needsanexorcist

[needsanexorcist]

popping in here to inform everyone, i have moved stretch to @eievuimultimuse so if you wish to interact with him, go there

[needsanexorcist]

can ghosts change their appearance without any trouble? does it strain yourself to shapeshift for long?

          “ EH, FOR SOME, it’s hellish an’ for others like me it comes as easy as breathin’. And, uh— yeah, you could say that it’s a bit of a pain in the ass t’ hold after a while. “ ( He’s tested this before just to test his limits, way, way back in the day — longest he’s maintained shape is just barely under an hour before he had to snap back out of exhaustion. )

[needsanexorcist]

any tips for a failing scarer? im totally flunking my scaremester and i need help from the best :(

          HE QUIRKS A brow at the rather random request, but he can’t help but give a slight smirk at it at the same time. Certainly wouldn’t be the first time some kid ghost came to him asking for tips — that’s just what happened when you were one of the best. And he was usually more than glad to oblige; partly because of a slight ego boost, if you will, but also ‘cause, hey, he felt for ‘em a li’l. He might’ve been the best scarer, but he certainly didn’t come out of the grave with a natural talent for it or nothin’.

          “ Ehhh, I might have a few tricks, yeah. “ He starts putting up his fingers as he lists them off. “ Gauge your audience — some folks’ll snap like a twig or faint like an old granny at a mere ‘boo’, but some fleshies get particularly annoyin’ and need the more of a build-up, else they’ll brush ya’ off. In that case, stick to small things, nothin’ in-your-face but nothin’ that they’ll gloss over, either. It’ll get their attention, and, eventually, it’ll make ‘em paranoid. Makes ‘em easier t’ scare that way. “

          “ If ya’ don’t got that sorta time — and with school, can’t blame ya’ if ya’ don’t — mirror tricks are always a simple but effective go-to. Most fleshies ain’t expectin’ their reflection t’ change or nothin’, so use that t’ your advantage. Even the most resilient fleshie’ll prob’ly crap themselves in shock if nothin’ else. Not a guarantee, of course, but it’s got a high percentage o’ workin’. Also, just t’ add on, never hurts t’ work on your shapeshiftin’. Takes a lot o’ work an’ I know it’s a pain in the ass when ya’ don’t naturally got a reflection, but just try t’ see how far you can distort your form, ‘cause the further ya’ can, the more frights you can pull. I’d daresay it’s my speciality, an’ look where it’s gotten me ! “

          He gives the anonymous struggling student a slap on the back. “ Welp, that’s ‘bout it in the advice department, kiddo. Keep my wise words o’ wisdom in mind, and who knows !  Maybe you’ll be half as good as me one day. Now go on — scram. “

[needsanexorcist]

                                                                      —

                                                            ||  I’ll fix it for us. ||

                                                                      —

[needsanexorcist]

          ( switching stretch’s irl FC to will.em daf.oe, expect the about banner + the one (1) hc post w/ an icon of his old irl FC to be changed at some point!! )

[needsanexorcist]

          ( switching stretch’s irl FC to will.em daf.oe, expect the about banner + the one (1) hc post w/ an icon of his old irl FC to be changed at some point!! )

[needsanexorcist]

———— STRETCH’S JOURNAL.

( ‘NO PEEKING OR I’LL PULVERIZE YOU AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT’ )

➤ Open anyway ?

ENTRY 1           Doc said to start with the basics so that’s what I’ll do even though this is really dumb and stupid and probably a way waste of time. My name is Stretch. My nickname is Stretch. My real name was Charlie or Chuck or maybe both but not like that matters cause if anyone called me that today I’d probably deck em cause that isn’t who I am. anymore. Anyway I know that Fatso and Stinkie are my brothers and I know that those aren’t THEIR real names but I can’t remember their names for the life of me. I know JT was my brother. I know JT’s the oldest and Fatso’s the youngest. I know Casper was my nephew. I know I was there a lot for him but I don’t actually know that it’s more like a——— instinct ?  I know he’s got a cousin but I figure he’s not a McFadden because I feel like I’d have remembered who he was otherwise. I know I lived in Boston. I don’t remember spending any time in Whipstaff but I must have because there’s a lot of my shit still here. I know that that fucking basta I know who killed me I’ll leave it at that. And I know that guy was supposed to be my friend. And I know that he had something to do wi███████. I know that I was 50 when I died and I know when my birthday is but I don’t know how I know cause I’ve never seen my own tombstone. I know I did a lot of bad shit too but I’m not sure about the exact details and probably for the best. Also know that I got a bad smoking habit cause I still do, I just don’t got lungs to destroy now. I think that’s about it for the basics but even if it ain’t I’m about done writing in thislike a teenager this was dumb why do I even bother I’m burning this next chance I get

