neighborly-bookworm

[neighborly-bookworm]

Thinkin’ about THEM in these trying times….😔

[neighborly-bookworm]

the anger i feel when i see someone mod henry's beloved goober face to be more conventionally handsome is so instant and irrational. how dare you fix his forehead. you are under fucking attack

[neighborly-bookworm]

just two blacksmiths comparing life philosophies

(just two nobles about to romance the shit out of them)

[neighborly-bookworm]

this may be a blasphemous opinion but i dont think henry and hans actually Fucked in suchdol. if the cutscene is anything to go by i think they just kinda cuddled naked horny style. but also i think both of them would be kinda scared of anal not only because this is the 1400s and proper education/prep for this sort of thing isnt exactly circulating yet but also because these two strike me as the kind of newly-awakened cis bi guys who have no idea what theyre supposed to be doing and just freak out. once they return to the devils den they realize theyre sharing a room again and immediately resort to playing dice to determine who bottoms. this is the only vision ill accept

[neighborly-bookworm]

For my foreign followers here's a short explanation of what happened in yesterday's elections:

1. You can be openly antisemitic, anti-european and pro-russian, be against abortions, want to make Poland officially a religious state and still get ~6% of all votes

2. You can openly support hitting children, be against abortion in all cases (most famously in the campaign - rape victims, also young girls), call rape an "uncomfortable situation", be for getting rid of the national health system and free education and still get ~15% of all votes

3. You can have criminal connections, write a book under an alias and praise yourself anonymously, lie publicly about having one flat but in reality have two more, scam an older man out of his flat promising you will be taking care of him and not do that, sell that flat to yourself without the old man knowing about it, put the old man in an old people's home making the city of Gdansk pay for his stay not attributing a single zloty yourself, and have a notary agreement for that same old man to pay you 20% yearly interest for the flat that isn't even his anymore and still get ~30% of the votes

There is no hope for this country I swear

[neighborly-bookworm]

i chuj bombki strzelił, jest gorzej niż było xD

mam nadzieję, że te ostteczne wyniki wyborów będą inaczej wyglądać, no bo kurwa, braun na 4 miejscu??? razem z memcenem mają ok. 20%, czy ludziom się we łbach poprzewracało??!! a najbardziej przeraża mnie, że głosowały na nich też kobiety

dosl ja nie wiem, jak można glosować na ludzi, którzy nienawidzą polowy obywateli swojego kraju i nazywają to patriotyzmem

[neighborly-bookworm]

mam nadzieję, że te ostteczne wyniki wyborów będą inaczej wyglądać, no bo kurwa, braun na 4 miejscu??? razem z memcenem mają ok. 20%, czy ludziom się we łbach poprzewracało??!! a najbardziej przeraża mnie, że głosowały na nich też kobiety

dosl ja nie wiem, jak można glosować na ludzi, którzy nienawidzą polowy obywateli swojego kraju i nazywają to patriotyzmem

[neighborly-bookworm]

So you understand, I spent a long time looking for a Hansry fic that would suit my mood.

It just so happens that I don't like most post-canon fics because they all boil down to the irrevocable wedding of Jitka and Hans, where Henry fades into the background.

I'm not against Jitka, but I don't like that in almost every fic she is made a participant in a love triangle.

She also clearly didn't really want to marry a stranger. Why does she usually become a participant in this triangle in fics if she and Hans can just agree to have children and have lovers, as was usually the case in the Middle Ages?🤔

Why are you already adding drama to this dramatic situation?

That same Stephanie got herself a lover. Jitka can too. Stop giving her and the guys this drama. We already have the 15th century and religious guilt. Where else are you adding drama?

Jitka may be just as caught up in the situation and in love with someone other than Hans.

[neighborly-bookworm]

These two are hopeless and very obvious but the gang is always too drunk to notice anything

[neighborly-bookworm]

I think as a fandom we don't talk enough about how hot it was when Hans beat that guy to death to protect Henry.

Or how kind he was as he helped carry his poor delirious friend through the woods. He was hurt and scared too, but he kept reminding Henry that he's a warrior, that he survived Skalitz, that it isn't his fault.

I mean he fucked it all up later by comparing Henry to a sack of flour and calling him a useless stupid peasant who ruined his life. But, you know, loved to see him go feral on that bandit dude.

[neighborly-bookworm]

Unpopular opinion but I do not really think hansry is a tragic or doomed ship? And I say so with disappointment of someone who enjoys tragic ships.

Yes, yes, they cannot be ever together publicly and Hans does have to fulfil his arranged marriage and you can imagine them having a bit of religious crisis (though there even is no real indication either of them seem to be losing their sleep over this kind of sodomy they commit).

