nessforevermore-blog

[nessforevermore-blog]

Dearest mummy, I expect this email to be delayed for three days, I'm sorry if it's longer. Thirty six hours would be ideal but the minimum with the software I'm using is three days. Please don't memorialize my Facebook account. You won't be able to log in anymore, and you might find some comfort in exploring my private messages over the years and my activity log with so many of my comments in so many groups. My login info is rueroberts@gmail.com | Xlove8love). If it does accidentally get memorialized, I downloaded a copy of all of my private messages. A list of most of my other internet accounts can be found in the passwords section of Safari settings on my Mac; the passwords there will be just strings of dots but if you care to you'll be able to change the password with my email and phone number and get in. To save you time, most of my passwords are Niveous717, Rueistheprettiest1!, or Xlove8love). My phone password is Ness; my Mac's is Niveous717. Please put the Facebook posts most reflective of me on a Tumblr (you can use my rue@ramblingrue.com Tumblr account), with the domain name rueroberts.com. Remember to ask Yamnuska for the ski lift refund for 103.95- I never cashed the check they gave me. Also try to hound Trekkinn for a refund for the mountaineering boots- you can look through rue@ramblingrue.com for order confirmations- the package was returned by the central DHL office in Calgary so they might give you an affidavit if necessary. If they give you a refund in time, make sure to spend it quickly before my bank closes my account in late April. My card's pin is 1221, and the same for the Simple app on my phone. You may as well return the compass and sunglasses on the passenger's seat to Valhalla Pure in Canmore; easy hundred dollars, and if it's worth the time to you, you could ask Apple Music, Netflix, and Humbled Females to refund my membership dues that went through today. I wasn't sure what to do with the car keys- if I left them on the tires or something, they might be lost if the car was towed; on the other hand if I brought them with me, they might be stolen by a hiker turned premature graverobber or lost if I undress when my surface arteries dilate after the blood flow restriction to extremities collapses. In the end I decided to tie them to my avalanche beacon which I'll hide near me; the first responders will be able to find it easily enough if you remind them to check for it, but I don't think any potential thieves would think to switch their beacons to search with no sign of an avalanche. I'll put fresh batteries in, so I should be found long before they run out. They'll find an alcohol bottle near my body, to help ease my trickling; I did not drink any while deciding or planning my death, nor for weeks preceding; only when I settled in to go to sleep for the last time. I did this with a clear head, heart, and conscience. Feel free to use my touring setup; the bindings are easily adjustible for your size. They're a little wide for New England and a little long for you, but so versatile they'll still be fine for a great skier like you. The skins can be cleaned and reglued for $50 at Gear Up in Canmore; you should probably do that whether you plan to use them or sell them. The missing buckles on my ski boots are somewhere around the car, one or another of the glove compartments I think, and brand new liners are in the jack storage compartment as long as mice didn't get to them; they should sell for a few hundred tidied up as so. If you wash my sleeping bag to sell it, be sure to hand wash it with special down soap from Valhalla Pure or the like, then tumble dry it without heat with a few tennis balls to get the loft back; it will take several dryer runs to dry. The rose iPhone cord is broken but has a three year warrantee with Source; go in with my name and tell them my zipcode is VOE 2S0 and they should replace it. The big blue backpack and yellow avalanche shovel and black nylon compression sack and grey tent pole sack and thermarest sleeping pad belong to Yamnuska and they'd doubtless appreciate them back. Feel free to do with my other possessions as you will; I have nothing of any sentimental nature that isn't in text form on my devices or internet accounts, but you might think differently. I don't want to try to give my exact location in case I change my mind at the last moment and the info becomes misleading, but I'm somewhere near Jasper, AB, within hiking or skiing distance of our car. I hope you enjoy driving up the Icefields Parkway if you end up coming to Jasper to handle matters; it's such a special place. I don't want you to miss your seminar, so I've delayed this email for three days; that should be enough time and hopefully you won't need more than a couple days here; I think whoever handles the response will find me very quickly what with tracks in the snow and dogs and so on. I thought of dripping a little urine along the way to help them, but I thought better of insulting their abilities like that. I won't presume to tell you how to handle my remains, do what feels right to you, but please don't entomb me in concrete. I would so prefer something that doesn't delay my flow in the ecological cycle ; if you end up planting a tree in my remains with one of the companies that specialize in that or by yourself, I love Tilia. I love the fullness of the leaves and the subtlety and delicate grace of the flowers. Your bees would love it too if you ever pick up beekeeping. I love the thought of you being out in your garden with me; you could talk to me and sing to me and tell me all the things you would have said if we'd had more time. I love you, I'll be with you always... wherever the darkness, the empty pools. Please know I died with relief in my heart, that that that represents me truly does now, that my body and the upper reaches of my mind no more betray my intentions, namely none, that I no longer bely my innocence through the conditional love required of me as a limited actor. Please don't blame yourself; I've been circling like a spiraling eddy around the echelons of death for so many years now, and I'm so so grateful to reach the completion of my little tale. I'm too rarefied, too idealistic, too delicate for this world, but not for your heart from whence I came. I will always be with you. Your adoring ruelet, Rue