neonbodyache

[neonbodyache]

the problem with buying food is after you eat it you have to go buy more food

[neonbodyache]

Without Memory, dir by Hirokazu Kore-eda (1996)

[neonbodyache]

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

[neonbodyache]

konjac noodle soup save me konjac noodle soup

[neonbodyache]

ballet boys spo. not my pics

[neonbodyache]

freedom! back 2 work

this medical test requires multiple cameras placed on me that r monitored remotely at all times 24/7 meaning I’ve had to eat all my meals on camera this week I can’t do my fucked up stims I can’t sh I can’t smoke I can’t drink cant purge cant jerk off i can’t even punch the walls without someone watching and making notes. my ass is not surviving the panopticon

[neonbodyache]

Tell me when you get bored. A story about doses. [x]

I posted this on twitter and had a variety of aggressive ableism thrown my way.

This is a story about changing what I can in spite of what I cannot for the comfort of my loved ones. The thing that others find to be hurtful about me is that I like to spend time in silent solitude. People who love me often feel hurt that I tend to solve my own problems instead of leaning on them.

When we spend too much time together, people find my neutrality to be concerning, and it becomes too much for people to be unable to read me.

To show the people I love that I enjoy their company in ways they can understand, I pool my energy together to be high-energy, peppy, and social. Since this is not my natural state of being, it takes effort, which can only be expended in small doses. I amplify the things people like in me while filtering out everything they dislike about me when I am in their company.

I change my behaviors for those I love, but at the end of the day, I cannot change my neutral state of being, which is the thing that they want most out of me.

This is a story about me accommodating people in the best way I know how, not the other way around. I would truly appreciate it if people don't misconstrue this anecdote as me asking for dismissal of hurtful behavior when in reality, people find hurt in the fact that I simply exist, and I must change for them.

[neonbodyache]

I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage

[neonbodyache]

20250611-B0018051

[neonbodyache]

[neonbodyache]

[neonbodyache]

There must be something that can be done

[neonbodyache]

«☼»Closer Nine Inch Nails Stimboard!

(pt: Closer Nine Inch Nails Stimboard! /end pt)

x.x.x-x.o.x-x.x.x

☼ requested by anon

[neonbodyache]

[neonbodyache]

creds r/edanonymemes

[neonbodyache]

this medical test requires multiple cameras placed on me that r monitored remotely at all times 24/7 meaning I’ve had to eat all my meals on camera this week I can’t do my fucked up stims I can’t sh I can’t smoke I can’t drink cant purge cant jerk off i can’t even punch the walls without someone watching and making notes. my ass is not surviving the panopticon

[neonbodyache]

it's not self harm I'm simply indulging in my masochism