neosatsuma

[neosatsuma]

being on tumblr for a long time but never reading homestuck like

[neosatsuma]

Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.

“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”

“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”

[neosatsuma]

My girlfriend is on a cruise so while she’s gone I’m gonna cut the sleeves off of all my shirts

[neosatsuma]

The first rule of cable management is "out of sight, out of mind"

[neosatsuma]

[neosatsuma]

I'm going to *remembers suicide jokes are detrimental to my mental health* quit my job and start making shoes for American Girl Dolls

[neosatsuma]

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

[neosatsuma]

[neosatsuma]

Hazel dormouse discovered in a nest box during a licensed check, Lorna Griffiths, Notts Dormouse Group

[neosatsuma]

[neosatsuma]

Syril study because wow, what a phenomenal character arc. I was thinking about the interview(s) where Gilroy has remarked that "ultimately, fascism eats its young," which led me to playing around with text too

[neosatsuma]

i dont like how the ios saluting emoji is cut in half so i glued him back together in my high tech surgery program called "MS Paint" the ms stands for medical surgery.

[neosatsuma]

petting both cats at once is insane because Xiaomian is plump, plush, and dusty, whereas Lynx in true geriatric fashion is thin, crunchy, and greasy

[neosatsuma]

[neosatsuma]

Noticing an overlap between people who say “It’s a dog eat dog world. Empathy is a weakness and sometimes you need to throw others under the bus to succeed” and people who put their efforts into making sure the world stays like that.

[neosatsuma]

[neosatsuma]

had a dream last night that i was told by god the most perfect name in the universe and it was "jim furniture"