nikolaillantsov - Tumblr blog

[nikolaillantsov]

i am a lover. but underneath that i'm a hater. and then underneath that i'm a lover again

[nikolaillantsov]

[nikolaillantsov]

by benjaminwolf__

[nikolaillantsov]

[nikolaillantsov]

Casual cruelty has become so ingrained in a lot of people because we live in a society that is structured in a cruel way. To be quite honest you are obligated to consider the harm of your words and actions no matter your personal hardships.

[nikolaillantsov]

[nikolaillantsov]

if you're a human adult you physically need to eat actual vegetables, read real books, work, exercise, be outdoors, have sex, and have other real adult humans to talk to all on at LEAST a weekly basis or else you go will literally go completely insane and the problem is too many people choose to skip all those basic needs on purpose

[nikolaillantsov]

Moorea, French Polynesia

[nikolaillantsov]

you wait till tomorrow to eat that candy, to put on that new sweater, to start that notebook, to use your best cologne, to read that book.

and suddenly the candy is five years out of date, the sweater is no longer matching who you are and how you wanna be perceived, the notebook has now yellow paper, the cologne lost the scent and only smell like alcohol and you already had enough spoilers about that book.

yet the tomorrow never came, the perfect day never happened. the sky isn’t getting any brighter, and then you realize a sunrise wont change your life.

- athena (myself).

[nikolaillantsov]

(alone after sunset on a sunday) Does anyone love me

[nikolaillantsov]

Sleeping Beauty sculpture in the Berlin National Gallery

[nikolaillantsov]

I was such a sad lonely little girl Sumtimes I feel lik the rest of me got bigger but the inside of me is still the girl on playground w no friends … Sumtimes when I walk around I feel lik 1 Big Tear

[nikolaillantsov]

i'm madly in love with you

Get real

[nikolaillantsov]

being in love with ur friend like entirely platonically is insane. like. hey, i love you so much by the way. i carry a part of you in me, so if were apart ill still do things that will remind me of you because i got it from you. hey man i know were talking right now but i miss you. i love you

[nikolaillantsov]

you’re not evil girl you’re just lonely and no one has cared for you in a while and its making you crazy can you go get a fucking chai latte or something

[nikolaillantsov]

NO girl dont ruin your early 20s by staying home every saturday and lamenting the death of your childhood while also being afraid to even act like a 20 something year old bc you still feel so young yet so old and lost all at once haha you’re so sexy!

[nikolaillantsov]

i don’t know who needs to hear this, but guilt, self-hatred and shame are not sustainable sources of growth and healing. you can’t hate yourself into feeling better, or being better. you can’t repeatedly punish yourself for your flawed humanity and expect wholesome results.