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Conversation:
“I asked for understanding, my heart needs healing.”
“Love is supposed to be supportive, I’ll suppress my feeling.”
“Be there when I need you, I be here chilling.”
“Love requires sacrifice, I accept my killing.”
“Even if it hurts, don’t complain, don’t whine!”
“My heart has to burn, so your life can shine.”
“Why be so emotional, can’t you just act fine?”
“Your heart didn’t just heal, your wounds have became mine!”
CA 10/14/2024
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What trickery alas o heart, how you entrapped me,
Belonged me to them who weren’t mine anyway.
So what if they chose not to walk with me in this life,
Grateful am I, for they pointed me the path anyway.
Easy it has been for them to forget me and move on,
What do I move on to, I have forgotten myself anyway.
In this time of pain, one who I remember is them,
In their soul, I found the solace anyway.
If love was an ocean I might have survived,
Hopelessly I drowned in the mirage anyway.
Nothing had I, yet everyone robbed me,
nothing mine ever belonged to me anyway.
How do I blame anyone for my circumstances,
I have been pained by my own anyway.
They want to re-shape me pretty through the care now,
Burnt my heart and soul, they melted me anyway.
Strangers now, still in the same boat, both lost,
As I lost them, they too lost me anyway.
Intoxicated and lost, I lose myself in this darkness,
Still can’t forget you, for you are my light anyway.
You- the first ray of sun, the first rain of spring, mi amor,
Your presence alone blooms my heart anyway.
Amused- those are crying on my departure from here,
Who made me cry the most anyway.
CA 10/02/2024
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"I have manipulated everyone who has ever fallen in love with me to fall in love with me and that either makes me a very good liar or a very unloveable human being."
- Sade Andria Zabala, Paper Napkin Stories
(My most toxic trait)
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My sleep no longer lasts till dawn's slight light,
You keep your distance, even in our dreams at night.
Please cease to tread upon my tender heart,
For it's my heart that holds yours, in a sacred part.
In my garden where faith blooms and longings weave,
Flowers of love stand strong, refusing to grieve.
Morning dews of hope that glisten on my face,
Turns into rain through eyes at night, in this weary race.
Grateful am I for those who still hold me near,
As splashing springs became swirl, I faced my fear.
As for her company my burning heart glow,
Offers a flicker of light in the darkness I know.
Heart turned into ashes, it seems never to rest,
In this endless journey, where tests that persist.
How my love exhausted this life, I sighed,
From cradle to grave, I have wandered and cried.
CA 09/30/2024.
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People aren't homes, they never will be. People are rivers, always changing, forever flowing. They will disappear with everything you put inside them.
~ Nikita Gill
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