Nessian please I need you to fluffNestaArcheronDefenceSquad
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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I really needed this ngl Love you all, any other bi people please hit me up I'm lonely
reblog if your blog is actually safe for bi people.
reblog if you believe bi people deserve to have a space and voice.
reblog if you recognize the specific struggles that bi people go through.
reblog if you know bi people are more than âhalf gay, half straightâ.
reblog if you believe bi rights and representation arenât just âcatering to straight people.â
reblog if you see us.
reblog if you know we are safe on your blog.
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Jealousy {Nessian}
An ACOTAR fanfiction. Nesta + Cassian.
Summary: Nesta and Cassian get close on Starfall. Based off a prompt sent in by a lovely anon.Â
A/N: Iâm trying to add a sprinkle of fluff into my angsty blog. Short and sweet. I hope you like it. :)
Cassian
Jealousy is a wicked bitch.
It creeps up under your skin, makes you say and want things you typically wouldnât. It forces your vision to turn red, forces an obnoxious pounding to drown out everything else within earshot.
I am not a jealous being.
I never have been, have always been confident in myself as a male. I have slain and loved and fucked and lived more than most, a fact I would have never guessed for myself in my younger years.
A fact I canât say that I dislike.
I have never wanted something that I couldnât have.
Not until the gods, in some cruel twist of fate, granted me a mate who could make my soul shatter into a thousand pieces and have me crawling on my knees, begging for her eyes to simply connect with my own. Â
Itâs Starfall, the only night that everyone in Velaris stops and stares at the sky, waiting to see the spirits pass by in all their beauty.
As they fly by the balcony, all I can see is her.
Rhysand and Ferye have thrown a Ball, a celebration for all our city has accomplished and overcome within recent years. Although the sentiment is lovely, it causes the citizens of our fine city to wander in with questions.
Questions for all of us.
Questions for Nesta.
Heâs a tall male, maybe a few inches shorter than myself. His dark, auburn hair is neatly brushed back, his back tall and his chin high. Heâs standing too close to her, his hands lingering too casually at his sides.
Nesta is smiling, politely, as he tells her whatever interesting tale that has captured her attention.
I make myself stand still, make myself keep my distance. I linger in the doorway, but my eyes cannot stray from his hands, from her smile, from the way heâs watching her.
I stand on guard.
Nesta can take care of herself. I wouldnât be surprised if she could crush a manâs manhood with nothing more than a glare. Yet, as her mate, I standby, just in case.
The male takes a step closer to Nesta, and my shoulders tense.
As do hers.
I begin to walk and curse myself with every step I take. She hears me approach, I can tell. She glances gingerly over her shoulder, her shoulder that has become stiff.
I clear my throat. âExcuse me,â I say, and leave it at that because I canât say anything more without going off on a rant. My tone speaks of anything but peace.
The male looks at me, his blue eyes wide. âOf course. Have a good evening, Nesta.â
He leaves, and while he walks away, her eyes are connected with mine - narrowed.
âPut up your shield,â she snaps. âI can hear you, and you are sounding awfully pathetic at the moment.â
My shield.
Iâm not used to it yet, not used to my mind not being mine alone.
Her words are short, clipped, her eyes yearning to ignite me.
âHe was putting you in danger,â I say.
Apparently itâs the wrong thing, but it deserves a laugh. âDanger? Having pleasant conversation with an intelligent male is now considered dangerous?â
Before I can reply, she turns her back to me, her skirts swishing as she turns the corner to walk inside.
My wings droop as I follow, much to her protests.
âArenât you supposed to be enjoying the party?â she asks, as she turns down a deserted corridor. âWatching women flutter their eyelashes your way?â
âAre you jealous, Nesta Archeron?â I ask, and she barks a laugh.
âAsks the bat who just interrupted my conversation with a harmless, kind man,â she replies.
âWell, I am your mate,â I say, as if it is the ultimate answer.
âMy mate, Cassian, not my guard,â she says, eyes lit with fury as she turns to face me. âIf he was harmful, which he wasnât, I have more than enough power to hold my own.â
I watch her, my eyes trailing from hers to her lips to her jawline. âI canât control it.â
âYou can control whatever you want.â
âThe thoughts. I canât control them.â
She wants to say more, I can sense it, but she doesnât. She gives me a curt nod before turning on her heels and continuing down the hallway.
Ignoring my fake protests, my polished boots follow. âWhere are you going?â
âAway,â she replies.
âFrom me?â I ask. âOr the party?â
She stops and peeks over her shoulder. âDoes it matter? Either way, youâre going to follow me.â
I chuckle. âIf you want me to leave, I will. I may be persistent but Iâm not a monster.â
âI beg to differ,â she says. Then, she looks away. âIâm going to the roof. You may join.â
For Nesta, thatâs a hell of an invitation.
I follow her to the roof although she acts like Iâm not present. The stairs creak, the sound of her heels clicking swiftly along the hardwood.
I feel something shoot through the bond.
Longing. Want. Curiosity. Thanks.
Nesta often has her guard up, but every now and then, she gives me a glimpse of the woman who lies beneath.
Emotional. Damaged. Vulnerable. Broken.
In need of something greater than the cold facade she puts on for the rest of the world.
The sky is lit with beauty as we reach the rooftop, and Nesta stands beneath it all in wonder.
âThis is my favorite night of the year,â she says.
âYeah?â I ask. âWhy?â
She stays silent for a long while before admitting, âIt looks like magic.â
Magic.
A concept that has always been a part of my life. I have never known a life without magic, without those who harvest outrageous abilities. But she was human. ThisâŚ.this is magic in the eyes of a mortal.
Even if they are no longer mortal.
âIâm getting used to it,â she says, and she doesnât have to say what it refers to.
âYouâre finding peace,â I say, and I mean it as a question although it doesnât sound like one.
She gives me a curt nod.
I take a step closer.
She doesnât take a step away.
Youâve helped, I hear through the bond, although I act like I donât.
I wouldnât say it aloud, announce it. It would only make her uncomfortable. It would only make her flee.
Instead, I reach up with scarred fingers and brush a fallen lock of hair from her eyes.
Her lips part, slightly, and I lift my brow in question.
She doesnât say yes.
She doesnât say no.
Instead, she closes her eyes beneath the shooting stars, beneath the souls of those on a journey to another life.Â
My lips press gently to hers, and the intensity that fills my core amazes me.
This woman.
This goddess.
This ethereal beast that came to war with the Cauldron and won.
My mate.
My Nesta.
Jealousy is a wicked bitch.
It makes you say and want things you typically wouldnât, but I always want her.
She is my mate.
The other part of my soul.
And I would face jealousy a thousand times for her, if only it would end in moments like this.
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Capricorn, Hades
reblog with your sign and your godly parent
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PLEASE REBLOG AND DO WHAT YOU CAN.Â
MARCH, SIGN PETITIONS, WALK TO WORK, SPREAD THE WORD.Â
WHEN ADULTS COMPLAIN WE CAMPAIGN.Â




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Only Us
They had been sneaking away together for almost a year. Their relationship was a secret between the two of them that flickered in their eyes each time they bickered over long-worn out topics at family dinners.Â
Feyre and Rhys were out âtouring the cityâ, whatever that meant, whilst Elain and Azriel were on yet another date, Mor was out partying and Amren was probably in the attic she calls home. Perfect.Â
âCass!â, Nesta called from down the stairs-Â âTheyâre gone!â
His bare feet couldnât have moved any faster as he ran down the stairs two at a time- practically jumping the last five.Â
âFinally, what took them so long?â He murmured as he brought his head down to her neck- leaving small kisses from her collarbone to her lips.Â
She smiled and replied, âI think if they knew what we were planning to do they would leave much quicker.â before reaching for the buttons on his tunic.Â
Their lips moved together in perfect synchrony until, and even after, they reached the dinner table where Nesta straddled him- covering her body with his just like that terrible moment all those months ago.
âYouâre never wrong, Nes.â Cassian murmured back, against her skin.
#nessian#nesta archeron#cassian#NestaDefenceSquad#nestaarcheronwillkillme#blurting#randomly wrote this#thought it might turn into something#it didnt
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PSA !!
hey yaâll so ramadan is coming up, and it would be so amazing if you could all start tagging your:
food
nudity
swearing
astrology
porn etc
with #nsfr (not safe for ramadan) as these images make the month so much harder for us. this would benefit all your muslim followers so much !!
pls spread the word x
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Conversation
2am Nessian
*2am*
Cassian: love is like a fart
Nesta: ...?
Cassian: if you have to force it, its probably shit
Nesta: why did i even marry you
Cassian: because im right
Nesta: *rolls eyes*
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@emmmmszy
Shout out to @emmmmszy for spamming me with love!Â
Thank you so much! xX
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Know their names and their stories.
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THIS IS EVERYTHING


Uhmmm I did a thing? I hope it turns out alright.. đł Nesta and Cassian Instagram Aesthetic
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Iâm Not Dead
Hiya again, remember me?Â
So yeah I bet you probably didnât even notice I was gone but I just want to let you know that Iâm fine and Iâm back. I took a brief break because...
1. Tumblr was kindof taking over my life.Â
2. I moved house.Â
3. Exams.Â
So yeah, here I am. I should be regularly uploading again- I canât wait to continue Empires Fall- and if I donât feel free to @ me telling me to get my life together.Â
Thanks xX
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Elizabeth gillies is my Nesta
Her 2016 vibe definitely!
Iâm not sure about her though, Iâve not seen much of her work but from a first glance Iâd say she has a good shot at it. xX
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Empires Fall- Saviour, Captor. Whatâs the difference?
Cassian hated himself for caring. Hated himself for thinking he hated himself for caring. He should care, it was right and noble. He should. It was difficult though, a torment to which he was unfamiliar with his past lovers. He suspected it was the cauldronâs bidding but would never voice the thought.
His chest felt as though it was concaving when he heard no frustrated reply to his frantic calling of her name.
It had been three days since his last visit, almost immediately after he had broken the news to Nesta about her new lodgings. Three days which were spent contemplating asking the Inner Circle if they might reconsider. It felt so wrong, so wrong to be wrenching her away from what little life she had created for herself.
This is the way he saw it: everyone has their own way of coping. Rhys and the others should know that, they should recognise trauma when they see it and try to help her through it personally. A detox only works for so long.
So, he stood before the bolted door of Nestaâs shack. Breaking the door down seemed extreme but what if sheâd hurt herself? As selfish as it was he decided he couldnât handle the eternal guilt.
The door came crashing down the moment his shoulder hit it.
He called her name. His reply came in the form of a squeak and a scuttle. Rats. He should never have let it get to this.
Again âNestaâ sounded throughout the building, each syllable more frantic than the last.
The realisation hit him like a blast from Hybern. She was gone. Nesta had left him.
...
He spent little time debating whether or not to report back to Rhys because his wings took flight before his brain really even engaged- another nudge from the cauldron no doubt.
He flew throughout Velaris, stopping at each tavern and asking drunken dwellers when the last time they saw her was. Most said just over three days ago. The panic rose within him so it was quite literally impossible for him to stand still.
There would not be a repeat of Hybern. Never, he promised himself- promised her. His nerves itched at him, sending a shiver down his back until his wings twitched. He had to search everywhere. Every nook of every court.
