nicklukenelson

[nicklukenelson]

I’m not sure if it’s a post-binge delirium or major cope, but my I’m higher on sydcarmy than ever before. Like they can’t be further apart than ever before, Carmy is literally leaving the restaurant and like 90% getting back with his ex, yet somehow this situation is RIPE with opportunity.

Ugh, like where do I begin…..

1. We don’t have Syd and Carmy entangling their potential relationship with the business. Carmy’s “I’m your friend” confession feels so good because yes! they can finally be friends for once (an important foundation for a relationship) instead of this trepidatious boss / coworker situationship that could have played out if Carmy stayed on. It’s wiping the slate clean for them to be together over mutual admiration / care, not because a restaurant is legally forcing them together.

2. Sydney will not have to bear the brunt of Carmy’s #healing era. Unfortunately for her, Claire will. Hear me out, season 4 really highlighted for me that the Claire/Carmy scenes suck because Carmy and his woes just take up that whole fucking relationship! Poor Claire is forced to be his emotional support lap dog, and just doesn’t get any opportunity to shine in that relationship while Carmy is wallowing in despair. And like usually I love relationships where characters find healing through love but it’s so painfully one-sided that it would be so! much! more! upsetting if they subjected Sydney to Carmy’s sad white boy bullshit at this point. I do think Sydney will play a pivotal role in Carmy’s healing era, but it will be to help him rediscover his love for cooking. A mutually shared passion that can organically grow their relationship instead of feeling like it’s forced.

Claire being continually written as the “love interest to make Carmy feel less bad about himself” / “love interest to just show off that Carmy has a soft side” is crazy work, like why do the writers treat her that way, she deserves more !!! But at least we are not sacrificing Sydney’s individual character development to being part of Carmy’s emotional cleanup crew

3. Like Ebra, we get to “create opportunity” with The Bear post S4. We may not get a S5! But we now have is all our characters on an upward trajectory to greater versions of themselves. And even better, the restaurant still has a fighting chance! We have a prompt ready to be filled for all the fic writers - how will Carmy help the gang get out of debt? How will Syd step into her role as the new owner of the restaurant and lead the team? Will they get that star??? (A star fully earned by Syd now too). I’m so excited for Sydney moving forward. Like it’s HER restaurant now and she has such an incredible team or at this point family supporting her. Not to mention, an “older brother” figure who she may or may not have a crush on (clock it TJ!) that can support her from a much better place.

Bonus 4th point for me: in terms of my fanfic tastes, I always gravitated towards more messy sydcarmy dynamics and that final argument between them really underscores that messy sydcarmy hits different 🚬 like canonically I want a healthier relationship for them which can still happen, but I also love canon giving me evidence of how good their chemistry is when shit gets messy too. Like shit, I might even get over my cheating ick and start reading those fics where Carmy cheats on Claire for Syd bc yeah it could totally happen now LMAO. like walk with me, Carmy “retires” and gets together with Claire AGAIN, promising Claire his full attention like he did to Sydney/the restaurant in S2. Only this time, he keeps on coming back to the restaurant and ditching plans with Claire to help Sydney out bc that man is devoted to Syd’s success he will do anything to ensure Syd won’t fail. The inverse of S2 playing out would be sooo fucking delicious

[nicklukenelson]

One of my favorite tiny subtext elements on the show is how everyone in the restaurant is Invested in the current Status of Syd-Carmy

* when she and Carm break up in 1x07 Gary kind of does a circuit to check on both of them to see how bad it is

* when she's mad about the wall demolition, someone in the background makes an "oooh you're in trouble" sound; that's the last explicit comment onscreen, which I choose to believe is either because Richie shut it down or because after that they're all too terrified of them breaking up again to tease them

* if they're ever arguing in the kitchen everyone else is fucking silent because Tension

* when Syd goes missing (bc of her dad), everyone is on Carm's ass *immediately*

* In re the final fight of S4, I can practically see the crew inside the restaurant sort of subconsciously noticing that both Syd and Carm are both not there, and then hearing them outside, and then noticing that the volume and speed and level of distress in the conversation is *rapidly* increasing. I almost imagine them looking at each other like "what do we do?" and then Richie muttering "I'm going in"

[nicklukenelson]

Worrying about people and having people worry about us is like everything we've got.

