nikolacvna-archive

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;;    a little announcement

this was a tough decision for a lot of reasons, not in the least because tatiana is…  super important to me, and a really meaningful muse.  i love writing her  ;;  i love telling her story, and knowing her better, and bringing this tiny piece of romanov history to life.  this is something i want to continue doing for as long as possible.

honestly, i lost my passion for rp around the end of last year, when a bad illness took me down hard.  the recovery was rough for a while, and it was hard to focus on anything, so…  i kind of fell out of love with it?  which sucks, because it’s a hobby i love, and have always found so much joy in.   not to mention all the amazing writers i’ve got to interract with, the amazing people i’ve met…

yesterday marked two years of writing tatya.  two whole years, and…  at this point, she’s like a best friend.  i don’t want to stop writing her, but i don’t think this is the place to do it anymore.

so i will be moving tatya  —  along with any other muse i have   —  all to a brand new multimuse!!   this will be a medium-activity venture, featuring original characters as well as a lot of people already on my multi @starblcssd-a.  that blog, and this one, are now archived.  tatiana can be found on this new blog from now on, along with her sister maria.   she’ll…  probably still be my most active muse, tbh.  i love her too much.

find tatiana @dreamsuntcld !!

[nikolacvna-archive]

;;    a little announcement

this was a tough decision for a lot of reasons, not in the least because tatiana is…  super important to me, and a really meaningful muse.  i love writing her  ;;  i love telling her story, and knowing her better, and bringing this tiny piece of romanov history to life.  this is something i want to continue doing for as long as possible.

honestly, i lost my passion for rp around the end of last year, when a bad illness took me down hard.  the recovery was rough for a while, and it was hard to focus on anything, so…  i kind of fell out of love with it?  which sucks, because it’s a hobby i love, and have always found so much joy in.   not to mention all the amazing writers i’ve got to interract with, the amazing people i’ve met…

yesterday marked two years of writing tatya.  two whole years, and…  at this point, she’s like a best friend.  i don’t want to stop writing her, but i don’t think this is the place to do it anymore.

so i will be moving tatya  —  along with any other muse i have   —  all to a brand new multimuse!!   this will be a medium-activity venture, featuring original characters as well as a lot of people already on my multi @starblcssd-a.  that blog, and this one, are now archived.  tatiana can be found on this new blog from now on, along with her sister maria.   she’ll…  probably still be my most active muse, tbh.  i love her too much.

find tatiana @dreamsuntcld !!

[nikolacvna-archive]

;;    a little announcement

this was a tough decision for a lot of reasons, not in the least because tatiana is…  super important to me, and a really meaningful muse.  i love writing her  ;;  i love telling her story, and knowing her better, and bringing this tiny piece of romanov history to life.  this is something i want to continue doing for as long as possible.

honestly, i lost my passion for rp around the end of last year, when a bad illness took me down hard.  the recovery was rough for a while, and it was hard to focus on anything, so…  i kind of fell out of love with it?  which sucks, because it’s a hobby i love, and have always found so much joy in.   not to mention all the amazing writers i’ve got to interract with, the amazing people i’ve met…

yesterday marked two years of writing tatya.  two whole years, and…  at this point, she’s like a best friend.  i don’t want to stop writing her, but i don’t think this is the place to do it anymore.

so i will be moving tatya  —  along with any other muse i have   —  all to a brand new multimuse!!   this will be a medium-activity venture, featuring original characters as well as a lot of people already on my multi @starblcssd-a.  that blog, and this one, are now archived.  tatiana can be found on this new blog from now on, along with her sister maria.   she’ll…  probably still be my most active muse, tbh.  i love her too much.

find tatiana @dreamsuntcld !!

