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Um, sorry to break it to you sweetie, but 2013 was in fact five years ago.

2013 was five years ago let that sink in

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2013 was five years ago let that sink in

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On this day in 1492, George Washington crossed the Atlantic Ocean in three mighty ships… the Nina, the Piñata and the Santa Claus.

Washington and the other Americans were fleeing the evil Britons. The Britons believed in taxation without representation and back then there was no TurboTax, so that was a really big deal. 

To infuriate the Britons, Washington decided to waste a bunch of their tea, dumping it into the sea. The Britons jumped in after the tea, trying to drink it as they swam around in it. All you could see were Englishman’s pinkies sticking up through the water.

One must always extend his pinky whilst drinking tea. 

This meant war. 

The Americans and the Britons lined up on two sides of a field. They raised their muskets and began firing at one another. At no point did anyone think to hide behind a rock or a tree. After hours of firing their weapons and making no attempts to dodge the deadly projectiles, the only two men left standing were George Washington and King Leopold Womplebottom the 8th.

They were both out of ammunition so they charged at one another with their bayonets raised. Before they could reach each other, Jesus Christ descended from the heavens and turned their weapons into armadillos. He liked changing things into armadillos because their name sounds so much like “arm dildos” and it makes him giggle. 

The Lord asked, “Why are you two fighting this battle?”

George replied, “He taxed us a bunch and took away our freeeeeeedom.”

King Womplebottom replied, “He wasted tea and I’m pretty sure his teeth are made of wood. And that’s creepy.” 

Jesus shook his head and said, “The wooden teeth are a myth. You really need to look things up on Ye Olde Snopes before you start spouting them off as facts.”

Jesus decided enough was enough. He told the King to return to England and leave the Americans alone. He told George Washington to declare independence and lead this new nation. Jesus then ascended toward the heavens with his arms raised and with a booming, echoed voice he said…

"Arrrrrmmmm dildos!"

The King returned to England as instructed and George gathered his most patriotic friends inside the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. (It’s bigger on the inside.) They wrote up a document declaring independence from the tyranny of Great Britain. His friend John Hancock signed his name really big and George was like, “Dude, we all gotta sign this shit and we only have one piece of paper. Not cool.”

Then they attached fireworks to an eagle, it flew high above the Liberty Bell, and exploded in a feathery death of absolute freedom.

And America lived happily ever after.

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Typical weeknight

[video | vine]

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what is your favorite pop song

probably not their best work but I think it has a good pacing and really solid vocals http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07P0mXOjKBk

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I JUST PUT THIS AS MY TEXT MESSAGE TUNE AND I PEE MY PANTS EVERYTIME I GET A TEXT

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"Son, stop horsing around in class."

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I was analyzing music for class tomorrow when THIS happened…

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Crazy Harry

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Kat Swenski is a talented cartoonist who has been gaining popularity at /r/BehindtheGIFs, and this is the collaboration that we told people we’d do.  Also, we randomly discovered that we live about three blocks from each other, even though we had never heard of each other prior to meeting on Reddit. I wrote a blog post about our IRL meeting on my website. 

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undefined

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omg

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Infinity …           … it’s not big …       … it’s not huge …       … it’s not tremendously large …       … it’s not extremely humongously enormous …       … it’s

       …Endless!

Infinity has no end. Infinity is the idea of something that has no end.

"Paul Erdős lived in Budapest, Hungary, with his Mama. Mama loved Paul to infinity ∞. When Paul was 3. She had to go back to work as a math teacher….” (Extract from the book: The Boy Who Loved Math: The Improbable Life of Paul Erdős by Deborah Heiligman - Figure 1). Infinity, most often denoted as infty(symbol:∞), is an unbounded quantity that is greater than every real number, is an abstract concept describing something without any limit and is relevant in a number of fields, predominantly mathematics and physics. In number systems incorporating infinitesimals, the reciprocal of an infinitesimal is an infinite number, i.e., a number greater than any real number. Infinity is a very tricky concept to work with, as evidenced by some of the counterintuitive results that follow from Georg Cantor’s treatment of infinite sets. Georg Cantor formalized many ideas related to infinity and infinite sets during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. In the theory he developed, there are infinite sets of different sizes (called cardinalities). For example, the set of integers is countably infinite, while the infinite set of real numbers is uncountable. (Here is one of Proofs)

In Geometry and topology: Main article: Dimension (vector space). Infinite-dimensional spaces are widely used in geometry and topology, particularly as classifying spaces, notably Eilenberg−MacLane spaces. Common examples are the infinite-dimensional complex projective space K(Z,2) and the infinite-dimensional real projective space K(Z/2Z,1).

In Fractal Geometry: The structure of a fractal object is reiterated in its magnifications. Fractals can be magnified indefinitely without losing their structure and becoming “smooth”; they have infinite perimeters—some with infinite, and others with finite surface areas. One such fractal curve with an infinite perimeter and finite surface area is the Koch snowflake.

In Real analysis: In real analysis, the symbol \infty, called “infinity”, is used to denote an unbounded limit. x -> ∞ means that x grows without bound, and x  -> - ∞ means the value of x is decreasing without bound.

See more at: Infinity on Wikipedia and Mathworld - What is Infinity? on MathisFun.

Reference:  Paul Erdös and the Erdös Number Project page.

Image: Koch snowflakes & The Boy Who Loved Math: The Improbable Life of Paul Erdős.

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Video: Nick Offerman Recites Some Profound Shower Thoughts [gifs via]