neapenning

[neapenning]

this 'being really tired after work' thing is really getting in the way of this 'pursuing my artistic hopes and dreams' thing has anyone else noticed this

[neapenning]

[neapenning]

when drawing requires you to draw

[neapenning]

The way i write phainon makes it very evident why i like sunday lmao

[neapenning]

You cant even keep a straight face anymore. Because of joke.

[neapenning]

Sage

[neapenning]

people are getting high as fuck on new stupid drug called "night drawing" its making them stay iup all the goddamn night drawing. and brother let me tell you. the drawings. not even good

[neapenning]

[neapenning]

I kept their dreams close to my hearts

[neapenning]

"I just wish I knew how Loid really felt about me."

Oh sweetie. Loid doesn't know how Loid really feels about you.

[neapenning]

Oh it's been 6 months for you, Yor?

It's been 6 YEARS for us!! 6 years we've waited for a chapter like this, let's go!

[neapenning]

I understand that so much of Phainon's struggle is from the toil- slowly losing his humanity bit by bit, but surely, the first handful of cycles were the most painful.

The first time Khaslana sees Cyrene perish from the black tide. He knows this has to happen, he knows she planned it his way (for him, because she trusts that he is the key that will protect everyone), but it still hurts. His hands feel like they're stained with her blood again., that it's him slicing through her in that field. And he can imagine the pain of his younger self, remembering when it happened to him, but now he doesn't even have his friend to share his pain with. And for a moment, this Phainon is just as alone as he is.

The first time he sees this Phainon meet with all the Chrysos Heirs, and it feels like some sick twisted mirror because it's just like how he remembers it and yet so, so different without Cyrene there. But that's when the loneliness sets in, when he realizes his friends will never see him the way that they see this Phainon. The way this Phainon's life is like watching a movie he lived through a funhouse mirror, where everything is just a little bit off, but knowing this is the way things have to be.

The first time he has to speak of the evils of the cycle, but not having enough answers to the questions. Experiencing doubts from people who used to trust him, seeing how they treat him as an outsider. Knowing that he should speak with more conviction for someone that is telling them they're all doomed and can do nothing to stop it, but knowing that even he has his doubts.

The first time he has to kill himself, knowing he will make the same choice every time.

The first time he has to point his blade at his dearest friend Mydei, the first time he hears the man call him "Deliverer" in a sarcastic tone. Khaslana knows he's being disrespectful by challenging the prince with a waver in his voice, but he can't help it. The first time he uses his own friend's only weakness against him, and seeing his eyes lose their fire by Khaslana's blade. Knowing he has to do it again. Did Mydei feel betrayed? Was the untested belief that this would save the world enough of a justification? How could he do this more than once, knowing it would hurt like this every time?

The first time he turns his blade against his sweetest friend Castorice, who is far more understanding than she should be. He tries to convince her to give up as best he can, but he remembers he always admired her resolve. She is far too kind to him, even as she begs him to turn around and lay down his sword. But he knows he cannot if Cyrene's promise is true (and it has to be true, he's already pulled the Coreflame of Strife from Mydei's limp body), so he continues until he wrests his sword from the dragon's belly.

The first time his gentlest friend Hyacine is at the other end of his sword, who is positive to the end. She is not a warrior, so she cries out in pain when the blade hits for the first time, and he remembers the voices of his childhood friends crying out from the mouths of the black tide monsters. It's the first time he cries in the presence of his opponent, and the first time he wonders if he can really do this (but he has to see it through, he's already felled Mydei and Castorice), and rips the Coreflame from her even as the sky grows dark.

The first time he has to stare into the terrified gaze of Cipher, or hear the agonized cry of Thanatos, or slowly rip Lady Tribos apart one version of her at a time.

Was he relieved for a moment when the cycle reset and saw everyone alive again? Or did he despair knowing he had to do it all again?

And the first time he realizes he takes another life and doesn't feel anything.

[neapenning]

Take two cuz im forgetful - Genuine question

please rb im so curious

[neapenning]

Do you guys think it was lonely up there?

[neapenning]

Another Dawn over Amphoreus

[neapenning]

33550336

[neapenning]

i've been saying this meme aloud to my friends and family for years now and i realized i never put it into text format so i'm subjecting you all to it.