Cassian took flight once more, his only comfort that Nesta was stubborn enough that she wouldnât do anything she didnât want to.
âŚ
After two days of scouring the whole of Prythian, two days of continuous flying with no reward, he began to feel the ache and otherwise imperceptible muscle spasms in his wings.
He could not give up, he would check each court again- maybe she was still on the move.
It was true agony unlike any other to not know where she was. His wings cursed her name whilst his heart sang it- casting it out as a beacon.
As he flew over the seas which connected the Summer mountain range to the Winter coast a more notable spasm occured in his right wing. Then a tendon near his back. Involuntarily he dipped down sharply, recovering only seven feet from the surface of the water.
Adrenaline allowed him to regain a little height before the next wave of spasms. In both wings this time.
One moment he was struggling to right himself, the next he was plummeting into the obsidian depths beneath him.
Only he wasnât.
He should have been. He should be dead by now really, frozen or drowned. But he wasnât.
He was suspended in the air, a half foot away from the nipping sea. He seemed to be resting on a crimson-tinted raincloud.
Cassian looked around him tentatively, afraid to scare off the magic suspending him. He saw an island in the distance, getting bigger every second.
Or ever closer. Yes, he was moving towards it. Was he being kidnapped? He tried to remain alert, his heart beating at ten times its normal rate. Perhaps his captors would be the same as Nestaâs? He knew he was clutching at straws but it was all he could do to stay focused and conscious.
Tendrils of the blue-red smoke indruded, seemingly examining his wings. They had a frantic energy, only resting when they snaked around his wrists and feet.
The cloud he rested on came to the coast of the island, tipping him abruptly onto the muddy edge. He landed so that his wing was bent under him and a hiss escaped his throat. Those wisps rushed to him again before being seemingly yanked backwards as if on a leesh.
Cassian lifted his head to survey the grounds of his captor and came face to face with a small emerald pair of eyes. He surveyed the rest of its form with disbelief. It had sap green skin which seemed to be the texture of leather and was that a mushroom growing out of its shoulder? He was torn between awe and terror. It was grotesque in an ordinary sense but was truly remarkable to any other mindset.
âI am Lord of Bloodshed, Commander of the Night Courtâs Armies. You are?â He tried to engage conversation, maybe this was a misunderstanding.
Whatever response he thought he might get went out the window when the cold voice of his true captor answered.
âHow dare you overestimate our hospitality by questioning my court when they chose to save you from a fate much like the one from which you failed to protect their queen?â
Nesta.Â
Tag list:
@saltydreamcollector @starlightheir @dreaming-of-bohemian-nights @firemadeofgirl @sannelovesreading @blackfyrres @my-fan-side @elle-crys @rairrai @acotar-feels @nestacherons @crimziedrawings @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @shimmerglimmerandsparkle
(if i missed you please let me know)
#nessian#nesta archeron#cassian#never really written in cassians perspective before#I think I did ok?#I thought id redeem him a bit#nesta#cass is great#please let this become cannon#sarah j maas#sjm#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#Empires Fall#nesta archeron will kill me#NestaDefenceSquad
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Under Your Spell - Nessian at Hogwarts AU Fanfic
TITILE: Under Your Spell SYNOPSIS: Hogwarts AU. One could say Cassian, a Gryffindor, has had an obsession with Nesta Archeron, a Slytherin, since their fourth year at Hogwarts. But as they enter their seventh and final year, Cassian realizes he has feelings for her and is determined to ask her out on a date before he runs out of time. He can only hope sheâll agree to go out with him, considering theyâve spent the past few years bickering at each other. RATING: T FIC LENGTH: oneshot, 15K+ words SLIGHT WARNING: Tomas makes an appearance in this story, but when Nesta tells him to stop kissing and touching her, he doesâŚheâs just a royal jerk about it. *This fic is also posted on AO3 and FF. A/N: I was in the midst of drafting a post-ACOFAS Nessian multi-chapter fic when I got a bit of writerâs block, then had read a tumblr post about what Hogwarts houses would the ACOTAR characters be in. A plot bunny was then born and I had to write this (despite not being one for AUs reallyâŚ) because the thought of Nesta and Cassian at Hogwarts was SO CUTE to me!I just figured this oneshot would be around 5K words and not 15K words (!!!). I hope you enjoy it!
TAGGING some folks who have expressed interest in reading my Nessian fics in the past/Nessian-related blogs that may want to reblog :) (but I understand if a Hogwarts AU is not your thing!): @dreaming-of-bohemian-nights @queenofillea1@trash-for-nessian @nestaarcheronwillkillme @my-fan-side @strangeenemy @maastrash @cageddovepoetry
One could say Cassian has had an obsession with Nesta Archeron since their fourth year at Hogwarts.
As a Gryffindor, he didnât pay Nesta much attention before then. She was a Slytherin after all. They surely had classes together, but he typically only hung around with his best friends, fellow Gryffindors Rhysand and Azriel.
But in their fourth year, during a Potions class, Cassian had his first significant interaction with Nesta.
Each student had been required to make a boil cure potion. Cassian had failed to make the potion correctly at first, having added snails instead of horned slugs to his concoction. So toward the end of class, he had to start the potion off from scratch and hurriedly put it together. In his rush, he had plopped the horned slugs into his brew, which happened to splash the unfinished potion onto Nestaâs arm as she walked by. Soon, big, red, pus-filled boils began to form not only on her arm but all over her body as she gave him the most horrifying glare that felt like it pierced his very soul. Then, in a bold move, she reached for the spoon beside him, stuck it into his brew, and purposefully splashed him back. Instantly, the boils covered his own body as he scowled at her.
The two of them had been sent to the hospital wing, where they were placed in beds next to each other. Despite his apology for accidentally splashing her, Nesta sent insults his way the entire afternoon, and Cassian felt compelled to fire back at her.
And ever since that day, theyâve always bickered at and teased each other.
At first, Cassian was truly annoyed with her whenever he saw her. But at some point over the years, he began seeking her out to playfully tease her because he grew to enjoy their interactions.
He wasnât sure what it was about her. He simply felt drawn to her. Perhaps it was her boldness. Perhaps it was because she didnât fawn over him and his friends like the other girls at Hogwarts did. Or maybe it was because she could verbally spar with him.
âŚAs well as hold her own in a physical spar with him. In their fifth year, they had to duel each other in a Defense Against the Dark Arts class (using non-injurious spells, of course). With every spell he shot at her, she was always ready to shield herself and shoot one back. Neither of them were able to disarm the other, resulting in a tie.
Not only was she strong in intelligence and her fight, but she was beautiful. Cassian could never ignore that fact. From her high cheekbones to her luscious lips to the wicked amusement that would sometimes flicker in her smoky gray eyesâŚeverything about her physique was alluring.
In fact, it was those captivating eyes of hers that had him beginning to question if he actually had feelings for her. Towards the end of their sixth year, he had been caught after curfew snogging with Hufflepuff Holly Langforden in a broom closet by Nesta. Upon finding them both with tousled hair and disheveled clothes, Nestaâs beautiful eyes widened in shock, then narrowed in irritation as, ever the prefect, she announced she was deducting ten points from both Gryffindor and Hufflepuff before angrily ordering them to return to their dormitories.
And yet, seeing Nestaâs shocked and fury-filled eyes had made him feelâŚguilty. If it was any other prefect who had caught them, he wouldnât have felt bad at all. In fact, heâd been caught snogging other girls in broom closets multiple times since his fifth year, and it never bothered him one bit to be breaking the rules. It only bothered him that he couldnât snog the girls a little while longer.
But Nesta finding himâŚhad brought a weird feeling to his stomach. He didnât cheerfully return to his dormitory afterwards as he usually would have done, having just made out with a girl. Instead, he walked at a slow pace, head cast down, with his hands in his pockets as he contemplated that strange feeling.
It was as though he felt sorry Nesta had caught him with someone else. That he regretted it instantly upon seeing Nesta open the door.
That he perhaps wished it was her he was actually snogging, untangling the crown braid around her head as he did so.
But he was quick to push that thought away. It had nearly been the summer anyway, and he had been certain he would soon forget all about her.
Well, he went off to Rhysâ home for the summerâŚand couldnât forget about her.
All he could seem to think about was her.
The sight of books sprawled about Rhysâ home made him think of all the times heâd seen Nesta at the library. Rhysâ motherâs garden of various flowers had him remembering the one time he witnessed her sister placing flowers within Nestaâs hair as they sat beside the Great Lake. The grayness of the sky on stormy days reminded him of her eyes. Â Even in the simple, silly things such as noticing the contrast of silverware at dinner against a green tablecloth brought his favorite Slytherin to mind.
He missed bickering with her. He missed her witty comebacks and her clever insults.
He just missed her.
And that was when he knew that he had to ask her out this year - their final year at Hogwarts. Before they went off to pursue their careers, he had to figure out whatever this thing with Nesta wasâŚand if it was something that could last longer than their time at Hogwarts.
As he boarded the Hogwarts Express, with Rhys and Az following behind him, he searched for a compartment for them to sit. Theyâd been running pretty late, as usual, and most of the compartments were already full.
But towards the back, upon popping his head in one compartment, Cassian was delighted to find Nestaâs two sistersâŚwith an empty spot next to them that would likely be filled by her.
And space to fit three more passengers across from them.
Cassianâs face beamed, and he felt his heart race as he asked, âMind if we join you ladies?â
âOh, please do,â Elain said sweetly with a kind smile, while Feyre nodded in agreement.
Cassian nodded in thanks to them. He had only ever had very brief interactions with Elain. She was a sixth-year Hufflepuff, and he didnât see her often. He knew Feyre only slightly better since she was a fellow housemate, just two years younger than him.
Rhys and Az followed behind him into the compartment, and he could see the faces of Elain and Feyre brighten as everyone greeted each other.
Cassian plopped down in the seat across from the empty one he had assumed Nesta would soon fill. His heart began to pound at the prospect of seeing her after such a long summer without her.
A summer of dreaming about her and hoping he could go out with her.
Elain seemed to catch him looking at the empty space beside her. âNestaâs in the prefectâs compartment, but she usually stops by to see us.â
Cassian hoped his disappointment didnât show on his face. The prefectâs compartmentâŚhe had completely forgotten about the special perks of being a prefect.
But that also meant that as a prefect, she would have to patrol the trainâs corridor at some point today. The thought brought a slight grin to his face. He could just makeâŚperiodic visits to the bathroom, maybe linger a bit in the train corridor, with the hope of seeing Nesta.
So for the following six hours aboard the train, thatâs what he did. At the top of each hour, heâd make a leisurely walk to and from the bathroomâŚand sometimes get scolded by a prefect who wasnât Nesta.
At one point, Rhys and Az thought something was wrong with him for having to go to the bathroom so many times. Not wanting to admit his true intentions in front of Nestaâs sisters, he simply insisted he was bored of just sitting around and needed to keep moving.
But now he was actually bored of pretending to go to the bathroom with no success of seeing Nesta. Cassian sighed as he stared out the glass window and watched the green scenery roll by as dusk fell. Rhys and Az were still in casual conversation with Feyre and ElainâŚbut Cassianâs anxiousness over seeing Nesta prevented him from paying any attention to them.
