nerophine

[nerophine]

I have some news for members of the united states armed forces who feel like they are pawns in a political game and their assignments being unnecessary.

[nerophine]

Dumbass RPG character idea:

A roguishly handsome adventurer who otherwise doesn't seem to much care for maintaining his rugged good looks, but is comically particular of his iconic ridiculous hat, which he never takes off. Like, ever. He sleeps with the hat tilted over his eyes, won't remove it indoors even at a dining table, bathes while wearing it. Nobody wants to know how the hell he washes his hair. Telling him to remove the hat is an absolute dealbreaker - if any place demands that he removes the hat before stepping inside, he'll rather wait outside by the door while the rest of the party does their business inside. It's obnoxious but what are you gonna do.

Then, when trapped in a situation where the party must either sacrifice one of its members or all will die, the guy volunteers, on one condition: the party must take his precious hat, and give it to someone worthy. Ideally someone spectacularly handsome who will look good in it, but he'd rather have anyone at all wear it, than nobody at all. Nobody in the party, though - none of them are allowed to wear his hat. Baffled but grateful, the party agrees to his conditions.

Some time later, once the rest of the party has escaped, they slap the hat on the first person they encounter and deem sufficiently fitting. The person freezes in shock, blinks twice, and suddenly shifts their stance to a familiar posture, sighing "oh thank the gods, you actually fucking did it", in a new voice but a familiar style and intonation. The character was never The Guy, it's a demon bound to the hat, who possesses whoever is wearing the garment.

[nerophine]

There’s one guy in Columbus Ohio that has a completely unique strain of Covid that we only know about because of how much he is shitting and it is baffling researchers.

His identity is a mystery but they know where commutes to because his shits turn up there too.

[nerophine]

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

[nerophine]

[nerophine]

[nerophine]

[nerophine]

when i look up a knitting term, the last thing I want is an ai overview. I want a 60+ year old woman with no understanding of lighting or helpful camera angles who still manages to give the most concise and clear explanation of how to execute purl 2tog through the backloop. ai summary fuck off, where is phyllis?

[nerophine]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

[nerophine]

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

[nerophine]

This is YOUR SIGN to empty out your toaster's crumb tray and your dryer's lint catcher

Don't dally!!!!!!

[nerophine]

"I know chatgpt is bad but you just don't really have any choice" you literally do. Don't use it. Have some moral backbone.

[nerophine]

[nerophine]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[nerophine]

[nerophine]

i bet count von count has killer fuckin music taste

[nerophine]

One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.

(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)

This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”

Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”

It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)