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niahxo · 6 months

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une journée a trois ➻ k.mbappe

summary – they had always been two. but now that they were about to be three, they were starting a new journee. the path of parenthood. ah, the joy of pregnancy

pairing – kylian mbappé x amara imani (oc)

warnings – a somewhat detailed description of childbirth, pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, labor, breastfeeding

word count — 10.1k

author's note – i guess this is my last official chapter for the mon amour series before i am officially starting my trent fic and the first spin off to this series. i will also be taking mon amour to wattpad where i'll add some more social media since here it came a bit short. there will be a lot of redecorating for my fics in the next time. as a heads-up: i don't know anything about childbirth, my entire knowledge is from google so i am very sorry if i got something wrong. hope you enjoy <3

( masterlist )

it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. she liked to have her life planned out to the finest detail. she wasn’t organized to the smallest but she liked to live her life in a certain order. so this was not supposed to happen now. there was no in-between for her situation. either women were happy or their lives were destroyed right now. and yet she found herself between the two scenarios.

she had been careful. she had put her career first and it had worked in every damn relationship she had ever had (which had not been a lot). she had made it clear that the success of her career was the most important thing and after the whole evan fiasco, she had sworn to herself that no matter how many times she fell in love, she would never lose sight again of her priorities. and it had worked till now.

it was a small mistake that led to her situation now. a moment of a certain emotional weakness that was the reason why she found herself in the bathroom on the floor with her back leaning against the bathtub as she stared into nothing.

kylian had introduced her to a new world of love. one where longing became sometimes too hard and the moment they found each other again, all rational thoughts were thrown out the window. he had shown her what love really felt like and that it was so much more than just endless fights and screaming matches. so… of course she had lost sights of her priorities and acted after her emotions when her heart had missed him too much.

her situation resulted from a sudden stay in the same city. he had been there to play an important match, she had two nights in that same city to tour and overwhelm her fans with her music. it had been three months that they hadn’t seen each other in person so the moment they had known they were at the same place, all sane thoughts had been thrown out the window. they had missed each other too much to even think about anything else than be close again. feel the other again. and now, not even two months later, she found herself on the floor in the bathroom with a stick in her hand. a small piece of plastic that held the weight of the world. two small blue lines that seemed to throw everything out of order. there seemed to be life growing inside of her now.

she wasn’t crying but rather staring into the air. her eyes held no emotion as she held the positive test in her hands. somehow it didn’t seem to set in that she carried life now in her body. that someone was breathing inside her and had their own heartbeat. it appeared surreal to her. the realization that one of her biggest fears had become true.

amara didn’t fear his reaction. that was probably the least of her problems. he had always expressed his desire for children, no matter at which point in his career he would be. he would support her, no matter what. she was the problem.

there had been warnings for this situation. women with so much potential that had been destroyed or ruined because of a child. and it wasn’t just an empty warning. she had seen it with her own eyes. linda, evan’s mother, had been the proof she had needed. a beautiful woman, beautiful and intelligent — a cunning lawyer who was at the peak of her career. but her pregnancy had ruined her and had turned her into a housewife. the vision, evan had always had of her. being pregnant just before she was about to start the second leg of her tour was the most unfortunate moment, this little gift could have come. it threw all plans out of the window.

she absolutely did not want to become one of those women who were at the peak of their career and then got it ruined by an unplanned pregnancy. it was her biggest fear. especially because she was living on the high of it at the moment. everything was going well, — she was breaking record after record — and now everything was about to stop. because she knew she would never bring it over her heart to kill the small human that seemed to be growing in her. it was a part of her now. and she could never take that decision alone.

time passed and she still found herself in the same position, her mind still processing the news. she didn’t notice kylian coming home from training and calling her name. her senses picked up his smell and noticed his presence but her brain felt disconnected to the outside world. her mind was a whirlwind of conflicting and complicated thoughts she just couldn’t work through.

if he was surprised to find her in the bathroom, he didn’t show it. kylian called her name but there was no response except an occasional small hum. the room felt smaller and the atmosphere was uncomfortable with the big news looming over them.

“cherié, tout va bien?” he asked her softly, eyes filled with worry as he kneeled a bit down and remarked how hers seemed to just stare into nowhere with a numb expression in them. she didn’t find the strength in herself to say her fears out. it was paralyzing her from deeply inside and forming a big lump in her throat that prevented her from being vocal. instead she only handed him the positive test, the two lines glowing dimly under the bathroom light. — honey, is everything okay

there was a confused expression on his face that turned into a mix of shock and slight happiness. but any emotion disappeared when he was met with her expression. “this is a surprise,” he said out loud and turned towards her. “are you happy?” his question hung in the air but she couldn’t find an answer.

“i don’t know. i don’t know what i’m going to do.” she admitted, her voice quiet. there was a certain nervousness and fear that underlined her voice, portraying the weight that she carried on her shoulders now. there were so many possibilities and challenges, so many hills and rocks they would have to climb now. she wished she was fearless like all the other women that were over the moon when they got the positive news.

“i was about to leave for a whole year. the second part of my tour is starting in a month. and now i’m…” her throat became dry as the lump became bigger. the words seemed stuck, as if speaking them out would actually make it real. “i’m pregnant.”

she didn’t have to say more for kylian to understand her. that’s just how they were. he seemed to comprehend that she wasn’t mad at the pregnancy. after all, she adored children. she was amazing with them and they both knew they wanted kids. she just feared the impact it could have on her career.

“je ne sais pas quoi faire,” she mumbled under her breath, her lips barely moving. “it wasn’t supposed to happen now. everything was going soo… well, i guess. i don’t want it to end. i don’t want to lose my career.” — i don’t know what to do

he let out a sigh, his back sliding down the wall as he sat down next to her. one hand still held the positive test while the other wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist, pulling her closer to him. “why would this ruin your career? you’re the most successful artist i know. nothing could ruin this now.”

“you’re supposed to say that. but you haven’t seen that pregnancy does to women. i don’t want my career to be ruined, not with the way the world treats women. how am i supposed to be a good mum and a successful woman in the music industry?” she shook her head and put it down on his shoulder, resting it there. she appreciated his efforts to comfort her but he was a man— they would never truly understand a woman’s suffering, no matter how hard they tried.

“we could stay home both if you want that. i take a break from football and i could be home for the both of you,” he suggested and amara looked at him incredulously. it was strange for her how he had accepted it so quickly already, that they were about to be three while she still struggled to comprehend the situation.

she shook her head firmly. “i could never ask you to stop for me. i know how much you love football. it’s your life. this is a me-problem.”

“une grossese n’est pas un probleme d’une personne. tu n'es pas seule. je te promets que rien ne va se gâcher. ta carrière est remarquable est elle le sera toujours. no matter what you do,” he consoled her, pressing soft kisses on her temple. “je t’aime tellement. mais ça, c’est ta decision et tu es la seule avec le choix. soo… are you happy?” — a pregnancy is not a problem of one person. you’re not alone. i promise you, nothing is going to get ruined. your career is remarkable and will be

— i love you so much. but this is your decision and only you can take it.

she shrugged, the unexpected twist in her plans still burning through her mind. she just couldn’t understand how there was a small human being growing inside her now. something that was breathing inside her. even though it felt unreal — and all at once she knew what she was going to do. what she would have to do now. her world would revolve around that little human being now. and she would do everything in her power to love that little baby that was living inside her. even if it the feeling of surrealism would never truly leave her.

maybe her mind should have adapted to it by now but it still felt disconnected to the situation. as if she was living two lives now. they hadn’t told anyone yet, preferring to keep it their little secret for the moment. especially because they still hadn’t settled in on the idea of getting a family addition.