And of course here it also depends how you view jealousy as Hans being a noble has his responsibilities of having a wife and producing an heir. But Henry never really get chance to show that he's jealous in regards of anything and Hans' jealousy seems to be one of emotional kind.

So overall there is really nothing preventing their affair, on the contrary, Henry has all the reasons to just stick by Hans' side all the time.

[neighborly-bookworm]

It's funny when some KCD players say that Hans and Henry's romance is not canon because the real Hans eventually married Jitka and they had a son, which is why the Hansry couldn't be together.

Do you know what else is historically true!?

That some of the game's characters were already dead at the start of the game and apparently were resurrected by necromancers based on secret documents! Hans should have been 15 years old at the time of the events, and there was definitely no blacksmith's son named Henry in history who soloed armies and was the son of Radzig!

Shove your homophobic insinuations up your ass and stop covering them up with "history" when this game doesn't aim to be historically accurate, but only takes a part of something from it to create a story based on it!😡🤜

How I hate such arguments.

[neighborly-bookworm]

One of the things about Hans is that he's fucking lonely. His parents died when he was very young, and he's being raised by his 'uncle', who, in theory, is meant to give Rattay over to him when he's of age. In the games, he's 19 or 20 (?). And so he has no family, really, except Hanush and whatever staff is raising him. The people he spends time with are all trying to train him to be a better noble, a better politician, someone who will do what they want when he's the lord of Rattay. And anyone who isn't, isn't around for him; they're there for Hanush. And even though Hans is a noble, he has no real claim - it belongs to Hanush - and on top of that, he's very young, and a little hot-headed - and immature, admittedly - so they just don't respect him. At all. It's made very clear at different points in both games; he's at the table because he's a noble, but no one thinks he's earned more respect than that.

And then the commoners he spends time around pretend. They pretend to like him, pretend to respect him, pretend, pretend. Because he is a noble, because he does have power over them, because if they don't, they could be in very real trouble. So they laugh at his jokes, listen to his stories, play dice with him and lose at practice duels.

And as soon as he's gone, they whisper about how bad he would be as a leader, how they don't want Hanush to hand over Rattay, how hes immature and childish and snobby and annoying....

And then, this orphan from Skalitz shows up, half dead after running for his life and being saved at great danger to some great knights, and he has the AUDACITY to ask Sir Radzig to be his squire.

And then Hans hates him - and Henry hates Hans. And they argue. And they duel with swords, they compete at archery, they get in a brawl at the tavern when Hans wants to ignore the rules, but Henry doesn't think he should be allowed to. And Hanush punishes them both by making them go hunting.

And Henry doesn't laugh just because Hans told a joke - he doesn't respect him just because he should. He argues, insults him, makes jokes at his expense, and then, even after all that, he saves his life

And they carry on like that. And Hans grows fonder and fonder of this boy from Skalitz who isn't afraid of him, who actually, truly does respect him, but doesn't kiss his ass just because he's supposed to. And he isn't Lonely, anymore. And that's huge for him. And I think it's a big part of why he fell so hard for a village yokel.

Theres also a lot of times where someone is just plain disrespectful to Hans - ignoring his ideas or just whatever he said or telling him it's bad or ETC, ETC - and Henry can step in and stand up for him. It's another one of those things that I imagine no one else ever did for him. His only family was Hanush, and he's plainly more concerned with Hans figuring out how to act appropriately in court than he is with listening to his ideas or whatever

And Henry gets SO mad and fuckin fights with him at the start of KCD2, and for a while, Hans is so mad that he called him out, told him he's a spoilt brat and a fool, and then, when he sees Henry again, he keeps up his stupid act until Henry is in trouble, and he's there immediately to back him up, at the cost of his own freedom and almost his life. Because Henry is his friend, and he cares for him very deeply.

(And also! After their fight, he's all "fuck off, I don't want to see you, I'll figure it out on my own," but if you find him out poaching, he'll still say "I'm trying to get money so WE can get into the wedding")

And also the whole time he's agnozing that he might actually lose Henry because of his behavior - he admits as much to Henry, which is not easy for him at all. And Henry reassures him he does care about him, and gives "his word as a blacksmith" that he won't leave his side.

Henry is something he's never had. He's honest, and he cares about Hans. He doesn't serve him platitudes or try to make him pleased because he should. He's unafraid to argue when Hans is wrong, or call him out on stupid ideas. But, even so, he'll argue to defend Hans against people he has no business arguing with, and he'll risk his life again and again to save him.

