neelaav-blog

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King had his men burn down our family grocery store yesterday because I dry snitched on him on national television. When he said he was going to make sure all of us pay, he meant my entire family. When he passed by us in that gray BMW today, our entire neighborhood snitched on him to the police to make sure he was arrested. We all broke the longstanding no snitching rules. This store has been my entire life and it breaks me to see it all burned down now. I used to come here and help after school, me and Daddy used to sit and talk on that bench outside, this is also where I met Khalil. We’re not giving up on this store though. We might have moved from Garden Heights, but that doesn’t mean we forgot where we came from. When things break and burn you rebuild. Mr. Lewis is giving us his barber shop next door also so we can extend our store. Even if it takes us a while, we will still come back stronger. This is just another a step that we are all taking towards rebuilding Garden Heights, and I am glad to be a part of it since it feels like in a way I am helping Khalil also. 

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The grand jury released their decision today, they decided not to indict 115 on the charges of killing Khalil. Now I'm mad 😡. Me Seven, DeVante, and Chris went down to Magnolia Avenue and participated in the riots. I want to scream, I want to punch something, I want to burn something 🤯🤬. I did everything the system said to do, I followed all the rules and yet Khalil still did not get justice. I went to the police, I went to the DA, I went to the grand jury, I even went on national television. I just can not compete with such a flawed system. The cops tried to throw tear gas at us, I picked that bomb up and threw it right back at them. I don't care if this goes on television. I don't care if my parents see this. They can not try to silence us anymore. This is not the ending I wanted for Khalil and I won't give up until I get the one he deserves. 

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A few weeks ago I lost a follower over one of my posts. It was my best friend Hailey. I posted pictures of the mutilated bodies of all the black people who were wrongfully killed. Hailey said that she did not want to see these pictures on her feed since they were disturbing and that these people deserved to die anyway since they were probably drug dealers. After weeks of being angry at myself, I am now angry at her. I decided to confront her and she stopped talking to me since I “accused her of being racist.” What people don’t understand is that sometimes you can be racist without even understanding what you’re doing. As much as she can try to avoid these pictures on her feed, it doesn’t change what happened. These people still wrongfully died and that too by people like her. This is a picture of Emmett Till, he was a 14-year-old boy who was killed on the basis of nothing but allegations that he was flirting with a white woman in a grocery store. Was this innocent 14-year-old boy a drug dealer? Even if people are drug dealers does it make their unlawful deaths any better? Most of them are only selling since they need the money to live not because they want to. We should be helping those people and instead, we hurt them. This Tumblr page started out to bring attention to Khalil but now I realize that it is bigger than just him. This is for every single minority that was a victim of police brutality and racism for nothing other than mislead assumptions that they were up to no good.

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I still remember listening to this song by Tupac in the car right before Khalil was shot. I used to make fun of him for listening to this old music and he always used to tell me that Tupac was still relevant. I didn’t realize until now that he was right along. Pac said the words THUG LIFE stood for “the hate u give little infants f*cks everybody.” He was right. When people treat black people, poor people, everyone at the bottom with disrespect based on the preconceived notions they have of them, that’s how they're raised. That child will grow up thinking they are no more than just a “thug.” If we want society to improve we have to begin with how we treat each other. I didn’t realize what Pac was saying all along until today when it looked me in the eye. I was at the store with Daddy when DeVante came in and was hiding from King’s men. He was in trouble for stealing 5 G’s from King, in other words, he was just as good as dead. Daddy took him in when Vante said that he wanted to quit working for King. It wasn’t his fault that he fell into this life. Just like Pac said it was all based on how he was brought up. At least Vante realized the right way out. Maybe if people didn't assume things Khalil would still be alive today. 

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Yesterday was the day I finally began to speak out. I am no longer scared. If 115 decided to kill Khalil with his gun then I can fight back too, but with a stronger weapon. My voice. I appeared on national television in an interview with Diane Peters as the anonymous witness. I was nervous to go on since it was going to be my first time speaking out as the witness, but I decided to face my fears for the greater good. It was what Khalil would have done for me. I got so many phone calls this morning and one of the callers was an anonymous millionaire who agreed to pay for my college tuition. My voice is finally being heard, I am finally starting to make a difference. 😤

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Williamson Starr and Garden Heights Starr, two completely different people. When I go to Williamson I do not use slang, I do not bring up where I came from, and I wear new kicks to school every day. Basically, I do not give anyone a reason to call me ghetto. My entire life I’ve been trying to avoid my two worlds from colliding and that made me lose my sense of identity. Daddy always says that everyone in Garden Heights is the real people, and everyone outside is fake. Does that make me fake too then? If I'm too scared to represent my community then how will I ever get justice for Khalil? Momma told us she got the job as Nurse Manager at Aunt Pam’s hospital, and since we have the money we can move out of Garden Heights to a safer neighborhood. Aren’t you supposed to stay when things get rough, and not run away from your problems? This feels like yet another way that I’m ignoring my roots. 

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The media is justifying Khalil’s death by saying that he was a “suspected drug dealer.” Keyword: SUSPECTED. Does that make him any less deserving of fair treatment in the justice system? Yes Khalil did sell drugs but he had a reason, he was protecting his mother. Ever since his mother stole drugs from King he’s been selling them to pay King back. The world needs to finally hear the truth and realize that there are two sides to every story. When people think of Khalil now they think drug dealer and ignore his personality. Similar to how when they think of Garden Heights they think ghetto and ignore the community part. The only reason Garden Heights became like this was when drugs became introduced into the community. That's when people became hooked on them, and others began to sell them for quick cash to get away from the poor lifestyle. When will this cycle end? 🤬🤬

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Yesterday night my best friend Khalil and I were driving home from a party when he was wrongfully shot by a white cop 😪. Khalil did not deserve this and I will not stand for this. We did nothing wrong. The cop simply shot him on the preconceived notion that all black people on the bad side of town are up to no good. Where is the justice in the system now? This is not the first time this happened and it will not be the last either unless I do something about it.