kylian had noticed her struggles. how she couldn’t work around it. he would find her sometimes in front of the mirror, staring at her stomach. and even then it looked like she still hadn’t made her peace with the situation. amara had come up with several excuses why she had been going softer on training and why she avoided her pr for the second leg of the tour so much at the moment. kylian seemed to have calmed her down a bit about the pregnancy but the fears and rocks it would bring still hadn’t been overcome. even more when she still didn’t feel a thorough connection to the baby in her stomach.

the first ultrasound had been their reality check. that whatever they had been dancing around, was actually happening. there was a grateful look in her eyes when kylian grabbed her hand while their doctor applied the cold gel on her. it was terrifying for her to say the least. their nurse was friendly, nice — she must have sensed amara’s nervousness with the way she had been trying to calm the singer down. it had been risky getting an appointment but kylian had made sure to be extra careful. to make sure that nothing would come out to the press. the least she needed right now was for the time that should’ve been the happiest in her life to be without any media presence.

hearing the heartbeat was a sharp reminder that they weren’t alone anymore. the sound appeared to be precise evidence of life within her, the real confirmation for her pregnancy. it was a new experience for them, a new chapter that was starting soon in their lives. the impending parenthood that was installing its way into their life. several emotions were rushing through them as they made contact for the first time with their baby. and yet, despite the huge importance of the moment, amara’s emotions refused to truly correspond to the situation because of a missing connection between her and the baby.

she looked at the ultrasound screens, her eyes specifically fixing the point the doctor had shown them was their baby. she was registering the moment but struggled to find an emotional place for it. and it wasn’t because amara didn’t love the growing human in her body enough. there was no lack of love or commitment. her brain was just going into panic mode and refused to acknowledge the incoming changes. an automatic self-defense response from her mind who thought it needed to protect her. because even if she knew her career was good, it didn’t take away her fear of having all of that ruined.

as the doctor left them to offer them some privacy, there seemed to be just them now and the sound of a heartbeat. amara didn’t have to look at kylian to know that his cheeks were probably hurting from smiling so much. that his eyes were probably a bit teary from hearing the heartbeat of their unborn child. his hand found hers and he subconsciously intertwined them, his mind still clouded by all the emotions running through his body. she smiled at him, happy to know that at least he seemed to be able to form a special memory with the moment. for her, everything still felt surreal.

and the feeling of it did not leave her, not even in the night.

they were in bed, cuddled together under blankets when amara suddenly woke up from a slight movement. she turned a bit to look at kylian but her boyfriend still seemed to sleep peacefully. as she felt it again, amara looked down and found kylian’s hand on her stomach. casually laying there all protectively. and somehow, it was exactly what she needed to realise that it would be okay.

a small smile formed on her face and she put her hand on her stomach too. this was going to happen and she would be prepared for it. she wasn’t sure whether babies could already hear but it was stronger than her. the urge to promise her baby the world.

“i don’t know whether i’m going to be a good mum to you,” she began softly, speaking low to not wake up kylian. “but i can promise you, you’ll be in good hands with your dad.” she chuckled, the thought of kylian playing with a small mini-him or mini-her exciting her. “i’m sorry that you’re stuck with a mum who doesn’t know what she wants. but i’m trying. i’m trying for you… to be the best version of myself that you’ll need.”

they began slowly, the changes. at first barely remarkable and now they were plainly obvious. life seemed to radiate from her. she possessed a kind of positive aura around her that even the blind could see. she had truly grown into the start of her pregnancy as she entered her second trimester.

amara found herself balancing her life before and during her pregnancy. she had to get used now to the fact that her body was adapting for the small human being in her stomach and that it included good and bad changes. she had overcome her struggles with the pregnancy and the lack of emotion she had had towards it. now she suddenly felt overwhelmed but happy. nearly excited to start this new chapter.

she was four months pregnant and with that also came the first differences that made this pregnancy real. that made it more than just a statement on a paper. a small, noticeable bump had formed on her stomach — it wasn’t very big but remarkably enough that it had made them nearly cry when they had seen it. now kylian’s hoodies had become her go-to attire to hide the small curve on her stomach. his sweatshirts engulfed her completely, serving as a comfortable shield for her womb and a cover up. after all, they still hadn’t told anyone and the little human growing in her body was still their secret.

and just as she progressed into her pregnancy, so did the unfortunate changes like morning sickness or strange food cravings. instead of spending her mornings in bed, spooning with her boyfriend, she now found herself hung over the toilet as soon as the sun came up, with kylian holding her hair. he whispered sweet encouragements and gentle circles which was now a habit for them every morning as she finished her first trimester to enter the second. it was exhausting, crucifying even and drained her. the doctor had told them it would stop soon but she found no change. she would just have to endure it.

even worse were the sudden food cravings. eating had already become hard enough with nothing staying in her body but her strange food cravings made it ten times worse. strawberries were her first sacrifice that came with nurturing life followed by sushi and chinese food. now even the slightest smell of take-out food had her running to the toilet. it was hard and what made it even more hard was the fact that she couldn’t ask anyone for advice other than her doctor.

they hadn’t told anyone of the pregnancy. she had canceled the second leg of her tour without any reason other than the “personal reasons” she had stated in her statement. it had been a heart-wrenching decision, stopping to travel around the world and illuminate people with her music but it was necessary. another sacrifice for her new life she was entering. they had left the world — including their own families — in the dark as they chose to live in their small pink bubble, far away from the harsh reality. amara would never admit it but she was glad. grateful that she didn’t have to share what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life with the world. she wanted it to be their private little moment.

pregnancy did not only change the way they lived. it changed them completely. amara knew kylian loved her but he had changed his love language. he had gone from sweet words and giving gifts to affection and touching her constantly. it had started small, with small caresses on her back and intertwining their hands subconsciously to gentle circles drawn on her hands now soft strokes. and most of them were always centered around her stomach. it was his new way of expressing his unconditional love that was now not only directed towards her but also towards the tiny life growing inside her. they had adapted to parenthood together and it made her fall in love even more.

especially when he talked to their small little miracle when he thought she was asleep. it had started as small confessions towards their baby and had turned into full one-sided conversations now. it warmed her heart when she listened to him, heard how he expressed some of his fears — that amara found were completely unreasonable— and talked about how excited he was. no matter which gender their little bundle of joy would have. only they mattered to them, her, him and the small unborn baby. their bubble was complete.

but the couple knew that their bubble would burst soon and they would rather be the ones to do it than an outsider. after spending one month at home, shielded from the outside, she had decided to come out. and her first official appearance was no other place than kylian’s match. her parents had surprised her with a visit and both knew, they couldn’t hide it any longer now. they hadn’t exactly spoken about a way they would announce it but it was clear that they would have to share it with their families now.

along with her parents she was seated in their usual reserved spots for the families of the players, next to them kylian’s parents and his brother with his children. she played with kylian’s nephew, bouncing him on her lap while her mind wandered off to thinking about how it would be in a few months. when she would be cheering him on with their small bundle of joy.

their eyes met and she watched his smile grow bigger as he spotted her with his nephew — no doubt, the same image of her with their baby was running through his mind. again, there was an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement. amara turned to her mother, who had redirected a question towards her, wondering why her daughter was glowing so positively. and all she could do was grin. they would know later.

though later appeared to be very close as their secrecy came to an end with the opening score. he had hit a beautiful goal after dribbling his way through the penalty area and instead of hitting his usual celebration, he went for the ball. there were shocked gasps around her along with a roar of cheer when he ran around with the ball under his shirt and sent a heart her way. everyone instantly put the pieces together — after all there weren’t many possibilities what it could signify — and immediately they all turned towards her.

“don’t tell me…” her mother trailed off in shock and amara nodded, grinning widely.