ENTRY 2           Okay so I’m a fucking liar apparently whatever I remembered something kind of weird that makes no specific sense to me really. I vaguely remember getting my ass kicked right before I died so I always figured it just somehow fucked me up bad enough to carry onto the next life and that’s why my eye’s all messed up except. I remembered having a conversation with someone, someone who was icing my face cause I was all sorts of fucked up but I don’t know how or why although knowing myself it probably didn’t take much. I remember her saying something about wanting to kill m████ she was pissed off and I think it was on my behalf though I’m not sure why. I don’t recall much aside from that it’s all just kind of fuzz. This whole pulling shit to the surface business ain’t fucking working if every memories got holes in it. I don’t even remember what reminded me of this to be honest but hey that’s the story of my whole fucking afterlife really honestly I hardly ever think about my eye cause what’s the point but yeah anyway this is the last time this time I swear to fuck the fact that I didn’t keep my word the first time means N O T H I N G

ENTRY 3           I have one reoccurring recurring ?  memory every time I look at Casper’s baby photos and I never really thought much of it probably because I’m too busy going through it and downing brandy while I’m at it but it really is the same thing every time: I’m holding him. That’s it. That’s the memory. It’s just him and his bulbheaded self staring up at me with those big ol’ blue eyes. They’re his mother’s eyes, I know that. JT had blue eyes but hers were always brighter. I don’t even know why I remember it but it fucks me up every time. It feels like my only shred of proof that I was there for him. I don’t know I might be tipsy

ENTRY 4           I’ve come to accept this is just what I’m doing now but I’m telling you it’s still fucking stupid. Thought about how big the family used to be back in the day, though I don’t actually remember how much of it was genuinely our family or just friends of friends. Hard to tell when leading a lifestyle the way us boys were, you grow up calling some guy your Uncle Frankie or something and you find out he was just some dude who got out of prison and met your old man in the backalley of some bar (not speaking from experience, I’m just saying). Plus, you know how it is, with rich men and large homes. There were people going in and out of the place all the time. It’s a miracle we ever █████ Don’t know why I thought about this, I doubt I even remembered who the hell any of em were prior to dying

ENTRY 5           I’m so fucking pissed off I don’t know why I even do this to myself but fuck it, I still remember the night you told me you were leaving you absolute dipshit I still remember the time you told me you were taking Angie and heading off to Maine like a damn dog with its tail tucked between your legs and for what ?  Because we weren’t good enough for you ?  Because you were ‘better than all of this ?’ Angie sure but you ?  FUCK you. You left us. ALL OF US. And you left ME. AND Y██████ How fucking could you ?  I hate you so damn much I wish you were still alive so I could haunt your ass. I should’ve dropped you while carrying you up the stairs to your bed you asshole, I would’ve laughed. Then again I guess No, you couldn’t make it more than 15 years without me. It’s my fucking faul█████ot here I KNOW it wasn’t all bad I KNOW there was at least once it was h████ this can’t be all there was to us but trying to remember anything about you is like yanking out the teeth out of my own damn head, I’d rather just HATE you it’s so much easier yet it sucks all the same it doesn’t matter what I do. YOU ALWAYS WIN. I ALWAYS LOSE. That’s how it’s always been !

ENTRY 6           Brothers haven’t spoken to me much today, I think that’s on me. I kinda got pissy over breaking the glass in a frame for something that probably hasn’t seen the light of day in a century. Couldn’t tell you why I did, I just saw it busted and immediately lost my shit. It’s not even like this is out of the ordinary for us, we break shit all the time, it’s what we do. The frame wasn’t even holding anything all that fantastic it was just a It was a children’s drawing. Probably Casper’s. Probably of his mom. The frame’s worn in places, probably from being held too damn much. Admired. I don’t wanna get too much into it beyond that, my chest hurts. I need a drink.

