raised  her chin  with  her  shoulders  rolled  back  ;  as  her  doll-like  features  have  already  strained  into  a  vision  of  disinterest  and  a  languid  indifference  forming  in  her  eyes.  "what  do  you  want,  jihye?"  yunhee  asked  with  a  sort  of  venom  embedded  in  the  tone  of  her  voice,  her  arms  folded  across  her  breastbones.  "shouldn't  you  go  looking  for  your  new  little  friend?  you  seem  to  be  preferring  her  company  much  more  than  mine  these  days."

and yet she finds nothing inside yunhee’s stare but a frost so abysmal, she might as well peel herself off her dress and submit to complete succumbence. jihye is dumbstruck, among many things, as her grip on the other girl’s arm loosens, the kiss of frostbite threatening to sever her fingers if her hand forgets to keep a distance of as much as an inch. she takes it yunhee is not devoid of jealousy, as one is. after all, she can see it in the way the girl maintains herself attached to the hip of her boyfriend, and if one were to ask jihye, there is nothing truly more draconic than those who covet their own gold.

but never had she thought that yunhee’s jealousy would extend to her and her relationships too. “so all of this is about kaoru?” the desperation has somewhat transformed into surprise and indignation. “are you being for real?”

there is something to be said about their friendship — how it is forged in the crucible of girlhood, how one papercut can just undo it all. perhaps it has always been this fickle, this fragile, and jihye just failed to notice the tapestry was coming apart at the seams because she was too devoted to playing her own games. but what spurs her bafflement is how something as paltry as making new little friends could brew this amount of animosity between the two of them. ogawa kaoru is her friend, and so is yunhee. jihye cannot wrap her head around yunhee’s insinuations about how both truths are seemingly forbidden to coexist in peace. “what did she ever do to you? and—and why are you pinning it on me?”

[ndrmda]

kaleidoscope

wherein jihye attempts to find out why yunhee ( @hvartofglass ) is avoiding her, approx. an hour before the ritual begins

jung yoojin is determined, jihye will give her that, but however the bitch may like to appear as the touchstone of genius that she thinks she is, she falls short of striking that impression on jihye. instead, what appears to her is that yoojin’s desperation has metastasized to her swollen head, thus malignantly giving birth to this blatant display of idiocy. and what for? just to win a place in the club? it proves nothing but the fact that she is cut from the same pathetic cloth as her mentor.

needless to say, jung yoojin and song sunyoung are not the sole reason why there’s a growing pit inside her stomach. who’s seated two tables away is also why. it has been weeks since she noticed that yunhee has been avoiding her, and jihye finds it absolutely debilitating. perhaps it’s because she’s so accustomed to the regularity of attention that she cannot really handle being ignored deliberately, especially by someone she has held dear since they were little girls, like a sister. but it’s not just that. yunhee’s sudden shift of attitude towards her suggests she did something that warranted the ice-cold treatment. she just can’t place a finger on it.

jihye has no time to rack her brain, trying to remember which of her actions transgressed yunhee’s feelings, so as everyone, initiate and chessmaster alike, scrambles to huddle, scheme, and god knows what, she bolts upright and charges in the direction yunhee is heading before her silhouette dissolves into the chaos.

of course, there’s hyungseo, but jihye is well past her bandwidth to exchange pleasantries with him — she quickly grabbed yunhee’s arm before the couple could walk any further.

“let me borrow her for a sec.” it doesn’t sound like a request as much as it is an order, but hyungseo has probably gotten the message because one second he’s there, and the next, yunhee’s left alone with her. “look, i know now’s not really a good time, but can we talk? please?” her voice cracks. jihye supposes yoojin has imbued the air with that rotten desperation because as she searches for familiarity in the eyes of her friend, tears start to well up in hers.