“surprise,” she exclaimed, a cheeky smile adorning her face. she lifted the sweatshirt a bit and revealed her four-month old belly that she had been hiding for the past month now.

fayza immediately pulled her into a hug, kissing amara’s temple gently. “félicitation ma fille. oh je suis tellement contente.” — congraulation, my daughter. i’m soo happy

one by one, they hugged her, all expressing their felicitations. even the others that were around to support their player on the pitch threw a happy congratulations towards her.

“how far along are you?” her father asked her, pulling his daughter in for another hug.

she smiled into the hug, the feeling of home spreading through her body. “nearly five months now. i finished my first trimester a few weeks ago.”

“now it makes sense why you couldn’t go out with me,” alice realized and amara sent a wink in her direction.

“how could you keep this from us?” her mother asked in a shocked tone, looking at her daughter incredulously. “amaghị m ma m ga-akụ gị maka idobere m ya ka ọ bụ naanị nwee obi ụtọ. ihe a abughi ihe i zonari nne gi ada.” — i don't know whether i'm supposed to hit you for keeping it from me or just be happy. this is not something you hide from your mother.

amara shrugged. “it was our little secret.”

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by liyah_clark, achrafhakimi and 26.304.752 others

amara.imani secret is finally out. the reason i had to cancel the second leg of my tour. i’ll back soon but in the meantime, baby imani-mbappé is coming

view all 293.753 comments

liyah_clark the audacity to not tell your best friends that we’re becoming aunts

graceywood can’t believe she hid it from us 😔, i think we don’t mean anything to her anymore

amara.imani I APOLOGIZED ALREADY

amara.imani i even told you the gender, what more do you want?

username project mbappe is officially starting

username man really said, i’m starting my own mini-me

psg félicitation a vous deux ❤️💙

equipedefrance félicitation de toute l'équipe de france

username news of the year

antogriezmann félicitation mon frère

sza i can’t waittttt

kipembe3 la bébé de la team va avoir un bébé, trop hâte

paulpogba kyks le daron, qui aurait cru

cynthia_e so excited to become an aunt to this angel

username please say sike

username i don’t wanna lose my (imaginal) wife

username omg now it makes sense why she was always spotted in sweatshirts

kehlani ohh i’m gonna be auntie kehlani soon 🥹

charles_leclerc new member to the amara imani squad

landonorris best news of the week

graceywood auntie grace is ready for her duties

liyah_clark auntie liyah and uncle charles report for duties too

username i’m not even mad anymore she canceled her tour

username fr, i’m too excited for this

achrafhakimi finally. it was so hard keeping it a secret and not telling you i knew

amara.imani how did you know?

achrafhakimi you never decline a glass of red wine

username omg they’re gonna be parents 🥹🥹

tchaga_ felicitations a vous deux. je vous souhaite le meilleur

k.mbappe 🫶🏾

the news had spread like a wildfire and even people who weren’t interested in the football or music industry knew that amara imani was pregnant. their names had been mentioned in every article for three weeks straight, wondering over the gender of the baby and when exactly it could maybe arrive. her phone was now silent everyday to drown out the constant vibrations of notifications. it was spammed with articles and posts mentioning her — everyone had something to say about her pregnancy.

even players she hadn’t ever interacted with had slid into her dms to wish her and kylian well. not to forget the french national team who had called to congratulate them as well. they had instantly launched a group call, to also include those who played overseas and wished their two friends well. everyone bombarded her with questions about the impending arrival of their baby — their new protégé as they liked to call it now. a warm feeling spread through her body as she thought about the way, their baby already had so many uncles that loved their coming bundle and would help them. they were a big family after all.

as she advanced in her pregnancy and her bump grew bigger, kylian also grew more protective around her. he didn’t allow her to lift a finger to do anything around the house anymore except go to pee. he cooked now and send his mother to drop off food when he was busy or away for a game. his chauffeur had now become something like their housekeeper, occasionally checking in on her when she was home alone. kylian had even hired her a personal shopper that would go shopping for her when she didn’t feel like online shopping. he was doing everything to protect her from doing too much.

and amara understood where he was coming from so she couldn’t even be mad at him. after their latest doctor’s appointment, where they had been told that there was a risk of giving birth prematurely, her own fears had reappeared again. they had never truly left her but now they were living in her brain again. her pregnancy had already been complicated with her uterus apparently refusing to grow to give the baby more space. she had been told it was a protective response of her body after a certain kind of trauma she must have endured — a trauma that her body now refused to live again so it took protective measures. she had been ordered two weeks of bed rest and after that, to do the most to go easy on her body. spare it from hard work.

seven months into what should have been the happiest time of her life and she found herself afraid of her own body and what could happen if she gave birth prematurely. she had worked through the fears concerning her career and now she would have to manage the fears of not being ready to give birth.

and adding to that fear that hovered over her now, pregnancy had also become harder for her. what had seemed to be a small curve before now looked like a midsized watermelon shoved into her stomach. the toll on her body became more prominent now — daily ingestions of vitamins, eating twice the amount of what pregnant women usually consumed — measures like that had become routines for her. she had been warned of a complicated pregnancy but none of what she had been told measured up to what she was feeling.

nonetheless, her pregnancy was also marked with good moments, happy moments where both just got ready for parenthood. moments that had put light on the situation they were living in at the moment. painting the room had been a day where they had created lots of memories they cherished. the singer had been visiting friends of hers who had been staying in the city of love and had come home to find kylian with a screwdriver in his hand while achraf was reading him the instructions for the crib.

“you’re supposed to put it like this.”

“i’m doing that. it won’t go in.”

the two hadn’t even noticed her arrival their focus laying purely on the crib. turned out, he had left training early and had dedicated the entire day to constructing the crib and getting the room finished. her heart had grown twice its size that day. there were so many memories they had already created in that room (looking past their messy make-out session because she was feeling horny) and painting the room of their coming bundle of joy was just an addition to that.

the realization of parenthood and their new addition to the family had somehow wriggled into their lives. during her first trimester, she had pushed the thought of pregnancy at the back of her head, hoping to procrastinate everything that concerned it. now she was excited for the arrival of their little bean and was planning each detail as finely as she could. they were navigating their way around it with the new flow of emotions they were experiencing. as she progressed and her bump became bigger, so got the question about the name their unborn child would carry. it was clear to both of them that their baby would not carry a double-name; they held no importance if the only place where they appeared was on official documents. they would settle on a single name their baby would be known through the world.

he had the entire world scream his name and wear it on their shirts to express their support for him, she had people sing her music all over the world and express themselves to it. both names carried big weighs all around the world and no matter which name it got, there would always be expectations that would have to be reached. yet she sensed that it was more important for him — the matter of the name. so they chose mbappé for their last name. but the problem of the forename still linged.

that’s how they found themselves awake in bed at four in the morning with the question of the name preventing them from sleeping (in addition to amara craving for tacos at two in the morning). they were surrounded by baby name books while their phones had websites for baby names open.

“what do we think of kylian mbappe jr?” he proposed jokingly, grinning at her as he stole another of her sweet potato fries.

she rolled her eyes. “of course, why not? and while we’re already at it, why not instantly start project mbappe and put it into the academy instantly after i give birth?”

he held his hands up on surrender. “it was just a suggestion.”

“a stupid one,” a small giggle left her lips as she declines his proposition. she was kind of glad that he wasn’t stressing so much about the pregnancy as much as she was now. one of them needed to be the easy parent and she knew it was just in her nature to be the stricter person.

“what about… malouanne ?” he read out loud from his phone which earned him a pillow thrown his way. “what? it’s a mix of the names marie, louise and anne. fits perfectly if you ask me.”