ENTRY 7           You know I vaguely remember what Fatso and Stinkie look like but I can’t remember my own face. I guess they could probably say the same for me, doesn’t exactly help that trying to generate a reflection takes far too much effort to be worth it. I remember what JT looks like and I remember that we looked really, but that doesn’t really help much. I ain’t ever seen any pictures of us around here but then again I haven’t exactly bothered looking. I don’t think I’d recognize myself even if I saw a photo of my anyway. It’s kind of weird but in a way I don’t really view Charlie / Chuck / whoever the fuck as ME. That guy was a killjoy a stick in the mud way too uptight everything that I’m not. I think looking at him would be more like looking at an old painting more than looking in a mirror.

[needsanexorcist]

          “ I HOPE MY ex is dead. I hope my old friends who I out grown are dead. I hope everyone who has done me dirty has died. Anybody I hurt, I hope you’re dying. Forgiveness is dead. I’m ready to be blessed. “

[needsanexorcist]

chilldownyourspine​:

▶ The grin on his face was less wide, instead opting for something closer to a smirk at Stretch’s words. He could practically smell the uncertainty… The weakness. Just how he liked it! Still, he was no fool; Snatcher understood he was marveled for a reason, as are most people. He wasn’t here to make enemies… Just to have some fun. 

   “ Oh, my mistake, then! ” Snatcher said, leaning his face real close to his. “ Though, with that nickname, one has to wonder why you have it… If I pulled you from top to bottom reeeeeeeeeeal hard and as far as I can, would you break apart into two ectoplasmic pieces, or would you be long enough so that even I could skip rope with you? ”

  He leaned back, cackling, seemingly amused at his own odd humor. “ AHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Oh, wouldn’t that be something? Then again, maybe you’re the one who does the stretching. After all, they call me The Snatcher for a very on-the-nose reason, but I’m not here to make assumptions! ” 

   Finally, he decides to let Stretch have his personal space, leaning against the bar’s counter, paying no mind to the other ghosts looking at him in wariness (or, more boldly, veiled annoyance). “ Ah, I forgot how good it was to go out and have fun! I mean, the terrorizing and gatekeeping of your domain is nice and all, but the living aren’t so lively, you know. Just toooooo serious. ”

          HE FOUND HIMSELF leaning away slightly as Snatcher grew closer to his face, his forced smile wavering and eventually falling upon hearing that brutal ‘joke’ of his, trying hard not to wince at the rather vivid mental image that gave. Truthfully, he could probably stretch himself as far as he wanted ( shapeshifting was more or less his speciality, he daresay; it’d be terribly sad if he were limited in such a way ) — but that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t hurt a lot if he were pulled in the way this ghost described.

          Stretch promptly took this as a sign that he needed to ease up just a touch on the humbleness, lest he found himself being treated like a piece of taffy. He cleared his throat, straightening himself up even further, stating, “ Well, I am flexible. “ As though to prove his point, violet eyes flickered to the side for a moment, which was followed by an arm extending a fair distance just to casually yoink a drink from some ghost that wasn’t paying attention, retracting it to bring the glass close to his own lips. “ But, uh— the name’s unrelated t’ that, believe it or not. “ With that, he took a sip from the glass, not really caring whether it was his typical preferred choice of drink. ( Lord knows he could use the liquid courage anyway. )

          He gave a quirked brow at the other mentioning his name, though he was mid-drink and thus unable to question it before the spectre suddenly backed away from Stretch, earning a silent, relieved sigh through his nose. ( He decided against questioning the meaning behind the ghoul’s apparent nickname; a name like that possessed absolutely no good connotations, and he was sure that the less he knew, the better. ) He lowered his stolen glass to bark out a laugh in response to his comment about the living.