[ndrmda]

i’m gonna preface this by saying my brain’s fuckin cooked, like on chronic levels, so in case you notice grammar errors and shit along the way, please know that it’s because of that ( and my lack of respect for the english language ). ANW, hello, loves! i’m milk ( 23, any ). i was supposed to be in the opening with yall but i scrapped my baby sejun ( bxf1 ) at the last minute bc i felt like i wouldn’t be able to do him justice soz ( idk jack shit about tennis ok ). but ig thank god he rip-ed bc then u wouldn’t meet my girlfailure gal JIHYE if he stayed, amirite? 😏 below the cut are well, stuff. tidbits. like!! because you like me ofc & my d*sc*rd is totally available upon req if any of you want to concoct delicious plans over there.

background & personality ( here for the in-depth, sorta decently written, not stroke inducing thing ) ( tw for domestic violence )

basics : 2019 queen ( kxe1 ), daughter of seoul’s commissioner general and a well-known lawyer, the people’s princess

inspired by a lot of things but i would say off the top of my head, she’s like if alicent hightower, sansa stark, cassie howard, amy dunne’s husband issues, shiv roy’s parental AND HUSBAND issues, charli xcx’s brat, & sofia coppola’s filmography are all rolled into one, tied with a miu miu ribbon

your typical rich girl blah blah blah princess syndrome…. oblivious to the plight of the poor….. lives off of daddy’s money…… YOU KNOW IT

she’s def smarter than she lets on but her interests don’t dabble in what most people deem intellectual, so she just lets them think what they want to think bc honestly who gaf

when a girlboss marries a pig of a man, you get one traumatized brat. that’s just the formula

a daughter typically looks up to her mother but not when her mother allows herself to be submitted to the violent whims of her husband. bonus points for irony if her mother is a womens rights lawyer

and don’t get her started with her father. she feels nothing for him but ONLY fear. worst man on earth i hope he d words

jihye is outwardly sweet. well yes, she’s self-absorbed at times and maybe bitchy but not always on purpose. overall she’s an angel. which is to say she’s used to getting whatever she wants because people simply like her yk who could say no to that gorgeous face? ( actively weaponized pretty privilege iktr )

but then that’s the problem because it’s so easy for her to get away with anything & everything dun dun dun dun

underneath the nice girl facade tho is her deep-seated resentment and an unquenchable thirst to be loved that stemmed from her abusive home, which she would carry up to her dysfunctional married life…… girlie just can’t catch a break i fear

really just wanted a happy ever after that doesn’t involve being treated like a subhuman

but oh well she should be thankful for the social security right? ( lights a cigarette )

fast forward to 2024….. ultimately, she is her mother’s child through and through. there is a quote by oscar wilde that pretty much sums up how jihye’s life came to be and it goes: “all women become their mothers. that is their tragedy.” ( sighs and smokes )

met her husband through a betrothal set up by her father and while at the start it was okay ig bc what choice did she have, it started going downhill as he got promoted in the office. he’s different from her father in some ways, but he’s still a shit husband, equally dismissive and emotionally abusive if not more ( smokes up to the filter )

she’s divorcing him now btw so yay good for her honestly ( and is currently setting her eyes on a prize she thinks she solely deserves 👀 )

plots & connections

while i’d like to say i just wanted to keep this intro short and sweet, i’m gonna be honest with you all and hold your hands as i confess that i have no plots planned whatsoever prior to this post, aside from what’s stated in the canon ( and some things plotted with the lovely muns who have approached me so far ). that said, my scatterbrained brain works when it’s stimulated so i’d rather we brainstorm than list the cliche things i can whip up by myself bc trust me, they’re terrible. also, i think that way, we can tailor-fit plots to our desires, yeah? i’m a mess & i’m just babbling at this point but everyone has been nothing but warm and welcoming, so i love yall! i cant wait to plot with each & everyone of you!!!

[ndrmda]

men will never understand the ribbon i wear around my neck so that my head doesn't fall off

[ndrmda]

JIMMYCHOO X MIYEON | DAZED KOREA