“as beautiful as the name may sound, do you want our kid to be bullied at school?” amara instantly retorted back, continuing to read in her book to find a name.

that was how they spend the night, searching for names that would fit their little human and create their identity. the question of the name was always a difficult one because somehow nothing seemed to fit. nothing was enough for their baby. they were looking for a name that just screamed their bundle of joy; that upon hearing it would immediately make them think of it.

“should we add a middle name?” he asked her, putting his phone down to look at her. his hand instantly placed itself on her stomach, stroking it gently. “should we give you a middle name,” he asked softly towards the stomach. a smile made its way on his face when he felt a kick at the spot where his hand laid and amara hissed slightly.

“i think we need a middle name,” kylian told her slyly. “our little bean clearly agrees with me.”

“they agrees on everything with you. i swear i have a daddy’s girl in my stomach.”

her boyfriend grinned at her, cradling her stomach. “well, they are their father’s child” his grin widened when he felt a kick again.

she shook her head in disbelief but knew he was right. bidding him goodnight and placing a last small kiss on his lips, she waltzed a bit around to find the perfect position to sleep in. with her belly growing, so did the matter of finding a good position to sleep in but the huge pregnancy pillow that kylian had bought her seemed to help. still it didn’t take away the ordeal of finding the position. she was nearly asleep, her mind already drifting away when kylian finally closed the books and turned off the light. his hand wrapped around her waist to feel closer to her as he got comfortable in bed.

she had nearly missed his suggestion, already dozing off when she heard his voice. it was barely above a whisper but loud enough to hear.

“i think ada would suit her perfectly as a middle name in case it’s a girl. the perfect mix of you. and you said you wanted to honor your mother.”

needless to say that she fell asleep with a smile on her face. one problem less now in what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life.

a sharp pain shot through her body. she had been seated on the couch, excitingly watching kylian play when suddenly all she could focus on was the feeling of agony that spread through her body. she tries to ignore it but it’s stronger than her. her hands immediately go down to hold her bump as she leans forward, pain rushing through her entire body and making it impossible to think. her mind is consumed with the feeling of crucifying agony and she can’t think of anything else.

as quick as it comes, it subsided again and she takes a deep breath, trying to regain her composure— before it starts all over again. her first thoughts are that she’s experiencing preparation labor — the famous braxton hicks, that her doctor had warned her of and that she had been victim to during her seventh month. but this pain felt different. the match had been long forgotten as she found herself on the floor, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. her body felt weak, too heavy for her to carry to even try to sit up. the salty substance of her eyes had already started to stain the white carpet and she was able to taste her tears. her eyes travel around the room, as she looks for her phone and desperation fills her as she sees it on the other side of the room, charging. she tries to get up, to at least manage to crawl to it but another pain prevented her.

her eyes close, too weak to have them open as soft sobs leave her trembling lips. she’s wallowing in pain, hoping that someone will find her; that kylian will come home soon. she had always been afraid of giving birth in bad conditions, especially as she was early and her due date was supposed to be in two weeks. her arms wrapped around her stomach as she tried to comfort herself by whispering sweet encouragements, hoping that they would at least help her calm down a bit. but the pain did not leave her.

she doesn’t know how long she’s suffering in agonizing pain when she suddenly hears the apartment door opening and someone entering. pearls of sweat are running down her forehead as she’s compressed to the floor, her arms hugging her belly close to her. the solitude had amplified her situation, made it worse as fears had taken over her mind; the fear of having to give birth alone. and she couldn’t be mad at kylian. after all, the due date was supposed to be in two weeks and even that was much earlier than expected. she tries to ignore the pain and at least try to lift her head to see who just came in but the waves of pain that stream through her body are stronger. like electric waves rushing through her body and hitting her everywhere.

it’s his driver that gives her a bit of hope again when she hears his voice. he immediately rushed towards her, kneeling down as he took in the scene.

“i don’t… i don’t want to give birth..” she managed to croak out, pain preventing her from speaking clearly. her voice was filled with agony as small sobs left her lips. "je veux kylian.” — i want kylian

there was no hesitation, no time to panic or doubt. she was sobbing as she tried to catch her breath while he swiftly retrieved his phone to dial the emergency services. while his other hand held the phone, the other was softly stroking her back, hoping to transfer some solace to her. a bystander would have interpreted the scene in front of them completely different but right now, it comforted amara. calmed her down knowing she wasn’t going through this alone anymore.

he also called kylian but he soon realized it was of little avail, when his eyes caught the screen where the camera had just zoomed on the french striker. the feeling of desperation now seemed to have caught onto him too as he quickly grabbed amara’s phone to place another urgent call. this time to his brother who had not been selected for the match. their call was not very long, only sharing the most important details. his heart lightened a bit when he saw the sudden substitution of kylian. but the feeling of relief was as quickly gone as it came when his eyes fell on the woman next to him, who seemed to take the pain harder with every second that passed.

staying conscious started to become hard for her. she felt a bit of relief when the medics had finally arrived, instantly carrying her to bring her to the closest hospital. but he was still not there and it freaked her out. she couldn’t give birth alone. not without him. there was chaos around her, several voices as she was rushed into the hospital and yet her brain only focused on one thought: she needed him here. she had been put into a private room to not attire a lot of attention as they were aware of her identity. they had told her she would soon be ready for the next phase of this journey but she didn’t want to start it. not without him so even though her body was killing her, she held onto the pain till he would be there.

they tried to calm her down as her contractions intensified but it was to no avail. she needed him to be there and hold her hand. be her sanctuary to guide her through her fears. every reassurance that was spoken to her didn’t mean anything to her cause they weren’t whispered by his lips. she wanted him and no one else.

kylian had instantly run to the changing rooms to get his things as soon as he had been informed of the news. there was confusion at first, when he suddenly saw his number on the changing boards but the small explanation from his coach was enough to suddenly hug enrique and rush out as quickly as possible.

there was no time to care about any traffic rules. she was more important. they were what mattered now. short messages had been sent to his families to inform them of the situation before he ran into the hospital, looking to support his girlfriend during this important moment. he didn’t care whether he hadn’t parked right or how many speed limits he had crossed, all he wanted was to hold amara’s hand.

from the reception desk he had instantly been taken to her room where he rushed to her and engulfed her into a close hug. he had seen her in so many states before but this was new to him. unknown territory like each time he went to play on an adversary’s side that he had never crossed paths with. his heart hurt as he took in her appearance; her face scrunched together because of the crucifying pain, the sweat pearls that rolled down her face along with her tears and the small sobs that left her trembling lips. amara was truly in pain.

“t’es- tu est la…” she managed to croak out before another sharp flash of pain shot through her, making her scream in agony. — you’re … here

he wiped her tears from her face and pressed a soft kiss onto her cheek, able to taste the salty taste of her tears. his heart broke as he thought about all the time she must have spent here without anyone close to her and in pain. she had always been scared of facing labor alone, just the thought of it made her doubt everything but he had always been able to calm her down. promises had been exchanged when she had longed for the reassurance that no matter what came, he would always be there for her— in this moment. she would never have to go through this alone.

“je suis venu le plus vite possible,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. hoping that the solace and feeling of warmth the act usually transferred would calm her down a bit. she cried again, this time though she wasn’t sure whether it was due to his presence or the pain that her body had to endure at the moment. — i came as quick as possible

he lifted their intertwined hands to meet his lips and pressed a kiss on it. “je te l’avais promis. je serai là.” — i promised you. i will be there.

she nodded, another contraction hitting her and preventing her from speaking. her body was overwhelmed with emotions; pain, fear. comfort all present in her body. a bit of solace had been found from kylian being there but the feeling disappeared when the doctor came in agan. when she announced that it was showtime and should have to push now. there was no going back, no time to have second thoughts. it was all happening in this instant now.

labor was hard. jolts of pain were shooting through her body in short periods and each time she had to push through them. she didn’t care if the entire hospital heard her screams or whether she was breaking kylian’s entire hand with the amount of force she was squeezing it. she couldn’t see anything except pain. and what her desperate even more was the fact that nothing seemed to change.

the nurses and doctors were telling her that she was doing a fantastic job but she still felt as if she hadn’t even pushed once. as if nothing had changed. no matter how much she pressed.

