nightmare-chaser - Tumblr blog

[nightmare-chaser]

Horniness is not intrinsically less pure than any other human motivation

[nightmare-chaser]

Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

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EXCUSE ME THERE IS A PLANT THAT CAN MIMIC FAKE PLANTS?????

IT'S CALLED A BOQUILA TRIOFOLIOLATA AND IT'S FUCKING WITH MY BRAIN

IT APPARENTLY CAN MIMIC OTHER PLANTS AND AT FIRST I WAS LIKE "oh cool man it must take it's genetic code and copy it or feel the roots or something like that!! :3"

AND THEN I READ AN ARTICLE ON IT AND THESE FUCKING PARAGRAPHS HIT ME LIKE A BUS

LIKE READ THIS SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK MOTHER NATURE

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obsessed with the fact that naked mole rats seem to have a whole caste of special little guy whose job it is to be really fat, horny, unhelpful, and disgusted by incest

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me as a child: this "$4.99" sales stuff is idiotic, anyone can instantly round this up to $5 in their mind, no one is falling for this

me as an adult: oh wow only $4 (with some additional numbers behind it), that's great because if it was a single dollar more that would have been the last straw for me in my miserable life

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[nightmare-chaser]

need my dick sucked so bad but i have this stupid ass vagina

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People tend to throw out the phrase "extremely specific kinks" as though that inherently implies something transgressive, but in my experience, the overwhelming majority of extremely specific kinks are so innocuous that you could see them in public and not even clock them. For every person who can only get off to having their nipples electrocuted, there are a dozen who are volcanically aroused by seeing their partner wearing one specific pair of socks.

[nightmare-chaser]

Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust

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friend server has changed our nicknames to various things you might find in a haunted house or whatnot so whenever one of us has a tough time it produces really good sentences such as “keep going you can do it creepy spider” and “terrifying shadow i hope you feel better soon” and “thank you sinister glow you’re always there for me”

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I think the most fun part of monsters inc is boo calling sulley “kitty” and mike wazowski by full government name

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magic=gay interpretation is all well and good but personally i think being gay in camelot is actually fine because uther's so focused on getting rid of magic he doesn't really care about anything else. like that politician from australia but with magic instead of crocodiles

[nightmare-chaser]

Been awhile hasn't it

[nightmare-chaser]

this is so fucking funny. im going to say "here come the locusts" everytime something goes wrong now