neptuneisgay - Tumblr blog

[neptuneisgay]

I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist

[neptuneisgay]

i don’t flirt i just say weird shit until you tell me i’m pretty & wanna kiss me

[neptuneisgay]

Photos of Black Lesbians in The Past

Because if we have a past, we'll sure as hell have a future

[neptuneisgay]

[neptuneisgay]

ok well im going to build a good future for myself whether i like it or not

[neptuneisgay]

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

[neptuneisgay]

the team is chasing the sickest murderers to ever live meanwhile these two on the phone sexually harassing each other

[neptuneisgay]

Childhood made everything feel like it lingered. The time it took for hot chocolate to cool down was eternal. Christmas day took weeks. The two-hour drive to my grandparents' house took us to a new world. It's all too fast now.

[neptuneisgay]

[neptuneisgay]

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

[neptuneisgay]

this is the best tweet i've ever seen bar none

[neptuneisgay]

telling a joke on tumblr is fun but watch out! if it gets over 1000 notes your joke is automatically exposed to people who have never once heard a joke in their life.

[neptuneisgay]

I cannot express how much I adore dappled shadows formed by sunlight in paintings and photography and in real life

[neptuneisgay]

the "new normal" couldve been respirators & rapid tests & hepa filters & universal basic income & accessibility & caring about other people.........

[neptuneisgay]

one of the best tips for Real Life that I’ve ever picked up is to always highball your estimate whenever someone asks you “when can you get this done by” by about 25% (if you can get away with it). that way, if it ends up being harder than you thought, you’ve got extra time to figure things out and if you were right about how much time it takes then you get to look like an absolute genius instead of just a simply competent person.

what you may not have realized is that I learned this crucial piece of life advice from an episode of Star Trek where Scotty is telling Geordi that whenever he told Kirk something on the Enterprise was at full capacity, it was always only ever a notch or so below full capacity so that Scotty looked like the god of all engineers when he was able to magically hack the warp drive to run a little beyond what he’d told everyone else was “full capacity” and honestly that one throwaway gag from Star Trek has changed my life.

[neptuneisgay]

[neptuneisgay]

sometimes being out of the loop is self preservation