[nikolacvna-archive]

;;    a little announcement

this was a tough decision for a lot of reasons, not in the least because tatiana is…  super important to me, and a really meaningful muse.  i love writing her  ;;  i love telling her story, and knowing her better, and bringing this tiny piece of romanov history to life.  this is something i want to continue doing for as long as possible.

honestly, i lost my passion for rp around the end of last year, when a bad illness took me down hard.  the recovery was rough for a while, and it was hard to focus on anything, so…  i kind of fell out of love with it?  which sucks, because it’s a hobby i love, and have always found so much joy in.   not to mention all the amazing writers i’ve got to interract with, the amazing people i’ve met…

yesterday marked two years of writing tatya.  two whole years, and…  at this point, she’s like a best friend.  i don’t want to stop writing her, but i don’t think this is the place to do it anymore.

so i will be moving tatya  —  along with any other muse i have   —  all to a brand new multimuse!!   this will be a medium-activity venture, featuring original characters as well as a lot of people already on my multi @starblcssd-a.  that blog, and this one, are now archived.  tatiana can be found on this new blog from now on, along with her sister maria.   she’ll…  probably still be my most active muse, tbh.  i love her too much.

find tatiana @dreamsuntcld !!

[nikolacvna-archive]

;;    a little announcement

this was a tough decision for a lot of reasons, not in the least because tatiana is…  super important to me, and a really meaningful muse.  i love writing her  ;;  i love telling her story, and knowing her better, and bringing this tiny piece of romanov history to life.  this is something i want to continue doing for as long as possible.

honestly, i lost my passion for rp around the end of last year, when a bad illness took me down hard.  the recovery was rough for a while, and it was hard to focus on anything, so…  i kind of fell out of love with it?  which sucks, because it’s a hobby i love, and have always found so much joy in.   not to mention all the amazing writers i’ve got to interract with, the amazing people i’ve met…

yesterday marked two years of writing tatya.  two whole years, and…  at this point, she’s like a best friend.  i don’t want to stop writing her, but i don’t think this is the place to do it anymore.

so i will be moving tatya  —  along with any other muse i have   —  all to a brand new multimuse!!   this will be a medium-activity venture, featuring original characters as well as a lot of people already on my multi @starblcssd-a.  that blog, and this one, are now archived.  tatiana can be found on this new blog from now on, along with her sister maria.   she’ll…  probably still be my most active muse, tbh.  i love her too much.

find tatiana @dreamsuntcld !!

[nikolacvna-archive]

;;    a little announcement

this was a tough decision for a lot of reasons, not in the least because tatiana is...  super important to me, and a really meaningful muse.  i love writing her  ;;  i love telling her story, and knowing her better, and bringing this tiny piece of romanov history to life.  this is something i want to continue doing for as long as possible.

honestly, i lost my passion for rp around the end of last year, when a bad illness took me down hard.  the recovery was rough for a while, and it was hard to focus on anything, so...  i kind of fell out of love with it?  which sucks, because it’s a hobby i love, and have always found so much joy in.   not to mention all the amazing writers i’ve got to interract with, the amazing people i’ve met...

yesterday marked two years of writing tatya.  two whole years, and...  at this point, she’s like a best friend.  i don’t want to stop writing her, but i don’t think this is the place to do it anymore.

so i will be moving tatya  ---  along with any other muse i have   ---  all to a brand new multimuse!!   this will be a medium-activity venture, featuring original characters as well as a lot of people already on my multi @starblcssd-a.  that blog, and this one, are now archived.  tatiana can be found on this new blog from now on, along with her sister maria.   she’ll...  probably still be my most active muse, tbh.  i love her too much.

find tatiana @dreamsuntcld !!

[nikolacvna-archive]

❈ ✼ ❈      STRANGER    ::   storytelers

If the strange princess had reminded him of Elizabeth’s grace at first, her drive in going up the hill was one hundred percent Demelza and all the other women in the village; he could not imagine Geoffrey Charles’s delicate mother getting her dresses dirty like this. Looking down at his own calloused hand, he nervously scrubs it on his pants. “I can get myself up, thank you. I can do it myself.”

          𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝   proves a greater challenge than expected.   only tatiana’s dignity prevents her from giggling as the young man hauls himself up on his own.    his movements are sharp and uneasy, eyes wide like a startled dear in the palace gardens    ---    is finding himself lost really so worrisome?    much as she feels sympathy for him, tatiana cannot help smiling.        at the sight of a stranger, several guards rush to the princesses’ sides, weapons drawn.    unruffled, tatiana turns to captain vozhnikov, addressing him in easy russian.         ‘ this poor english boy has lost his way.    look at him   --- '      she gestures quite animatedly to the young man, hoping to reassure even if he cannot understand her words.       ‘ we must help. ’

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❈ ✼ ❈      𝙿𝙻𝙾𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁 :    @peridans​  ft.  drunk!tatya

        𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭.    that is all this much-spoken-of fiancee is, tatiana decides after her sixth glass of champagne.    for all she has heard in whispers and echoes across the society circuit that lord dartmoor was seeking a wife, she’d expected someone...   more impressive.    perhaps she gave peridan’s taste too much credit.    this fiancee is dull-eyed and plain-faced, her hair done in the most gaudy manner...    she does nothing to disguise that she is english, does she?

         neither does he, for that matter.    the perfect english gentleman    ---   meeting her eyes across the room and betraying nothing, offering only a polite bow of his head.    well, tatiana is not english, and she is not french   ;;   she is russian.    or has he forgotten?   well, she will not let him forget.

           ‘ lord peridan.   you do grace us with your presence. ’     these heels are too damned high.   she manages not to sway on them, graceful no matter the occasion, but the heady flush to her face and the slur in her words gives her away.       ‘ and you have brought a companion!   when you have always made such a point of attending these society affairs  a l o n e  in the past.     how... ’     she regards the lady on his arm with an arch, too-friendly smile.       ‘ quaint. ’

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❈ ✼ ❈      *BELLS RINGING*   SHAME! SHAME!   ::   peridans

          𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐈𝐌.   there must be.   either she is intensely keen on ridding herself from something peridan has done this morning, or he is too blissful in thinking that she will stay around for long.   this is not how these types of things work…   she will leave and then it simply becomes a question of whether he will ever lay eyes on her again.   he should understand this by now;   SHE IS NOT THE FIRST OF HER KIND.

          catching her gaze, he quickly follows her demands to reach over the side of the bed   —   a hand brushing her leg covered with his bedsheets   —  to obtain her dress, in all its splendour, and gift it to her in a gentle gesture.     ‘  as a matter of fact, i don’t think i am,  ’      he utters.     ‘  are you sure you wouldn’t like any breakfast at all?   i swear you would not be a NUISANCE;   i simply wouldn’t allow it.  ’

          𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭  has smoldered, every one of her morals burns with shame.     this is not like you, a voice that sounds terribly like her mother chides.   this is not the grand duchess tatiana nikolaevna.     ( she is not the grand duchess anymore, though, is she?  is she?  if only she knew. )    his gaze burrows beneath her skin, leaving her even more exposed, in a far less agreeable way.    why must he be such a gentleman?

           of course he is   ---   peridan is  k i n d .    she knew that from the moment she met him.     but tatiana has not earned his kindness today.         ‘ thank you.  but i cannot. ’      her tone is soft, clipped  ---  hopefully not cruel.   she slides out of bed like a shadow, barely rustling the bedsheets   ;;   turning her back on him, she slips back into her gown, without the energy to locate the slip that goes beneath.     ( under the bed, maybe?  behind the sofa?   черт побери, he’ll find it later. )         some other time dances on the tip of her tongue, but she catches it just in time    ;;   perhaps she has lost her dignity, but not her common sense.    there will not be a next time.      at last presentable again, she turns to face him, eyes tender with a hint of vulnerability.     ‘ you have been very good, ’    she says softly  ---   not realizing until a moment too late how this sounds.     ‘ a gentleman, i mean.   you  ---   i appreciate it. ’

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Sir John Lavery — Spring. detail. 1904

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                   @russicnrat​  asked :     “ it’s russian. “  (just like everything he knows)

