nickyisnotmyname

[nickyisnotmyname]

You want me to use anti-ageing products? The thing that killed Dorian Gray?

[nickyisnotmyname]

[nickyisnotmyname]

[nickyisnotmyname]

to be loved. <3

[nickyisnotmyname]

my heart was shattered

every day he brings a piece

making me whole again

[nickyisnotmyname]

[nickyisnotmyname]

You Make Me So Very Happy - Blood Sweat And Tears - 1969

[nickyisnotmyname]

"You know, love doesn't mean "l never want you to change." But I don't think it means "I don't care if you change" either. So I suppose it might mean, "I believe that you'll always be the person I adore." A declaration of faith, perhaps."

– Sayaka Saeki, やがて君になる (Bloom into You), Via "freckled-lili" on Tumblr

[nickyisnotmyname]

Screw being a hopeless romantic. I'm a hopeful romantic. I’m going to hold hands with the love of my life while we're in a garden surrounded by our favorite flowers. I’m going to kiss him underneath the moonlight, I’m going to love him unconditionally and no time or death will tear us apart. I’m hopeful and I’m stubborn and I’m a loving person and I know I can do all of that.

[nickyisnotmyname]

Am I just very very stupid?

[nickyisnotmyname]

“All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see”

— Snow Patrol, “Chasing Cars“

[nickyisnotmyname]

Book: Night Drives by Samantha Camargo

[nickyisnotmyname]

i never knew loving someone could be so beautiful

[nickyisnotmyname]

Heaven is a place on earth with you.

Lana del Rey

[nickyisnotmyname]

Potential disruption due to snow and ice.

[nickyisnotmyname]

The tough thing about boundaries is that it’s not enough to state them, you have to enforce them.

I think some folks see “setting boundaries” as a kind of magic talisman to influence other people’s behavior. “I’ll tell you what I need or can’t accept, and you will act accordingly.” And sometimes that’s what happens, and that’s great! But if the other person disregards your stated boundaries, it doesn’t mean setting boundaries didn’t work.

Because boundaries aren’t about others’ behavior, they’re about your own. If the other person’s behavior doesn’t change, then yours has to. “Please don’t discuss [x topic] with me” is a request. “If you continue to talk about [x topic] then I will end this conversation/hang up/leave” is a boundary, which you must then enact. The point is less about stopping the other person (although that’s ideal) and more about protecting yourself. And you have to be committed to protecting yourself, because no one else will be.

You have to be so committed that you’re willing to tolerate other people being hurt or angry or uncomfortable. You have to accept that some relationships might change. You have to hold onto the idea that it’s all right for them to change, because the way they were before was hurting you, and you deserve to not be hurt. You gave them a choice: maintain a relationship or keep doing the thing that hurts you, and they chose to keep hurting you, so if the situation is now awkward or unpleasant that was because of their choice. Enforcing boundaries means deciding that if someone is going to feel bad here, it need not be always and only you.

There is no magic formula that will make other people treat you kindly and respectfully. But you can learn to treat yourself with kindness and respect. That’s what enforcing a boundary is.

[nickyisnotmyname]