Cassian glanced down at his watch. It was nearly an hour since he last left the compartment and probably about two hours until they reached Hogwarts. He supposed he could go ahead and change into his robes now before the mad dash of students going to the bathroom.
Grabbing his robes from his suitcase and stepping out of the compartment, he slowly turned his head from the left to the right, searching for any sign of a prefect.
And there was none. Cassian groaned before turning left and headed to the bathroom.
Once he put on his new robes, he left the bathroom and wandered down the corridor past his compartment. Every prefect had a shift to patrol the corridor. Surely, with two hours to go, Nesta would be out here.
As he casually walked along, he eventually stopped in between two compartments and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms against his chest with the clothes he had just changed out of draped over one of his arms. He might as well just wait for her to show upâŚand then she could scold him for hanging around in the passageway.
And so he waited.
And waited.
And then finallyâŚ
âGet back in your compartment!â a familiar voice reprimanded him from his right. Cassian turned up his head at her and smiled brightly. There Nesta stood, with her familiar stormy eyes and her stern expression. Her light pink lips glowed against her sun-kissed skin, and her braid crown made her seem angelic despite her irritated expression. Had she somehow become more beautiful over the summer or had he simply misremembered her beauty?
Nesta held up her wand and directed it at him.
âBut Iâm rather enjoying this view,â Cassian said with a smirk as he stared at her intently.
âGo back to your compartment and look at the scenery outside the window if youâre looking for a view,â Nesta suggested in a steely tone.
âBut this view is so much prettier,â he said, still grinning and still intently staring at her. He could count the few small freckles on her nose.
(There were seven.)
A light pink blush briefly covered Nestaâs cheeks, and upon seeing it, Cassian longed to have many opportunities where he could make her blush.
âIs that the same line you used to get Holly Langforden to jump in a broom closet with you?â Nesta asked drily.
At first, Cassian frowned. But the fact that she even remembered who she caught him in a broom closet withâŚ
âNo. But does it make you want to jump in a broom closet with me?â
âAbsolutely not,â she answered coldly. âWhy donât you go find her compartment anyway and see if that line works? Isnât she your girlfriend?â
âYou sure seem interested in my love life. Are you jealous?â he smirked at her.
âAny woman that takes your attention away from me has both my gratitude and my sympathy,â she stated snobbily.
Cassian frowned again. âWell, for your information, I broke up with her before the summer,â he replied.
âWhat a shame for me. But a relief for her at least.â
âYou know you missed me this summer, Archeron. Admit it,â he teased her, but secretly hoped she actually did miss him as much as he missed her.
âI did not miss being annoyed by you one bit. Now get back to your compartment,â Nesta prodded his upper arm with her wand, gesturing for him to get a move on.
Cassian gradually started moving, and Nesta followed him to ensure he returned to his compartment.
As Cassian slid open the door to his compartment, he heard Nesta let out a small gasp behind him.
âNesta!â Elain shouted upon seeing her behind him.
Cassian took his seat and looked back to Nesta to find her frowning more deeply at him as well as Rhys and Az.
âWhat are you doing sharing a compartment with my sisters?â she asked in an annoyed tone.
âNesta, they needed a place to sit!â Elain tried to explain, but Nesta just continued to stare intently at Cassian.
Stars, he loved her eyes even when they glowered at him.
âNes, there was nowhere else for us to sit, except for the aisle, where I wouldâve gotten run over by the trolley,â Cassian stated.
âThat sounds like it wouldâve been the perfect place for you to sit,â Nesta spat. âAnd donât call me Nes!â
âWell, maybe it wouldâve been the perfect spot because you couldâve found me in the aisle and scolded me for being there, and I couldâve seen your beautiful face much sooner,â Cassian said as he winked at her.
Elain and Feyre giggled at his comment and looked up at Nesta expectantly, wanting to see how she would respond. Rhys and Azâs eyes widened in amusement at his comment.
The seam of Nestaâs lips remained in a straight line across her face, clearly unimpressed with his reply. âYou better not have corrupted my sisters.â
âNesta!â Feyre exclaimed. âThey have done no such thing.â
âYouâve brain-washed them already, I see,â Nesta said, still not removing her eyes from Cassianâs. Feyre sighed out of frustration.
âNesta, hereâs your book. It was in my bag,â Elain said, changing the subject as she dug through her sack and pulled out a book to give to Nesta.
As Nesta accepted the book, Cassian noticed it was a Potions textbook.
And that could meanâŚ
âNesta, are you taking Potions this year?â
Nesta didnât deign to verbally respond to him. Instead, she just firmly nodded.
âPerhaps, weâll share a Potions class then,â Cassian added.Â
Nesta let out a frustrated sigh. âIâll see you two later,â Nesta said with a look to her sisters. Then turning to him, Rhy and Az, she gave them a cold look. âDonât you dare corrupt them.â
Nesta turned and left the compartment, ignoring her sistersâ protests at her statement.
Cassian could only sigh contentedly at having seen Nesta. Despite her insults, his heart was pumping wildly within him.
Heâd never had such a reaction over simply talking to a girl before.
If his summer of daydreaming of her wasnât enough, this was further proof that Nesta wasâŚdifferent. Special. Someone he wanted to spend time with and not just snog in broom closets like some of the other girls.
Cassian suddenly discovered Rhys and Az staring at him.
âWhat?â
âThat look on your faceâŚIâve never seen that look on your face before,â Rhys said.
âWhat look?â
âLike youâre hopelessly in love,â Az piped in.
Elain and Feyre squealed with delight hearing this.
Well, he wasn���t sure if he was in love with her, but he certainly wanted to get to know her better.
âAre you going to ask her out?â Elain asked excitedly.
âSoon. But please donât say anything to her,â Cassian coolly replied before turning to stare out the window, thinking about possible ideas for what he and Nesta could do for their first date.
âââââ-
It took Cassian three weeks to figure out what he and Nesta could do for their date.
The date of the first Hogsmeade trip had been announced, which was a little less than two weeks from now. It was the perfect place for a first date, considering there were plenty of shops to explore as well as places to eat together. It was an excellent opportunity for them to really get to know each other.
Now he just actually had to ask her to go with him and hope she would accept.
The two of them indeed ended up having the same Potions class, which occurred twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And every class, Cassian made sure to talk to her and always slip in some sort of comment about how beautiful she was, causing her to blush each time before she told him she had to get to working on the assigned potion and suggested he go do the same.
At least she didnât angrily tell him to go away. And to Cassian, that was progress. Perhaps she was slowly succumbing to his charm.
But today was the day he would finally ask her to go out with him.
And as luck would have it, their Potions professor announced he did not have enough ingredients for everyone to make an individual potion that day and they would all have to work with a partner instead. Typically, students worked with a fellow housemate, but this class just so happened to have an odd number of Gryffindors and an odd number of SlytherinsâŚ.
Cassian couldnât help but grin to himself as he dashed over to the table Nesta was standing at.
âNesta, will you be my partner?â Cassian asked casually.
Nesta quickly scanned the room and saw everyone else had paired off already. âWell I guess I have no other choice.â She immediately opened up the textbook to the page that listed the potion directions and began walking around the room to gather all the ingredients.
She didnât get angry or upset over being his partner.
Progress.
But nowâŚCassian had to do the actual asking her out on a date part, and that sent his heart racing.
This never happened with any of the other girls heâd asked outâŚexcept for maybe the first time he ever asked a girl out. But ever since then, asking girls out came easily to him and he never got worked up over it.
But nowâŚ
Cassian didnât understand what was wrong with him.
âWell, donât just stand there,â Nesta reprimanded him as she appeared at his side and set down a multitude of vials and jars. âBe useful.â
Cassian immediately picked up the textbook and read aloud the first instruction to her. Nesta listened to his words, picking up the jar of powdered moonstone and dumping it into the cauldron that sat on the table before them.
âWhat next?â Nesta asked.
âUh, then add three spoonfuls of honeywater,â he said a bit shakily. His nerves were getting to him.
Nesta eyed him suspiciously. âAre you sure thatâs what it says? You donât sound confident.â
He just needed to ask her out and get this over with.
âYes, three spoonfuls of honeywater,â he reiterated.
Nesta pulled the cork out of the vial of honeywater, then picked up the spoon and began pouring the honeywater onto it, hovering over the top of the cauldron before adding the first spoonful to their concoction.
âUh, NestaâŚâ Cassian began, his heart feeling like it would burst through his chest at any moment. He wondered if she could hear it.
âHmm?â Nesta was focused on putting the second spoonful into their potion and began working on the third.
âWould you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?â
Nestaâs eyes widened and she immediately looked away from her spoon to look up at him. âExcuse me?â
âWould you like to go on the Hogsmeade trip thatâs coming upâŚwith me ?â he said, not really sure what else she was looking for him to say.
âLike a date?â
âYes.â
âAre you serious?â she questioned him incredulously. âIs this some kind of joke?â
âYes, Iâm serious. No, itâs not a joke,â Cassian instantly insisted. âI honestly want to take you out on a date.â
âDarn it,â Nesta exclaimed upon realizing she had still been pouring honeywater onto the spoon, causing it to overflow and spill into their cauldron. âLook what you made me do! Now our potion will probably come out wrong,â she said in a frustrated tone as she put down the vial and the spoon. âYou and your games,â she muttered.
âNesta, Iâm sorry. This isnât a game. I truly want to go with you to Hogsmeade,â Cassian explained.
âWhy?â
âBecause I want to spend time with you.â
âWhy?â
âBecause I like you, and I want to get to know you better.â
Nestaâs eyes widened even more at his confession, and she said nothing as she fumbled around for something, anything it seemed, on the table.
âSo will you honor me with your presence and go to Hogsmeade with me?â Cassian asked again.
âI canât. Someone else already asked me to go with him,â Nesta explained softly.
Her response brought Cassian a flood of emotions. First, fury because who in the world dared to ask Nesta to Hogsmeade before him? Second, sadness because he wasnât going to be able to go to Hogsmeade with her. Third, hopeâŚbecause Nesta didnât outright deny wanting to go out with him. She simply said she could not go because of another dateâŚ
âWho?â Cassian wondered.
âTomas Mandray.â
âTomas Mandray?â Cassian exclaimed in disgust, his mouth dropping open. âThat piece of Slytherin scum?!â
âHe is not a piece of scum,â Nesta stated sternly. âAnd in case youâve forgotten, Iâm a Slytherin too.â
âI know. I didnât mean you were scumâŚjust that he himself was the Slytherin type of scum,â Cassian explained awkwardly.
Nesta simply shook her head, completely perplexed. âLetâs get back to the potion,â she said.
âWill you go out with me some other time then?â Cassian blurted out, ignoring her request.
âDid you make some bet that you could get me to go on a date with you or what?â Nesta questioned him, her voice quickly returning to its irritated tone. âOr maybe you just wanted to see if you could get my hopes up by asking me on a date and then stand me up for fun.â
âNo, Nesta,â Cassian said urgently as he put down the textbook on the table. He grabbed her hands and stared into her eyes. âThis isnât a game or a joke or a bet. I honestly want to go out with you.â
Nesta took a deep breath as she stared back at him. âI donât believe you,â she said softly.
