nefariousasexualschemeoftheday - Tumblr blog

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

It’s illegal to rule the world if you’re not board-certified.

Pearl Forrester (via dailymst3kquote)

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

[Nefarious Asexual is frantically rigging laser cannons on the walls of the Nefarious Citadel.] Henchgirlfriend! Get the sharks!!

My bird army training program is progressing nicely…

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

My plan is without flaw! Neither INTERPOL, nor other villains, nor chance or time or scarcity can stop me! The only thing that can defeat me is Sonic Personally Fucking.

oh lord, what did penders do now?

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It’s really devaluing the Evil market when we can commit villainy just by earning a living. #supervillainsoflatecapitalism

the revelation that that fuck yeah asexual blog is affiliated with amazon just goes to show that there is a very big and very real problem of corporations trying to get involved in the peoples’ pride, personality, and personal lives. i literally dont give a shit if ur ace or not, inclu or exclu, what-fucking-ever this isnt abt that, you still need to realize this is a serious issue and stop rbing posts from them and interacting with them because it only shows amazon that they can do this again and enables them to continue to stick their noses in things that belong to the people and they have no right to touch (you know…like lgbt pride)

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Some may call it “hogging the raw materials” but I call it “unlimited wood-fired pizza potential.”

“So-and-so identity I’m prejudiced against is gonna use up all the LGBT resources!” like this is fuckin Age of Empires II or some shit

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

You’ve found us out, OP! Our dastardly scheme to use terms that sound like terms that other minority orientations use is neither a result of community overlap nor of etymology--it’s an attempt to wear your skin!!!  

Hi a friend of mine had a piping hot take but they don’t discourse and they said I could make it a post so here goes

[aces] create terms like aphobia, allosexual, allosexism, amatonormativity, etc. just to copy the kind of oppression and terms lgbt spaces have in order to emulate the feeling of belonging to a marginalized group

their community and term list is a carbon copy of our terms, even stealing ones like gatekeeping

its so obvious that they want to emulate our oppression so they can have a voice in a space which they shouldnt have one

their motives are so transparent i cant even fucking comprehend it

**cishets and dumbasses don’t interact**

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

poisonhemloc replied to your post “So the Nefarious Henchgirlfriend said she needed some Comet to clean...”

I'm very glad the Orbital Diversion Laser Cannon is working but my leftovers were in the kitchen.

Damn! All right, we have two options:

1. We can issue you some new food.

2. You can go to the crater and inhale deeply a lot. That should allow you to consume most of the component molecules of your leftovers. 

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

So the Nefarious Henchgirlfriend said she needed some Comet to clean the stains off the sink and uh

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my Orbital Diversion Laser Cannon is up and working like a dream! The bad news is that the kitchen of the Nefarious Citadel has been replaced by a crater.

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

Why, @queer-mermista , they’re just learning from me! Everyone knows that no matter what an exclusionist does, an asexual did it First and Worst! My crack Asexual Infiltration Team is on hand to infiltrate the exclusionist discords and bottle their vitriol to use as paint thinner and digestive juices for my dinosaur robot.

@ exclusionists making/liking posts about your fellow exclusionists sneaking into inclusionist discords/groups: the reason you think people are invading the community is because you’re projecting. Not everyone is as deceptive, selfish, and vile as you are.

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Nefarious Asexual Scheme of the Day:

1. *poof*

Ace positive exclusionist is an oxymoron.

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

You're alive! The eggplant post still makes me cackle. - Minion # א‎0

The Man tried to keep me down, but I was too erratic and monstrous for his hobnail boots, maaaaan.

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

It’s true. Little do they know, but our cold sexless unfeeling hearts are actually in love.

WE’RE IN LOVE WITH THE COCO.

[Caption: A clip from the video of “CoCo” by OT Genasis, with the Sneaky Jughead face crudely pasted over the lead singer’s.]

sometimees... aceys r just crackheads,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Yeah… Lol

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

welcome back bro yeet

Thanks, dear minion! Yeet! [yeets a canister out a window. What it is and what it will do remains unseen...]

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Good to have you back (even if it's just part-time)! -Minion #2654

Why thank you, dear minion! As the first to welcome me back, you get extra nutrient pellets! [Choice of lasagna, steak, or vegan meal. Go to the dispenser in Lab 12 for the best ones ;) ]

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

Nefarious Asexual Scheme of the Day:

1. Create a sex-positive environment where people don’t have to feel shame about sex

2. Rearrange our identities around hating sex

3. Combine our snotty hatred of sex with the plentiful not hating of sex that we have fostered

4. Achieve space flight by launching capsules on a wave of sex repulsion

Hey, do y’all remember the time that an exclusionist literally parroted the anti-LGBT+ arguments of days long past in saying that the asexual identity is just a sexual dysfunction (reminiscent of the days when homophobes would say that being gay was just a sexual dysfunction)?

Because I remember.

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HOLY SHIT YOU'RE BACK? How did the nefarious sabbatical go?

Ah! I’m afraid I’m just keeping an eye on my mailbag. I’ll still definitely answer communiques from my lovely minions but the schemes are still on hold at present. With this economy the way it is, even the most brilliant among us (me) must still keep day jobs.

[nefariousasexualschemeoftheday]

Is the whole "dress as skeletons on February 15th for Skeltor day" thing an "official" scheme, or is that just something some of the minions have organized themselves on the side?

A brave minion brought it up at the monthly Cake, Coffee, and Crushing Our Enemies meet, and I thought it was just excellent!