“you’re doing so well ma belle,” kylian encouraged her as another of her screams pierced through the room. “you’re so close.”

“why doesn’t it feel like this?” she yelled out in pain, tears streaming down her cheeks. she was hot, her forehead was sweaty and her body felt weak. she couldn’t push anymore.

“miss, you’re nearly done. we can already see the head,” their doctor tried to motivate her. “we just need two more big pushes.”

her surroundings drowned out as she gathered all the strength that was left in her body to push. everything around her became blurry, colors, shapes, persons. her mind was too tired to make her sight clear and she had no energy left anymore to try to focus.

“we need one last push,” they called out to her as she nearly broke down on the bed.

“i’m tired, ky,” she cried tiredly. her eyes barely open. she looked desperately at him. “it hurts so much. i can’t do it anymore. i just want this to be over but it hurts so much,” her sobs left her body and his heart ached as he listened to her.

“t’es la femme la plus courageuse que je connais. et je vais pas te mentir, je ne sais pas dans quelle douleur tu es. mais je sais que tu es la seule à pouvoir le faire. bientôt on aura notre bébé dans le main. one last push and it’s over, okay?” their eyes mirrored every emotion present in the room. the fatigue but also the exhaustion. pain but also love: there was everything. — you’re the strongest woman i know. and i won't lie to you, i don’t know what the pain you’re in feels like. but i know you’re the only one who can do it. soon we’ll have our baby in our hands.

amara nodded as she took a deep breath to push again. she’s clutching kylian’s hand with every last remaining strength as he continues to encourage her. the pain she’s feeling now was much higher than what she experienced the last five hours. suddenly she feels everything. as if her senses have been amplified. there was a sharp pain accompanied by an agonizing scream and suddenly there's a new voice in the room.

she’s asked to hold her arms out as kylian’s eyes fill with tears and all of sudden she’s holding her baby. their little girl. the joy of their life they’ve been dying to meet.

her eyes are filled with tears as the realization hit her. all the pain is suddenly forgotten, as if it never existed. now her body’s only consumed with happiness. she’s crying hysterically as her baby continues to let out cries. the sign of life. that everything was going well. she didn’t need to look at him to know that he was crying as well.

every of her muscles is feeling exhausted when they take their new child away to do its first medical care. kylian himself wasn’t one to often feel very emotional but when he had been asked to cut the chord that had connected amara and their bundle of joy for nine months. she’s finally here and he suddenly understood the feeling of surrealism that amara had told him about.

after the first checks had been done, their daughter had been placed into her arms again. and somehow she must have had still some liquid in her body as her eyes began to water again when she truly held her daughter for the first time.

“she doesn’t seem like a faith,” amara whispered, holding her daughter who was covered in a soft, fluffy, pink blanket. she had opened her eyes for the first time and again, a few years left her eyes when she stared into her daughter’s beautiful eyes. they had her eye shape but all she saw looking into them was kylian. she had inherited her father’s eyes. the fact that she could reference to kylian as dad now spread a new kind of warmth through her body.

“no. it kinda feels wrong,” he agreed. as he gently trailed a finger over her delicate face, he couldn’t help but fall more in love with the woman in front of him. he had always known that he would always love her, no matter in which reality they found themselves. and he had fallen in love with every one of her versions. and now he found himself falling for her new role. he had fallen deeply for amara in her role as mom. he couldn’t believe he had ever doubted. she was perfect. “what was the second name we chose again?”

“are you talking about anaïs?”

kylian’s smile grew bigger as he continued to stare at his daughter. he had learned the meaning of infinite love with amara but the term of unconditional love. it was this small human that taught him what it meant. what people were talking about when they talked about loving someone unconditionally. “yeah. i think she looks more like an anaïs.”

and looking at her, amara understood. she had stopped crying and was looking at her, as if she was taking in her new surroundings. she had been removed from the safe comfort of her mother’s womb and had now to get used to the outside. “anaïs-ada mbappe. welcome into the world.”

she pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before turning to look at kylian and both smiled. they had done it.

“t’es prête papa?” she asked him teasingly and motioned for him to step closer. “take off your shirt. it’s your time now.” — are you ready papa

she was tired. exhausted. there was fatigue written all over her face and yet her face still wore a smile as she watched kylian take off his shirt to have his first skin-to-skin with their daughter. he gently took anaïs out of her hands and sat down on the bed next to her.

he had her cradled against his chest, the warmth of his chest spreading was a connection between them. an expression of love sacred to only them. their phones were vibrating but they ignored it. only their little family mattered now. “salut ma princesse,” he whispered to her softly as she wrapped her hand around his finger. “moi, je suis ton papa. et je t’aime tellement.” — hello my princess. i’m your dad. and i love so much.

their tiny miracle was held in his warm embrace as time around them seemed to pause. no one else existed in their bubble that shielded them from reality going on outside. it was only them. and somehow, as they held their daughter in their hands, the idea of parenthood didn’t seem so scary anymore. amara fell happily asleep, knowing that they were going to do this chapter together.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

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k.mbappe bienvenue au monde anaïs mbappé

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it was their first day at home. and with the first day also came the first night and the first cries.

it still felt so unreal to them how they had left their home as two and had come back with another person. their family addition that represented the proof of their love. putting her down for the first time in her room filled the air with a warm atmosphere. there was so much love around them as she placed anaïs in her bed after putting her to sleep. a small light of the nightlight they had bought cast a yellowish glow around the room, revealing a few of the fine details they had put into the room. their eyes did not leave their daughter, they were too much in awe of what they had created.

she’s woken up by anaïs’ soft cries in the night. a quick glance at the small clock next to the bed told her it was just one in the morning. she’s tired and every bone is begging her to stay in bed but her motherly intuition prevents her. turning, she saw kylian still sleeping profoundly next to her as she gets up to calm down their daughter.

“you’re hungry, aren’t you,” she asked her daughter in a gentle tone as she picked the small baby up and sat down with her on an armchair next to the crib. she thanked kylian’s brilliance for having had the idea of installing one next to the crib. “ça va, maman est là. maman va s’occuper de toi,” she soothed anaïs’ cries as she got ready to feed the little human in her arms. — it’s okay, mummy here. mummy is gonna take care of you

just as she had predicted, hunger had been the cause for her awakening as she watched anais latch onto her breasts, hands grabbing onto each side. her cries quickly subsided as the little girl got fed while amara tenderly stroked her cheek. she waited for a bit longer after making sure anais had burped and rocked her little princess back to sleep before joining her own bed again. she couldn’t even find it in herself to be mad at the way kylian was sleeping so profoundly, as if he hadn’t heard her cries. it was her first time experiencing motherly intuition and tending to her responsibilities. she placed a soft peck on his forehead before falling asleep again, her mind drifting away before she had even truly placed down her head on the pillow.

the second time anais woke up, it was kylian who tended to her needs. amara stirred, ready to get up but the french striker tells her to go back to sleep. that she was already exhausted enough and her body needed some rest. after changing her diaper, he instantly took off his shirt before picking up his daughter and putting her close to his chest. immediately her cries stopped when she felt her father’s warmth and comfort as his fingers gently brushed against her head. they stood in the same position for the next thirty minutes before anais fell asleep again, their small bond blossoming through moments like this. amara’s still heavily asleep when he slips back into bed again, wrapping his arm around her waist to find sleep again.

but his sleep didn't last for very long before they heard her cries again. this time though they had managed to find three more hours to sleep with the clock indicating that it was already eight in the morning. amara was about to get up to look after their daughter when kylian grabbed her hand, motioning for her to stay in bed.

