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A new moveset for a hypothetical The Adventure Zone platform fighter! It’s our first Graduation entry, Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt!

Fitzroy excels at surprises, partially due to the unpredictable nature of his down special and some of his standard moves, and partially because he is a puppet fighter who can quickly choose between whether his special moves originate from himself or his familiar.

For Fitzroy’s standard special, the first press will summon Snippers. Further presses will cause Snippers to move towards Fitz for as long as the button is held. The two of them will execute standard attacks at the same time, but specials can only originate from one at a time.

Their side special fires off a Thunderwave. It doesn’t do much damage, but has fantastic knockback. Like the rest of Fitzroy’s specials, a quick tap of the button means Fitzroy will attack, while a slightly longer press sets the spell to originate from Snippers.

Skipping ahead to Fitz’s up special, a graceful twirl of his boycloak. It doesn’t give much height, but reflects projectiles, and each projectile or foe hit will give him a little extra air. If used by Snippers instead, he will do a small hop and spin, also reflecting projectiles.

Back to Fitzroy’s down special, Wild Magic. There are nine possible outcomes of equal probability, and each can originate from either Fitz or Snippers. The move can’t be used again until the previous effect wears off. The options are as follows: 1.) Briefly spawn a copy of the user, allowing most attacks to hit twice. 2.) Grow slightly for a bit, raising damage and weight. 3.) Shrink slightly for a bit, raising speed and lowering weight. 4.) Spawn a shield around the user that temporarily reduces damage taken. 5.) Call lightning, damaging anyone above or directly next to the user6.) A necrotic cloud follows the user for a bit, doing slight damage and slightly healing Fitz. 7.) Three magic missiles fire from the user, homing in on nearby opponents. 8.) The user casts fireball, centered on themselves. Damages Fitzroy and despawns Snippers, but does massive damage to anyone nearby 9.) The user very very briefly turns into a potted plant, during which time they take increased knockback.

And lastly, Fitzroy’s finale, which turns all opponents into catfish. The closer they were to Fitzroy, the longer the transformation lasts. While catfish’d, opponents can only vaguely move around and do light slaps.

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You know, I remember a time where there was this big joke that no human could/should be sexually attracted to the McElroys. I have been an outlier for a long time, but then they post stuff like this?? We all agree that the Hot Dad energy is overwhelming, yes, and cannot be denied any longer?

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episode 43 of ethersea gave me those shivers that certain balance and amnesty scenes have but like 5 times in one episode i have whiplash

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Finished my piece for last week’s Adventure Zone Ethersea episode. Really excited for where this story is gonna go as we approach the season finale!

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Sometimes you are up late at night, wine drunk, thinking about the dream you had about a threesome with your favorite podcaster and their wife, and life is pretty damn good

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MBMBAM: Characters Welcome

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I believe in Sydnee McElroy supremacy

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exCUSE ME

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u ever just crave some mcelboys

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Since I've been relistening to the Balance arc because Ethersea is so good it's making me want more TAZ, I am certain that Zoox is the natural progression of where Clint really wanted to go with Merle.

Like, in balance he tries to mind meld with things, but didn't have the mechanics to do it. So much of Zoox is in little kernels of Merle, and it's so interesting how he's exploring identity and self through this character, who's entire powerset is about being part of a collective.

Anyway, zoox might be my favorite TAZ character of all time, and I hope Clint is just having the best time - it certainly seems like he is!

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humans need a healthy dose of believing in benign bullshit. four leaf clovers. salt over the shoulder. if you don’t let it out in little ways it builds up inside of you where it rots until you join qanon.

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went to the thrift store today there were so many textures there (affectionate)(derogatory)

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Be the pond, Danny

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Incredibly fucking crucial information for Americans where period tracking digitally is concerned: DELETE YOUR DATA, DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT AND DELETE YOUR APPS

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I heard this metaphor growing up, and in my case, it backfired supremely, because I went out into my neighbor's backyard where a rose bush was growing, and the one I tested had like 30 petals (it was yellow, but definitely a rose of some kind), and as a very logical lass, I came to the conclusion that you could have premarital sex AT LEAST ten times before your future husband would even notice something was up. Moral of the story? Test your metaphors on the weirdest and most neurodivergent child you know before writing your weird religious propaganda.

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twice now, i have been called by scammers pretending to be bankers telling me i'd been scammed by someone else, and that they, the scammer/banker, would cancel the fraudulent transactions made in my name as soon as i gave them a bit of information to confirm my identity.

the second guy called me from my local bank branch's number and told me "someone in another city is attempting to make purchases with your debit card information" and after i expressed obvious distress he told me "don't worry, this is what i'm here for. we're going to get your cards/accounts cancelled/closed and then we'll all i need you to do is verify the 6-digit code that i've sent to your phone"

that 6-digit code was the code to reset my online banking password 🙃 which i didn't realize at the time. he then got into my online banking account and e-transferred himself $2,800. my bank reclaimed the money but i had to close my bank accounts, then open new bank accounts, cancel my debit and credit cards, get new debit and credit cards, alert two credit unions that i was a victim of fraud, change all my fucking passwords, etc etc

sorry if this shit is obvious to other people but it was not to me so:

if someone calls you, claiming to be from your bank telling you that there are suspicious charges on your account, hang up on them and call the number on the back of your debit card. worst case scenario, you hung up on someone and called a different person back but at least now you know you're talking to someone from the bank. best case scenario, you just hung up on a scammer and are already on the line with someone to report it.

keep your head on a fucking swivel out there

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devo voice: AMBÄÉÎR