          “ Tell me about it. Fleshies just get too high-strung over everythin’, it’s exhausting t’ watch. “ He allowed his tail to relax a little — he was still incredibly wary of the larger ghost, but at least this was the sort of casual conversation he could keep up with without needing to pretend. “ Yeah, no, I try t’ get out for similar reasons. ‘S just good for me t’ get out just t’ try an’ stay loose. “ ( No, the irony in saying that was not lost on him. In fact, if he didn’t feel like he was starting to lean towards the guy’s good side, it might’ve even been a shot. Actually, knowing Stretch, it might still be. )

[needsanexorcist]

chilldownyourspine​:

❦ Deal Sealed. | @needsanexorcist​

   ▶ Snatcher couldn’t help his guffaw at the reaction he’d gotten once the other turned around, so painfully smug and yet chilling to those who got to hear, most likely contributed to the deep echo of his voice. Snatcher didn’t normally stick around other ghosts, preferred being on his lonesome and with those who actually had souls he could take, but on the occasion he would partake in just a little socialization. 

   “ Why, thank you! ” he spoke with an air of self-importance, his noodle-like limbs moving to place a hand on his own chest. “ Y’see, it doesn’t matter how cliché the scare is, what matters is the theatrics. Consider it a small tip from me to you. ” 

   Snatcher stopped looming over him and instead twisted around, his body closing in on Stretch’s personal space as he got more eye-level with the unfamiliar ghost. (Sheesh, you’d think some would start gettin’ taller, huh? Oh well.)

   “ I don’t come around here often, so I get it, must be preeeeeetty startling to see someone such as myself, huh? Figured while I was out on th’ town, I would take some time to get to know one of the people around here that’s been claimed to be a high class ghoul! ” his perpetual grin never ceased, only stretching more at his face and even past his eyes. “ What do they call you, now? Stretchy, was it? ”

          “ AHA, I’LL BE sure t’ keep that in mind, “ he replied in response to the other’s so-called ‘tip’, trying to keep the displeasure at the words out of his voice. If this were anyone else, he’d have probably told them how he didn’t need��any tips in his typical impertinent fashion ( after all, he was the best of the best !  Least, he’d been convinced of such until now ), but he got the feeling this was not the type of ghoul whose . . . wise words of wisdom should be taken lightly let alone rejected.

          He felt something recoil in his spectral form — a ghost’s equivalent of shivers going up one’s spine — as Snatcher decided to invade in his personal space, a feeling of discomfort rapidly sinking in. He was most certainly not a fan of being quite this close with this guy. ( And yes, he was aware that this was probably how many other felt when he did the same to them. Was this going to convince him to change his habits, though ?  Probably not. )

          Stretch attempted to keep his discomfort hidden, however, forcing a smile on his face, back remaining bent, tail curled up — overall appearing quite docile beneath the larger spectre. ( Which Stretch frankly found pathetic and humiliating, and he absolutely despised it. ) At the mention of him being a ‘high class ghoul’, he mentally cussed. ( This was always, always the problem with flexing your talent — it left you being highly sought after, usually by schmucks who could never hold a candle to ya’, but, of course, there was always that chance of someone who could actually give ya’ a run for your money showing up. And when that moment popped up, it always sucked. )

          He only allowed himself to straighten up a little as he responded, “ Well, I mean— I consider myself quite humble t’ really refer t’ myself as that, but, y’know, I’ve certainly had a lot o' folks call me such, so there must be some truth to it, I suppose, yeah. “ He tried to toe the line between feigning a certain level of modesty and maintaining his confidence in his status — simply because he wasn’t sure which approach was more appealing. On one hand, too modest and he’d be risking getting figuratively trampled over, more than likely. On the other, he keeps up his normally rather boastful demeanour, then suddenly the guy wipes the floor with him. ( Basically, he was trying to figure out which way would be the most painless while still keeping some level of dignity here. )

          “ Er — Stretch, “ he corrected, sounding a little on the curt side, before promptly correcting it with an uneasy chuckle, “ It’s just Stretch, actually. Common mistake, though. “

[needsanexorcist]

Character Development Questions: Hard Mode

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

What does your character like in other people?

What does your character dislike in other people?

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

How does your character behave around children?

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

How does your character behave around people they like?