Storer wrote Claire’s words as an emotional mirror for Sydney and Carmy later in the episode — as Carmy worries about Sydney, deeply and consistently, all the way through to the end.

Besides the beautiful moment Sydney and Carmy's “I appreciate you” at the end of the call, Carmy’s “Why don’t you let me come over there?” is Carmy gently trying to push past Sydney’s wall — the same wall that keeps her from letting her dad worry about her.

Now here’s Carmy, echoing Claire’s point without knowing it, trying to get Sydney to let him in and worry and care.

Carmy is thinking about Sydney, even worried that she might leave at the end of the episode.

Everything Claire says — that worrying about someone is everything— applies here. It’s a form of love and being emotionally invested in a relationship.

Sydney worrying about Carmy, and Carmy worrying about Sydney, is both the gap and the thread that ties their relationship together.

[nicklukenelson]

I will say this. I think that a major reason why Carmy removed himself from the Bear was to protect Syd. I can't say that he hates Shapiro but (a) Carmy does not respect Adam in the least, and (b) Carmy trusts Adam even less than that. We know Syd can handle herself, but who cares: all he wants is her safe and happy, because he loves her to the sky and back, and he is certain that she is going to be neither kept safe nor inspired to fulfillment and excellence if she goes to work for Shapiro.

Meanwhile, he trusts everyone at the Bear to protect and love and not exploit his wife, even if he can't be there do it himself. They are all great, from Computer to Sweeps. The only problem, he thinks, is himself. He feels like his dysfunction and burnout and inadequacy are what is making the Bear untenable for her.

So to keep her out of Adam's unreliable clutches, and to make sure she has money, and to make sure she has a family, he gives her his family and his restaurant and steps away for what he thinks is everyone's own good. It's honestly not the worst plan in the world. He's being sweet and generous.

The problem is that he's an anchor being of their little universe. He doesn't see himself as particularly lovable so he can't really grasp the depth of their devotion to him. The problem is that signing it over to her does not abrogate the fact that it's actually and always has been their restaurant and their family.

There's a line in that "No Machine" song (that I'm obsessed with) from the S3 soundtrack:

The moon and sun are the keepers of the weather

The moon and sun need each other. They make the weather and the tides together.

He's trying to help, in an almost heroic way, but they're all going to suffer in different ways in his absence. Richie and Nat need their baby brother who is also their big brother and their best friend. Marcus needs his dad. ("That sounds tremendous, pal.") Syd needs her husband.

Carmy can't yet grasp the impact of the empty seat he leaves behind.

[nicklukenelson]

Saying “Carmy Doesn’t Deserve Sydney” misses the Point

I get why people say Sydney deserves better really, I do. We all want the best for her. We want her to be emotionally safe, supported, and surrounded by someone emotionally stable who doesn’t disappear when things get hard. I want that for her too. But why are we so sure that someone like this would work for her?

Carmy’s wounds are externalized, he yells, shuts down, self-sabotages, but Sydney’s are internalized, she performs, overcontrols, isolates.

The fandom tends to focus on what’s visible so we get : “Carmy is unsafe,” and “Sydney is perfect.” But that’s not the reality. Most arguments overlook Sydney’s internal defenses and the way she avoids intimacy. It’s not that she’s this unbothered, grounded person waiting for someone who’s finally stable enough.

The truth is:

- Sydney is emotionally avoidant.

- She doesn’t trust safety.

- She doesn’t ask for help.

- She’s terrified of needing anyone.

And that emotional armor needs just as much healing as Carmy’s chaos.

In this context, emotional safety isn’t just something she can receive from the perfect person, it’s something she has to learn to tolerate.