      ꧁ ༒ ☬   after anatevka starters  /  accepting!!  ☬ ༒ ꧂

          ‘ 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥…   𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧. ’         slender fingers play across the surface of the doll with characteristic consideration.   wood is hardly fragile, of course, especially not a russian-made toy    ;;    yet she is careful nonetheless.    a gift, he’d said, awkwardly presenting her the box.    they do not celebrate name-days in the rest of the world, and in paris the practice is literally foreign.    she’d nearly forgotten the date until…

            ‘ oh.   we had these when we were children. ’        for a moment, she is struck breathless, wide eyes taking in the carefully painted face and clothes of the fat matroyshka doll.    blue eyes, she has, and a blue dress to match. carefully, she breaks it open at the middle to reveal a smaller doll, green instead of bright blue…  with a dark, bobbed haircut.    inside is a purple doll with a sweet expression… and inside that, a doll that looks like anastasia, bright red dress and golden hair.    inside of anastasia…

            a hand flies to her mouth, nearly fumbling all of the dolls to the ground.   oh, it’s been so long…   a bit of russia across the continent, and how fitting that dmitry is the one to bring it to her!    blinking away an alarming sting, she plucks the tiny boy doll in a sailor’s suit out and holds it towards dmitry.    no, brandishes it at him, as if threatening to smack him.       ‘ did you commission this yourself? ’     he must have.    russian dolls of the last imperial children do not line the seine, after all.       ‘ where…   how did you…   oh, мой Бог. ’      dmitry is too clever for his own good, even if gift-giving doesn’t come naturally to him.    anastasia must have mentioned the dolls to him, so he thought…   urgh.    it’s a wonderful gift.   a perfectly russian gift.      she can’t stand him.        ‘ thank you, ’      she manages, haltingly.     ‘ i  —-  must think of a way to repay you. ’      by getting him the best possible gift for his own name day celebration.    damn it all, she will have to begin brainstorming today.

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                   @vinterdrxnning​​  asked :     Wishing only wounds the heart.

   ꧁ ༒ ☬  wicked sentence starters  /  accepting!!  ☬ ༒ ꧂

      𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞,  too fleeting to pin down.    when tatiana looks away, it is only to straighten out a wrinkle in her skirt   ;;   her composure has not faltered upon meeting queen elsa’s eyes again.         ‘ you sound quite grim, ’       she remarks, teasing…   but truth be told, that pearl of wisdom struck like a bullet in her breast.        now it aches, radiating outward in red-hot waves that leave her nauseous.      for royalty, the observation could not hold more truth.

       ‘ try not to let your thoughts stray to such things. ’    her soft voice is a pale substitute for comfort.        ‘ wishing…   is a liberty we are not allowed. ’

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❈ ✼ ❈      QUEEN ELSA    ::    vinterdrxnning

“𝐈 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 Anna would have been like had she gotten her own way all of the time,” Elsa giggled, eyes darting to watch the pup continue to investigate the room. “Our mother used to scold her something fierce for the antics she got up to. She rode her bike down the stairs once, and knocked over half the suits of armour!”

Iduna’s words used to drift up to her rooms as she dragged the disgraced princess back to her own quarters. That was if Elsa hadn’t already emerged from the sounds of crashes, wondering what on earth Anna had gotten up to this time. Much like when they were small and still close companions, it was often difficult to keep a straight face in response to her mischief. 

“I wouldn’t swap Anna for the world,” she said, smile softer now. 

          𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲  plays across the young queen’s face, and tatiana reflects it in her own smile.   siblings are a commodity   ---  an expensive one at times, sure, but absolutely priceless.     whispered jokes well past bedtime, followed by hushed giggling   ;;   pillow fights and stolen pastries   ;;   dressing for balls, in a hurricane of discarded dresses and well-intentioned fashion advice....    having sisters is such a particular experience, which no one without them could really understand.    

