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U.S. conservatives always talk about creating jobs but get SO MAD whenever anyone mentions banning prison labor like imagine the insane ammout of jobs that would be created literally overnight if companies in your country had to actually employ people instead of using slave labor from people that got caught with weed 10 years ago.

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thank you to the dishonest failing new york times for constantly erasing us and purposefully obscuring jewish participation in these protests just to make people less sympathetic to the movement opposing an ongoing genocide

btw you can see all the edits nyt makes to their article titles on this twitter account

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Case in point: we began Descendants 2 tonight and had to stop exactly an hour in for Bed Time, but our call lasted 2 hours

Hi there! @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I are back on our bullshit with some unhinged movie-night quotes, this time with the first Descendants film. Previously, we've had some shit to say about Rise of the Pink Ladies and Julie and the Phantoms. This is the first actual movie we've watched for these movie-night quotes, so it's a long one. Buckle up, and enjoy the ride!

Bee: "Elected king"? That's not how democracy works.

Bee: How is he inheriting the crown if his dad is still alive???

(Note: For those not aware, hi, I'm a costume designer and technician, I usually have Things To Say about costumes, including the following Several Minute Rant)

Me, two minutes into the movie: PAUSE, okay I have opinions here Bee: Okay? Me: Okay so this is a fitting, right? I appreciate the big stitch lengths, that's accurate, but this should be a mock-up, with muslin! Why is it made of the fashion fabric??? Bee: This is riveting

Me: Why are his sleeves finished off? Where are the pins? Is that a hand back stitch??? Bee: *cackling*

Bee: YOU CANNOT BELIEVE IN THE DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS AND DEMOCRACY

Me: Why did they give Ben a bust dart? Does he have tiddies??? Bee: TRANS BEN???

Bee: I'm gonna take a drink every time you go on a costume rant. Me: LISTEN

Bee (@Evie and Mal): So they're lesbians, right? Me: OH HO HO, YOU'D THINK SO WOULDN'T YA

Bee: You said Kenny Ortega did this, right? Me: Yep! Bee: That. SO very tracks.

Evie: *flirting* Bee: Ahhh, performative heterosexuality!

Me: Her love interest is so [HUSBAND]-coded; you're gonna lose your mind

Bee: Ah yep, Kenny Ortega choreography

Bee: IS THAT FUCKING KRISTEN CHENOWETH??? Me: YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT???

Both of us, anytime Carlos is on screen: He Baby

Bee: I bet AO3 had a field day with this franchise

Bee: Ohhhh, look at that shitty marching band, let me at 'em- NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE PLAYING THOSE INSTRUMENTS Me: *wheeze*

Bee @ Audrey: Oh THATS a lesbian Me: I COULD GO ON A RANT and I won't until we have more context!

Me: Look, Evie's love interest is a dude but I choose to believe that he's a he/him lesbian so it works

Mal: And I totally don't blame your grandparents for inviting everyone in the whole world but my mother to their stupid christening! Me: Look, christenings were public events! They had to go out of their way to tell Maleficent not to come! Bee: Right! Like it was more work to have someone find her to tell her not to come! She would've stayed away if you just kept your mouths shut! Me: Not to victim blame, but don't fuck with the fae if you don't want the fae to fuck with you Bee: No I'm victim blaming in this one instance, that was fucking stupid

Doug: Hi-ho... Bee: Oh god he is [HUSBAND]-coded

Carlos: Die, suckers! Me: Let Carlos say fuck! Bee: He would say it constantly

Jay: *ninja kick through the door* Bee: Dumbass

Carlos: *trying to help Jay up* Me: *sobbing* He baby!!! Bee: He wants to help his brother!!!

Bee, already tipsy: I think every time we say "he baby" I need to drink water

Me: Hnng I remember being obsessed with Mal's outfits as a 14yo but looking at it now as a costume designer, I can't tell if I still love it or if I kinda hate it. Bee: Lemme take a drink and you elaborate. Me: There's something kinda off-putting about it and I can't tell if it's because it reeks of 2015 Disney Channel-which is not a bad thing!-or if I just don't think the design works. Bee: It looks like they were going for scene but didn't really know what scene was

Me: I think we should also take a drink whenever we say "that's gay"

Both: STOP BEING MEAN TO JANE SHE'S SO CUTE

Ben: *trying to convince Carlos Dude won't hurt him* Me: For the trans!Ben headcanon, I know that's just a weird fuckin' seam on his shirt, but it looks like a binder

Honorable mention: Us constantly screaming at evie that she's allowed to be smart

Bee: Hey, [HUSBAND], Wanna come see a character that's you coded???

