neurosioux

[neurosioux]

I let out a deep sigh, and a single tear rolls down from my eye. I loved you. I really, genuinely loved you.... but you did not love me.

[neurosioux]

I've been holding all this shit in for too long

[neurosioux]

Hello Travis. Now that you've patiently waited for your turn.....

I often fantasize about messaging your wife about you grooming me. About the psychological abuse you put me through.... I mean. I tried to end my life because of you. I ended up in a psych ward because of you. You were talking to me right when you found her profile on MySpace. I think she has a right to know what kind of disgusting fuck you truly are. Or maybe she knows and is equally as shitty? Hmm. You still use the same username as you did back then. The same Cure references. You haven't changed any.

Well, when your husband was 30 years old... He traveled across the state for some 15 year old pussy. He raped me. He'd forever doubt it because I'm a disgusting fat girl like I was then to him... but he did. I snuck out from my house and went to meet this psychopath. That was honestly.... The dumbest fucking thing I've ever done in my entire life.

He was talking to me for a few years prior. We met on an old chat site called "Upoc". Similar to Justin... We met in almost the same way. You started talking to me because you noticed I was from the same state as you. You knew that I just turned 14 and did not care. You started talking to me every day. You started calling me pet names. Then one day.... I told him that I loved him, and he said it back. He told me on the phone that he loved me.... and I believed it.

He controlled me. I couldn't go anywhere without him knowing. He forced me to stay on the phone with him for hours, outside, in the middle of winter while he was staring at himself in the mirror. He abused me. He'd say the most heartless and cruel shit to me... So cruel that I had enough one morning and overdosed on a bunch of pills in an attempt to kill myself. I went to school and had a freak out. I got put in a psychiatric hospital. I almost killed myself at 15 because of the words he said to me. I could've been dead right now. I almost DIED. He was being investigated because of it. A fucking 30 year old "man" telling a 15 year old girl she's a fucking worthless piece of fat shit that'll never be more than worthless shit and I should kill myself anyways because my family would be much better off without me. Telling me how fucking stupid I was. About how everything I like is shit and I should be like this and that. He'd have me hysterically crying and screaming at him through the phone to stop. He'd sit there and read me love notes from another girl he groomed and tell me how much better she was than me. He drilled that shit into my brain. I tried numerous times to kill myself because of him. He said the most cruel things imaginable to me. He made sure that I knew that nobody would ever want me. He destroyed whatever was left of my childhood and soul. I wish that I said something back then. I wish I spoke up. I wish I didn't protect him. He doesn't deserve happiness. He deserves hell for what he did to me.

[neurosioux]

Hey Justin...

You might not remember me, but I remember you. I was 14, and you were 23. We met through a Yahoo group back in the early 2000s. We were both from the same area and were both into vampires & the goth scene. You told me you loved me. You were the first person ever to show "interest" in me. You took advantage of a bullied child. You might not have thought much of it.... but those words meant everything to 14 year old me. You were my first "love". My first "boyfriend". And... my first heartbreak.

Why did you play with me? Why did you pretend to be my boyfriend? Why did you tell me that you loved me? Why did you sext me? Why did you fucking lie to me? Why did you prey upon me? Why did you continue to play along if you didn't want to have anything to do with me? Why? And why the fuck did I have to find out from MySpace that I was just a dumb fucking joke to you and your girlfriend? Do you have any idea how badly that broke my heart? Goddamn. You even went around making fun of me for being a "crazy" & "obsessed" little girl who wouldn't leave you alone? Of course I was crazy... I didn't know any better. I was ignorant. I didn't know anything and you were playing with me for shits and giggles. I desperately wanted to believe that someone wanted to be my boyfriend. That someone loved me. Like I said.... I was bullied and abused. I wanted to be loved more than anything. I would've believed anything.

I just want to say that.... Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Was stringing me along really that goddamn funny to you? I cried my fucking heart out every goddamn day. I couldn't stop crying. I was so fucking stupid, and then your disgusting girlfriend calling me an ugly child who seriously needed to get laid? I was just a fucking kid. I didn't deserve to go through that, and you didn't have to make a joke out of me.

[neurosioux]

Maybe I have brain damage from hitting myself in the head so many times. Who knows.

[neurosioux]

8:51pm. Smoking a cigarette. Another day on repeat. Another loop coming to an end. "Be kind - please rewind". Large pepperoni pizza sitting in front of me with my ashtray sitting upon it's box. Slowly putting myself in a grave. Eating and smoking my way to a fate that I'm too pathetic to greet in an instance. Why? I often think that. Why me? Why is my brain trying to kill me? Why am I craving the grave so desperately? Why can nobody hear my screams? Why am I so alone? What d id I do? I have so much regret and remorse for all the pain I've caused others due to my own suffering. I am truly.... sorry. I think about you all the time. Your faces still haunt me. The guilt weighing heavily upon my soul. Surely... It cannot rain forever right? One day this will all be better? I "pray" for that every day, and... I pray for you. Please. Save me. I beg. I plead. I scream. I cry. I'd give anything for you to see me. For you to hear my soul calling out to you from this void. Help me..... Help. I cannot keep doing this. I'm losing my mind. Am I even real? Or am I just a corrupted program desperately trying to break free from this simulation? This is hell, girl. This is my hell. This is my burden to bear

[neurosioux]

I want to stand up and feel all of their cum dripping down my pussy lips and down my thighs. I want to touch myself and feel what a used up slut I am. Please daddy. Save me.... All this could be yours.

[neurosioux]

I truly would make that fantasy a reality if given a chance.... Multiple men fucking me over and over. Cumming balls deep in my womb. Making me their whore. Doing whatever they want to me.... All in a competition to claim me as their own. My pussy is fucking drenched. Fuck I NEED this.

[neurosioux]

I might be a slightly older model.... but I'm basically brand new and this pussy is worth every single problem I give you. You will experience heaven inside of me.

[neurosioux]

I want to be blind folded and gang banged. I don't want to know who's fucking me. I just want to experience all the different cocks without looks interfering. The goal of each male is for them to make me fully submit to them. For them to fuck me as good as possible. The man who fucks me the best.... Gets to keep me as his little fuck toy. My only wish being for him to take care of me and make sure I'm safe.

[neurosioux]

Wanna know who I'd love to get fucked by? Ice Cube. I know that man knows how to beat pussy up.

[neurosioux]

Definitely one of my top fantasies....

I want a man with a huge tongue to take an acid tab and then stick his tongue in my pussy. Bonus points if he has a thick cock. Mm. What I wouldn't give to have this little pussy destroyed right now.... I could cry, but oh well ... I got this pizza to destroy! Can't be sad with a large pepperoni sitting on my bed.

[neurosioux]

Nah... For real though. Nic Cage can stick his Willy in my Wonderland any day.

[neurosioux]

Mentally I am male.

Physically I am female.

I suck pussy and eat dick.

I'm a top notch bitch.

[neurosioux]

If I pass away tonight and someone from the future reads all this and thinks "what the fuck?" You're goddamn right what the fuck... What the fuck am I thinking? I'm just a lonely ass girl who done fucked up. I must've inhaled one too many of my own farts in this life because.... Damn. I'm sitting here talking to myself with my other personalities while the real me sits in the backseat crying like a little bitch. I'm one fruit short of a whole fucking fruit loop distribution center. Save a bitch. Please.

[neurosioux]

Pound this pussy like a drum. Hard and fast til it's numb. Bitch you know I'm tighter than a nun.

[neurosioux]

Next man in my life better eat this pussy like it's his last fucking meal because GODDAMN I need to cum