( how much of that did elsa get to experience before she and her sister grew apart? )

         ‘ you were the obedient child, i’m sure. ’       tatiana was, too, but that didn’t stop her from being dragged into mischief.     oh, the time they snuck into papa’s study...       ‘ i cannot imagine you...  wreaking mischief through the halls or sending your tutors into early retirement.   you mustn’t have caused your parents many worries! ’

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❈ ✼ ❈      LORENZO    :: cognoscente

         “   Exciting… chaotic.    ”    Yet despite his nagging word a smile was stretched on his lips as well. No matter what he said Lorenzo adored every single member of his family although it was a common secret he favoured Giuliano the most. How could he not? The male missed on the exhanged looks between sisters due to his make-up artist blocking the view as she applied the finishing touches on his now wrinkled face.     “  They do whenever they can. My family… they are quite busy. My brother usually visits during intermission, he always comes late.    ”   Sapphire hues glanced at his hands momentarily, in truth he never expected his family to attend all of his shows… perhaps he should? According to Tatiana this is what families ought to do…

           𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐮𝐩.   it’s simply how families work, especially large families.   tatiana has always been closest to her eldest sister   ;;   sometimes, it feels as though she and olga share a soul, split between two bodies.    ( that’s the sort of poetic turn of phrase olga would love. )     she and anastasia have always clashed heads, but that’s to be expected from two siblings with such different personalities.    loud people, vibrant people...   intimidate her a bit.   perhaps that’s why she is so drawn to them.         ‘ it’s lovely that your brother finds time to visit. ’       however cheerful her voice sounds, tatiana’s gaze is scrutinizing   ;;   something about his costume seems underwhelming.   the wig is askew, not quite matching his skin tone.  and the shading around his eyes...   oh, it doesn’t make the blue stand out at all!   she resists the urge to pick up a brush and try to do better   ---   though it wouldn’t be hard.           ‘ busy families are so chaotic, you know.   it’s sometimes easy to be forgotten. ’

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                                     @peridans​  asked :      ❝   i’m not sorry ❞

   ꧁ ༒ ☬  things that are hard to hear /  not accepting  ☬ ༒ ꧂

         𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  flashes across her face, twisting delicate features into a sneer.    a furious temper is tatiana’s greatest vice, her flaw most painstakingly disguised.    it is not befitting of a princess.    usually, she restrains it to snapping at her siblings when they have pushed her too far   ;;    for it to reveal itself truly, bold-faced and open, is a rarity.     in fact, it has not happened in years…   and never,  n e v e r  to peridan.

        but the way he spoke to her mother, the way he disrespected their friend as a guest in their home, cannot stand!   were it any other visitor, she would have no leave to speak.   she would not be so angry.    ( indeed, the sentiments he expressed were nothing she, in her uneasiest moments, has not contemplated herself. )     but for him   —   him, of all people, who she trusts, who she loves   —   to say them…    it feels like a betrayal.   she is aghast.   ashamed.   furious.

        ‘ that much is obvious. ’      he has never heard such a sharp edge in her voice, nor felt the sting of such rage.       even when he shrunk away from confessing his engagement over correspondence…   she was furious then, but this is something else.           ‘ to think i imagined you a gentleman.   you now call yourself a king!   yet in the house of another monarch, in my home, you   —   you  — ’        fists balling up with rage, cheeks flushed bright red, she can only sputter for a moment.     oh, she could almost spit at him.          ‘ i will not hear your refusals.   apologize to my mother, or… ’       or else.

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                       @virtuouslongings​  asked :      ❝   love casts long shadows. ❞

   ꧁ ༒ ☬  little women sentence starters  /  accepting!!  ☬ ༒ ꧂

       ‘ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡? ’        a hint of desperation lurks within her strained inquiry   —   as though tatiana’s heart has already been ravaged and left with nothing.     love is a weapon with a thousand blades, lashing out and cutting every time on gets close.    it is…   merciless.    to love someone is as good as to lose them, and when one has lost so much already…   perhaps they lose the ability to love at all.

        ( whip a horse, and he will learn.    beat a dog, and he will be trained.    knock a child down, and eventually he will stop trying to get up again.    cruel, but  t r u e . )

         turning her away from clarice’s empathetic gaze, tatiana finds it easier to affect aloofness.      ‘ one becomes chilled, living in the darkness all the time.   easier to step into the sunlight, and separate from the tiresome business of loving too much. ’