“you went last time,” amara muttered tiredly, already looking for her slippers but kylian shook his head.

“go back to sleep cherie,” he interjected, putting a shirt on. “you need it more than me.”

“your holidays are over tomorrow. if anyone needs sleep it’s you.”

he shrugged, standing up and ready to go look after anais. “and you just gave birth a week ago. repose toi un peu,” he convinced her and she nodded, knowing it was useless to argue with him. she gave him a last kiss before closing her eyes again, fatigue instantly taking over. she didn’t know what had been the matter this time but since her cries quickly stopped at the sight of her father, she knew he had everything under control, her instincts could relax as she slept a bit more. — get some rest

she woke up to an empty bed the next morning. it’s the feeling of coldness next to her that managed to bring her out of her sleep even though she was still tired. she knows that kylian must be around somewhere with anaïs but she enjoyed staying in bed for the first time since she gave birth. regain all her forces.

there was an instant smile on her face when she saw her daughter in kylian’s hands while walking out their bedroom. her heart grew twice its size when spotted them on the sofa with kylian talking to her and anaïs having her eyes wide open. as if she was understanding or at least trying to follow what her father was telling her.

“regarde qui s’est réveillée,” he said softly to his daughter, noticing amara’s presence. “tu as vu maman?” — look who woke up

— did you see mummy?

“vous êtes trop beau ensemble,” she greeted him with a kiss as she sat down next to him and reached for their daughter. anaïs calmly got comfortable in her mother’s arms, not making much of a fuss as she got ready to eat. — you’re too beautiful together

she had a fond smile adorning her lips, looking at her daughter. this tiny human being that changed their lives around. even though she was only a week old, they could already recognize that she was her father’s photocopy. that she would be his except for the shape of her eyes. the one thing anaïs had inherited from her.

“t’es la femme la plus forte que je connais. je ne sais pas comment t’as fait. comment tu fais…,” he told her completely in awe which made amara chuckle. — you’re the strongest woman i know. i don’t know how you did it, how you do it

“et toi tu es l’homme le plus beau, magnifique de toute cette terre. no one i would rather have than you as the father of my baby. — you’re the most beautiful, amazing man on this earth

“she makes everything better,” kylian chuckled as he got up to prepare breakfast for them.

amara nodded, softly cradling her daughter while she breastfed her. her small little hands were placed firmly (as firm as they could be for a one week old) as she drank the breast milk.

“weird how i’m ready to go to war for someone i’ve practically known a week. and yet she’s the answer to everything.”

he understood that feeling better than anyone. if the world turned around him before, now his world turned around her. he was ready climb mountains, cross jungles or put the world on fire if it was necessary for his daughter’s happiness. he would do anything for her. “i love you two more than anything.”

his eyes held that famous sparkle as he spoke and amara leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. in the span of a week their lives had changed and they had been thrown into the world of parenthood. the one thing no matter how much one studied, there was never the perfect preparation. one would never know how parenthood actually worked out till they were parents. it was a new path to life.

amara and kylian had each other to overcome the hills and rocks that may have been put onto their way. anaïs was the confirmation of what they had always been. a family. their bubble was finished and perfect now. they had everything they needed.

taglist: @lorarri @aechii

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niahxo · 10 months

Text

Too young — DR

Author: tiktok gives me good ideas

Summary: in which she’s too young for him…

Warnings: angst, painhub, sorryy

Pairings: daniel ricciardo x horner!reader

“One day when you’ll be old enough I’ll let you hit on me.”

“Y/n, stop flirting with Daniel. He’s my driver and too old for you.” Christian Horner, also known as your father, would always complain about this. For at least one year that’s the only thing he’d tell you whenever you came around the paddock. You would roll your eyes and leave it, only to come back the following day to tease Daniel and see how long it would have been before he’d break. But Daniel could bend but never break. Some may say you were being ridiculous, embarrassing, inappropriate. But never once Daniel had told you to stop. All he did was trying to hide a smirk, watch your father kick you out of the Redbull building and wink at you as you turned around. If he had ever told you to stop it you would have. Last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable or at unease. Besides it wasn’t like you always were around for Daniel. But you didn’t think you had ever had an interaction where you didn’t make it obvious you liked him.

“Too young, kiddo. Maybe in a few years I’ll let you ask me out.” Daniel told you once, pressing a kiss to your temple and running towards his driver’s room. So many times you had thought of giving up, but it was in those times that he was the one to tease you. He’d rest his hand on your thigh as you spoke to him and Max during one of their breaks or kiss your cheek way too long for it to be a chaste kiss or let his eyes wander for a bit too long on one of your curves. You weren’t imagining things but he let your father believe so because he couldn’t lose his Redbull seat. At that time you were around your early twenty’s. He remembered very well those times of his. He didn’t want to deprive you of all the experiences you could go through at that age. That was one of the reasons why he let you go. He was almost thirty. He didn’t want to settle down just yet but even if he would have wanted to in a couple years, it would have meant you had to be ‘locked’ in a relationship with someone at a young age. If he asked you, you’d have done that most likely. But he didn’t want to put you in that position. He liked to think you’d have grown out of this phase, this crush and just live your best life.

“I’m leaving next year, sweetheart. But I’ll see you around the paddock anyway.” He had told you one night when you were waiting for your dad by his car. You laughed, thinking he was kidding. He smiled but he wasn’t joking. You didn’t think it would have affected you the way it did. You frowned as he explained more. But you didn’t want to hear it. He wasn’t just leaving Redbull, he was leaving also you. And maybe looking back at it now you’d think you were being ridiculous and childish but at that time it felt like a betrayal. Daniel didn’t think you’d take that so badly. He didn’t think you’d care that much about it and it flattered him. He forced himself to think it only flattered him but it wasn’t like that. As much as he attempted to hide it, he had developed more than friendly feelings for you. Maybe it was because he couldn’t have you. Maybe it was because of the way you’d look at him. Maybe it was because of all the shared memories. He didn’t exactly know why but he knew it was something more than he let everyone know.

“This is ridiculous, y/n. You’ve been ignoring me a whole week, all because of a childish behavior of yours. If you actually cared about me, you’d be happy nonetheless.” He bursted out after a week of having to go through a silence treatment. You were sitting by your dad’s office, reading through your notes. You briefly looked up at him. His words hurt you because Daniel had never been mad at you. Sometimes you’d piss him off but he had never gotten angry at you. You leaned back against your seat, looking at him. The Australian man felt guilty the minute those words came out of his mouth. He wasn’t the type of guy who’d lose his temper easily. He had a rather cheerful personality. Always smiling even when he was at his worst. But with you. In that moment. He couldn’t bear to live another second with you ignoring him. He struggled to admit that he hated whenever you wouldn’t be there to even just annoy him. And the fact that he knew you hated him now. He couldn’t stand that feeling.

“Glad you got that off your chest, Daniel.” You said before closing your notebook. He sighed as you left the room. It went on like that for at least another two weeks. You had stopped hanging around the paddock as much you used. Staying home instead of flying around with your father. It was weird not having you around as much but Christian didn’t ask you too many questions, having thought you were simply tired of constantly traveling around the world and wanting to focus on your studying more. But Daniel knew why. He knew and he wished he could change that. Maybe it was your pride. Maybe it was your dad. Maybe it was his job. But you parted away. You stopped laughing together, smiling at each other, cracking jokes, teasing each other. You drifted apart. At the end of the season he was going to leave. What was even the point anymore? Having some time off the paddock made you realize you were way too deep in this to think it was just a phase. You liked Daniel. A lot. You were tired of playing games, of fucking around. It was more than just teasing him or annoying your dad. It wasn’t a whim.