âWhat can I do to prove it to you?â Cassian pleaded quietly.
âWell, it doesnât really matter, does it? Iâm going out with Tomas and who knowsâŚMaybe it will lead to more dates,â Nesta said simply as she pulled her hands out of his grasp.
How could he not have asked soon enough? The Hogsmeade date was only announced just the day beforeâŚ
Damn Tomas Mandray.
The man was a complete and utter dolt and a total snob. Him and Cassian had never gotten along, so theyâd always kept their distance from each other.
Crestfallen, Cassian simply lifted up the textbook once more and began to read off the directions in a monotone voice.
Nesta followed his instructions perfectly.
But there was no teasing, no playful bickering, no insults.
They didnât say anything to each other with the exception of the reading of the instructions.
And it just didnât feelâŚright to him. For them to be like this.
After having gotten his hopes up about a date with NestaâŚhe felt so disappointed. What was he supposed to do now?
At the end of class, they parted ways without a word to each other.
âââââ-
Cassian spent the days leading up to the Hogsmeade trip moping around. Even Rhys and Az called him out in it.
âYouâre seriously this depressed that a Slytherin canât go out with you? Let alone one whoâs been moody and vicious to you?â Rhys had asked him one afternoon upon seeing him just lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling instead of venturing outside like he usually would have done.
âThereâs more to her than that cold exterior,â Cassian had told him calmly.
When he had seen Nesta during their next few Potions classes, he still acknowledged herâŚhe just didnât really talk to her or tease her like he wouldâve done previously.
And it just feltâŚstrange. Like the joy of going to class was gone.
Heâd been rejected before. That was nothing new.
But he had spent so many months longing for a date with NestaâŚthat for it to not happen wasâŚheartbreaking.
And now the day of the Hogsmeade trip was here, and he still felt grumpy over the whole thing. He didnât bother trying to find another date. He considered no longer going, but Rhys and Az managed to drag him along anyway.
They found themselves a table at the Three Broomsticks, and each had a pint of butterbeer before them.
âDo you think heâs going to take her Madam Puddifootâs?â Cassian suddenly wondered aloud.
Az and Rhys gave him a bewildered look. âWhat are you talking about?â Rhys asked.
âTomas and Nesta. Do you think heâs going to take her to Madam Puddifootâs?â Cassian replied. âHe probably isâŚhe would do something completely unoriginal,â he muttered bitterly.
Az and Rhys sighed. âCassian, youâve got to stop thinking about this,â Az said.
âI canât.â
âThis isnât even a breakup,â Rhys stated. âJust let it go.â
Cassian ran a hand through his hair. âIt isnât that simple.â
âWhat kind of hold does this girl have on you? Youâve never had this problem before with other girls.â
Cassian sighed as he slumped in his seat. âI donât know.â
As he took another sip of butterbeer, he couldnât help but wonder if Nesta was sipping a beverage just as sweet at the tea shop.
âââââ-
Today marked an important day for Nesta.
It was not only her first date with Tomas Mandray, but her first dateâŚever.
During her years at Hogwarts, she mostly kept to herself, not really wanting to deal with anyone elseâŚor having the patience to really. She preferred the company of books over others, so she didnât exactly have friendsâŚjust her sisters.
At times she felt perfectly content to spend most of her time alone and independently.
But there were times where she feltâŚutterly alone. Like no one cared or noticed her.
She was shocked when Tomas approached her in the Slytherin common room the other week to ask her to go to Hogsmeade with him. For once, someone actually noticed herâŚ
Tomas was handsome and of good breeding. He came from a wealthy and highly-regarded family. His father worked in the Ministry of MagicâŚa connection that could potentially benefit Nesta in her future dream career, considering she wanted to work in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. Tomas was also intelligent and cunningâŚOverall, very respectable.
And the complete opposite of the long, dark-haired Gryffindor who had spent the past few years annoying her and teasing her.
Nesta shook her head. She shouldnât be wasting time thinking about him.
Especially when she was currently trying to listen to Tomas rattle about his quidditch accomplishments from across the table.
From her walk with Tomas to Hogsmeade to their arrival at Madam Puddifootâs, they shared light conversation. Even though they were in the same year and same house, they didnât know each other too well.
âŚYet Tomas seemed to only really care that she get to know him well. He hardly asked anything about her.
But she continued to listen. She figured he probably was just nervous.
As soon as she took her last sip of tea, Tomas abruptly grabbed hold of her hand. âLetâs get out of here.â Pulling her away from the table, he whisked her out of the tea shop.
When they stepped outside, Tomas wrapped his arm around her, letting his hand rest at her waist and pulled her closer to him.
Nestaâs body tensed as he did so, feeling slightly alarmed that such touching was happening so soon, so quickly. She wasnât used to affection from family to begin with, let alone with someone she didnât know terribly well.
He led her through the crowds, then turned down an alleyway that was between Madam Puddifootâs and another shop. It was empty, but the hustle and bustle of the students could still be heard. Opening up a door at the back of Madam Puddifoots, Tomas pulled her inside, where there were shelves of various teas. Clearly, it was a storage room for the tea shop.
As soon as he closed the door behind them, Tomas yanked her close to him. âNesta, you areâŚso beautiful,â he remarked huskily as he cupped her face and quickly tilted his head down to capture her lips in a fierce kiss.
Stunned, Nesta could not move away. This wasnât how it happened in the books she read. Usually, the characters knew each other at least a bit before they kissed. She wasnât ready for this. She hardly knew him.
Her heart was pounding as he leaned in for another kiss, moving one of his hands to her thigh against her leggings beneath the fabric of her skirt. When his other hand started playing with the waistband of her skirt, threatening to tug it down, the movement startled her enough that she no longer felt frozen. Regaining her senses, she firmly stepped away from him before he could kiss her once more. âNo,â she stated forcefully.
Tomas gave her a peculiar look, but then a grin spread across his face. âOh, you want to find a place thatâs more comfortable? I know a spotâŚâ he remarked as he reached to grab her hand.
But Nesta quickly stepped back once more so she was out of his reach. âNo,â she reiterated emphatically as she crossed her arms. She wished sheâd brought her wand with her so she could blast him away from her. âI donât want to snog you, nor do I want to sleep with you, you disgusting pig.â
Tomasâ eyes narrowed at her and stared at her for a moment, taking a few deep breaths as he did so. Then, he suddenly started towards the door, roughly brushing against her shoulder as he passed. âThen what else are you fuckinâ mudbloods even good for?â he angrily remarked before leaving the room and rejoining the crowds of students.
Nesta watched him through the open door as he left the alleyway.
Fury raged through her at the words he just said, at him being an egotistical jerk, at herself for not recognizing him as the jerk he was and for foolishly believing that he could ever honestly like a girl like her. Sheâd been so terribly stupid and felt soâŚused.
But part of her believed the words he said of her. What else was she good for? Sheâd never been the friendliest or the kindest person. She kept to herself most of the time and came from a family of no special importance. She was a nobodyâŚsomeone who wasnât worth caring about.
And even though she strived to become someone more, someone worthy of admirationâŚthere was always something that pulled her back from such delusions.
Before she could stop them, tears slowly started to fall from her eyes.
âââââ-
After Cassian sipped his last bit of butterbeer, he looked up at his friends with a miserable expression. âI think Iâm going to head back to the castle. Iâm not in the mood to walk around.â
âNo, Cassian, weâll head to Zonkoâs,â Rhys said. âYou always have fun looking around there.â
Cassian sighed. It was true. He always enjoyed seeing the many prankster items at ZonkoâsâŚbut he simply was not in the mood for it this time.
âNot today,â he replied. âIâll see you guys later.â
Rhys and Az looked at him with concern as he got up from the table and walked out of the Three Broomsticks.
Upon stepping outside into the cool autumn air, he took a deep breath. He wished he could enjoy the day with his friendsâŚbut he justâŚcouldnât.
As he weaved his way through the many gleeful students, his mind wandered, causing him to lose focus on his surroundings. In his daze, he accidentally bumped into one studentâs shoulder, nearly knocking her to the ground.
When he turned his head to look at the girl, he realized it was none other than Nesta.
âŚwho happened to be alone.
âNesta!â Cassian exclaimed, and she tilted her head up to look at him. âIâm so sorry!â
Her eyes widened upon seeing him, and Cassian could see they were red-rimmedâŚas if she had been crying.
âYou shouldâŚwatch where youâre going,â Nesta remarked weakly. There was no sharp bite to her reprimand.
It was so unlike her.
She turned to walk away, but Cassian was quick to reach out and grab her hand, stopping her in her tracks. âNesta, whatâs wrong?â
âNothing,â she said without looking at him. Instead, she continued to stand still with her eyes focused on the ground. âMay I go now?â she asked, feeling annoyed.
He felt she wouldâve yanked her hand out of his grip by now, but she didnât.
âDid Tomas hurt you?â he asked, his voice tinged with anger. âDo I need to hex him?â
âIf you do, Iâll have to deduct points from Gryffindor.â
Cassian released a frustrated sigh. âIf he hurt you, then that doesnât matter to me. What happened?â
âNothing,â she replied. âLet go of my hand.â
Cassian immediately released her hand. âWhere are you going?â
âBack to the castle,â she said as she began to walk away from him.
Cassian started to follow her, quickening his pace to catch up to her. He said nothing when he reached her side, instead choosing to simply match her stride.
With a quick glance to him beside her, she frowned. âWhat are you doing?â
âGoing back to the castle,â he answered.
âWhy are you following me?â
âIâm not. I was already on my way back to the castle when I bumped into you,â he stated. âSo we might as well walk back together.â
Nesta said nothing in response to that. Instead, she pointed her head forward and continued along the path.
They walked in silence for a little while, but that was beginning to drive Cassian crazy. First of all, she didnât seem herself. He thought for sure she would put up a fight to him walking with her. Something was off, and he needed her to return to her true self.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out some goodies he had purchased at Honeydukes before he had gone to the Three Broomsticks. âDo you want a chocolate frog? Theyâre your favorite, right?â
Nesta crossed her arms across her chest as she walked. âAnd how would you know theyâre my favorite?â
Cassian held out a chocolate frog as he shoved the other candies back into his pocket. âLast year, after a Defense Against the Dark Arts class where we faced boggarts, Elain brought chocolate frogs over to you at lunch to help you feelâŚless spooked.â
Nesta turned her head slightly to the side, and one of her eyebrows rose into an arch. âHave you been stalking me?â
Cassian shook his head. âThat day, you just seemed so horrified by your boggart that IâŚjust wanted to make sure you were okay.â
âExcept you chose to do so from afar, instead of coming up to me yourself,â Nesta stated.
âAs if you would have accepted any help from me,â Cassian insisted. âYou probably wouldâve insisted you were fine and then would announce you were deducting five points from Gryffindor for me thinking otherwise.â
After that comment, he could see the corners of her mouth threatening to twitch upwards, but she fought the smile. The near-smile made Cassian grin.
âIt would have been ten points,â she admitted.
Cassian chuckled and stuck out his hand again, motioning for her to accept the chocolate frog.
Nesta eyed it warily. âIs this another one of your ways of trying to get girls to jump in a broom closet with you? Find them when theyâre down, then offer them chocolate?â
âDo you think all I do everyday is try to convince girls to snog me?â he asked, offended that she thought of him this way.