Yes, a consistently stable, emotionally available partner might offer Sydney safety but that doesn’t guarantee she’ll take it. In fact, if the partner never pushes back, never needs her, never interrupts her emotional independence, Sydney might never feel compelled to risk opening up. Her coping mechanism isn’t just fear of loss it’s hyper-independence. She’s learned to carry everything herself, never ask, never need. So when someone is always steady and low-stakes, it will allow her to stay comfortable in her detachment.

For Sydney, healing only happens when she cares enough to risk discomfort, when something matters enough to make her reach.

Carmy does that. His presence, his unraveling, his pain awakens something in her: curiosity, empathy, and a desire to stay, to show up.

What Carmy does without even trying is force her to feel. He’s the only one who breaks through her surface, and that discomfort is necessary for growth.

A “healthier” partner might never trigger this depth of feeling that would actually break through her walls, and Carmy, precisely because he’s messy and raw, pulls her toward vulnerability.

Carmy and Sydney are complementary in their wounds, they reflect each other’s deepest fears and, precisely because of that, have the unique potential to help one another grow. Carmy’s instinct is to run, to disappear when things get too vulnerable. Sydney’s is to stay guarded, to never admit she wants someone in case they leave. Carmy’s avoidance forces Sydney to confront the fact that safety doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from choosing to risk connection even when there are no guarantees. And for Carmy, Sydney’s emotional honesty not needing him but wanting him reframes his whole idea of worth.

————

If people are looking for perfect post-therapy versions of themselves to show up in relationships, they’ll wait forever. Because some of this healing only unfolds when your wound finally meets its mirror.

Saying “Carmy doesn’t deserve her” only makes sense if you believe Sydney needs a perfect, unmessy partner who stays silent and never touches her vulnerabilities, and therefore doesn’t help her grow. And also when you ignore how rare it is to find someone who triggers both your defense mechanisms and your healing.

This relationship isn’t just about whether Carmy deserves love. It’s also about whether Sydney allows herself to need it.

[nicklukenelson]

my most recent painting. happy the bear s3 release day to everyone who celebrates

[nicklukenelson]

More convinced than ever after S4 that this show is a parallel for Hollywood using fine dining as a stand-in for exploitation and Empire.

This is a show about two creative people who sought out validation through their careers in fine dining to fill holes in themselves (holes come up again this season) and how that system is extractive and punishing (Carmy literally tells Syd they’re being punished) and whether they can escape it together or remain trapped in it.

Carmy with his Mikey stuff and Syd with her mom stuff. They were using their careers to validate themselves and they stopped thinking about who they are outside of restaurants.

The Bear is like an indie filmmaker team that is trying to make good stuff with a found family and lots of creative people who don’t have money and access to studio resources: I wonder where Storer learned that from?

Suddenly you have movie stars in your cast and so many awards and how does that change you? The Red Shoes is all about this as well. These people are feeling the pinch.

They are still chasing Michelin stars as a solution even though people are having panic attacks and nervous breakdowns and they’re about to run out of money thinking the next award cycle will save them (this comes up in s4 as well).

Marcus is now killing himself to innovate and sure, he gets help and that award, but he’s now concerned he will lose his ability to generate original content/inspiration. Because it’s not sustainable.

Tina is beating herself up over a three minute timer and no longer seeing what she’s accomplished and getting into fights at home chasing this bullshit measurement because some stupid critic wrote the pasta came out late three times (s3 criticism anyone?).

Is the Evers crew the studio system coming in and taking control and making sure they all measure up?

Luca straight up warns her how this works like an addiction, but they just all keep coming back to it! But they need breaks and time to step away.

Syd and Carmy want to love and support each other but see their career ambitions very differently now and Syd is still telling herself she can do this and it’s not destructive as she shows clear signs of spiraling and becoming like Carmy. Just the physical manifestations alone: vomiting, panic attacks, smoking.

They are all headed for burnout like Carmy the more “successful” they get. What happens when they get one star? What about two? What about three? Now you have to retain them.

Richie says he should’ve been an actor. Cousin Michelle is a successful actress but her personal life seems like hell at the moment.