“Please come to the party. He won’t be part of the team next year and I don’t want you guys to end the year in bad terms.” Max begged you. You had grown closer to the dutch driver throughout his years at Redbull. He was the first to notice you genuinely liked Daniel. Everybody thought you were just bored and wanted to bother the Australian driver. But he could see by the way you looked at him it was more than a crush. He had seen you crying about him. He wasn’t happy to see his friend leave the team but he didn’t feel like he was on the verge of tears. He had seen you in the bathroom stall crying. You had never admitted it to him but he didn’t need you to. He knew already. Max didn’t want you to regret not having done something it could have helped make you feel better. So you went the party. It didn’t hurt as much to see him around and not speak to him. You would have always felt the urge to go up to him and just hang out like the old times but things felt different now. Both of you thought it was too late to try and fix what it had been broken. Days that turned into weeks and months had gone by. You were still the same but you were different.

“Max! C’mere, man! I’m going to miss you so much!” You didn’t even make it through the room filled with Redbull employees that Daniel was already hugging his future former teammate. Max laughed and hugged him back. You had seen them building a very strong friendship throughout the last years. You wouldn’t have been wrong if you said they had become brothers. You looked around, trying to focus on anything else but the good looking Australian man in front of you. He didn’t think you’d come but he hoped. He had worn his favorite shirt of his in hopes that you’d show up and maybe talk to him one last time. It was the beginning of Christmas break and you both knew you wouldn’t have seen each other until the following year and even that case scenario it was never going to be like this. He was going to be in another team. Far away but so close to you.

“Hey there. Glad you came, y/n.” His soft and welcoming smile didn’t fade away as he spoke to you. You forced a smile on your lips as you two exchanged a quick look. He always looked so good it was difficult for you to keep your usual stupid flirty comments to yourself. Especially after spending months telling him whatever went through your mind. But he didn’t want to hear it. He had never wanted to. In the time you had for yourself you had convinced yourself you were nothing more than a child to him. He had told you himself. Well, not that exactly. But wasn’t that the point? He had never seen you more than his boss’ daughter with whom he couldn’t mess around so he chose to never upset you by telling you he didn’t like you. It was the only thing that could make remotely be annoyed at him. Daniel didn’t know if it was appropriate to hug you or if a smile was enough. You looked so cold and distant. He hated how stubborn you had always been and now he hated it more than ever. Max had briefly been distracted by one of the engineers, leaving you two alone.

“Yea, Max promised me to take me out drinking Saturday.” Since when were you so close to Max anyway? Was the first thought that crossed Daniel’s mind. He was being irrational and stupid. You had always been friends, he was just used to being your favorite one. Were you going after him now? He almost shook his head as he tried to shake that thought out of his mind. No. You weren’t like that. You had never liked Max like that. Why would you start now? Nono. Don’t be stupid, Daniel. He thought to himself as he tried to get out of that headspace. He focused on how ravishing you appeared that night. But you always did. There wasn’t a time where you were less than beautiful to his eyes. If only he could tell you. His hands tickled, he felt the urge to touch you. He gulped, swallowing his primal needs.

“How’s it going here? A good ol’ get together, uh?” Max wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you closer. The last thing he wanted was to annoy Daniel. In fact, he wanted you to go back to what you were before. However that wasn’t what it looked like to Daniel. Every little touch now looked nothing like innocent acts. In his mind Max was trying to find any reason to be close to you and it caused Daniel to clench his jaw, like you were his property. He could already see you roll your eyes at him if he only tried to say anything as stupid as that. He tried to be rational. Max had a girlfriend and you were not interested in him. But did you still like him? Daniel couldn’t help but ask himself if those feelings— if he could call them so— for him were still there. If he asked you to kiss you, would you have let him? Because he could feel his lips dry and begging to touch yours. Your lipstick only exalted them more. He didn’t know where to look at this point.

“Sure… I’m going to drink something and say hi to my dad before he complains about me avoiding him. Excuse me.” You freed yourself of Max’s arm and walked past Daniel, brushing your arm against his. The dutch driver sighed in discontent. It was tougher than he thought. Daniel raised his brows, as a silent ‘told you’. You spotted your dad by the buffet, talking to some of the engineers. The last thing you wanted was to get drunk next to your father but did you have any other option? Max was going to be stuck by Daniel side the whole time and being anywhere close the Australian man wasn’t an option. You weren’t even angry at him anymore. But every time he spoke to you you just wanted to punch him and yell at him all the things you had never had the time nor will to say. There were a lot of unsaid things between the two of you and if by the end of the night neither of you would have grown a pair to tell them, then they would have forever stayed unsaid. New year, new life. Daniel was going to stay in the past where he belonged. You promised yourself you didn’t care but you always caught yourself— throughout the whole night — staring at him. Whenever you got distracted you’d always turn around to look for him, only to know he was okay. You thought it was pathetic but you were used to it now. One last night. You told yourself. Then he’s gone.

“Excuse me—“ your tipsy self made her way to the restroom. Luckily finding no line. Were the planets aligned for you for once? You could walk straight but sometimes you needed to focus to not let any inappropriate words roll off your tongue. You got inside one of the stalls without stumbling across anything. The troubles began when you walked out of it. Because by the sink, washing his hands there was him. Daniel was looking down at the water until he heard the door closing behind you. You gulped and not even bothered to fake a smile, going straight to wash your hands. He scoffed. He had some drinks himself, he wasn’t drunk though. Maybe if you looked back at that specific scene from the future you would have agreed on saying you were being childish but he was the one to start this anyway. The following few seconds were silent. Neither of you wanted to swallow their pride and make the first, until you went to dry your hands.

“Why do you gotta be so fucking annoying and stubborn?” He groaned. You gasped in disbelief. After months of silence that was the nicest thing he could say to you? You already missed the silent treatment. You rolled your eyes at his words. He was unbelievable. You couldn’t wait for him to leave. Maybe Pierre would have been nicer to hang out with.

“Wow, so classy… No wonder you can’t have a serious relationship. With an attitude like that not even your mom would date you.” Your words were filled with venom and your intention was to hurt him. He chuckled, getting in the way of the door as you tried to leave the restroom. You knew you were both going to say some hurtful things which you would have regretted in the morning but if he wanted to play that game, who were you to deny him of that? You took a step back, crossing your arms across your chest and raising an eyebrow, waiting for him to say anything.

“If I remember correctly you were begging me to be with you until last week, sweetie.” That was a low blow and he knew that too. Yet it didn’t stop the smirk from growing across his face. You gritted your teeth, not wanting to let him he had hit and sunk you. However you knew you could also hurt him just as much as he could hurt you. Two could play at that game and you were better than him at it. You wanted to wipe that smug off his face with a punch or a kiss. But you would have given him the satisfaction to see you break first. He looked pleased with himself.

"Yea, until I tried your teammate." he was now the one to clench his fists by his sides. He wondered if you knew about the jealousy he felt whenever he saw you and Max together. But what it was impossible because he had never told anyone. Was it possible that you knew him that well? Even after months of silence? He tried to convince himself you were unaware of his stupid jealousy and just attempted to hit him with anything that could piss him off. He knew just how good you were at annoying him. The Australian glared at you, not finding your joke remotely amusing but you didn't care because he had been the first to hurt you. Not just that day but also that night. When he told he was leaving you. You couldn't bring yourself to forgive him and you knew it was irrational, stupid, childish. But the thought of not seeing his smile first thing in the morning on most weekends after having the shittiest weeks of your life. It ruined your days. Although you had never taken it serious, neither of you, you wished you had. You treated the whole situation as a joke when it wasn’t, at least not to you.