âConsidering how many times prefects find you snogging a girl in a broom closet, yes,â she answered firmly, still not taking the chocolate frog.
âSo youâve talked about me with the other prefects?â he said with a smirk.
Nesta rolled her eyes. âWe always have to go over how weâre deducting points and who the biggest culprits are.â
âYouâve still talked about me,â he said with a smirk.
âOnly about what a pain in the ass you are.â
âAnd yet whoâs the one offering you some chocolate and being insulted?â
âIâm not in the mood for chocolate. Especially if it was rejected by all the other girls you probably tried to charm today,â Nesta sneered as they approached the Hogwarts castle.
This time, Cassian rolled his eyes. âIt really is no surprise that youâre patronus is a puma. Always ready to pounce on my ego.â
Nesta stopped and faced him, her arms still crossed against her chest. Her eyes softened. âYou remember what my patronus is?â she asked quietly.
Cassian halted and simply nodded back at her. âItâs pretty impressive. Its form is more distinct than anyone else in our year.â He watched as her face turned a light pink.
After a brief moment of silence, Cassian spoke again. âSo if you arenât in the mood for chocolate, what are you in the mood for?â
âLunch,â she said with a sigh as she glanced down at her watch. âBut it looks like weâre past the lunch service time in the Great Hall.â
âWhat do you want for lunch?â
Nesta eyed him skeptically. âWhat does it matter? Weâve missed lunch.â
Cassian nearly sighed. She always had to make things difficult. âWhat do you wish you could have had for lunch?â
Nesta shrugged. âPancakes.â
âThen letâs go get you pancakes,â Cassian said eagerly.
âWhat are you talking about? Lunch is over. Plus, Hogwarts hardly even makes pancakes.â
âPlease just trust me for once,â he said as he began walking to a castle entryway at a slow pace. He paused at the door and turned his head back toward Nesta, waiting for her to follow him.
Nesta stared at him for a minute. Her eyes were curious and unsure. But eventually she put her arms down at her sides and her feet inched forward to follow after him.
âââââ-
âIâve never been here before,â Nesta commented as she stared at the room around her, filled with house elves wandering about with pots and pans.
âIâm usually starving after Quidditch practice, so I was determined to find the kitchens so I could come get a snack,â Cassian said.
One house elf ambled up to Cassian, lifting up a large plate of pancakes drizzled with syrup as far as she could reach, which was up to Cassianâs waist.
Cassian bent over to take the plate from her hands. âThank you, Ollie,â he said graciously, then grabbed some utensils off a nearby counter.Â
Beaming, Cassian looked over at Nesta. âLetâs go eat,â he announced before turning to leave the kitchens.
âWeâre leaving?â
âYes. This isnât a proper place for us to eat.â
âWhere are we going?â
âItâs a secret,â Cassian said, then turned back to her and found her looking quite annoyed and perplexed. âJust trust me again. I havenât let you down yet,â he added as he waved the plate of pancakes around.
Again, she seemed hesitant, but resigned herself to follow him again.
âââââ-
The two of them headed to the staircase and kept walking further and further up. Nesta wondered if Cassian even had a set spot in mind to eat or if he was just on some hunt to find an area to sit. It wasnât until they had reached the seventh floor that they got off the stairs and headed down a corridor.
Suddenly, Cassian stopped in front of a wall tapestry that depicted some wizard and trolls wearing ballet shoes. There werenât any places to sit, nor were there any rooms nearby, causing Nesta to wonderâŚwhat the hell were they doing here.
Cassian turned to her and handed her the plate of pancakes and utensils. âHold this for a minute.â
Nestaâs eyebrow rose out of curiosity as Cassian began to walk a few paces, then turned around to walk a few more paces, then turned around again to walk a bit more.
When she was about to question aloud what he was doing, a door suddenly appeared in the wall across from the tapestry.
What theâŚ
Her eyes grew big when Cassian opened the door and gestured for her to enter before him. âAfter you.â
Eyeing him suspiciously, she slowly walked towards the door. Without stepping inside, she peeked her head into the room and found multiple shelves of books, a small table with two chairs, and a few couches. âWhat is this place?â
âItâs called the Room of Requirement. It only appears if someone has great need of it. And we are in great need of an area to sit and eat and enjoy ourselves.â
Carefully, Nesta stepped inside the room. There were so many shelves of books in the room, it looked like it was a library. She longed to see what books were there, but she knew her stomach was getting ready to growl any moment now. She needed to eat.
As she set the plate of pancakes down on the small table in the center of the room and sat down, Cassian took the seat across from her.
âSo you justâŚpicture the room you need as you walk back and forth in the corridor and then it will appear?â Nesta asked him.
âBasically,â Cassian answered, picking up the fork and digging into the pancakes.
Nesta picked up the other fork and took a stab into a fluffy flat cake. âWhy did you want this type of room?â
Cassian swallowed the piece of food he was chewing, then opened his mouth to speak. âWell, you love libraries, donât you? Thatâs where I always seem to find you outside of class.â
How was it that this boy before her seemed to know her so well? This boy that she always treated as if he was a pestering pixie?
Thinking back to the past few years, it was true that he occasionally found her at the Hogwarts library. He always had to come by her and caused some kind of commotion, either commenting on the book she was reading or the faces she was making as she was reading or some other inane topic. His talking with her always sent Madam Pince scurrying over to them to reprimand them and threaten to kick them out.
Nesta nodded in response to Cassianâs question as she took another bite of her pancake. âHow did you did you discover this place?â
At her question, Cassianâs cheeks turned slightly pink and Nesta knew immediately that she had to know the answer to this question.
When Cassian remained silent, Nesta prodded him. âHow?â
âBecause I needed a broom closet,â he muttered.
Amusement flowed through her at his words. She smirked. âAnd why did you need a broom closet?â she asked. âEspecially since there are so many others in the castle you could have used.â
âWhen I was in fifth year, there was this seventh-year girl from Ravenclaw who didnât want to be caught by her friends snogging a fifth-year, and so I happened to talk to Ollie about it and she told me about this room.â
For some reason, the thought of Cassian bringing another girl here didnât sit well with her.
But she pushed that hurt to the side and focused on the fact that she was justified in thinking that Cassian was always on the hunt for girls to snog in broom closets.
âWow, an older woman,â she commented, managing to summon some enthusiasm. âDid you run out of new girls to snog from your own year? Excluding the Slytherins of course,â she was quick to note.
Cassian gave her a look that showed he wasnât too pleased with her insinuation. âNo.â
âDo you just prefer older women then?â
âThat depends. When is your birthday?â
âNovember 1st,â she reluctantly answered in between chewing her pancake.
Cassianâs mouth spread into a wide grin as he stared intently at her. âConsidering youâre about two months older than me, then yes, Iâd say older women are my preference.â
Her cheeks suddenly felt very warm.
But was this just what Cassian did to all the girls? Make them feel like they were special, kiss them senseless, then drop them as if they were nothing? Was this just part of the usual charm he put on?
Suddenly no longer feeling hungry, Nesta put down her fork and got up to explore the books in the room.
Running her fingers along the spines of the books, she read through the titles. Spellbound After Midnight. Romancing the Womanizing Wizard. Charming the Enchantress.
They all appeared to be romance novels.
Her favorite.
None of the titles seemed familiar. When she was at home, she was only able to read muggle romance novels. The Hogwarts Library only contained a handful of non-school-related books, so to have shelves of unread romance novels written by witches and wizards before her was a complete thrill.
Pulling one book off the shelf, she made her way to the crimson couch on the other side of the room. Sitting down, she opened the book and began reading the first chapter.
A few pages in, she saw Cassian approach her out of the corner of her eye and proceed to plop down in the couch across from her.
When she turned the page, she could feel him staring at her.
A few more page turns later, she could still feel him staring at her.
Putting her book down in her lap, still opened to the page she was on, she looked up at him. âDonât you want to read a book or something?â she questioned him in an irritated voice.
âI am perfectly content studying and memorizing the features of your face,â he answered.
Nesta rolled her eyes. âStop lying.â
âIâm not lying,â he said as he continued to stare at her. âYouâre beautiful.â
The same words Tomas had said to her earlier that day.
Was Cassian just like him, only more patient? Was he willing to spend more time trying to flatter her to get her to sleep with him?
But the way Cassian said those words was different compared to the way Tomas said them. Tomasâ tone made it sound like he was praising a prized object he was thrilled to have in his possession, while Cassian sounded like he was truly admiring her.
Of course, she couldnât help but wonder if this was how he treated all the other girls heâd been with.
And yet, she remained here in this room with him, instead of bursting out as soon as she was fed. The fact that he remembered her patronus, her love of chocolates and readingâŚperhaps thatâs what made her stay. What made her want to find out if Cassian spoke truthfully about wanting to get to know her better.
âWell, I canât read if youâre staring at me.â
âI apologize,â he said, finally shifting his gaze over to a nearby shelf.
Nesta looked over to the shelves too and saw one was filled with games and puzzles instead of books. Closing her book and placing it beside her on the couch cushion, she stood up. âAre you up for a wizardâs chess match?â
Cassian grinned a little too mischievously. âAbsolutely. Prepare to be beaten, Archeron.â
âWeâll see about that.â
âââââ-
âI demand a rematch,â Cassian insisted after Nesta had just shouted âCheckmate!â and smiled proudly at him. He was too competitive for his own good.
But he was also obsessed with the focus Nesta had during the game. As she analyzed the board and the pieces throughout, he could envision the cogs within her brain clinking together as she determined what to do next. From the way her lips would move slightly to the left when she was deep in thought to the way she would occasionally squint her eyes when looking at the board, Cassian was mesmerized. And then when she would make her move, she did so with such confidence and assuredness, it was captivating.
âWeâve already played three times,â Nesta, sitting on the floor on the opposite side of the chess board from him and completely clueless to the effect she had on him, pointed out. âCan your ego simply not take being beaten by a girl?â
âNo. I just want to learn how to play like you. How did you learn to play like that?â
âMy father taught me how to play muggle chess when I was young,â Nesta revealed. The expression on Nestaâs face turned glum, causing Cassian to frown.
âWhatâs wrong? What did I say?â he immediately asked, nervous that he was ruining this moment with her.
Nesta shook her head. âItâs nothing. Itâs justâŚâ she trailed off.
âGo on,â Cassian encouraged her gently.
âMy fatherâŚmade some bad investments and ran his business into the ground a few years ago. He hasnât been the same since.â
âHow so?â
Nesta took a shaky breath. âItâs like heâs lost the will to live. He hasnât even bothered trying to find another job. He doesnât even want to take care of our family, nor does he really care to hear from us. Thankfully, we have Hogwarts to come to for most of the yearâŚâ
Cassianâs frown grew deeper. He was aware that their mother had passed away long before she came to Hogwarts. That meant they only had their father to provide for themâŚ
âWhat does that mean? What happens during the summers?â
âFeyre managed to get lucky this past summer and got a job at a nearby grocery store thanks to a friend. Elain and I have had trouble getting jobs since we can only work during the summers, but sometimes the neighbors will pay for us to do chores for them around the house. We get by,â she shrugged. Â
Cassian stopped himself from letting his mouth drop open in shock. âWhat happens to your father when youâre here at Hogwarts?â
âOur neighbors help take care of him.â
Cassian shook his head. âNesta, Iâm so sorry. I had no idea. If I had knownâŚâ
Nesta held up her hand and cut him off. âStop it, Cassian. There is no need to beat yourself up for it.â
Cassian stared at her, sadness filling his heart. The whole summer, he had been obsessing over her and thinking of her nearly everyday. Meanwhile, sheâd been trying toâŚsurvive.
