newl0ndonfire - Tumblr blog

[newl0ndonfire]

[newl0ndonfire]

this too shall pass

[newl0ndonfire]

everyone says how harry would do numbers on tumblr and ignores how kim would Also absolutely do numbers on tumblr

he said this. in the crime scene. straight up "hitting it". and by "it", haha, well. lets just say. the crime

[newl0ndonfire]

picture this, i give you a glass bottle and tell you to open it, but bottle openers are forbidden, how do you do it?

[newl0ndonfire]

[newl0ndonfire]

please picture a dragon. now, imagine it loafing like a cat. hunkered. legges in tight beneath. tail tucked close. eyes half lidded. front feets and claws curled under.

please image this dragon

[newl0ndonfire]

may the 1th be with you lol

[newl0ndonfire]

Where were you in 1813?

robbing stagecoaches out west

[newl0ndonfire]

my mom was trying to chew through some really tough steak and she turned to me and said “just call me The Gnawer.” she would do numbers here

[newl0ndonfire]

Can you please elaborate on the Stephen Colbert RPF thing. This is a judgment free zone I’m just deathly curious

Ah yes well you see Stephen Colbert used to play a parody of a Fox News pundit on a show called The Colbert Report (American news satire program popular in the late 00s/early 10s). The character was explicitly a closeted gay man who was driven to conservatism due to his own insecurity/internalized homophobia. He had a homoerotic relationship with Jon Stewart whom he pretended to hate but had several romantic moments with.

When their shows ended they wrote a soft epilogue for their fictionalized selves where they retire to a cabin in the woods together and it’s implied they’re married now. The most beautiful self-written rpf of all time.

It was a beautiful slow burn self-written rpf that unfolded over, like, 10 years they worked together? It started as a joke but ended up being a genuine canon part of the fictionalized Stephen Colbert? I’m not joking.

[newl0ndonfire]

We finally did it, y’all! We’re married 💍

[newl0ndonfire]

magic=gay interpretation is all well and good but personally i think being gay in camelot is actually fine because uther's so focused on getting rid of magic he doesn't really care about anything else. like that politician from australia but with magic instead of crocodiles

[newl0ndonfire]

[newl0ndonfire]

the idea of public restrooms as "women's spaces" continues to confound me. you know who I hope is in a public bathroom when I go in?? no one. I would prefer no one else be in the bathroom. and if someone else is in the bathroom I am going to ignore them as much as possible. I did not go into the bathroom to connect with other women. I went into the bathroom to piss and/or shit. it's a toilet's space, not a women's space. shut the fuck up and let trans people piss and shit in peace. let's all continue to avoid eye contact with each other and any and all interaction in the toilet's space.

[newl0ndonfire]

[newl0ndonfire]

Tolkien is having his first ever egg. It’s. Not going well.

[newl0ndonfire]

I genuinely believe that some people could encounter a button that says “if you push this button everyone in the world has the opportunity to live a better life and your life remains exactly the same” and they would not push it.

They’d be like “well that button’s not fair to me, though,” even though there’s literally no other buttons around and nothing newly bad would happen to them if the button was pushed.