And Shapiro basically admitted outright he hired Syd to get access to her Afro-Caribbean influences and then tells her when she turns him down that she’s mediocre and a nobody just like how Chef David used to talk to Carmy. Pretty sure Chef David is Shapiro’s backer.

This show will always be for me about whether or not they can build together the alternative to that Syd presented to Carmy in S1 in the alley which he agreed to do.

There has to be a better way and if the show ends by saying there is not, then who cares?

But I do think the show cares about this and it’s about the pressures of being in an exploitative creative industry that is mostly interested in protecting the system and shoring up Empire.

[nicklukenelson]

Season 4 Sydcarmy: let's talk about it.

*Spoilers*

I love the implication of Carmy's jealousy through Adam's opportunity with the other restaurant because it shows that their (sydcarmy's) relationship goes above and beyond the cliché trope of "hot guy to romance her" and Carmy still gets mad.

Because creating food and providing comfort for other people is ultimately the love language they both share. Their language is acts of service if you want to put it plainly.

And Carmen, while self-exiling, still knows that the "pizza house" is not where Sydney wants to or needs to be. And "need" is the key word this season.

They've finally reached the stage where they are true equals and they both recognize it. Carmen openly shares her value and inherent abilities as a leader and as an emoter. Sydney believes that Carmen has a healing toolkit and recognizes his creativity and ingenuity. They FINALLY speak to the other's value in such a succinct and out loud way.

I know I can do this well (Sydney) and I know you can do this without me (Carmen). Perfect. Love to see that. Because it means they're not looking to the other for survival anymore. (At least not in the same way--I'll talk about Carmen's quote about survival in a second.)

But while "need" (AKA survival) is over, they both now get to express their wants.

In episode 10 Sydney is just short of saying: but you're my PARTNER and I WANT you here. I can do it with Richie and Nat's help. But I WANT you here too. Not because I suck, but because you are a part of the family I've built and the reason I've grown. I want to share the fruits of our labor TOGETHER. "You're leaving when things are good."

And Carmen's wants have changed too. He's moved from "survival" where he needs to prove himself to the world, the asshole chef, the critics, Donna, and even Mikey. Now, he simply wants to do this whole restaurant thing as he initially intended it when he spoke with Mikey: "a place where people can forget about life, where they can celebrate the good days and the bad days, where they can be taken care of."

And who does Carmy thinks takes care of people (and actually says it to her face in s2)? Syd.

He wants Syd to take care of this dream not because he needs it anymore, but because this is a love language he knows she excels at. She is the reason it survived. She's the one that can do the thing he cannot right now: emote, lead, teach, etc. He's spent but he recognizes that fire and drive and excitement that he no longer has (at least at the moment).

He doesn't need The Bear to survive because of his ego anymore. He wants it to survive because he knows that Sydney's ability to care for others is unmatched. And that she is The Bear because she embodies that original dream.

I've seen some claims that Carmy is being a mad white man because he's not "good enough" anymore and I think that's a little heavy-handed.

Episode 2 of this season, Nat gives him permission to love outside of the restaurant and I think Carmen, while promising to get them out of debt, sees a space to gracefully leave it in, what he truly sees, as better hands. He's not in his ego anymore. And he's not even in his "woe is me" phase anymore.

He's healed like a motherfucker and healing is messy. He's a human being who can, and probably should, take some time away to reevaluate the system he was literally born into (restaurants) and find out his own personhood.

I agree with others who are saying he probably won't stay gone. But it's a necessary step. He's leaving for the right reasons this time because he recognizes how little he has in the tank. The man excels at overexerting himself. I say let him sit on the sidelines and reignite that joy again.

And there's a loose thread that I think might do that.

The elusive scallop dish. AKA the red string of fate that pulled Sydney to him.

I believe that it will be a combination of appropriate breathing room and a Sydney dish that pulls him back in. Her scallop dish. Carmen's best meal will be Sydney's. It will bring the joy and creativity back into rotation and it will be for the "right reasons" this time. The dish? I'm not sure what yet, but if I had to guess, the coca-cola short ribs that she dreamed about and has still eluded the series as far as I can recall (lmk if I'm wrong).