âIf itâs any consolationâŚmy father walked out on me and my mother shortly after I was born. He went to be someone elseâs husband and father. And then my mother passed away a few years later,â Cassian revealed quietly.
Nesta glanced up at him with sympathetic eyes. âIâm sorry, Cassian,â she whispered.
âI didnât mean for you to feel sorry for me. I just wanted you to know thatâŚyouâre arenât alone in having anâŚawful dad.â
âItâs nice to know thereâs someoneâŚwho understands,â she said gently.
Cassian gave her a small smile. âIt is,â he agreed. His breathing slowed as he stared into her eyes and Nesta stared back in silence. He wished he could lean forward and kiss her, but he still couldnât tell just yet if she liked him or not.
Suddenly, Nesta broke their staring contest âLetâs play another game,â she said abruptly as she stood up to walk past him and look at the shelf of games. âHow about Exploding Snap?â
âHow about Truth or Dare?â Cassian suggested instead, twisting his body to look up at her from his spot on the ground and smirk at her. Maybe he could better figure out Nestaâs feelings during such a game.
Nesta scowled at him.
âToo scared to play?â he teased her.
She crossed her arms against her chest. âFine. Truth or dare?â
Cassian thought for a moment. âTruth.â Nesta clasped her hands behind her back as she strolled about the room, looking again at all the books that surrounded them. âHow many girls have you brought to this room, including me?â
âOne.â
Nesta halted her steps to look back at Cassian sitting on the floor. She looked completely bewildered. âI said âincluding me.ââ
âI know,â he said. âItâs only been you.â
âBut the seventh-year Ravenclaw - â
âI ended up not bringing her here after realizing I shouldnât be with someone whoâs ashamed to be seen with me.â
âWow, so you actually have standards,â she remarked.
Choosing to let her comment slide, he resumed their game. âTruth or dare?â
âDare,â she instantly said.
There wasnât much that could be done to embarrass someone when youâre playing in a secret room with no other people around. And he certainly didnât want to leave the room just yet for risk of ruining this time with Nesta. Just the two of them had beenâŚpleasant. âI dare you to give me a compliment.â He looked at her devilishly.
Nesta took a deep breath and squinted her eyes, while in deep thought.
âAny day now,â Cassian pressed her when she remained quiet for over a minute.
âMy apologies. Itâs hard to think of something,â she said casually as she sauntered around him.
Looking unimpressed, Cassian crossed his arms against his chest and waited.
And waited.
âI supposeâŚâ Nesta began. âYouâre not terrible at Quidditch.â
âThat was barely a compliment,â Cassian complained. But the fact she had paid attention to him playing quidditch wasâŚintriguing.
âBut a compliment, nonetheless. Truth or dare?â she quickly questioned him.
Cassian pouted. âTruth,â he grunted.
âHow many girls have you kissed since being back at school this year?â
Cassian perked up his head. âWhy do you care about that?â
âIâm not required to tell you why Iâm asking a question.â
Such an infuriating, stubborn girl, this oneâŚ
And yet, he knew that was partially why he liked her so much.
âZero,â he answered emphatically.
Nesta stopped and whipped her head in his direction. âReally?â
Cassian nodded. âReally.â
âIâm shocked. Weâve been back for over a month now, and you havenât kissed anyone?â
âNope,â he said as he got up off the floor and started walking towards her.
It had actually been over four months since heâd kissed a girl.
Because there was only one girl he wanted to kissâŚ
âI figured you wouldâve kissed at least one girl a week.â
âGuess you donât know me as well as you thought,â he stated as he leaned against the bookshelf right beside her.
âOr youâre losing your charm,â she retorted, crossing her arms against herself as she tilted her head up at him.
Dramatically, Cassian put his hand over his heart. âYou wound me,â he cried out.
Nesta rolled her eyes.
âBut you do admit then that at some point, I was charming?â he eagerly replied.
âNo, I misspoke. I think the girls have finally realized you never had charm to begin with.â
Cassian smirked. âYou admitted I was charming.â
Nesta groaned. âStop gloating. I pick âdare,â by the way.â
âI dare you to tell me why you want know how many girls Iâve kissed and how many Iâve brought to this room.â
âThatâs not a real dare! Thatâs a âtruthâ disguised as a dare,â she yelled at him.
âYou didnât give me a true compliment!â Cassian shouted back.
âUgh, fine.â Nesta sighed. âIâm just trying to see ifâŚâ
âIfâŚ?â Cassian encouraged her to go on.
âIf Iâm justâŚone of the many,â Nesta finished quietly.
Cassianâs gaze lost its cheeky amusement. âNesta,â he said as he stood upright and grabbed her hands. âYou are not just one of the many. I spent nearly every day of my summer thinking about you. Iâve never brought a girl to the kitchens before. Thereâs not even a girl Iâve probably talked to as much as you, with all the times weâve teased each other over the years.â
Nesta stared up at him thoughtfully.
And then Cassianâs stomach chose that precise moment to grumble.
Effectively ruining the moment.
Nesta pulled her hands away from him and looked down at her watch. âI guess itâs already dinnertimeâŚâ
âI guess we should head off to eat with the other students in the Great Hall thenâŚâ Cassian said, hating himself for saying it, not wanting their time together to end. Heâd much rather eat with her alone again.
âI guess we should,â she stated reluctantly.
âBut I donât really want to,â he admitted.
âI donâtâŚreally want to either,â she agreed.
It felt like his stomach did somersaults when he heard her say those words. Beaming, he held out his hand in invitation for her to grab it again. âTo the kitchens, then?â
And with a demure smile, she grasped it tightly, permitting him to lead the way. âTo the kitchens.â
âââââ-
It was when they made their way down the many staircases that an idea came to Cassian for where he and Nesta could eat their dinner. It just required a few more itemsâŚ
When they had arrived at the kitchens, he had instructed Ollie to prepare two dinner meals to-go and told Nesta to wait for him there while he retrieved a few things from his room.
As he rushed back to the kitchens, he only prayed that she had indeed stayed in the kitchens and wasnât having seconds thoughts about eating dinner with him.
Finally - finally - he had gotten some sort of sign that maybe - just maybe - she liked him back.
Or could potentially like him.
Or at least liked him enough to spend more time with him.
âŚIf she didnât back out.
The thought pushed him to move his feet even faster, nearly tripping over himself as he passed all the chattering witches and wizards within the various portraits along the walls.
Out of breath and bearing a blanket and a cloak, he couldnât help but smile when he saw Nesta still waiting for him, holding a basket that he bet contained the food prepared by the house-elves.
âYou have the food?â he asked to confirm.
Nesta gave him a firm nod.
âLetâs go,â he stated, beginning to walk out of the kitchens.
âIs this another secret?â Nesta asked as she followed him.
âYou bet,â Cassian exclaimed with a wink back at her.
This time, she didnât look hesitant and unsure. Instead, she seemedâŚintrigued and eager.
More progress.
Once they went up the staircase and reached the ground level, Cassian leisurely strolled alongside Nesta and guided her outside through one of the castleâs doors
âWeâre going outside?â Nesta wondered. âI donât have my - â
âI got you covered,â Cassian cut her off, knowing she was going to say she didnât have her cloak or jacket. He halted his steps. âHold this,â he instructed as he handed her the blanket. He then unfurled the cloak within his arms and hooked it around Nestaâs shoulders.
Seeing her wear his cloak made her look even more attractive to him.
Why did he do this to himselfâŚ
She seemed grateful for the gestureâŚuntil she tilted her head down to look closer at the cloak she was wearing and grimaced.
âWhat?â
âIt has the silly Gryffindor emblem on it,â she noted before looking up at him. âBut I suppose I will survive wearing it just for one nightâŚâ She finished with a soft smile.
Cassian chuckled as he took the blanket out of her arms. âI sure hope so.â
As they resumed their walk, a gentle, cool breeze blew past them. With his free hand, Cassian grabbed Nestaâs free one and eagerly led her down the slope toward the Great Lake. He beamed when she tightened her grasp on his hand.
The sun was just beginning to set over the lake waters. Once they were near the edge of the lake, Cassian let go of her hand to lay down the blanket. Nesta promptly set down the basket of food and sat down upon the blanket. Cassian followed suit.
Upon opening the basket, they found a delectable meal of roast beef, mashed potatoes, peas, treacle tart for dessert and bottles of pumpkin juice.
As they dug into their meal, they watched the sun descend over the glistening waters.
âItâs beautiful,â Nesta commented softly.
Cassian inclined his head toward hers. âNot as beautiful as you,â he whispered.
Nesta groaned. âYou really need some new material.â
âWell everything about you is impossible to properly compliment,â he said in his smooth-talking voice. âYou are simply indescribable.â
Nesta rolled her eyes and shook her head back and forth as she swallowed some potatoes. âGood grief, you are soâŚridiculous!â
âI think what you meant to say was âCassian, you are so ridiculously handsome, and I canât imagine spending this beautiful night with anyone else.ââ
ââCanât imagine spending the beautiful night with anyone else?ââ Â she exclaimed incredulously. âI certainly can! If I was here with Hugh Grisman from Hufflepuff, heâd be too frightened to talk.â
Despite being thwarted of being given a compliment from Nesta once more, Cassianâs eyes still contained a hint of amusement.
âOr, imagine if I was here with Lawrence Milton from Ravenclaw. He would be going on and on about all the science behind the sun,â Nesta joked as she turned her gaze upward.
âImagine if you were here with Walton Azley from Gryffindor,â Cassian piped in. âHeâd probably try to convince you to go walking through the water with him in search of some obscure magical creature.â
Nesta chuckled, and it was a sound that Cassian wished he could hear over and over again. He started laughing with her.
âIf I was with Artemis Braxton, heâd probably charm me with his singing voice and sweep me in arms to -â
âOkay, I think thatâs enough,â Cassian sternly interjected and stopped laughing. While Artemis Braxton was a famous singer who would likely never be on a date with Nesta, the thought of someone else wooing her and wrapping his arms around her sent jealousy running through him.
From the way Nesta smirked at him, he could tell she was well aware how that image made him feel.
âYou have no right to get in a huff about this,â she said rather calmly. âEspecially since youâve probably been here with - â
âI havenât been on a picnic with any other girl,â Cassian was quick to reply. âItâs only been you,â he stated earnestly.
The smug grin vanished from her face. Instead, she looked pensively down at her food as she ate.
Cassian let out a slow breath he didnât realize he was holding and resumed eating his peas, while Nesta continued to pick at her roast beef. The sunâs last remaining rays faded from the sky, and for a short while, they sat in silence and simply listened to the whistling of the wind.
But then, Cassian heard Nesta suddenly put her utensils down on the now empty plate in her lap. In the darkness, she focused her gaze down at the plate.
