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Everyone warns you agaist going to the supermarket hungry, but nobody tells you about the dangers of going there too full: I do not want any of these things, for I will never require any food at all!
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I feel like getting blackout drunk would fix me. reboot the system
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Everyone shut up and look at this carving of a whale from the 1200-600 CE Chumash culture

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Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.
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The problem with getting popsicles is then you have popsicles in the house and every time you feel bad (mentally, physically,) you think “well why shouldn’t I have a popsicle about it”
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at the grocery store i bought 2 limes and a lemon and the checker said to me "two limes and a lemon... Anything could happen"
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Imagine you have your 15 minutes of fame as a national hero and you write a nice little memoir and they even make a movie where Tom Hanks plays you and you move on with your life and spent over a decade fading back into anonymity and then out of the blue some twisted fuck gets his hands on your story does this on national television

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Turn the music down please. I need to say something. I just wanted to say they sang this on glee
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after three months of not making any plans and calculating every movement to see if it was worth it it’s absolutely wild to be well again. I have so much time and energy now. what am I going to do with it all. I’m just spinning in circles
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my favourite thing about the X Files is that time they ended an episode with Scully crying in a confessional booth saying 'I'm afraid that God is speaking and no one's listening' and the very next episode is about killer cockroaches
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This is literally my favourite line in the Fight The Future script, nothing can truly top this
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