“Why do you always have to act like this?” His tone wasn’t as harsh as it was earlier. He was tired. He sounded tired. This all situation was tiring, exhausting you two. The tension within the Redbull team was unbearable for you and Daniel so you stepped away. He stopped seeing you around the factory and as days went by he realized you weren’t coming back anymore. In a moment of desperation he even took into consideration renewing his contract with Redbull and trying to stay. But it wasn’t an option. His caramel eyes haunted yours, you had to look away but he wasn’t going to give up so soon and so easily.

“Like what?” Your tone was irritated and irritating. He was on the verge of exploding. You had been pushing all of his limits. He was having enough of your bratty behavior. He missed the sweet side of you, he missed the old times when you’d look up at him with adoring eyes. He was so scared of hurting you. You were made out of porcelain to him. He was always so graceful with you, afraid of breaking you. When did this all end? Was it really because he was leaving Redbull? Was it something else? Maybe. Or maybe not. He just knew he was done with this. With faking of not standing you when in reality all he wanted to do was be with you. But you were so young. You and Max were the same age and he couldn’t think about ruining those years for you.

“Like a bitch. I’m tired of this, y/n. Aren’t you? Of pretending like this is normal. This isn’t normal at all. We used to be so close, why are you so angry at me? I promise we’ll see each other again next year. I am not leaving you.” His tone had drastically changed into a desperate one. He sounded like he was going crazy. You were a bit taken back by his statement. You expected him to bite back but he suddenly let go and you almost lost your balance. He had said what you both had been asking yourselves this whole time. But was he really that blind? Did he genuinely not understand what the problem was? By the look on his face you could tell he was clueless. And maybe if you had drunk less you would have filtered your words more.

“Because I loved you, Daniel. But you didn’t. You never did and it hurt me. You just didn’t want to upset me because I’m your boss’ daughter. I really loved you and I wished you had just told me you didn’t care about me like that.” Your voice cracked as you finally admitted that out loud. It broke your heart even more to say that out loud. To admit to yourself for the first time ever that you were in love with him. Even if he wasn’t. You were slowly accepting the truth. As much as it hurt you to do so. Daniel was now the one a bit taken back. Clearly not expecting such an honest and blunt response from you. Silence filled in the restroom as you simply stared at each other. Daniel’s thoughts raced so fast through his mind that he struggled to understand them all. You couldn’t even believe you had just admitted your feelings not only to yourself but also to him. Suddenly the entire room felt like a chokehold and you needed to leave. Yet your feet were glued to the pavement.

“I didn’t know you felt like this…” Daniel wished he could explain the course of his thoughts easily but he didn’t understand them either. You gulped, feeling a rush of shame through your blood. You probably looked so stupid to him. He probably thought you were just a kid. It wasn’t fair that he got to play with you when he wanted to and now he could simply see you as a child. If you were a stupid teenager to his eyes, then why did he keep playing this game for so long? You had never begged him to like you back but so many times he showed you that he cared. Or so you thought. It was impossible for you to think straight or don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Especially when he stood there in silence. It caused your anxiety to increase.

“Forget about it.” You spat out trying to leave and finally managing to walk towards the door of the bathroom. A hand on your shoulder prevented you from taking one more step forward. You were ready to protest against it and try to free yourself of his grip but he pulled you closer to him, your chest hitting his hard and you almost tripped over. His scent inebriated your senses as you closed your eyes for a second and pretended everything was normal. Everything had gone back to normal and you were casually hugging each other like it used to happen a lot. But nothing was normal anymore. Not with him. Not with Daniel. The Australian man looked down at you with an enigmatic look in his eyes that you couldn’t decipher.

“Nono wait…” he tried to stop you. He needed a moment. To think. To elaborate your words. To understand. But you were tiring of waiting. You had been waiting for him this whole time. For years now. Daniel had known you since you were twenty years old and now you were close to your twenty-three. It had been three years. What was left worth of waiting for? Nothing. Although it broke you heart to see him leaving part of you knew that it was probably the best decision for you. For the both of you.

“Say I’m wrong. Say I don’t get it. Say I am too young for you. I dare you, Daniel.” You stepped closer your face inches away from yours. He could see the fire inside of your eyes that lightened them up even more. You were so much to handle. You were hot and cold, water and fire, black and white. You were all and nothing at once. But he didn’t care. He never did. He could handle you. He wanted to handle you. He wanted you. But there were always so many but’s and what if’s. But you were Christian’s daughter. But you were young. But he was too old. But it was too late. What if it didn’t work out. What if it ended badly. What if it wasn’t like you thought it would. But what if love wasn’t enough. So many questions and so few answers. He couldn’t risk his chances like this. Not because of him but because of you. The last thing he wished was to break your heart like he had done in the past with others. Like he had just done to you too. Both of his hands came to rest on your cheeks as his features softened, his forehead resting against yours. You sighed. The anger that fueled your body now vanishing from your system as you let go. Let go of that rage. Wrath. Spite. You were so drained. So sick of this. Of being angry all the time.

“You’re the best thing that could ever happen to a man like me, y/n…” he mumbled out, his eyes closed. Those words hit your heart so deeply. You hated him because you knew you would’ve never been able to get them out of your head. You wished he didn’t have such a strong hold on you. When it came Daniel your brain stopped functioning. You were so irrational, stupid, naive. When he smiled at you, when his hands touched you, when his lips kissed your cheek, when his cologne hit your nostrils. You were so fucked for him. Letting him to whatever he wanted to you.

“Then why are you leaving me, Daniel? I love you…” you sobbed as your heart felt like it was being torn into pieces. A remorseful smile on his lips as his eyes looked into yours again. He had hurt you just in the way he didn’t want to. He was so scared of being with you and its effects on you that he had actually done last thing he wanted to do to you: hurt you. He could read it in your eyes that you meant every little word that you said. You weren’t stupid. You weren’t a kid. You weren’t superficial. You were so much more than daddy’s money or stupid flirty jokes. You were funny, loving, sweet, amiable, cute, determined, ambitious, genuine, precious. Yet you were everything he couldn’t have. As tears streamed down your cheeks, you tried not to make any noise to not make yourself look even more pathetic. If anyone had told you months ago this was how it was going to end you would have never let him get so close to you.

“Cause you’re so young, baby… You have the best years of your life ahead of you and I can’t take them from you. Maybe one day, when you’ll be old enough our paths will cross again…” he tried to smile but it looked so forced. You scoffed, attempting to pull away. But his grip only tightened around you as he pulled you into a hug. You let your sobs get the best of you and started crying. In that moment you didn’t care if you looked like a fool, you were hurting. The kind of pain no one warns you about. The kind of pain you never want to experience ever in your life. The kind of pain that takes you breath away. The kind of pain that consumes your entire being. It leaves you breathless. Daniel pressed a few kisses onto your temple as he looked ahead, his eyes getting watery. He wasn’t doing any better than you. To let you go was one of the hardest thing he had had to do in the last year. But he loved you too much to be selfish. To steal your best years from you. He couldn’t do that because he couldn’t bear to live the rest of his life knowing you despised him. He had to do what was best for you.

“Will you wait for me?” You asked him looking up from his chest. You looked so scared, sad, broken. He gulped, feeling like he was about to break down as well but he needed to hold it together because he couldn’t be selfish with you. Not when you were the most precious thing he had ever come across. He was lucky enough to have had you in his life. He couldn’t destroy beautiful things like you. He needed to keep you safe. A soft and genuine smile made its way on his lips as he stared down at you lovingly. He could never be grateful enough to have met you on that rainy day by the Redbull factory. He should have know it was going to be the beginning of something amazing.

“Always, baby.”

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