Still, this season was structured and a little restricted in the character interaction between Carmy and Syd. But I don't necessarily think that's bad so much as it is irritating for us shippers lol. These were important individual arcs and moments that needed their due respect.

And as far as I'm concerned? Syd is that quiet that you-know-who told Carmy to find. And that alley scene was basically a confession without the actual word "love".

[nicklukenelson]

I want it to be known that the acting beat and WEIGHT Jeremy Allen White gave the breath before he said "you're the bear" genuinely made me think he was going to say "I love you". And then he said that and my reaction was

Oh. He did.

[nicklukenelson]

one day I’ll write a meta on Sydney being parentified and hyper independent and how that affects her ability to accept Carmen’s love on more than just business partnership level and also how him being unreliable reinforces her belief that she can’t let him be someone she can rely on just how her constantly pushing away his advances to be closer to him reinforces his belief that she doesn’t need him brings about the end their relationship.

[nicklukenelson]

whoever posted on here that she started smoking because that smell is the closest she can ever get to being with him from now on

you are harming me.

[nicklukenelson]

yeah so carmy has very obviously been crushing on syd since the moment she walked into the beef

[nicklukenelson]

even during their epic alleyway fight syd says “you’re my partner” and carmy says “I’m your friend” … something about how syd keeps refusing further closeness with carmy in a way that accidentally makes their relationship even more intimate…

[nicklukenelson]

I'm supposed to believe that the Bear is about Carmy who wanted the restaurant for himself and Mikey. It was his idea because he excelled in the industry and wanted to create something special with his best friend.

Then his best friend dies, and creating or 'reinventing' a restaurant, his why becomes about fixing his relationship with his brother.

That's the story?

That's not when the story begins.

It begins the day she comes along.

These changes, including mistakenly transforming The Beef into an Old School Brigade, are not to fix his relationship with Mikey; they're because Sydney wants them, or that's what Carmy thinks. That's his objective, that remains unsaid, isn't it?

One reason we get the ever-repeating "this is what you wanted."  Because Carmy is subconsciously, or is afraid and aware of the fact that he's doing it for Sydney. That is the surprise for some viewers, isn't it? His and her story begins when they enter each other's lives, not when Mikey passes.

The haters are mad, and they're in total denial. Complete denial and forget that Carmy said this with his whole heart:

His most honest moment.

Just remember, as you watch season 4.

The Bear was for Sydney. The Bear is about Sydney. The Bear is Sydney and Carmy's Story.

[nicklukenelson]

Am I the only one who feels even more obsessed with sydcarmy after s4?? Like seeing them on my screen is not enough. I need to breathe the same air as them. Might smell like stress, cigarettes and yearning but I'm down for anything with them.

[nicklukenelson]

RED IS BAD GREEN IS GOOD. SEASON 4 THE BEAR

They established that early in the season. Although the same theory applied from season 1.

They're just sounding it out for us now

So let's find all the red shall we?

Remember if it's red then Carmy is behind if he's with it

Let me find out she's the only one wearing red at that wedding

Red vs green

Let's find the green too! Carmy is on time if he's with green

Red is bad it means you're behind

Red means you're behind.

Claire wears red on her lips, too. So everything and all the things she says BEHIND.

And she transfers it to everyone she kisses

The thing that draws attention to her face is this red. SHE WILLINGLY puts that on her face every single day.

Interesting that INSIDE SYDNEY'S COAT is all red.

On the outside she's on time, has it all together

But on the inside there's stuff that needs to catch up

CARMY is not the only one with work to do

[nicklukenelson]

A GLIMPSE AT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SYDNEY AND CARMEN

i recently came across this article that i randomly saw that had co-showrunner joanna calo talking about sydney and carmen.

article: comicbook.com

now, yes. this interview did take place before the release of season 3. but i think now, as we prepare for season 4, it still speaks true. but i will never believe this and here's why.