âEarlier today, TomasâŚhe just wanted me for sex,â she whispered. âAnd then when I rejected him, he said he didnât know what fuckinâ mudbloods were even good for then.â
Rage flowed through Cassianâs body. He was livid, absolutely livid. His hands, which gripped his fork and his plate, began to tremble from his anger. Tossing the plate to the side, he hurriedly stood up off the ground.
He was going to pummel that piece ofâŚ
âLumos,â he somehow heard Nesta say over the sound of his raging heartbeat. âWhere are you going?â she asked angrily as she held out her lit wand so she could see him.
âIâm going to murder Mandray,â he stated seriously.
âNo, you arenât. Sit back down,â she ordered sternly. âNow.â
âYou donât deserve to be treated that way!â Cassian cried out, trying to make her understand. But when Nestaâs glare did not disappear, he begrudgingly sat back down on the blanket.
âYou donât need to be causing anymore trouble,â she said as she grabbed hold of his hand and intertwined their fingers. âIf you become a murderer, I donât want to have to see that handsome face of yours hidden behind the bars of Azkaban.â
Cassian suddenly sat up straight. âDid you just willingly compliment me?â
Nesta nodded. âPerhaps you should document this moment since itâs such a rare occurrence and probably wonât happen ever again.â
If he wasnât so enraged, Cassian wouldâve chuckled at her comment. âCan I at least hit him with the bludger multiple times during our next match against Slytherin?â he wondered aloud.
âSure.â
He stared at her in the glow of her wand for a moment. âYouâre really going to let him get away with this?â
âOf course not. In time, I will retaliate,â she remarked with a delighted sneer.
âGood,â he said with a conniving smile. âLet me know if you need any help.â
âYouâve already helped me enough today,â she said seriously and squeezed his hand. Nesta dropped her lit wand onto the picnic blanket, then began shifting her body so she was right beside him, her thigh grazing his. She rested her head on his shoulder. Cassian released her hand and instantly wrapped it around Nestaâs back to pull her closer. He inhaled her lavender scent and tried to calm his heartbeat that was racing from the excitement of being so close to her.
âThank you, Cassian,â she said softly as she tilted her head up, her nose brushing briefly against his cheek. âFor today,â she added.
âYouâre welcome,â he whispered back.
Those eyesâŚthey were like magnets. Always pulling him in and making him never want to remove his gaze.
And those luscious lipsâŚthey called to him. He wanted to kiss her so badlyâŚ
Slowly inching his face toward hers, Cassian took a deep breath, and he could see Nesta doing the same.
But suddenly, her eyes widened in shock and she shot up to her feet. âOh no,â she gasped.
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked, feeling alarmed and standing up with her.
She glanced down at her watch. âI have to go. I completely forgot about my shift tonight to patrol some of the corridors.â
Hurriedly, she took the cloak off her body and handed it off to Cassian.
But she couldnât leave. Not yetâŚnot when they had come so far.
âJust forget about it. Donât go,â he pleaded as he tossed his cloak to the ground and attempted to grab hold of Nestaâs wrist.
âI have to leave,â she said firmly, dodging his grasp as she picked up her wand. âGoodnight,â she said before rushing off to the castle door.
âââââ-
Despite Nestaâs abrupt departure, Cassian was in a state of elation for a while.
He had finally been on a date with Nesta. And now he couldnât wait to ask her to go out on a second one.
Their time together was soâŚsimple and quaint. But they were alone, and he had felt so relaxed around her. It was justâŚdifferent from when heâd spent time with other girls. He didnât have to feel like he was pretending to be someone else. She was someone who could relate to him and justâŚunderstand. Someone he could be vulnerable with.
Plus, he finally got to hear her admit he was handsome.
Then there was the fact they they held hands multiple times and she let him wrap his arm around herâŚsigns that she didnât truly despise his company. That she felt something for him in return.
For the evening after their date and the next couple of days, it was like he was in a daze. Rhys and Az wondered what was wrong with him. He kept humming to himself as he walked through the corridors of the castle, and he could hardly pay attention to what was going on around him. Every time he turned a corner, he kept hoping that Nesta would be there, happening to walk in his direction.
Alas, he wasnât so lucky.
At meal times, heâd stretch out his neck to take a peek over at the Slytherin table, hoping heâd find her among the crowd and throw a wink her way. Maybe even offer to whisk her off to the kitchens again.
But he never saw her.
But when their Potions class on Tuesday was approaching, Cassian was ecstatic at the thought of finally seeing Nesta and asking her out againâŚwith hopefully more success this time around. He even arrived to class fifteen minutes earlier with the hope that he could talk to her before class. And he never got to class early.
But she never showed up for classâŚwhich seemed so unlike her. Heâd never known her to miss class.
So that afternoon, he decided to attempt to seek her out. He went to the library for a while, pretending to study as he periodically looked around for Nestaâs head bent over a book as he so often saw in the past.
But there was no sign of her.
On Wednesday afternoon, he hung around outside the entrance to the Slytherin dormitory for a while, thinking he could at some point catch her coming in or out. He ended up receiving a lot of dirty and suspicious looks from various SlytherinsâŚnone of them from the one he was looking for. When he saw one seventh-year Slytherin female leaving the dormitory, he blatantly asked her if Nesta was inside. The female frowned at him - seemingly perturbed that a Gryffindor was talking to her - and reluctantly informed him that she hadnât seen her since that morning.
At least someone had seen her and he knew she was alive.
On Thursday, he was thrilled once more about going to Potions class, again getting to the class early, because surely Nesta wouldnât miss two classesâŚ
But once again, she never showed up.
And so Cassianâs euphoria began to dampen.
âââââ-
The night Nesta patrolled the corridors after her picnic with Cassian, she found itâŚterribly difficult to keep her mind off of him.
They had almost kissed andâŚshe could not believe herself. If she didnât remember her patrol shift, she probably wouldâve let him.
The thought flustered her.
This was Cassian she was talking about. Cassian!
A boy who took every chance to annoy her, to tease her, to argue with her, to make sarcastic comments and innuendos to her constantly for the past several years.
It was ridiculous.
Her and him togetherâŚpreposterous!
It simply didnât make sense. He cared more about quidditch than studying for his N.E.W.T. exams. He didnât come from a high social standing family that could help advance her career, which is what she had always pictured for herself.
She may have read tons of romance novels with grand gestures and declarations of love, butâŚshe never pictured such things happening to her. Others had always considered her unkind, snobby, and unlikable. Itâs what made it so hard for her to make friends.
So she never thought sheâd ever be a part of a swoon-worthy scenario where a boy got her pancakes because she was hungry and took her to a room that he had transformed into one of her favorite places and then take her on a picnic by the lake.
Nesta groaned. She had admitted to herself that Cassianâs actions were swoon-worthy.
What had gotten into her? How could she let her barriers come down? She even started telling him about her issues with her father. She hardly even discussed such things with her sisters. And then he even opened up to her about his parents. She had never known that his father walked out on himâŚ
No. She had to stop thinking about this. She needed to forget it. He had his date with her, he got what he wanted. Now, he would probably never want to hang out with her ever again.
To her both her displeasure and her pleasure, a visual of him and his silly smirking face formed in her mind as soon as she awoke Sunday morning.
And then when she went to brush her hair and put it in a braid crown, she couldnât help but wonder what it would feel like to have Cassianâs hands run through her hair.
Ugh. Why would she imagine such things?
Things that are not meant to be and should never happen.
Sheâd need to keep her distance from him for a little while. Give herself space to allow herself to forget about him.
(Even though part of her was also dying to see him again.)
So for the next few days, she spent most of her time in the Room of Requirement, which she figured no one else would be able to enter if it was in use. If she hung out in the library, she knew there was a chance she could run into him. And she certainly couldnât eat her meals in the Great Hall, or she would see him. Luckily, Cassian had shown her how to get to the kitchensâŚ
But unfortunately in her determination to not see him, she kept being reminded of him because she was going to the places he had introduced her to.
She still attended her classes, but when Tuesday rolled around, she just knew she couldnât face him yet. She had to get herself together and build up her walls around her once more before she saw him again. SoâŚfor once in her life, she skipped class.
Then skipped for the second time in her life when it was time for Potions class on Thursday.
Because. She. Still. Could. Not. Get. Him. Out. Of. Her. Head.
She wanted to scream.
Every day, she thought of him and wished he was with her.
But then she would get frazzled and wonder why she felt this way.
Was she completely delusional? Was she sick? What was making her feel this way? Why couldnât she just forget him already?
This was how she envisioned what being under the spell of a love potion would feel like.
A love potionâŚ
Could he have possibly slipped her a love potion at some point?
That had to be it. There was just no way she would feel this way on her own accord.
But now she was fumingâŚover the fact that she couldnât stop thinking about him on top of the possibility that he had slipped her a love potion.
Now she knew she needed to see him and get to the bottom of this madness once and for all.
She glanced down at her watch. It was roughly an hour before dinner. He could be anywhereâŚperhaps in his dormitory or at quidditch practice.
Quidditch practice.
Hurriedly, she grabbed her satchel to search for her notebook that contained schedules of classes, quidditch, clubs, and more for prefect purposes. Opening her notebook, she flipped through the pages to the one she was looking for.
Quidditch Practice - Thursdays
4:00pm - Ravenclaw
5:00pm - Gryffindor
Without even a second thought, she departed the Room of Requirement and headed straight to the quidditch pitch.
âââââ-
When she arrived, she indeed found the Gryffindor team huddled together on the ground, finishing up their practice.
With her arms crossed, she walked onto the field and leaned back against the barricade that separated the stands from the field. Her eyes found Cassianâs tall form in the distance immediately. His silky, dark hair was pulled back into a bun and his athletic wear made his muscles look more pronounced.
Nesta scolded herself and reminded herself to remain focused. She needed to confront Cassian and find out if he gave her a love potion. She just needed to wait a little bit, since she certainly didnât want to make a scene in front of everyone else.
The Gryffindor team huddle broke apart, and when Cassian stepped away, his eyes instantly found hers and his face broke out in the widest grin sheâd ever seen on anyone.
No, the smile did not make her weak in the knees.
She refused to let it.
âŚbut failed.
Her whole plan had been to stomp over to him and make her frustrations known. Instead, he was now gleefully jogging toward her with his broom in his hand while the rest of the team dispersed, heading to the changing rooms.
Her body refused to move. Too frozen from that damn smile and the way he was currently looking at her.
âNes,â he said when he approached. âWhere have you been? Did something happen?â His voice was filled with concern, and his free hand neared her as if he was about to grab her hand.
She certainly could not allow that to happen. Lifting up her wand in her right hand, she jabbed its tip into the center of his chest to prevent him from going any further. âStop it right there,â she angrily ordered. âAnd donât ever call me Nes.â
Upon hearing her tone, Cassian frowned and outstretched his empty hand in confusion. âSweetheart, whatâs wrong?â
Nesta groaned and she jabbed the tip of her wand into his chest again. âI am not your sweetheart.â
âOk, put your wand down,â Cassian requested, his voice sounding like he was trying really hard to control his temper. âAnd Nesta, please tell me whatâs wrong? Iâve been worried about you. You missed class, and you never miss class -â
âNo,â Nesta interrupted him, disregarding his request to put her wand down and instead tapping his chest with it. âNo, you donât get to say these things and act like you know me so well!â
âBut I do know you,â Cassian said with traces of frustration and impatience. âAt least a little! And I want to get to know you better!â
âWell, giving someone a love potion is a lousy way of showing that!â Nesta shouted back, and a look of complete and utter bewilderment covered Cassianâs face.
