never-bored-on-internet - Tumblr blog

[never-bored-on-internet]

Honestly as you're that miserable with me, that angry around me, and that quick to shout you should stay with Jack. Solves the problem

For two days I was waiting to you to apologise properly to my face but now I know why it didn't come.

I deserve better than being screamed at, I deserve better than a man who has no respect for me and lies and cheats. I deserve better than someone who sees every suggestion or question as criticism or an attack.

I deserve better than someone who even now despite many requests does not fullfil my kinks but constantly pushes the boundaries of theirs. I deserve someone I can actually say this shit to without repercussion or being screamed at.

I deserve someone who actually gives a shit when I'm struggling too. I deserve someone who doesn't put all of their mental health responsibilities on me.

I deserve someone who doesn't lie and hide money and mistakes, nor what they spend it on. I deserve to be happy.

[never-bored-on-internet]

It's always the same. Just... Being alone. Mind and soul

[never-bored-on-internet]

I miss you and I can't even tell you

[never-bored-on-internet]

why do i care so much? you don’t.

[never-bored-on-internet]

i am so bad at letting go,

even when it’s tearing me apart

what a pair we make

a girl who’s too easily attached

a boy who moves on too fast

but now i know

nothing will ever be good enough for you

and i am no exception

[never-bored-on-internet]

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[never-bored-on-internet]

Excerpt from “Uninhabitable” by Sierra DeMulder ✨

[never-bored-on-internet]

“I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold hearted. I’m like a collection of paradoxes.”

— Ferdinand de Saussure

[never-bored-on-internet]

The urge to just leave gets stronger every time. Everytime I feel overwhelmed, and alone, and stuck. I want to run and run. Just because I'm sick of it, the responsibility and feeling stuck. That I can't go to the shop without over an hour of getting ready, the mental preparation, the guilt, and the urge to be a good parent. The fact I can never have a night away, not just because I am alone and have no one to go out with, but because I have someone who needs me. I can't have a night of fun without planning bottles, and feedings, and nap times. Without who will look after him, can they handle it, what will they struggle with. And even then... It would be just one night. Just one night of freedom. I'm trapped in a life I chose for myself, stretching behind me, and endless years ahead of me.

And I'm told to be grateful, I'm told to be blessed. That at least I have him.

I just want someone to think about me, beyond the basics. Someone to show it, without me having to beg and cry for the affection. I want someone to care enough about me to listen to and see what I need, and then actually give it. I sound and feel ungrateful. I have a home. I have a family. I just don't have happiness and I don't see it coming back.

I don't have someone to talk to, without judgement and restraint. Who won't get angry at me for what I've said. Or make me feel bad for feeling how I feel. I want freedom of feeling and a little freedom of life.

More than anything, I want someone to talk to other than this fucking app.

[never-bored-on-internet]

I am just... Sad and alone with nowhere to go

[never-bored-on-internet]

“Remember that you were art long before he came to admire you, and you’ll continue to be art even when he’s gone. A masterpiece is still a masterpiece when the lights are off, and the room is empty.”

— Charlotte Beier

[never-bored-on-internet]

do men have any idea how HOT it is when they’re gentle…..DO THEY??????

[never-bored-on-internet]

maybe i can gaslight myself into being okay

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i think im so stressed to the point where i dont even feel stressed anymore im just waiting for everything to collapse in on itself and i stopped caring

[never-bored-on-internet]

“I didn’t know then that I was happy. I know it now, because I no longer am.”

— Fernando Pessoa, from “ Un Soir à Lima,” 17 September 1935, A Little Larger Than the Entire Universe: Selected Poems, ed. & trans. Richard Zenith (Penguin Classics, 2006)