(this post is fairly long, i wrote this at 1:03 in the morning because i genuinely couldn't believe this sentence existed.)

SECTION ONE: THEIR DYNAMIC

firstly, i do think they may have intended their relationship to look like a work wife work husband relationship. but my issue with that lies within season 1 and season 2 primarily.

you put scenes like this. you intentionally write - you and a team - moments between the two. you direct them to be close together, the framework of the two is precise.

these moments specifically speak to me because if the dynamic between them is meant to be simply two platonic co-workers who have the "work husband" "work wife" dynamic, why intentionally have carmen say that to sydney?

"you deserve my full focus."

he could've just as easily said that to tina. she was working there, too. richie. he's got more of a history with carmen than sydney does - in terms of both mikey and his involvement with the beef and what he went through to prepare for the bear (the whole him training, etc) and yet richie doesn't get told he deserves carmen's full focus.

because to carmen, they aren't on the same level with sydney. and why is that? it certainly isn't because they're just platonic friends, partners if you will. it's because she means something more to him than that.

and to me, i don't believe that you can write scenes like that and say you never intended for them to be more than friends. and before someone comes for me saying "friends can act like this!!" you're absolutely right! but i've never looked at my 'friend' like they have at each other.

they purposefully wrote this entire moment. each sentence, each movement. it was all directed.

and if your main goal is for them to be strictly platonic or seen as two partners who are perceived as dating but aren’t, maybe don’t include scenes like these in episodes:

carmen hasn’t said that richie makes him better at his job there. he didn’t say that to tina, he didn’t say it to marcus or ebraheim.

he strictly said it to sydney. he trusts her on a deeper level - both to keep him grounded and keep his focus on what he’s started (in season 2 primarily, with season 3 it also focused on making him realize what he was doing to everyone else with the non negotiables and reminding him of their goals with the bear) but also trusts her with keeping him motivated. he trusts she’ll be there to help him with all of the chaos.

and she trusts him the same way. she trusts him to help her work on her dreams of getting a star, of being a better chef. she also trusts now that he’ll prioritize their partnership unlike he had with claire.

SECTION TWO: BODY LANGUAGE.

i'd like to call your attention to this hug. this moment speficially between the two. it's a joyous moment - they get the all clear. notice the way he hugs sydney.

keeping what we've already heard in mind from calo, wouldn't this hug seem weird between two coworkers? two partners? a "work husband and his work wife"? this hug screams intimate.

and sure. you can say that's just how either character hugs. but let's look at other scenes with sydney recieving hugs. this moment with tina came to mind first.

notice the difference in the two? even if she was caught off guard, even if it’s the height difference, whatever. another perspective of that same hug:

these two moments exist in the same context. they’re hugs between two friends, right? they’re celebrating small moments. so why is one more intimate?

after all, they've been credited as just being co-workers, right? the writers say there's nothing romantic between the two.

so, quick question. why is tina not receiving that same embrace? why is it different? because it’s meant to be.

how about eye contact? that’s another fun area to focus on.

here’s how carmen looks at everyone else in the show - varying moments and photos here so the "context" can't be a factor, the character can't be a factor either so here's three photos from different moments.

we're focusing on how he looks at his other co-workers. in some cases, these are also his business partners. maybe not as head on as Syd but i consider someone who sticks with you as you make such a drastic change a business partner in their own right.

so why isn't he looking at them like this? where's the same type of scene as the table scene with say tina? where he tells her that his focus should've been with her?

i mean, after all. he had known tina for a slightly longer time than he had sydney. she worked with his brother, that should mean more, right?

now, remind me. how does carmen look at sydney again? oh that's right. like this.

the only thing i agree with that joanna said is that their relationship is complicated. but what complicates it more is writers intentionally having characters look at characters certain ways or say specific things YOU WRITE INTO THE SCRIPT FOR A REASON and dismiss that as them just being friends.

and don't get me wrong - i do geniuenly think the writers had this intention at first. but you can't say one moment you think they're just friends or you don't plan to make them get together (something writers like storer said previously) but purposefully write the table scene is insane.