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get the feeling, don't fight it

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MATT BERRY as Laszlo Cravensworth in WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2019- ) Episode 5.01 The Mall

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flat fuck friday

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one thing to miss about porn on tumblr is how ridiculous people acted like. there was this one catfish on here who would steal other people’s dick pics and pretend they were all him. he’d post circumcised one day and uncut the next like… sir.

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not a morning person not a night owl but a secret third thing

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i open and close tumblr like it's a fridge

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Updated Emergency Cleaning List!

As thanks for the warm (and, at times, hilarious) welcome back, here's an updated, significantly less wordy version of my Emergency Cleaning list. The original will be a decade old in a few months, if you can believe it!

You may need to modify or adjust the steps on this list based on your own situation — it's meant as a general guideline for those who need a little help pushing past the "Where the hell am I supposed to start?" feeling. This is also not meant to be a comprehensive "How to clean your house properly and maintain it forever" guide. It's for those moments when you have to quickly half-ass it because someone is going to be in your space soon and it's a disaster. If you can close some doors and cut some steps from the list, even better. Definitely do that.

(This is one of many checklists and downloadables available on my Patreon, if you're into that sort of thing.)

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me: it is what it is

my brain: lmao you're sooo gonna cry about it tonight

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by Xulia Vicente