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

[needsanexorcist]

"Boo!" - snatcher (chilldownyourspine)

@chilldownyourspine​

          STRETCH HAD HIS back turned when he heard the deep voice behind him shouting the classic ghost catchphrase. Sure, the spectre might’ve sat upright simply because he hadn’t even heard anyone come up behind him, but he’d hardly flinched. Why would he, when he was practically a master at haunting ?   He scoffed a little, an air of over confidence surrounding him as he jabbed a thumb behind him. “ Listen t’ this chump, “ he spoke derisively. “ Tryin’ t’ get a rise outta me with a cheap ‘boo’. Yeah, right, like heck that’d ever— “  

          As soon as he’d actually turned around to see Snatcher behind him, it felt like he got slammed by a shockwave, letting out a startled yelp and moving backwards. ( Not that it really did anything, putting that space between them; the guy was still huge compared to him — and considering Stretch was named for his height, that was sayin’ something. ) You know how humans just seem to know when they’re confronted with something that may actually be a threat to them ?  Well, take that feeling, and make it tenfold, and you’d come pretty close to what Stretch experienced in that moment. He immediately got the feeling that between the two of them, he wasn’t the scarier one.

          “ Ah . . . aha. “ He scrunches his tail up, making him seem even smaller. “ Heeey big fella, you, uh— ya’ startled me, I didn’t see ya’ there ‘til just now. “ There’s nervous laughter in his tone as he speaks, but everything else about him is silently begging for the other not to hurt him. “ Y’know, your, uh— your ‘boo’ ain’t none too bad, prob’ly one of the best I heard, actually— “

[needsanexorcist]

She's imperfect but she tries She is good but she lies She is hard on herself She is broken and won't ask for help She is messy but she's kind She is lonely most of the time She is all of this mixed up And baked in a beautiful pie

[needsanexorcist]

stop bullying him he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone

[needsanexorcist]

CASPER (1995) SENTENCE STARTERS

“ [name], it’s me, it’s [name] ! “

“ Aaaalright boys ! “ [smashes a glass] “ The night is young ! “

“ Any other takers ? “

“ Apologize later. “

“ Are you depressed ? Are you anxious ? Are you lonely ? “

“ Are you thinking what I’m thinking ? “

“ Come on, [name]. You need this more than I do. “

“ Dammit, [name], this won’t hurt a bit ! “

“ Did your father ever hurt you in any way ? “

“ Go hang, or chill, or kick it, or whatever you call it. “

“ He acted like I couldn’t even have it ! “

“ Hello. I’m a close personal friend. “

“ Hey, hold it. Hey, [name], you smell something ? “

“ Hey, who’s the girl ? “

“ He’s got his whole miserable life ahead of him. “

“ Hi ! I’m [name] ! “

“ I am not gonna forget this, you ungrateful, lousy little worm, you ! “

“ I begged and begged my dad to get me this [object]. “

“ I couldn’t stop, I was having so much fun. “

“ I don’t…I don’t really know what I’m doing. “

“ I gotta be in the picture, too, or no one will believe I was here. “

“ I guess we’ll have to take the long way. “

“ I hope no one saw that. “

“ I know it looks kind of funky and stuff on the outside and everything, but, I mean, I don’t know, inside it’s kind of cool. “

“ I love the smell of [item] in the morning ! “

“ I remember ! “

“ I think I need a doctor. “

“ I think they’re actually getting to be quite focused now. “

“ I thought we almost lost each other for a minute there. “

“ If there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, it’s always kick ‘em when they’re down. And baby, you’re six feet under ! “

“ If you’d have just forged the damn will… “

“ Is he a tr- …are you a transient ? “

“ Is that your dad ? “

“ Is that…bad ? “

“ It’s just such a lovely night, I thought we’d have fun just eating under the harvest moon. “

“ It’s your hour. “

“ I’m gonna drag you and every one of those damn dolphins into court ! “

“ I’m helping YOU, remember ? “

“ Kind of a slob, wasn’t he ? “

“ Let’s just say you know three crazy ghosts who kept their word. “

“ Listen, I have had a long and trying day. “

“ Man, they had cruel parents. “

“ Maybe we should get going. “

“ No wonder I miss you so much. “

“ No, no, no- sh- you shouldn’t do that- “

“ No, WE aren’t doing anything ! “

“ Not so fast, little man. “

“ NOT this one ! “

“ Now, that’s not generally allowed. “

“ Okay, okay, jeez. Calm down, lady. “

“ One minute, you’ll be a ghost; next, you’re back on your feet, free to come and go as you please ! “