âWhat? You think I gave you a love potion?!â Cassian exclaimed. âIâve done no such thing.â
âDonât lie to me! Why else would I be feeling this way and constantly thinking about -â Nesta began to say, but abruptly stopped herself from saying anything more.
âThinking about what? Me?â he questioned her, infuriated. âIs it so ridiculous to think you might actually like me that you assumed I must have used a love potion on you?â
Nesta slowly pulled her wand away from him and brought it down to her side as she stared at the ground, avoiding his gaze.
Cassian looked down at her peevishly. âI thought you knew me enough to know I would never do such a thing. I want to date you and be with you, but only if you truly want to be with me too. I loved spending time with you on Saturday, and it seemed like you enjoyed it too. But maybe youâre only accusing me of using a potion because youâre ashamed at the thought of liking me?â
Nesta kept staring at the ground beneath her feet, taking slow and steady breaths as she listened to Cassianâs hurt voice.
She gave him no reply.
âNo denial, then?â he asked in a pained voice. âWell, I suppose I should at least be flattered that you think Iâm smart enough to concoct a love potion that lasts for several days, when most only seem to last for less than twenty-four hours with one dose. Goodnight, Nesta,â he said gruffly before turning around and hurriedly marching off to the quidditch changing rooms.
Nesta lifted her head and watched him walk away.
This all wasnât some game to him. She shouldâve known that just based on all that he did for her on Saturday.
The anguish in his voice just now further proved it.
And hearing that anguish made her feel like she was crumbling on the inside.
Of course he didnât use a stupid love potion. She had just been searching for any excuse at all to explain these feelings she had for him. Feelings of wanting to be with him and spend time with him andâŚkiss him.
She wasnât ashamed to have these feelings. Sure, it was a shock to have them for him. But she was mostlyâŚafraid.
Afraid of being hurt and betrayed because she had these feelings.
Why did she have to be so destructive?
When she saw Cassian enter the changing rooms, Nesta felt compelled to follow after him. She couldnât leave things like that.
It was time for her to be honest both with him and herself. No more coming up with excuses.
With her robes flowing around her, she ran across the pitch to the changing rooms.
As she rushed toward them, many of the other Gryffindor players were walking out and gave her quizzical looks. But she had no time to careâŚnot that she ever would have cared anyway.
When she burst into the room, out of breath, she was relieved to find Cassian was the only one in there. He stood before a locker, angrily removing his leg and arm guards.
âCassian,â Nesta called out softly, causing Cassian to briefly glance up at her.
âComing to get in one more insult because claiming I used a love potion wasnât enough?â he questioned her bitterly.
âNo,â she emphatically replied. âI⌠Whatâs wrong with your hand?â she suddenly asked when she noticed his knuckles were completely swelled up.
Cassian just shrugged. âJustâŚhit a locker,â he muttered before aggressively removing the glove off of his other hand.
Did heâŚpunch a locker out of anger over her stupid words?
âSit down and let me see it,â Nesta demanded as she gently pushed Cassian down on the bench in front of the locker and quickly grabbed hold of his wrist before he could protest. She sat next to him and lifted his hand to inspect his knuckles, then took out her wand and directed it at the injury.
âGlaciotious,â Nesta said and an icy coolness from her wand settled over the swollen area. âAre there bandages somewhere in here?â
Cassian shook his head. Nesta then took a quick glance around the room before glancing down at her own clothes. Letting go of Cassianâs hand, she untied the tie from around her neck and threw it on the bench beside her. âLinteumos,â Nesta stated as she directed her wand at it.
Before their eyes, her green and silver tie had transfigured into a long green and silver bandage. Picking it up, she brought it toward Cassian and gestured for him to stick out his hand once more.
He reluctantly did so, and Nesta placed her wand down on the bench and went about carefully wrapping the bandage around his knuckles.
âNesta, what are you doing?â Cassian asked exasperatedly.
âTaking care of you,â she replied.
âWhy?â
âBecause I care about you,â she answered ardently as her fingertips grazed his skin, the touch sending goosebumps up her arm. âAnd that scares me,â she added in a whisper.
His eyebrows rose up in arches at her words. âWhy does that scare you?â
She tied a knot in the bandage and gently set his arm back at his side. âBecause I could get hurt.â
âWhat do you mean?â he asked as he stared at her intently.
âTo care for someone and let them in and grow to love themâŚthereâs the chance that one day theyâll just leave you or betray you or forget about you altogether.â
Just like my father, she nearly added.
But from the way Cassian looked at her sympathetically, she sensed that he knew what she almost said. He swung one of his legs over onto the other side of the bench so he could fully face her. Taking one of her hands within his uninjured one, he rubbed circles with his thumb into the back of it.
âAnd I know Iâm not easy toâŚcare about either. I have a tendency to push people awayâŚso itâs just been easier toâŚisolate myself,â she added.
âNesta, I canât promise right now that weâll be together forever, and neither can you, but I know that what I feel for you is different from what Iâve felt for any other girl,â Cassian explained fervently. âAnd I donât want to waste any time in our final year here if we want to give this a shot. You just need to decide if youâre willing to take the risk.â
Nesta closed her eyes as he spoke, debating and thinking over what she should do.
Mere minutes ago, she nearly became distraught over seeing Cassian walk away from her. It wasnât something she wanted to experience again. If they were together, there was the risk they would breakup and he would leave her. But if she decided right now not to go out with him again, heâd probably leave her alone completelyâŚ
The past few days since their unofficial date, she had missed him. Despite every effort to try to forget about him, she missed him too much. Perhaps, that was the real reason she felt the desire to go storming out onto the quidditch pitch today. She needed to see him.
But then she had cut him down with her insinuation of him using a love potion on her. It was how she shielded herself. Strike others down before they could hurt her.
However, this time, her strike against someone else also hurt her. She was already in too deep, so she might as wellâŚtry this out.
But she did so, she needed to apologize.
She opened her eyes and stared back at him. âIâm sorry I accused you of giving me a love potion.â
An amused smile took over Cassianâs face. âI will only accept your apology if you tell me what you meant when you said you were feeling a certain way and constantly thinking about something?â
Nesta rolled her eyes. âIsnât it obvious how I feel at this point?â
âI want to hear you say it. Youâve already heard me tell you a few times how I feel about you. Itâs time to return the favor.â
âFine,â she said dramatically and squeezed his hand. âDespite you being a persistent and arrogant and demanding dolt, I like you and I like spending time with you.â
Cassian gloated and squeezed her hand in return. âAnd what have you been constantly thinking about?â
Nesta sighed again. âYou and how much I want to kiss that stupid grin off of your face.â
Cassianâs eyes grew big and his mouth dropped open.
Good. Just the reaction she was looking for. She smugly smiled at him as she leaned closer to him.
âSo does this mean youâll take the risk and go out with me?â Cassian questioned her, his breath tickling her nose.
Nesta scrunched up her nose upon smelling a foul stench. He still hadnât cleaned up after practice. âThat depends if you plan on showering anytime soon.â
Cassian sighed as she leaned away from him. âIâll go shower right now. Meet me outside the Great Hall in twenty minutes?â
Nesta nodded in agreement.
âGreat,â he said dreamily as he squeezed her hand one more time before releasing it. âI expect a real answer to my question then.â
âWait,â she said as she grabbed his injured hand. âPlasticus,â she stated when she pointed her wand at his bandage, charming it to turn into plastic. âFor your shower,â she explained.
âThank you,â he whispered.
Nesta simply gave him a smile before getting up and heading out of the changing rooms, while he made his way to the shower stall.
On her way to the castle, an idea popped into Nestaâs mind.
âââââ-
Following his shower in the quidditch changing rooms, Cassian raced to the Great Hall, eager to hear Nesta finally say that she would go out with him.
âŚand possibly finally kiss her.
Having heard her say she had been thinking about kissing the grin off of his face had been such a surprise. He never thought heâd ever hear her admit that. Especially when he would have just been satisfied with her saying that she had been constantly thinking of him.
Finally, they seemed to be on the same wavelength.
When the Great Hall entrance was finally in sight, he didnât see Nesta anywhere.
Was she avoiding him again? Did she freak out again? He had just seen her a mere twenty minutes ago. How could her feelings change so quickly?
Suddenly, a door he passed on his left opened and a hand reached out, grabbing hold of his arm and yanking him into the roomâŚ
Which turned out to be a tiny dimly-lit space filled with various broomsticks, mops and buckets.
And none other than Nesta Archeron.
Nesta closed the door behind them and gently pushed him so his back was up against the wall. She wrapped her hands around his neck, bringing his face down to hers to capture his lips in a fervent kiss. Once over the shock of this unexpected event, Cassian placed his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him, needing to be as close to her as he possibly could.
The taste of her was better than he had envisioned and he couldnât get enough. When she would hesitantly pull away the slightest bit, he dove right back into the kiss, gently tugging at her lips with his teeth to pull her back in.
At some point, he did remember however that heâd been expecting her to answer his question. Reluctantly, he pulled his lips away from hers, and the two of them stood with their foreheads resting against each otherâs. Her heavy breathing matched his own.
âI knew you always wanted to snog me in a broom closet,â he remarked cheekily.
âI needed to see what all the fuss was about,â she replied as she moved her hands up into his unbound hair and ran her fingers through it over and over again. âBut if another prefect catches me, youâre dead,â she added rather seriously.
âIâm dead? Youâre the one who dragged me in here!â
âBut youâre the one who keeps kissing me.â
âBecause you started it,â he noted before giving her a quick peck on the lips. âAnd youâre too intoxicating.â
Her eyes glimmered like the stars as she blushed.
âSo Nesta Archeron, will you go out with me?â he asked.
She took a deep breath. âYes,â she breathed.
Cassian beamed as he planted her with a passionate kiss.
âAre you ready to go to the Great Hall?â he asked when he pulled away.
âNot yet,â she said before leaning forward to kiss him again. Â
âMaybe we can eat in the kitchens later instead,â he mumbled against her lips.
âI like that plan,â she whispered before wrapping her arms tighter around his neck and kissing him ravenously.
A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I hope you liked it! I apologize for any errorsâŚI was sick when I edited this! Cassian just seems like he would totally be like a Hogwarts-era Sirius Black to me XD anyone else agree? :) Right now, this is just a oneshot. But do I have ideas for other Nessian dates/issues while at Hogwarts? Yes. Will I ever write them? I have no idea. I kinda want take a break, kinda want to go back to writing my post-ACOFAS fic, haha. So weâll see!
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give women a BREAK.
What is with this underlying misogyny in the acotar fandom? No, nesta doesnât need to cater to Cassianâs feelings. No, Elain doesnât need to cater to Lucienâs feelings. Both of them are going through their own shit and the majority of y'all are worried about how bad their constant rejection is making men feel? OK.
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