Evie: *making clothes* Me: THAT SEWING MACHINE IS SEXY

Me @ Lonnie: I wouldn't call that cool hair Bee: Oh now she's cool, she ripped her skirt

Mal: I think it's time Benny Boo got himself a new girlfriend Bee: Girl he is right behind that door

Mal: *wipes Lonnie's tear* Bee: LOOK AT HER FACE, see that? That was a gay awakening

Me during Did I Mention: Guess what Bee: Huh? Me: That's not him singing Bee: *gasp* They Troy Bolton'ed that man

Bee: There are. Not enough trumpets in this band Me: Nerd

Talking about the Maleficent movie and how I've never seen it Bee: Oh god, you would've been like. Me: Or 13 depending on the time of year! Bee: It came out in May Me: ...Okay yeah I would've been 12 Bee: I can do math! [HUSBAND], distantly: Citation needed! Bee: HEY!!!

Ben: Is this your first time? Bee: HUH???

Me: What was he trying to accomplish here? Like he didn't tell her they were going somewhere they might need swimsuits, was he trying to get her in her underwear??? Bee: If it wasn't a Disney movie I'd say yes Me: Horny teenage boy

Ben: *shirtless on the cliff* Me: Good for him, he's had top surgery since the last scene

Maleficent: Still doing tricks with eggplants? Bee: Idk, ask her husband

After the cover of Be Our Guest Bee: What. Was that. Me: I know Bee: That was so bad! Me: I promise the other covers are better

Me: I hate Mal's costume in this scene Bee: Drink! Me: The purple on her blazer matches too perfectly with her hair, there's no break in the silhouette Bee: Oh yeah, I see what you mean Me: I get what they're trying to do with the lighter palette, but I'd swap the blue and purple, personally

Queen Leah: My daughter was raised by fairies Me: That was your own fault Bee: Nowhere in that curse did it say you couldn't raise her

Insert the TEN MINUTE interlude of me dying over the obscene fit of Ben's suit:

(Please note: A) his jacket sleeve is caught on his elbow, which is what's causing that FOUR INCH exposed sleeve, B) who wears a pocket square and no tie? C) the buttons are STRAINING because the suit hasn't been tailored properly, it's way too small, you're the future king and I expect better from you okay you CANONICALLY have people tailoring your clothes, and while we're on buttons, D) NEVER button both buttons on a suit jacket! If the jacket has two buttons, the top is buttoned and the bottom isn't. If it's three, top is button sometimes, middle is always buttoned, and the bottom is never. Also: Unbutton when sitting or doing physical activity, such as croquet. This has been Levi's useless button PSA)

Honorable mention: I showed my mentor this picture the next day and he gasped like he'd been shot

Jane: He's never gonna make a villain a queen Me: WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU! Bee: WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!

Me: she's not ugly, she just has a fuck ass bob

Bee @ Beast: Oh why'd they give him glasses, now he's hot

Mal: How do you know that?? Ben: because I'm listening to my heart! Bee: Gay Mal: I'm listening to mine too Bee: DOUBLE gay

Bee: I love how you can soo very see all these frozen people moving

Maleficent: *Dragon Time (tm)* Bee: FOUND THE BUDGET

Jane: Guess I did get pretty lucky in the mother department Me: Speaking of mothers can someone please catch the lizard Bee: PLEASE

Side note, my internet was wigging out and the stream kept freezing, particularly during Set It Off Me, struggling with the connection: And what if I cry Bee: Limping toward the finish line Me: What if I cry and commit arson

Mal: You didn't think that was the end of the story, did you? Bee: Well that was fucking ominous

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They. They forgor

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friday night in your 20s be like: making some pasta. i need to rollover my 401k. when i was a kid i assumed i'd be married by now. does my new fake plant look classy. i think i have a yeast infection. do my cats understand me. ran out of capri sun. i should do laundry. and then you don't do laundry

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Isnt it weird that hotel rooms provide toilet paper, tissues, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and ive even seen some provide make removal wipes, but I’ve never seen a single one provide pads or tampons?

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Not pictured: me, yanking the steering wheel to screech into a parking lot so I could take a pic of this while my sisters and I absolutely lost it upon seeing this truck

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I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but intrusive thoughts are basically your brain’s (sometimes very upsetting) way of saying “If there were two guys on the moon and one of them killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what?”

I’ve personally found that adding the “would that be fucked or what?” part in myself really helps put the more disturbing thoughts we sometimes get into perspective. Helps me say “yeah thar sure would be fucked up” and move on with my day.

It’s not not a secret desire, it’s not something that only occurs to you because you’re a bad person. It’s just your brain deciding to process the fact that it knows an uncomfortable thing exists in the world by feeding it to you in an absurd “what if” with you as the main character.

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The building of rage

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