“ People are gonna freak ! “

“ Piss off. “

“ Please don’t scream, I promise I won’t hurt you ! “

“ Put me down ! “

“ She’d never forget you. “

“ She’s deceased. “

“ Slow down, what’re you saying ? “

“ So, tell me - you have experience ? “

“ Take a hike. “

“ Think my ears just popped. “

“ Time for drastic measures. “

“ Uh oh. It’s them. “

“ Well ? How did it go ? “

“ We’ll just be repacking in two weeks anyway. “

“ What part don’t you understand ? “

“ What were you like when you were alive ? “

“ What’s your problem, he’s just cleaning the floor. “

“ Who do you think you, are defiling our domicile, huh !? “

“ You ain’t thinking about packing it in now, are you ? “

“ You can handle this ? “

“ You guys are disgusting obnoxious creeps ! “

“ You have a beautiful daughter, [name]. “

“ You know and I know that you really shouldn’t be here. “

“ You mean MY treasure ! “

“ You think I could wear it to the party tonight ? “

“ You’re kinda hurting my face. “

“ You’re so cold. “

“ You’re taking this WAY too personally. “

[needsanexorcist]

I may be a littleeeeeeeeeeeeee toxic but at least I'm loyal

[needsanexorcist]

what were your parents like?

Ask my muse questions about their relationship with another character

          THERE’S AN INTENSE pang deep in his spectral form that makes him nearly wince as soon as the question comes his way. ( Fuck, this one hurts. He doesn’t want to follow the memory down. It feels like too much already. He doesn’t want to remember either of them, quite frankly. But— ) He feels hints of old feelings bubbling their way to the surface, dragging up a few faint memories with them. ( He doesn’t have much choice — once a ghost’s memories are prompted, it’s hard to shove them back down. He’s been told that it hurts less if he lets them through. He still isn’t fully convinced, but he’s already slowly reeling them up before he can internally talk himself out of answering the question. )

          “ Uh, “ he hums with a rather uncharacteristic waver in his voice, giving away some of the uncertainty he feels. “ Ma was...good t’ us, I guess. I mean, I’m sure by today’s parentin’ standards, she wasn’t the best or anythin’, but I know she...cared. ‘Bout us. “ He finds himself absentmindedly brushing a hand just below his clouded eye, as if recalling some sort of feeling there. “ She drank a lot. Vented a lot t’ me ever since I was young, I remember that. “ ( ‘Oh, how I hate your father, Charlie — how I wish I could leave him, and take you with me !  We’d all be so much happier—’ Another wince; he doesn’t pursue that one further. ) “ I dunno, she was fuckin’ miserable — then she became a widow, an’ she was happy, but she was still such a mess. “ ( He doesn’t remember much after that. He gets the vague feeling he didn’t see much of her once her long marriage came to an abrupt end. ) He finds himself keeping down a lump in his throat at that last thought. ( Evidently, that one’s a sore spot. He leaves that one alone, too. )

          “ As for my old man— “ ( He recalls the image of a shadow — not even a man, but just a mere silhouette; piercing, judgemental eyes; a tone often filled with a terrible, painful indifference — a dismissiveness that always made it clear he wasn’t wanted. Demands for him to ‘be a man’; to take responsibility even despite Chuck shouldering so much of it already. Comparisons to his elder twin; an understanding that said twin was always the more favoured one, no matter how hard he tried to make his father proud. Took him years to see him, to even acknowledge his potential — and even then, it was reluctant, happening only because the golden child had decided he didn’t want to follow in the family’s footsteps. Never treated like he was flesh and blood by the old man; always treated like he was shit on the bottom of his shoe. A nuisance. A burden— )

          “ —he was a DICK, “ is all he says out loud about his father, spoken in a tired mutter. ( He’s squashed down those memories, beating them back with a figurative broom back to whatever filthy, grimy, awful mental closet they came from. He’s not ready to touch those ones, yet, evidently. )