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Future?
I'll be graduating from college in a month—Bachelor of Secondary Education, Major in English, by the way. What comes next? I don’t know. I am not ready to take the Licensure Examination for Teachers. I am torn by the question, "Is being a teacher really my calling?" It was hard for me during my internship. Sleepless nights and cups of coffee—that's how it went. I wanted to do my best in this field, but I don't feel the excitement for it. Maybe this is not really my calling. It pressures and stresses me out. I don’t think I can be the teacher that my students will look up to. However, I think at the end of the day, I still have to do it. I only have one choice—to become a teacher. I will try to love this profession in the future.
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Happy afternoon. btw, it is freaking hot today🥵
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Dear self,
How are you doing? I hope you are doing well. I know life has been tough but you have done quite a good job to stay alive. Thank you for not giving up.
Life is not a straight line, it goes up and down. If you are sometimes happy or sometimes sad, be glad because this is life. If you don’t want these ups and downs in life, then that is as good as wanting death.
The challenges you have gone through, and those you will face in the future, may break you down. It makes you think about your self-worth, your weakness, and your failure. This devil will try to hold you from walking toward your goal. It is like a dark cloud full of negative thoughts that turns even darker every time you look up to find a hope.
During our past life journey, I am terribly sorry that I was not great enough to ignite your motivation, was not good enough to encourage, to appreciate you. Sorry that I allowed you to hang your head down low. I was not all ears to listen to your problems. I did not stand up for you.
But behind these dark clouds, there is a bright blue sky waiting to shine on you once you blow those clouds away. The same goes to these hardships; while you are looking for help to unlock this hardship, you also learn something: nobody can help you but yourself.
I hope you are more confident to stand up and rise up to challenges. I hope you stop comparing your life to that of others. Tell yourself that your life is perfectly imperfect. At the end of the day, it is all about yourself. Always learn to love and appreciate yourself before you want to be accepted or loved by others.
As I am writing this letter, your life isn’t fully figured out yet. You are not 100% sure of your direction, or what you are going to do long-term in life. The clock is running way too fast. Future is something that keeps you anxiously awake at night. So someday in the future, let’s say in 2 or 3 years, once you come back to read this letter, I hope you will feel happy that you have followed a path that you are proud of, which allows you to understand yourself better.
Love,
Nicole
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DAILY REMINDER!
Shape your own future. Just because you’re not rushing things and living in the present, it doesn’t mean you should forget about tomorrow. In fact, I think we should shape our future by making conscious decisions.
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The Fault in Our Stars
“He shook his head, just looking at me. - "What?" I asked. - "Nothing" he said. - "Why are you looking at me like that?" Augustus half smiled. "Because you`re beautiful. I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence." A brief awkward silence ensued. Augustus plowed through: "I mean, particularly given that, as you so deliciously pointed out, all of this will end in oblivion and everything." I kind of scoffed or sighed or exhaled in a way that was vaguely coughy and then said, "I`m not beau-" - "You are like a millennial Natalie Portman. Like V for Vendetta Natalie Portman." - "Never seen it." - "Really?" he asked. "Pixie-haired gorgeous girl dislikes authority and can`t help but fall for a boy she knows is trouble. It`s your autobiography, so far as I can tell." His every syllable flirted. Honestly, he kind of turned me on. I didn`t even know that guys could turn me on - not, like, in real life.” ― John Green The Fault in Our Stars
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