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Love Squared: The Most Compatible 6 Minute Test Personality Types

If you’ve ever taken the popular 6 Minute Test online, then you know that your personality can be a complex thing—so complex, in fact, that there’s 16 different categories into which the test-taker might fall. Such a vast array of personality types also means that each one can get highly specific; for example, there’s simply no denying that a Drama Club Treasurer and a Birthday Ruiner are going to act very differently if presented with the same circumstances.

This disparity becomes doubly true in our relationships: while they might exhibit significant differences, can that same Drama Club Treasurer find that same Birthday Ruiner a viable partner? After all, we don’t want to date a carbon copy of ourselves, but rather someone who complements our traits with their own. With that in mind, I’ve written up a list of each personality type’s ideal suitors. You might even find that your current significant other is not recommended by the 6 Minute Test, and that’s okay. I have a separate article coming out next week about how you can let your brand-new or long-term partner down easy.

The Child On A Jumbotron (LBOC)

These brash spotlight-seekers need validation and attention in spades, requiring someone patient who can cheer on their partner’s exploits ad nauseam, even when those high jinks occasionally overshadow the relationship. Pervert Landlords can supply this support system in their own subtle way, but it’s The Soot-Caked Ragamuffin who will fulfill the needs of their Child On A Jumbotron partner without complaint, and without ever once desiring that limelight for themselves.

The 46-Year-Old Who Bought DJ Equipment (LBYC)

There’s no question here: the heartbreaking pursuits of a 46-Year-Old Who Bought DJ Equipment are best taken at face value, without comment, by a staid George H.W. Bush personality type. This partner will lob no judgments, just a steady and unwavering acceptance of the LBYC—provided that the LBYC continues to prioritize the relationship alongside their myriad and progressively more expensive hobbies.

The Karaoke Vetoer (UBYC)

This will sound controversial, but The Karaoke Vetoer, in their infinite capacity for stubbornness, needs a partner they can match wits with—and butt heads with—without cease. That’s why Karaoke Vetoers are often drawn to their complete and total opposite: The Murderous Former Starlet, or the LPOA to their UBYC. The Starlet, with their deep-set inner tragedy, can help put the UBYC’s nearly infinite list of non-starters in perspective, reminding them that there are some people out there who have real problems, rather than largely invented ones.

The Huge Spider (UBOC)

The Huge Spider personality type, skittish and repulsive as it is, simply needs to walk through life alongside a more parasitic version of itself: The 9-Headed Cave Beast. Equally reviled by society as a whole, this pairing dances the perfect two-step, with The Huge Spider scuttling away just as The 9-Headed Cave Beast lashes out. With a UBOC/UPOC pairing, each partner can play to their strengths, advancing and retreating in harmony.

The Big Bad Chicken (LBOA)

When it comes to Big Bad Chickens, game recognizes game. These assertive and almost oppressively cool individuals tend to appreciate the underhanded and fearsome personalities around them, as they admire anyone who seems to share their ruthlessness. If you’re an LBOA, find yourself a Scrabble Dictionary Memorizer and delight in their capacity for endless arguments and sly attempts at your undoing. You’ll have a worthy sparring partner for life!

The George H.W. Bush (LBYA)

If you’re a George H.W. Bush personality and you’re looking to spice up your love life a bit, The Drama Club Treasurer will surely be the partner of your dreams. These plucky, needling little foot soldiers live to uphold the world of law and order, and that dovetails beautifully with your own desire for a life of efficient task managing. Drama Club Treasurers inspire George H.W. Bushes to be all that they can be, while never forgetting the couple’s shared priorities of incremental achievement.

The Scrabble Dictionary Memorizer (UBYA)

UBYAs live for the thrill of the debate, and they need a partner who will let that debate continue on and on into infinity. For that, there’s no one better suited than those with the Comcast personality type, as their brick-wall resilience to escalating levels of human emotion play well against The Scrabble Dictionary Memorizer’s endless attempts to rhetorically destroy an opponent.

The Worst One (UBOA)

We all know that The Worst Ones are “even worse romantic partners than they are friends”—it’s written right there in the 6 Minute Test results! But if there’s one personality type that’s impervious to The Worst One’s mistreatment, it’s a Birthday Ruiner. The UPYC’s penchant for overindulging and walking around in a haze of high-running emotion means that their buzz is nigh impenetrable, even by The Worst One. (And if a Birthday Ruiner ever does break down in tears or anger, it rarely has anything to do with those around them, but rather a shattered iPhone or a high heel stuck in a sewer grate.)

The Murderous Former Starlet (LPOA)

Sometimes the best cure for your own looming sense of dread is spending time around someone for whom the concepts of regret or self-reflection do not compute. Anyone with The Murderous Former Starlet personality type would be well suited to date a Nude Man At The Bottom Of A Manhole. With the latter’s penchant for seeking a fun night at any and all costs, an LPOA wistful for their glory days can watch on the sidelines as their LPOC flails to perpetuate his or her own.

The Soot-Caked Ragamuffin (LPYA)

Pathetic. Just pathetic. That’s how the world responds to The Soot-Caked Ragamuffin—everyone except The 46-Year-Old Who Bought DJ Equipment, that is. The latter will embrace The Soot-Caked Ragamuffin for all their flaws, only asking in return for patience and respect during a labored beat-dropping session or a capoeira beginner-level showcase.

Comcast (UPYA)

Comcast is entirely undeserving of love and is best held a football field’s length from anyone and everyone.

The Pervert Landlord (UPOA)

Generally, anyone with The Pervert Landlord personality type prefers an observational remove from the object of their affection. And that’s exactly why, for a UPOA, The Worst One is such a match made in 6 Minute Test heaven. The Worst One (or the UBOA personality type) is such an uncommitted and apathetic partner that The Pervert Landlord is still free to leer at, trail behind, or hover over attractive acquaintances or strangers to their heart’s content. Indeed, the UPOA can rest assured that this joyless partnership is barely a stumbling block between them and the unfortunate targets of their “neighborly greetings.”

The Nude Man At The Bottom Of A Manhole (LPOC)

With undeniable affability and an irresistible fun-loving nature, The Nude Man At The Bottom Of A Manhole would be happy with any number of personality types along the 6 Minute Test spectrum. One thing’s for sure, though: they must never, ever join forces with a Birthday Ruiner (UPYC), as the collective damage inflicted by their combination of tireless shenanigans and bottomless thirst for drama would be unimaginable.

The Drama Club Treasurer (LPYC)

There are lots of viable partners out there for someone with The Drama Club Treasurer personality type, but frankly, what Drama Club Treasurer can spare the time? An LPYC understands that when duty calls, you can’t just be off canoodling with some Pervert Landlord or Huge Spider. Having a firm sense of one’s priorities is what got The Drama Club Treasurer to where they are in the first place, and they’re not about to throw that all away on love.  

The Birthday Ruiner (UPYC)

For maximum cohesion, The Birthday Ruiner personality type should try to find themselves a nice Child On A Jumbotron (LBOC) to settle down (or steam things up!) with. As the Child On A Jumbotron gyrates their way through life delighting the crowd, The Birthday Ruiner’s overindulgent tendencies are ideally suited to cheering on their partner’s antics. This is a loud partnership, but one that burns hot and bright.

The 9-Headed Cave Beast (UPOC)

For the safety and comfort of everyone along the 6 Minute Test personality spectrum, it’s advised that 9-Headed Cave Beasts only seek out and latch onto other 9-Headed Cave Beasts. Not only does this guarantee mutual understanding of each other’s gaping flaws, but it also ensures that any UPOC-adjacent traits stay well away from the rest of the gene pool.