And Henry doesn't need great romance poems or epic stories; he just needs his honesty. When he tells Hans he cares, he doesn't make a big show, he just says it, every time. "I care about you, maybe more than you know." And how often has Hans had that?

Looking at all of it through the lens of Hans, how he was raised, how lonely he must have been. He needed Henry as much as Henry needed him. Their love is so wonderful, and it makes so much sense. I do hope the beautiful folks at Warhorse are unafraid to make it a bigger part of the next game.

[neighborly-bookworm]

Did you know you can navigate the world of KCD2 using the stars?

Realized while I was playing my hardcore mode just now!

[neighborly-bookworm]

I joke about Hans Capon being a damsel in need of constant rescue but he's actually so incredibly brave, and so skilled. His only flaw is caring.

He's a very good archer and he's been training under Bernard, so obviously his combat skills are commendable but he's not expected to be putting those skills to use in the frontlines. He was raised to be a diplomat, to talk, to lead, and he's also very good at that (you'll know if you let him lead negotiations in the game) BUT shit changes when he starts caring about people. When he starts caring about Henry. Pairing him with Henry was supposed to be punishment but they end up becoming best friends. Hans learns to respect, care for, and love a commoner, someone he always saw as below him. He was never supposed to be going on crazy missions but Henry is going, so he wants to go, he'd never leave his side!

He simply forgets the fact that he's not expendable, he's a goddamn noble, so the stuff Henry, the gang, soldiers and knights are doing on a regular basis are more dangerous to him because he's valuable to enemies. He needs to be constantly reminded by the others of how important he is, and still he ignores it, because all he wants is to prove himself brave and worthy, he wants to protect Henry, he wants to go wherever Henry goes, even though Henry is technically only doing his job to protect his lord.

He feels shattered when Henry leaves Suchdol with Sam and that's why I'm obsessed with that last romance scene. Hans has never been so vulnerable like that, he's scared, his voice is shaky, he knows this mission is ten times more dangerous than the others, they are exhausted and starved and people won't let him go with Henry. It's clear to me neither of them ever saw it coming. This ain't love, right? Right? But it has been from the start. Every single romance line with Hans is about caring. I care more than you know. I won't let anything happen to you. I'll be back and everything will be fine. That first kiss is a burst of emotion. If this was a musical Hans Capon would be singing. And he relaxes and smiles when Henry leads him to bed because for a couple hours they're safe, they're equals and there's only love between them.

Anyway all this blabbering was just so I could reiterate that love made Hans Capon brave, and that bravery mixed in with his young age makes him reckless, sure, but if having a noble title isn't stopping him from rushing to the trenches with Henry, imagine what he would do if he didn't have those shackles! My Henry would save his ass a thousand times over and over again, because Hans would do the same if he could.

[neighborly-bookworm]

"So you brought Karolina here?"

Hans, who was in the process of dragging the band of Sigismund's men he and Henry had just slaughtered to a suitable burial spot, looked up. He piled the bodies together and grabbed the spade.

"Yes. But it was empty at the time."

"Interesting..." Henry said as he finished collecting the meat from the butchered deer in the camp, "I went to Bohunowitz. They'd never heard of her."

"She likely told me a fake name," Hans said with a casual shrug, burying the slaughtered soldiers, "to protect her reputation, if you know what I mean."

"Of course," Henry approached Hans, assisting him with the last of the graves, "and here I was thinking you made her up to make someone jealous."

Hans chuckled, leaning cockily on his spade, "and I suppose your jaunt to Bohunowitz was entirely necessary?"

"Well, I was in the area," Henry lied, focusing on digging the grave rather than Hans' smug grin, "I'd heard it was nice. I just wanted to look around."

Hans nodded slowly but he didn't say anything though his self-satisfied smile remained until the last of teh soldiers were buried. They loaded the game into the saddlebags and set off back to the Devil's Den. Henry caught Hans' eye and he looked away, feigning nonchalance. Hans laughed.

"You were jealous."

"So?" Henry snapped, his face growing hot. Unbelievable. Hans had invented a woman and he was the one blushing, "isn't that what you wanted?"

Hans smirked, shaking his head, "you wish, blacksmith."

"Alright," Henry said, spurring Pebbles so he riding alongside his master, "so that poem of yours isn't about us, then?"

It was Hans' turn to blush. "Shut up, Henry."

Henry wore his smug grin with pride all the way back to the Devil's Den.

[neighborly-bookworm]

so you’re telling me pope francis died after meeting jd vance… starting a rumour that jd vance is the antichrist